I'm willing to offer Katy my help, if she wants it.

There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world it would be a shame to ruin hers by having kids.

A human baby or some kind of lower primate deal?

They got married after knowing each other 4 months and there might be trouble? Unpossible.

I'd like to see the Coyote eat the Road Runner
And I'd like to see Knievel blown to bits
I love to see Regis lay his hands upon that Ripa
But I'd love to see that Katy Perry's tits
Yeah I'd love to see that Katy Perry's tits

RexTalionis: cryinoutloud: They got married after knowing each other 4 months and there might be trouble? Unpossible.
I'm just surprised it's lasted as long as it has.

Yeah, me too. Maybe because they're rarely together.

RexTalionis: cryinoutloud: They got married after knowing each other 4 months and there might be trouble? Unpossible.

I'm just surprised it's lasted as long as it has.

well, it is probably easier when you don't actually have to be in the same room with russell that often.

Tat'dGreaser: He looks pretty miserable in that picture.

That's pretty much his "look."

Dead for Tax Reasons: Maybe if she kissed more girls he'd like it

...and we're done here. Last one out please lock the door.

Tat'dGreaser: He looks pretty miserable in that picture.

He always looks like that. It's apparently his schtick.

Since British gossip rags are your source for both of the claims in the headline, neither one of those might actually be true.

Talk about a misleading headline.

Nothing about her marriage being in trouble. Nothing about her wanting a baby. In fact, it says the complete opposite. She's taking a year off to spend time with her family, and she killed a rumour that she was pregnant.

That's some good troll baiting there, Lou.

That's weird, because as soon as any girl I date mentions children, the relationship is immediately over.

Memo to Katy: Glue babies dont work as advertised............you're just setting up the kid for a divided household.

That is all.

If the kid breastfeeds, will it get diabetes?

Go ahead and blast me for this, but Katy occasionally strikes me as the type that buys into the, for lack of a better way of putting it, the "female illusion." You know, the myths that women tend to believe about men, love and marriage that are more idealistic than realistic.

These beliefs are often common to, say, high school girls that feel the need to put on an outward appearance of being popular, pretty and having everything perfect, which is often the vibe Katy gives off. For instance:

- "Oooh, I love the bad boys. But he'll certainly change once he's with me ... because he loves me so much and wants to give me whatever I want!"

- "He'll totally understand that I want everyone to think we have the perfect relationship, so I'll be all flirty and hang all over him when other people (or the cameras) are around. But he'll also understand that's so much work and that I don't want to be that way at all at home or in the bedroom since I have to be that way in public all the time. He'll always be there to be the one person I can go to whenever I'm feeling biotchy or less than pretty (which might be all the time behind the scenes) and he'll totally get it ... because he loves me so much!"

- "Wait, he's not always making me laugh and upbeat like I was thinking he'd be, nor is he stopping his bad-boy ways. This in no way could be due me being one person in public, and when we were dating, and being a totally different person while we're alone or since we've been married. I know what can fix this, though: A baby! Then we'll spend all our time when we're not working together raising that baby and that'll make it perfect! And I'm in no way being blinded by my hormones! And he's certainly going to fight off the instincts of his testosterone!"

In other words, I see them having the baby. I see them lasting two years after that. Then I see it over. I see his career starting to die off as he slowly goes back to stand-up shows like Pauly Shore. I see hers only sticking around as long as she has a body, after which she becomes Christina Aguilera-like, still trying to do her thing despite people going "Ew, please don't wear that" after seeing outfits entirely too tight to hold everything in.

/Amiright?

Homer Nixon: Tat'dGreaser: He looks pretty miserable in that picture.

That's pretty much his "look."


I still think he looks like Weird Al Yankovic with a more facial hair.

BurnShrike: I'm willing to offer Katy my help, if she wants it.

The line starts behind me.

If she wanted to get pregnant by a scruffy, no talent boor, she could have given me a call.

Dude snapped a "just-woke-up" picture of his wife--looking for all intents and purposes like a hung-over Ruth Buzzi--then posted it on the Internet. This strikes me as a man who a) does not love his wife, and b) doesn't have the sense God gave a turnip in realizing this would piss off every single woman on the planet given the same situation.

But he's a good looking bad boy with an accent so ALL IS FORGIVEN.

/Sterilize both of them, for the good of humanity

LessO2: Homer Nixon: Tat'dGreaser: He looks pretty miserable in that picture.

That's pretty much his "look."


I still think he looks like Weird Al Yankovic with a more facial hair.

...and crazy eyes

spman: I still say they're implants, or at least if they aren't totally fake, she's had some work done. A girl that fit simply does not have natural breasts that look like that, it's anatomically impossible

you've never actually seen a woman in real life have you?

truth: a woman who works out a lot burns a lot of fat tissue
truth: breasts are mainly made up of fat tissue
non-truth: no physically fit woman can have pert & perky & larger-than-an-a-cup breasts
truth: a woman with naturally large breasts is more likely to have them looking really nice (like katy's) BECAUSE she is fit
truth: i have no desire to look up "citations", but i know my real-life research to be true

spman: I still say they're implants, or at least if they aren't totally fake, she's had some work done. A girl that fit simply does not have natural breasts that look like that, it's anatomically impossible. She also needs to stop with the stupid pink and blue wigs.

I know a lot of folks at home are confused by your post, so I'm going to do my best to translate: You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand.

1. Put snakes on plane: spman: I still say they're implants, or at least if they aren't totally fake, she's had some work done. A girl that fit simply does not have natural breasts that look like that, it's anatomically impossible. She also needs to stop with the stupid pink and blue wigs.

I know a lot of folks at home are confused by your post, so I'm going to do my best to translate: You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand.

would that bag be a...

PLASTIC BAG?

apeiron242: BurnShrike: I'm willing to offer Katy my help, if she wants it.

The line starts behind me.

If the line ends with me having sex with Katy Perry - you do NOT want me standing behind you!

God I love her so much.

and heist my man card if you must, but "Teenage Dream" is a fantastic pop song. I always say the chorus for some reason reminds me of "Sweet Jane". I've never looked at the chord structure of each, but godammit if I don't hear "Sweet Jane" in "Teenage Dream".

and "Fireworks" is a phenomenal song. The string backing really takes it to 11.

Oh katy. baby. we could be sooooooooooooooo good for each other. holla at me, girl. dammit i said holla.

th0th: /Sterilize both of them, for the good of humanity

This.

They would both evaporate in a puff of sulfur-smelling dust if people stopped paying attention to them.

I've seen an interview of her on Youtube where the guy says "I know you don't want to make your private life public, but..." and I'll never forget the flummoxed look on her face. She almost goes into a drooling seizure as her brain struggles to grasp what the hell he's talking about.

Her smile is as fake as her hair and her tits and her entire persona. I bet she's insufferable to be around.

People seem to know a whole lot about these two.

Know your enemy.

spman: I still say they're implants, or at least if they aren't totally fake, she's had some work done. A girl that fit simply does not have natural breasts that look like that, it's anatomically impossible.

She looked like that when she was 16. And it most certainly is anatomically possible, just not usual. Punky Brewster wasn't carrying around 100 lbs of extra weight and her tits were so big it took two surgeries to get them down to size.

Well. Katy has always been the underachiever in her family. After you look at her brothers Luke, Matt and Steve, you can see why she settled for that loser Russell.

I hope to any god that is out there that she shows us her amazing mom boobbs when they come in... my pants are ripping just thinking about it

Gunderson: Well. Katy has always been the underachiever in her family. After you look at her brothers Luke, Matt and Steve, you can see why she settled for that loser Russell.

LOL

RexTalionis: I hear that some people have babies because they think they are unloved and that a baby would unconditionally love them.

I've always thought kids were the keys to your immortality. Mostly by being genetically compatible organ donors if necessary.

I had an ex like that. By the 5th kid the courts were involved and they somehow managed to force her to get her tubes tied.

Hebalo: Fireworks is a great song. There's an acoustic version by Boyce Avenue that removes the Katy Perryness, and it's even better.


the album as a whole kinda blows but those two songs are pretty good. as is "extra terrestrial".

good pop is good pop. don't deny it just because she has huge tits or has "shtick". christ, david bowie / freddie mercury didn't write pop songs or camp it up? mick jagger? hello?

/i know, "she's. not. gonna. fark. you", "nice white knight, dipshiat". i' m just saying.

rickythepenguin: Hebalo: Fireworks is a great song. There's an acoustic version by Boyce Avenue that removes the Katy Perryness, and it's even better.


the album as a whole kinda blows but those two songs are pretty good. as is "extra terrestrial".

good pop is good pop. don't deny it just because she has huge tits or has "shtick". christ, david bowie / freddie mercury didn't write pop songs or camp it up? mick jagger? hello?

/i know, "she's. not. gonna. fark. you", "nice white knight, dipshiat". i' m just saying.



Elaborate costumes are a basic fact of being an entertainer.