Equilibrist: This is so two months ago

This is a followup (not subby).

Also, the only acceptable structure would be a Motte and Bailey:



You're going to need room for farming behind an easily defended wall and there will be a dearth of available materiel. Most the effort building the structure will have to be by hand, every construction prospect will have to come at a caloric cost, and there's going to have to be room for the eventual buildup of dead zombies as it might be some time before you can remove bodies.

Once again, read the Emberverse Series by S.M. Stirling. (nothing to do with zombies, but a very nice look at post-apocolyptic survival)

/there's a lot of farming and paganism in the first book, the second book gets better

dahmers love zombie: I live in an odd house. The guy who built it was a retired Marine who traveled for his job and wanted his wife protected. VERY low crime neighborhood (when the house was built, anyway), but he replaced the front doors with metal, solid core doors. That's not the strange part. It's got sensors on every door and window set to make an audible "beep" any time a door/window is opened. That, as well, is not strange.

However, the door to the master suite is also solid core metal. With a peephole. And a deadbolt. And a keyed second lock. And the door to the bedroom IN the master suite has a deadbolt. And the closet in the bathroom in the master suite has a phone jack.

I tell people that I plan to reverse the bedroom door peephole and charge by the minute.

Safe Room. Are the walls double-layer 3/4 inch sheet-rock with hardware cloth sandwiched in between and the floors built up? Did the previous owner always make sure he had a loaded gun while he cleaned the rest of his arsenal? Do you hang out on gun-whack threads?

CSB
I had a friend once who bought a house that had been built in the 1920s by a banker. Between two bedrooms he had a walk-in steel vault that he used as a closet. I don't know if the locks had been disabled or not.
end CSB

/and I do hang around with gun-whacks, though I haven't built a safe room yet.

I figure an island with 8' vertical sides would serve well enough. Boats can still access it, but it's safe from zombies, moderate flooding, outsiders (zombies are possibly the least threatening thing in the zompocalypse, at least when compared to live humans) and depending on the size of the island, it can have livestock, trees, berries, a small wheat field and other crops.

Don't zombies decay away pretty quickly, unless you are in a cold climate?

Any zombie-proof design that ignores being regular-human-looter-proof is destined to fail. I liked the concept with the city towers acting as networked fortresses, connected by high-floor ziplines and cranes. If you need to hold out for a year, this might work, assuming you could provision it enough. It would make a cool backdrop for a book or movie.

But power and water would be harder to manage than that design would suggest. Pumping against gravity without power... forget it. Rooftop collection? Not enough surface area in a rooftop of a skyscraper versus the habitable volume, maybe enough for a rooftop garden but not much for the occupants. Getting power established to run the cranes and anything else... problematical. Using emergency generators is good for 2 days at most. Everything in the building works on 220 AC, wind generators of a size easily hauled up are 12 volt DC type, and there's no battery bank to store it on, unless you raid cars in the street. Try outrunning zombies with a car battery in your arms. Not impossible, but improbable. You would have to assume a relatively long warning and prep period to appropriately provision the towers and adapt them, before the streets became impassable. Helicopter deliveries to the roofs might work for a while after. Your movie would probably go that way: after a city has fallen to zombies, an outside agency re-occupies a single defensible tower building tower to use as a base to monitor, research, and handle rescue ops. Like those rainforest canopy research rafts that are suspended up in the trees.

An idea I *could* buy, is designing the towers from the very beginning to be convertible to forts. Anybody who went to that kind of trouble would only do so if they were absofarking crazy, or if they had solid advance knowledge of what was coming. And if they had the years of advance warning required to construct the specialized building, why the hell didn't they do something to stop the zombies from the beginning? Unless they WANTED it to happen? So the tower planner would have to be crazy AND evil.

Why do these designs always wind up as poorly thought- out 1st year art student pencil drawings. These are some of the stupidest farking ideas. I mean even more stupid than the concept of a zombie apocalypse itself.

Since they don't exist I'd say any design is 100% zombie/vampire/werewolf/angel proof.

bigtotoro: Since they don't exist I'd say any design is 100% zombie/vampire/werewolf/angel proof.

A good zombie-proof design is also a good ill-equipped-mob-proof design.

I want Stephanie Meyer to write books about zombies. That's the only real way to kill them.

Zombie proof designs? Maybe

Practical? Not in the slightest...

socodog: Why do these designs always wind up as poorly thought- out 1st year art student pencil drawings. These are some of the stupidest farking ideas. I mean even more stupid than the concept of a zombie apocalypse itself.

Not to mention expensive or ridiculously hard to build. A network of oil rig like structures out at sea really? Do these people have any concept of how much money and effort it takes to build one of those. Not to mention all the upkeep.

I figured there would be way better designs than this. You need to use widely available materials that are relatively easy to fashion into a living area. One that's large enough for farming and can keep out living human intruders. I already know what my idea is because it already exists. No expensive custom fabrication necessary.

Well if we're just making stuff up how about a house on the moon for as practical as 90% of that list was.

The best one is a brick house with solid wood shutters and a steel core door with door jamb armor. Ta da!

Unsung_Hero: A good zombie-proof design is also a good ill-equipped-mob-proof design.

Unless your design is impervious to fire, you still have a lot of worries when threatened by a mob or looters. A tent in NW Montana is safer than a hardened bunker near a city. The best form of safety is being alone.

nocturn: Equilibrist: This is so two months ago

This is a followup (not subby).

Also, the only acceptable structure would be a Motte and Bailey:



You're going to need room for farming behind an easily defended wall and there will be a dearth of available materiel. Most the effort building the structure will have to be by hand, every construction prospect will have to come at a caloric cost, and there's going to have to be room for the eventual buildup of dead zombies as it might be some time before you can remove bodies.

Once again, read the Emberverse Series by S.M. Stirling. (nothing to do with zombies, but a very nice look at post-apocolyptic survival)

/there's a lot of farming and paganism in the first book, the second book gets better

Damn, my idea is basically that, no water, but big enough for a whole colony of people. Possibly built around a small town. The idea was to scavenge digging equipment and fuel.. I'm counting on being very lucky....

And removing the zombie build-up is a matter of burning them away.

inkblot: I want Stephanie Meyer to write books about zombies. That's the only real way to kill them.

Why do zombies need safe houses? Are they undercover zombies?

The Dam design is excellent and practical,
moving water pushes zombie bodies away, outside barrier prevents even those that make it,
you've got water to create energy...you'll have to figure out how to de-zombie the water for drinking
until Mother Nature rears her biatchy side...floods are going to be the real deal.

BTW, moving water is also good against people, vampires and werewolves,
Angels can fly and don't have "rules" against running water.

But sticking to just zombies, you should be good until you get the rebellion on the inside.
Cabin fever is a biatch...

gravy chugging cretin.: dahmers love zombie: I live in an odd house. The guy who built it was a retired Marine who traveled for his job and wanted his wife protected. VERY low crime neighborhood (when the house was built, anyway), but he replaced the front doors with metal, solid core doors. That's not the strange part. It's got sensors on every door and window set to make an audible "beep" any time a door/window is opened. That, as well, is not strange.

However, the door to the master suite is also solid core metal. With a peephole. And a deadbolt. And a keyed second lock. And the door to the bedroom IN the master suite has a deadbolt. And the closet in the bathroom in the master suite has a phone jack.

I tell people that I plan to reverse the bedroom door peephole and charge by the minute.

Safe Room. Are the walls double-layer 3/4 inch sheet-rock with hardware cloth sandwiched in between and the floors built up? Did the previous owner always make sure he had a loaded gun while he cleaned the rest of his arsenal? Do you hang out on gun-whack threads?

CSB
I had a friend once who bought a house that had been built in the 1920s by a banker. Between two bedrooms he had a walk-in steel vault that he used as a closet. I don't know if the locks had been disabled or not.
end CSB

/and I do hang around with gun-whacks, though I haven't built a safe room yet.

Better to hang out with gun-whacks that people looking to be victims.

rogue49: The Dam design is excellent and practical,
moving water pushes zombie bodies away, outside barrier prevents even those that make it,
you've got water to create energy...you'll have to figure out how to de-zombie the water for drinking
until Mother Nature rears her biatchy side...floods are going to be the real deal.

BTW, moving water is also good against people, vampires and werewolves,
Angels can fly and don't have "rules" against running water.

But sticking to just zombies, you should be good until you get the rebellion on the inside.
Cabin fever is a biatch...

I thought the Dam idea was a good one as well that could actually be implemented.

I think the most cost effective Zombie survival lodging is having a handful of shipping containers scattered around 30+ acres of lightly wooded area. You could then go to the extra trouble of putting in some tunnels, underground storage areas, or moats or whatever. I know a few of the hunting clubs and lodges in my area have gone to this approach. Its not fancy but if someone really wants to have a cheap but effective shelter in case of end of civilization scenarios then thats the way to go.

dahmers love zombie: I live in an odd house. The guy who built it was a retired Marine who traveled for his job and wanted his wife protected. VERY low crime neighborhood (when the house was built, anyway), but he replaced the front doors with metal, solid core doors. That's not the strange part. It's got sensors on every door and window set to make an audible "beep" any time a door/window is opened. That, as well, is not strange.

However, the door to the master suite is also solid core metal. With a peephole. And a deadbolt. And a keyed second lock. And the door to the bedroom IN the master suite has a deadbolt. And the closet in the bathroom in the master suite has a phone jack.

I tell people that I plan to reverse the bedroom door peephole and charge by the minute.

Buy a $9.99 garbage phone at Wal-Mart and put it in the closet. Laugh at that former Marine's paranoia all day long. But God forbid the day comes when you're in that room and there's someone terrible on the other side. Ten minutes and ten bucks could buy you your life back someday. I'd call that a bargain.

Any Pie Left: Any zombie-proof design that ignores being regular-human-looter-proof is destined to fail. I liked the concept with the city towers acting as networked fortresses, connected by high-floor ziplines and cranes. If you need to hold out for a year, this might work, assuming you could provision it enough. It would make a cool backdrop for a book or movie.

But power and water would be harder to manage than that design would suggest. Pumping against gravity without power... forget it. Rooftop collection? Not enough surface area in a rooftop of a skyscraper versus the habitable volume, maybe enough for a rooftop garden but not much for the occupants. Getting power established to run the cranes and anything else... problematical. Using emergency generators is good for 2 days at most. Everything in the building works on 220 AC, wind generators of a size easily hauled up are 12 volt DC type, and there's no battery bank to store it on, unless you raid cars in the street. Try outrunning zombies with a car battery in your arms. Not impossible, but improbable. You would have to assume a relatively long warning and prep period to appropriately provision the towers and adapt them, before the streets became impassable. Helicopter deliveries to the roofs might work for a while after. Your movie would probably go that way: after a city has fallen to zombies, an outside agency re-occupies a single defensible tower building tower to use as a base to monitor, research, and handle rescue ops. Like those rainforest canopy research rafts that are suspended up in the trees.

An idea I *could* buy, is designing the towers from the very beginning to be convertible to forts. Anybody who went to that kind of trouble would only do so if they were absofarking crazy, or if they had solid advance knowledge of what was coming. And if they had the years of advance warning required to construct the specialized building, why the hell didn't they do something to stop the zombies from the beginning? Unless they WANTED it to happen? So the tower planner would have to be crazy AND evil.

Any true zombie (an any other more realistic) survival plan is going to take a hefty dose of old fashioned survival know-how. Look to the Amish. Hell, look to hippies on communes. Figure out how to grow food, hot to fertilize soil with what can be found in nature. How to collect, sterilize and store water. Canned good are going to run out. Your water will run out sooner. Get used to the idea of working with your hands to survive ever day. A rooftop garden and water collection system could work if you know how to keep it up. Most people don't know how to do that though. Even the bubbas with the 62 rifles and 200 boxes of MREs are going to be in a world of pain when they realize they don't have the mind-set or skill-set to make their tool-set work.

My girlfriends idea of roughing it was staying at a hotel before she met me. I drag her out to the woods or the desert from time to time with only a little water and a sleeping bag. She has learned quite a bit about improvising and survival. I got her to the point where she can build a basic shelter, find food and water and start a fire from nothing. I think what ever catastrophe we may find ourselves in we will be just fine. I do have supplies etc. but if we should run out of rations no worries.

bigtotoro: Since they don't exist I'd say any design is 100% zombie/vampire/werewolf/angel proof.

People like you make me very sad.

Smartass reply


Real deal:
Link (new window)

brigid_fitch: I went through a few zombie-proofing scenarios but, after reading The Walking Dead, abandoned the idea. I think being a nomad is the way to go. I live on the Jersey Shore--I'll just steal a boat & stock it to the gills. If I run out of stuff, I'll raid. Not that I have any romantic notions of being a pirate--it's just that I'd hate to go through all the trouble of zombie-proofing my house, with its bountiful veggie 'garden & future cistern on the roof, only to abandon it when I'm inevitably overrun or forced out by someone with more firepower. Nope, being mobile is the way to go.

/And yes, I sat through the credits of Dawn of the Dead remake
//They chose...poorly.


They actually chose the plan from "Maximum Overdrive" as their sanctuary so I say they had it coming.

Your amphibious raiding plan is closer to the ancient Vikings than pirates. My plan is a lot like yours but my location precludes any maritime adventuring. My plan is more like the marauding biker gang from the 1979. version of "Dawn".

The one in the comments was the best.

My house is perfectly designed against real threats-Easter bunny, tooth fairy, loch ness monster.
Not some imaginary overplayed meme like zombies.

Zombies Would Never Be A Problem
People keep forgetting this. Remember Night Of The Living Dead? It was only a night because people are REALLY F***ING GOOD AT KILLING STUFF. Zombies are slow and stupid. They don't use weapons. They don't use vehicles. They can't jump. They can't climb. You've just described the world's stupidest army.

They don't have anything going for them.

DjangoStonereaver: For the last time:

THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS ZOMBIES!

this.

maybe i'm "that guy", but this whole zombie kitsch is silly.

meatofmystery: DjangoStonereaver: For the last time:

THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS ZOMBIES!

this.

maybe i'm "that guy", but this whole zombie kitsch is silly.

So are sparkly vampires and wizard boys. This too shall pass.

I can't believe this didn't turn into a "Walking Dead" discussion thread

tinfoil-hat maggie:

Well don't spoil tonight's ep I'm saving it for tomorrow : )

I won't even even spoil NEXT weeks ep either

titwrench: My girlfriends idea of roughing it was staying at a hotel before she met me. I drag her out to the woods or the desert from time to time with only a little water and a sleeping bag. She has learned quite a bit about improvising and survival. I got her to the point where she can build a basic shelter, find food and water and start a fire from nothing. I think what ever catastrophe we may find ourselves in we will be just fine. I do have supplies etc. but if we should run out of rations no worries.

You'll eat her?

mjno7: titwrench: My girlfriends idea of roughing it was staying at a hotel before she met me. I drag her out to the woods or the desert from time to time with only a little water and a sleeping bag. She has learned quite a bit about improvising and survival. I got her to the point where she can build a basic shelter, find food and water and start a fire from nothing. I think what ever catastrophe we may find ourselves in we will be just fine. I do have supplies etc. but if we should run out of rations no worries.

You'll eat her?

I'd bet that happens even if they don't run out of supplies.

tinfoil-hat maggie: Mrbogey: Well if we're just making stuff up how about a house on the moon for as practical as 90% of that list was.

The best one is a brick house with solid wood shutters and a steel core door with door jamb armor. Ta da!

Except you could starve to death,run out of water, or die from the problems of waste disposal if the siege last long enough.

Any fortification will have that problem. Gardening Ina secured location and a cistern would take care of most of that.

taurusowner:
Buy a $9.99 garbage phone at Wal-Mart and put it in the closet. Laugh at that former Marine's paranoia all day long. But God forbid the day comes when you're in that room and there's someone terrible on the other side. Ten minutes and ten bucks could buy you your life back someday. I'd call that a bargain.


I don't think a phone has ever saved anyone. Could be wrong. I think he'd be better off with a firearm. This is based on my experience with "home invaders".

I also don't think his house is very odd. I was expecting something much more interesting.