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(Forbes)   Think the zombie apocalypse is as bad as things can get? Any second now the global coffee supply is going run out. Submitter will be in his bunker brewing hoarded espresso   (forbes.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, espressos  
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13913 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2011 at 1:16 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-11-19 12:37:58 PM  
They still make redbull, right?
 
2011-11-19 12:54:09 PM  
How's that "Tea-Party" working out for you?
One lump or two?
 
2011-11-19 12:58:36 PM  
I may only have 1 year worth of food stored but I have 5 years worth of coffee beans vacuum sealed. It'll be like gold in the after times.
 
2011-11-19 01:11:15 PM  

GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored but I have 5 years worth of coffee beans vacuum sealed. It'll be like gold in the after times.


One of my favorite sorta-post-apocalyptic books (by Anne McCaffrey) involved human stranded on another planet making a guerrilla run back to Earth just to pick up coffee.

She clearly knows where people's priorities are.
 
2011-11-19 01:21:09 PM  
The end is... Zzzzzz...
 
2011-11-19 01:21:35 PM  

Rincewind53: GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored but I have 5 years worth of coffee beans vacuum sealed. It'll be like gold in the after times.

One of my favorite sorta-post-apocalyptic books (by Anne McCaffrey) involved human stranded on another planet making a guerrilla run back to Earth just to pick up coffee.

She clearly knows where people's priorities are.


I never much cared for McCaffrey, but that's a pretty damn good plot.

/I will stack the bodies of the dead around my bunker to protect my coffee.
//drinking Jamaican Blue Mountain right this moment.
 
2011-11-19 01:22:38 PM  
FTFA: "It's how I stay away in the mornings and it's what enables me to do my best work."

You need more coffee.


Also:
data.whicdn.com
 
2011-11-19 01:22:48 PM  

GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored


Do you really?
 
2011-11-19 01:23:38 PM  

OgreMagi: //drinking Jamaican Blue Mountain right this moment.


That's expensive... Like coffee will be any day now.
 
2011-11-19 01:24:31 PM  
Link (new window)

I thought this thread needed some Star Trek: Voyager.
 
2011-11-19 01:24:50 PM  

ThisNameSux: GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored

Do you really?


Yes I do..lol. It's a pretty bland store of staples but yes, I do. A nice big stash of various seeds as well.
 
2011-11-19 01:25:13 PM  
Hum don't like coffee, never have. I should by some unroasted beans and store them just to be a kill joy.
 
2011-11-19 01:25:50 PM  
cdn2.hark.com

"Now Jim won't be able to have a second cup of coffee at home."
 
2011-11-19 01:26:17 PM  
The answer is simple. It just involves a large enough mass grave to rebalance the supply.
 
2011-11-19 01:27:34 PM  
This may scare you just as badly - same thing with Chocolate with upcoming shortages.
 
2011-11-19 01:27:35 PM  

GaryPDX: ThisNameSux: GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored

Do you really?

Yes I do..lol. It's a pretty bland store of staples but yes, I do. A nice big stash of various seeds as well.


Probably wise. Most of those storing a year's worth of food don't do coffee.
 
2011-11-19 01:27:48 PM  
Uhm, i'/m not seeing why the coffee production regions wouldn't shift, not disappear as the author seems to suggest
 
2011-11-19 01:27:54 PM  
I've also heard that chocolate will cost as much as fine cavier
 
2011-11-19 01:28:35 PM  
FTA: "Repent! The End Of Cheap Coffee Is Nigh!"

Just as well that I don't like cheap coffee, then.
 
2011-11-19 01:30:55 PM  

exvaxman: This may scare you just as badly - same thing with Chocolate with upcoming shortages.


I am much more worried about a chocolate shortage than a coffee shortage!
 
2011-11-19 01:31:16 PM  

GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored...


Why am I not surprised.

The only three shows I've seen advocate/pitch for Armageddon food are Art Bell, Jim Baker, and Glenn Beck. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about what kind of people buy safety seeds.
 
2011-11-19 01:31:21 PM  

GaryPDX: Yes I do..lol. It's a pretty bland store of staples but yes, I do. A nice big stash of various seeds as well.


I always have 20~ pounds of green coffee beans on hand but you're on a whole other level.
 
2011-11-19 01:31:22 PM  

SwiftFox: Most of those storing a year's worth of food don't do coffee.


What are they? Morons?
 
2011-11-19 01:35:10 PM  
Coffee is disgusting, so this news doesn't bother me.
 
2011-11-19 01:35:23 PM  
I wanted to store a year's worth of coffee but some sonofabiatch outbid me for the Pontiac Silverdome.
 
2011-11-19 01:37:31 PM  
Was apocalypse spelled wrong a minute ago? Have I lost it? AM I PATIENT ZERO?
 
2011-11-19 01:37:41 PM  

natmar_76: Coffee is disgusting, so this news doesn't bother me.


www.tailofthesnake.com
//hotlinked
 
2011-11-19 01:39:00 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I wanted to store a year's worth of coffee but some sonofabiatch outbid me for the Pontiac Silverdome.


You should try picking up the astrodome, you could probably get it for cheap.

Bonus, Houston can import green coffee beans in bulk.
 
2011-11-19 01:39:16 PM  

basemetal: They still make redbull, right?


How about Water Joe?

Where does the caffeine come from in these other beverages?
 
2011-11-19 01:40:00 PM  
Off to go buy some Dunkin Donuts.
 
2011-11-19 01:40:19 PM  

WhoIsNotInMyKitchen: GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored...

Why am I not surprised.

The only three shows I've seen advocate/pitch for Armageddon food are Art Bell, Jim Baker, and Glenn Beck. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about what kind of people buy safety seeds.


I buy safety seeds too. You just never know.
/I blame Harvest Moon
 
2011-11-19 01:40:42 PM  
I never understood why people claim to enjoy something that I imagine tastes like the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement.

If you want a little buzz, there are more pleasant foods.
 
2011-11-19 01:43:51 PM  

natmar_76: I never understood why people claim to enjoy something that I imagine tastes like the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement.

If you want a little buzz, there are more pleasant foods.


The aroma, not the taste, makes the flavor of coffee. Based on taste alone coffee is universally bitter (unless you add cream and stuff, but that's just for Communists), but the aroma can be divine which makes the drinking enjoyable.
 
2011-11-19 01:44:17 PM  

loonatic112358: Uhm, i'/m not seeing why the coffee production regions wouldn't shift, not disappear as the author seems to suggest


As TFA put it, "mountains have tops."
 
2011-11-19 01:44:28 PM  

hasty ambush: Where does the caffeine come from in these other beverages?


It's a byproduct from meth labs.
 
2011-11-19 01:45:06 PM  

Barakku: The aroma, not the taste, makes the flavor of coffee. Based on taste alone coffee is universally bitter (unless you add cream and stuff, but that's just for Communists), but the aroma can be divine which makes the drinking enjoyable.


So just distill the aroma into a handy dandy food additive and put it in a cup of tea or something.
 
2011-11-19 01:45:15 PM  

natmar_76: I never understood why people claim to enjoy something that I imagine tastes like the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement.

If you want a little buzz, there are more pleasant foods.



So you have never tried coffee, but think it's disgusting anyways?
 
2011-11-19 01:45:48 PM  
SWEET. Second-age-of-Big-Agriculture, here Hawaii comes.

/could have fooled me, from the sheer number of coffee companies and sheer volume of coffee on the shelves around here
//but the point is, there's only one place in all of the USA that coffee will grow, and that's in Hawaii. The Kona region of Hawaii County is the most famous, of course, but small growers have been experimenting with growing coffee throughout the state. Just in time, looks like. We started by giving America its sugar rush...perhaps tomorrow we'll be its caffeine pusher.
 
2011-11-19 01:46:39 PM  

ThisNameSux: GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored

Do you really?


You can buy emergency food supplies at Costco these days. I think they have enough servings to feed one person for a month, but they have a shelf-life of 10 years, so if you have a large family and/or you're as paranoid as Gary you can buy several.
 
2011-11-19 01:47:35 PM  

Need Help Soonish: So you have never tried coffee, but think it's disgusting anyways?


Ok, Shooter McGavin.
 
2011-11-19 01:49:15 PM  

Need Help Soonish: natmar_76: I never understood why people claim to enjoy something that I imagine tastes like the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement.

If you want a little buzz, there are more pleasant foods.


So you have never tried coffee, but think it's disgusting anyways?


I've tried coffee, but I've never tried the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement, nor do I ever intend to.

/drinking a cup of English breakfast tea as I type this
 
2011-11-19 01:50:26 PM  

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: loonatic112358: Uhm, i'/m not seeing why the coffee production regions wouldn't shift, not disappear as the author seems to suggest

As TFA put it, "mountains have tops."


Why not move north/south?

Should I start growing coffee here in new england?
 
2011-11-19 01:51:55 PM  

anfrind: Need Help Soonish: natmar_76: I never understood why people claim to enjoy something that I imagine tastes like the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement.

If you want a little buzz, there are more pleasant foods.


So you have never tried coffee, but think it's disgusting anyways?

I've tried coffee, but I've never tried the last little sludgey bits of a long bowel movement, nor do I ever intend to.

/drinking a cup of English breakfast tea as I type this


Well, you should be more specific next time... this is fark after all :P
 
2011-11-19 01:52:51 PM  
Couldn't find a still shot:

"Also, we're out of coffee." (new window)

There is an Airplane! reference for EVERY occasion.
 
2011-11-19 01:54:46 PM  

natmar_76: Need Help Soonish: So you have never tried coffee, but think it's disgusting anyways?

Ok, Shooter McGavin.


i43.tinypic.com

///Hot?
 
2011-11-19 01:57:39 PM  

Buckney Gurre: SwiftFox: Most of those storing a year's worth of food don't do coffee.

What are they? Morons?


Mormons.
 
2011-11-19 01:59:29 PM  
I don't understand this irrational hatred of zombies. Is it really their fault they are dead? Why is it that whenever we see one we just assume they only want us for our brains? Could they not also appreciate a well toned set of abs? Are we so obsessed with stereotyping the undead that we fail to take into account their individual personalities?
 
2011-11-19 02:01:15 PM  

WhoIsNotInMyKitchen: GaryPDX: I may only have 1 year worth of food stored...

Why am I not surprised.

The only three shows I've seen advocate/pitch for Armageddon food are Art Bell, Jim Baker, and Glenn Beck. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about what kind of people buy safety seeds.


Funny, I don't listen to any of them. I watch the History, Science and Discovery channels quite a bit. Our food system is tenuous at best, it's just good practice to be prepared. Did you know the average city only has 72 hours of food on the store shelves? We have earthquakes and volcanoes around here, if the system breaks down for whatever reason, I won't need to panic.

Remember, it took FEMA 5 days to get water to the dome after Katrina. Three days without water can kill.
 
2011-11-19 02:04:22 PM  

GaryPDX: Yes I do..lol. It's a pretty bland store of staples but yes, I do. A nice big stash of various seeds as well.


Why?
 
2011-11-19 02:07:45 PM  
Trading firm buys a billion in cocoa beans:
Link (new window)
 
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