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(Miami New Times) Florida Never give a baby a wine cooler. Never slap your sister. Never slap your sister for giving a baby a wine cooler   (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) divider line 77
More: Florida, Fort Myers, baby  
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9422 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2011 at 12:26 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-11-19 11:59:34 PM
After looking at the picture in the article and reading that her brother slapped her in the face for giving her toddler alcohol, I have just one question. Was that picture taken before or after she was hit in the face?
 
2011-11-20 12:26:53 AM
Bathia_Mapes: After looking at the picture in the article and reading that her brother slapped her in the face for giving her toddler alcohol, I have just one question. Was that picture taken before or after she was hit in the face?

I presume before, unless he slapped her with the ugly stick.
 
2011-11-20 12:29:37 AM
Barakku: Bathia_Mapes: After looking at the picture in the article and reading that her brother slapped her in the face for giving her toddler alcohol, I have just one question. Was that picture taken before or after she was hit in the face?

I presume before, unless he slapped her with the ugly stick.


"Stick"? Shiat, she was hit with a 2x4 at least
 
2011-11-20 12:30:19 AM
Barakku: Bathia_Mapes: After looking at the picture in the article and reading that her brother slapped her in the face for giving her toddler alcohol, I have just one question. Was that picture taken before or after she was hit in the face?

I presume before, unless he slapped her with the ugly stick.


Or he slapped her when she was up an ugly tree and she hit every branch on the way down.

I saw no mention of the toddler's daddy. Hopefully it wasn't the brother who did the slapping.
 
2011-11-20 12:31:11 AM
And never, ever slap your sister while your dick is in her mouth.
 
2011-11-20 12:32:33 AM
"Laqweeta"

What a precious name.
 
2011-11-20 12:34:53 AM
Bathia_Mapes: After looking at the picture in the article and reading that her brother slapped her in the face for giving her toddler alcohol, I have just one question. Was that picture taken before or after she was hit in the face?

Definitely after...that face has seen many a slap.
 
2011-11-20 12:34:59 AM
Are you kidding, subby? She clearly deserved to get slapped. Babies should only be given bourbon, that frou-frou shiat will turn them gay. Also, Ye gods what an ugly woman.
 
2011-11-20 12:37:07 AM
Haiti.

/called it
 
2011-11-20 12:47:28 AM
I bet he would have been in more trouble it he hadn't slapped that ..... woman ... for giving a toddler a drink of alcohol
 
2011-11-20 12:49:31 AM
All right, first and foremost, you farking prudes, your average god dman alcopop has 2-3% alcohol. That is not enough, from my experience, to get a god damn baby drunk. Now I don't know where you harelips were raised, but it ain't a farking party until the whole god damn family tree is puking, that's down from great-great-grandma top great-grandma to grandma to aunt Cherrie to grandma Gene to Mama and Daddy. And you can make all the god damn fun you like, if it makes you feel like your some big god damn son of a biatch, but we ain't hurtin nobody. And I'd rather be out raising hell than gettin raised in a hell like you fellers. And for the god damn record, fark you.
 
2011-11-20 12:54:42 AM
spentmiles: All right, first and foremost, you farking prudes, your average god dman alcopop has 2-3% alcohol. That is not enough, from my experience, to get a god damn baby drunk.

You have experience with getting babies drunk?
 
2011-11-20 12:57:43 AM
They still make wine coolers?
 
2011-11-20 01:01:50 AM
do they still make 2 liter bottles of Purple Passion?
 
2011-11-20 01:03:14 AM
CSB:

My friend Bob was stationed in Germany for awhile. During Oktoberfest, they took a trip to Munich to enjoy it. While there, a pair of German friends offered to care for their baby so he and his wife could enjoy themselves. They agreed, and many hours later, they met back up with the couple with the baby in the stroller. His bottle was full of a dark brown fizzy liquid.

"Hey, why are you giving my baby Coke? That's no good for him", he said.

"Oh," said the wife. "Not Coke. Beer! It makes him fat and healthy, and keeps him quiet. We do it all the time!"

Bob said he about blew a gasket.

/CSB
 
2011-11-20 01:09:48 AM
She should be killed point blank with a shotgun to the face
 
2011-11-20 01:12:49 AM
Nobody puts baby in a cooler.
 
2011-11-20 01:15:49 AM
So the baby daddy is actual in the story and involved with the kids life?



Hmmmm....
 
2011-11-20 01:18:33 AM
spentmiles: All right, first and foremost, you farking prudes, your average god dman alcopop has 2-3% alcohol. That is not enough, from my experience, to get a god damn baby drunk. Now I don't know where you harelips were raised, but it ain't a farking party until the whole god damn family tree is puking, that's down from great-great-grandma top great-grandma to grandma to aunt Cherrie to grandma Gene to Mama and Daddy. And you can make all the god damn fun you like, if it makes you feel like your some big god damn son of a biatch, but we ain't hurtin nobody. And I'd rather be out raising hell than gettin raised in a hell like you fellers. And for the god damn record, fark you.

...Either that's an awesome troll, or you're the woman FTFA...I really can't tell which.
 
2011-11-20 01:20:06 AM
never give your baby a sister. never slap a wine cooler.
 
2011-11-20 01:20:47 AM
Laqweeta
Rousheem

Slap their mama for giving them those names.
 
2011-11-20 01:20:47 AM
After consulting a BAC Calculator, a 25 lbs toddler would have a BAC of ~.08 after a half-pint of 3.2 beer. So, "some sips" wouldn't make them drunk, but it is nevertheless killing neurons at the point in life when most of the neuron connections are being made. Bad idea.

/I want to see an experiment seeing the effects of nootropics on children of young age.
 
2011-11-20 01:20:55 AM
www.firstcoastnews.com

Two letters that will mark this picture in your mind in a horrible way forever and you will not be able to forget them or think of them the same.

BJ


/sorry i had to share
 
2011-11-20 01:23:20 AM
lostsatellite: never give your baby a sister. never slap a wine cooler.

Why the fark not? It would take more than a gallon of it to give someone a good buzz. It's a joke.
 
2011-11-20 01:28:37 AM
La‛qweeta where is the baby's father?
 
2011-11-20 01:29:55 AM
It's not the first time someone got in trouble for "Hitting it". Except this time, "it" has apparently been hit frequently with things harder than a hand.
 
2011-11-20 01:31:59 AM
Where's the hell is Leroy Brown when you need him?
 
2011-11-20 01:36:37 AM
video man: lostsatellite: never give your baby a sister. never slap a wine cooler.

Why the fark not? It would take more than a gallon of it to give someone a good buzz. It's a joke.


Reminds me of a friend from high school who would be falling-down drunk after half a wine cooler. The best one was when she hung onto the bottle sitting on the coffee table as she slowly slid down to the floor like the bottle was the only thing keeping her from collapsing in a heap. "I'm just gonna stay here for a while. The air is thicker down here."
 
2011-11-20 01:40:12 AM
redly1: do they still make 2 liter bottles of Purple Passion?

No, Zima. Taste the sensation.

Lone Stranger: [www.firstcoastnews.com image 640x360]

Two letters that will mark this picture in your mind in a horrible way forever and you will not be able to forget them or think of them the same.

BJ

/sorry i had to share


Bastard.

wildcardjack: And never, ever slap your sister while your dick is in her mouth.

No, I just slap her arse while cornholing her.

/she likes it
//at least i think that's what she said
///with my brother's dick in her mouth
//window seat please
 
2011-11-20 01:46:57 AM
Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever. Oh yeah...don't drive on the railroad track.
 
2011-11-20 01:51:08 AM
drunk_bouncnbaloruber: Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever. Oh yeah...don't drive on the railroad track.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-11-20 01:56:28 AM
thumbnails.truveo.com

LAQUITA!!!!! LAQWEETA!!!!
 
2011-11-20 01:58:13 AM
fusillade762: Nobody puts baby in a cooler.

I'm going to have to lend that my +1. Mind you, my +1 is like some people's +1.2
 
2011-11-20 02:03:01 AM
drunk_bouncnbaloruber: Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever. Oh yeah...don't drive on the railroad track.

Do right. Go to work. Respect those who are above you.

/obscure?
//screw that, it's FARK.
 
2011-11-20 02:04:53 AM
KABOOM and sheeeee's OUTTA HERE!
 
2011-11-20 02:07:02 AM
libranoelrose: drunk_bouncnbaloruber: Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever. Oh yeah...don't drive on the railroad track.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]


Don't drive angry.
 
2011-11-20 02:09:05 AM
Never trust a man in a blue trench coat. Never drive a car when you're dead.
 
2011-11-20 02:18:01 AM
FTA

Police say they received a call from a woman requesting assistance around 10:15 p.m. The woman disconnected the phone call quickly.

When police called back, the woman stated there was "no emergency."


biatch is smooth.

And in her defence...

Alcohol does shut the little farkers up for a while - without also killing them.
 
2011-11-20 02:23:38 AM
TomD9938: biatch is smooth

lookiing at pics

// not sensing smooth
/ hope her child has a better life
 
2011-11-20 02:25:02 AM
spentmiles: Now I don't know where you harelips were raised, but it ain't a farking party until the whole god damn family tree is puking

2.bp.blogspot.com

Who wants chowder?
 
2011-11-20 02:38:38 AM
The guy was in the right. If I saw someone giving ALCOHOL to a BABY, I might rough them up a bit too.
 
2011-11-20 02:39:59 AM
Slartibartfaster: TomD9938: biatch is smooth

lookiing at pics

// not sensing smooth


content6.flixster.com

"She's just as God made her sir."
 
2011-11-20 02:51:41 AM
....slap the bag
 
2011-11-20 03:01:55 AM
I got Rick-Rolled by that headline until I re-read it.
 
2011-11-20 03:04:32 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-11-20 03:09:36 AM
I think that's a justifiable reason for a slappin.
 
2011-11-20 03:13:52 AM
Never put salt in your eyes.
 
2011-11-20 03:14:41 AM
buckler: drunk_bouncnbaloruber: Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever. Oh yeah...don't drive on the railroad track.

Do right. Go to work. Respect those who are above you.

/obscure?
//screw that, it's FARK.


Don't talk about fight club.
 
2011-11-20 03:29:16 AM
img856.imageshack.us
 
2011-11-20 03:31:22 AM
Never be rude to an Arab.
 
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