As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Turkeys can fly. Just not very well.

A whole holiday centered around a delicious, flightless bird?

Over in one. Thank you, Fark.

I know it's Christmas in the strip...

Matthew Keene: I know it's Christmas in the strip...

This is why vegans should be locked away for christmas

My little VFW post just gave away a dozen tasty, tasty birds to some lucky bingo players.

After 30 years, that episode is still one of the best sitcom episodes EVER!

DAR: Wild Turkeys can fly very well (we have a bunch living near us), domestic birds can't fly worth a shiat and shouldn't be thrown out of helicopters.

Domestic turkeys can't even mate, they're artificially inseminated. They used selective breeding to increase the breast meat to the point that the males are unable to mount the ladies.

Look, every year turkeys take center stage in November.
Every year there will be at least one turkey give-a-way story in November.
Every thread on that same story depends on and results in the same 30 year old gag being rehashed.

We can save valuable pr0n surfing time if you could build a yearly automated post for this story with the Les Nessman quote as the Weeners.

Here is Les, posing with his 5 Buckeye News-hawk awards!

/credit to JonnyBGoode in the bow tie thread from yesterday
//I hyphenated "News-hawk" because FF underlined it as one word...

redundantman: Look, every year turkeys take center stage in November.
Every year there will be at least one turkey give-a-way story in November.
Every thread on that same story depends on and results in the same 30 year old gag being rehashed.

We can save valuable pr0n surfing time if you could build a yearly automated post for this story with the Les Nessman quote as the Weeners.

So, judging by your handle you're happy,right?

up. Same with chickens. My buff Orphingtons are shait fliers

ok, i have for some time thought about raising a few chickens, and now knowing i can get some called Buff Orphingtons just sealed the deal.

leevis: Domestic turkeys can't even mate, they're artificially inseminated.

See? I've been doing them a service all along.

Former 4-H poultry club member here, too (25 years ago). Loved our buff orphingtons, barred rocks, silver-laced wyandottes! None of them were good fliers either, but my pyle bantam game chicken (a family pet who followed us around like a puppy) would perch in trees sometimes.

Here is "Cliff" (named for the Cheers character) at the Elkhart County (IN) 4-H Fair's chicken flying contest in 1986, flying out into the contest area, then saying, "To Hell with this!" and flying backward for negative yardage:



The Master of Ceremonies? The Colonel Sanders himself! (Or is that Bob Evans? I can't remember. Looks like the Colonel...)



And finally, because I have a sense of humor, here is Cliff perched on my shoulder that day. Yes, it is correct: I would not have sex in high school.

It is Buffalo. Don't expect them to get it right.

Interesting enough, they gave the turkeys away at the Eastern Hills Mall in Clarence, a suburb of Buffalo NY where most of the local 1%ers live. I see nothing cool about this. Just another regular publicity thing for a radio station I guess.


/From Buffalo
//can buy my own turkey, thanks
///Might smoke a brisket instead this year cuz why not?

leevis: DAR: Wild Turkeys can fly very well (we have a bunch living near us), domestic birds can't fly worth a shiat and shouldn't be thrown out of helicopters.

Domestic turkeys can't even mate, they're artificially inseminated. They used selective breeding to increase the breast meat to the point that the males are unable to mount the ladies.

Giggity

Came for hot pics of Bailey, leaving disappointed.

in Cincinnaaaaaaati.

leevis: Domestic turkeys can't even mate, they're artificially inseminated. They used selective breeding to increase the breast meat to the point that the males are unable to mount the ladies.

Sounds like they're engaging in selective breeding at Science Fiction conventions too...

As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry.

They don't make TV shows like that anymore. I miss WKRP & Night Court soooo much.

//they would have been cancelled after one show nowadays, with the ratings struggle they had

How the hell big is your family that you would need 50 turkeys for thanksgiving?!

Funny enough, it wasn't just a tv sitcom gag. WQXI found out the hard way that turkeys can't fly.

Wiki Poppi (new window)

The story wins the Buckeye Newshawk Award .