If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph) Sad Study designed to illustrate just how effeminate Britain has become says men take longer to get ready than women -- including more time cleansing, toning and moisturizing   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 98
More: Sad, study design, Britain, armpits  
•       •       •

3757 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2011 at 1:19 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
Farty McPooPants
2011-11-20 01:21:06 PM
Has become? Haven't they always been a bit poof-sh?
 
AcneVulgaris
2011-11-20 01:23:17 PM
"On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.
 
whither_apophis
2011-11-20 01:23:56 PM
but not brushing or flossing!

amirite??
 
Benjimin_Dover
2011-11-20 01:24:11 PM
It's just skewed. When the women there take zero or near zero then of course the men will take longer.
 
sleep lack
2011-11-20 01:24:25 PM
AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

I think a decimal point is missing somewhere surely.
 
ows
2011-11-20 01:24:39 PM
i notice it didn't include brushing teeth.......
 
thurstonxhowell
2011-11-20 01:24:44 PM
AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

Maybe they meant to say week.
 
Johnny Savage
2011-11-20 01:25:19 PM
cleansing, toning and moisturizing

Is that what they're calling it these days?
 
brimed03
2011-11-20 01:26:58 PM
I'm moving to the UK. British women's boobs are swelling to ginormous size, and the domestic competition is becoming pouf-y. Nttawwt, esp since it works to my benefit.

Motorboating? Hell, I can go yachting on some of those lassies.
 
suziequzie
2011-11-20 01:27:07 PM
chevronone.com

He can take all the time he wants. Results are worth it.
 
Pointy Tail of Satan [TotalFark]
2011-11-20 01:27:48 PM
Obviously this doesn't include Scotland. Time to rebuild Hadrian's Wall!
 
StanTheMan
2011-11-20 01:28:53 PM
suziequzie: [chevronone.com image 240x240]

He can take all the time he wants. Results are worth it.

Yeah, well my poof-dar™ is making air-raid siren noises.
 
FerneJohn
2011-11-20 01:28:59 PM
AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

I cleanse and moisturize, and I'm still done - teeth, shower, shaving, and all - in under an hour.
 
Treygreen13 [TotalFark]
2011-11-20 01:30:03 PM
The only thing that really increases the daily prep time for me is the taint-waxing. I've got to wax that thing 3, maybe 4 times a day. It can be very time consuming.
 
StanTheMan
2011-11-20 01:30:12 PM
images.starpulse.com
Who you callin' effeminate?
 
odinsposse
2011-11-20 01:32:20 PM
Totaling up my time for all of the activities in the article I take half as long as the average. From the comments I assume there are lots of Brits like me. So who the hell is driving the average up so high?
 
syfylys channel
2011-11-20 01:34:01 PM
Meanwhile, the queen says, "*BELCH* GOddammit phillip quit poofing around and let's go party with the yobs down at the football pitch."
 
Enigmamf
2011-11-20 01:34:28 PM
odinsposse: Totaling up my time for all of the activities in the article I take half as long as the average. From the comments I assume there are lots of Brits like me. So who the hell is driving the average up so high?

Elton John?
 
hasty ambush
2011-11-20 01:34:41 PM
AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

Some males might but no men do.
 
Enigmamf
2011-11-20 01:36:31 PM
hasty ambush: AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

Some males might but no men do.

Oh come on, what's so bad about guys wanting to look good? I hope all this "real man" BS goes away.
 
trappedspirit
2011-11-20 01:37:13 PM
Toning? They are counting time as the gym?

Study designed to illustrate just how effeminate Britain has become says men take longer to get ready than women -- including more time cleansing, toning and moisturizing exactly what it was designed to

/shocking
 
trappedspirit
2011-11-20 01:37:48 PM
*at the gym
 
YouPeopleAreCrazy
2011-11-20 01:38:04 PM
AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

I'm sure some of them do:
media1.break.com

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
Enigmamf
2011-11-20 01:43:53 PM
trappedspirit: Toning? They are counting time as the gym?

Study designed to illustrate just how effeminate Britain has become says men take longer to get ready than women -- including more time cleansing, toning and moisturizing exactly what it was designed to

/shocking

Oh don't you see? "Bulking" is manly, "Toning" is girly. Men need to be bulky, and if you're not... well you're not a Real Man™.
 
Pants full of macaroni!! [TotalFark]
2011-11-20 01:44:38 PM
I thought the whole metrosexual thing was over.
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2011-11-20 01:45:15 PM
I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
 
Huck And Molly Ziegler
2011-11-20 01:47:44 PM
Bathia_Mapes: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

"How YOU doin'?"
 
FerneJohn
2011-11-20 01:49:04 PM
Bathia_Mapes: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

You're a fu@king ugly bi#ch.
 
BarbadoSlim
2011-11-20 01:49:56 PM
This is news? I thought it was common knowledge.
 
epoc_tnac
2011-11-20 01:50:56 PM
suziequzie: [chevronone.com image 240x240]

He can take all the time he wants. Results are worth it.

Who's that ugly freak?
 
hasty ambush
2011-11-20 01:52:59 PM
Enigmamf: hasty ambush: AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

Some males might but no men do.

Oh come on, what's so bad about guys wanting to look good? I hope all this "real man" BS goes away.

It seems you are getting your wish; at least in Britain.

Being a real man in never BS. If men are not expected to act as men then don't be surprised if you have no men around , just males who act more like women.
 
WeenerGord
2011-11-20 01:55:26 PM
Bathia_Mapes: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.


Sounds to me like you gotta lotta shiat on your head.

i429.photobucket.com
 
CruJones
2011-11-20 01:56:28 PM
20 minutes. When I shave, it's in the shower, and I brush my teeth in the shower. I have never moisturized or toned, whatever the hell that is, and I don't seem to need to. I brush my hair, put on my clothes and go to work. It shouldn't take time to pick out an outfit. Is it clean? Does it look ok? Good enough.
 
The more you eat the more you fart
2011-11-20 01:57:14 PM
brimed03: I'm moving to the UK. British women's boobs are swelling to ginormous size, and the domestic competition is becoming pouf-y. Nttawwt, esp since it works to my benefit.

Motorboating? Hell, I can go yachting on some of those lassies.

+1
 
pottie
2011-11-20 01:57:26 PM
Real men don't do cleansing, toning and moisturizing, we shiat, shower and shave.
 
epoc_tnac
2011-11-20 02:01:42 PM
Enigmamf: Oh come on, what's so bad about guys wanting to look good? I hope all this "real man" BS goes away.

1: It's the same vain bullshiat that women have been suffering from for the last 60 years
2: Who are you to say it looks 'good'? I'm sure that some girls appreciate men that waste as much time and money on cosmetics as they do, but I'm sure a lot (like my wife) think it's farking stupid and unattractive

My personal opinion is that anyone who allows themselves to be bullied into a certain image by the media and peer pressure deserves the misery and insecurity that comes with it.
 
Dick_Hertz
2011-11-20 02:02:02 PM
One word :

MAN-SCAPING !!!
 
Cythraul [TotalFark]
2011-11-20 02:02:06 PM
Bathia_Mapes: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

I don't really consider a man who has a high level of hygiene maintenance to be 'less manly,' necessarily, but I would be worried about mixing all those chemicals on my body. Have you seen the 'first' batman film directed by Tim Burton? See the scene were Joker puts out a nerve agent that kills people if they mix just the right amount of specific contaminated hygiene products?

Hehe...
 
epoc_tnac
2011-11-20 02:04:18 PM
pottie: Real men don't do cleansing, toning and moisturizing, we shiat, shower and shave.

BZZZZZZZZT. Real men don't shave.

I love it when someone asks me if I'm growing a beard like I'm the one making an effort.
 
watson.t.hamster
2011-11-20 02:05:09 PM
AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

It should take at least that long to properly powder ones wig. So yeah, way too short.
 
WeenerGord
2011-11-20 02:05:14 PM
Those greazy faced poofters are not gay, just British. Nttawwt.

Also

Harmful Ingredients in Moisturizers

You might think that reputed beauty companies would avoid using harmful ingredients in the moisturizers, considering how expensive some of them are. But sadly, even some of the best facial moisturizers contain harmful ingredients that in the long run would dry up your skin and speed up the aging process. Here is a list of moisturizer ingredients that might harm your skin's structure.

* Petroleum Products: Petroleum products like paraffin and mineral oils clogs up the pores causing the appearance of whiteheads and blackheads. It also slows down the development of collagen and regular use of such products causes build up of toxins.
* Parabens: This is a very widely used preservative that is used in moisturizers as well as other skin care products. They disrupt the body's hormonal balance and also adversely affect the adrenal system. Some research has also linked parabens with cancer.
* Sodium Laureth Sulfate: This is also a harmful moisturizer ingredient that is found in hair shampoos too. It can very easily penetrate the skin by breaking down the moisture barrier of the skin. When sodium laureth sulfate combines with some other chemicals found in the moisturizer it turns into nitrosamine which is a carcinogen.
* Propylene Glycol: Propylene glycol can inhibit the growth of skin cell and also cause dermatitis. Prolonged use can give rise to skin irritation and kidney and liver abnormalities.


Not to mention rendered animal fat from hog slaughterhouses and beef tallow. Might as well rub your face with a block of lard.

static.guim.co.uk
 
mr0x
2011-11-20 02:05:15 PM
This has been obvious to all the dioxins in the environment that act like estrogen in the environment. The dioxins have made men effeminate but for women, they have made them prettier and healthier.
 
CitizenTed [TotalFark]
2011-11-20 02:05:30 PM
Benjimin_Dover: It's just skewed. When the women there take zero or near zero then of course the men will take longer.

Totally untrue! And I defy you to show one examp-

www.chimpout.com

Oh. Never mind.
 
Porous Horace
2011-11-20 02:07:16 PM
pottie: Real men don't do cleansing, toning and moisturizing, we shiat, shower and shave.

Simultaneously.
 
Dick_Hertz
2011-11-20 02:08:04 PM
Enigmamf: hasty ambush: AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

Some males might but no men do.

Oh come on, what's so bad about guys wanting to look good? I hope all this "real man" BS goes away.

How do I know you're Gay ???
 
Coming on a Bicycle
2011-11-20 02:08:55 PM
81 minutes a day is 76 minutes for a really nice long prostate cleaning session. Plus five minutes to wipe and get my clothes on.
 
WeenerGord
2011-11-20 02:10:17 PM
timallenphoto.co.uk
 
dittybopper
2011-11-20 02:12:29 PM
WeenerGord: Those greazy faced poofters are not gay, just British. Nttawwt.

There is a fine line between being British and being gay.
 
ukexpat
2011-11-20 02:13:21 PM
YouPeopleAreCrazy: AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

I'm sure some of them do:

But, aliens?
 
AcneVulgaris
2011-11-20 02:15:43 PM
watson.t.hamster: AcneVulgaris: "On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming"

Horseshiat.

It should take at least that long to properly powder ones wig. So yeah, way too short.

Well, I do admit I spend a signifiant amount of time affixing my merkin JUST so, but still, 81 minutes?
 
Displayed 50 of 98 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »