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(Slate) Obvious What happens when you don't talk to kids about sex: they learn everything from porn. And apparently, this is considered a bad thing   (slate.com) divider line 147
More: Obvious, Human sexual behavior, porn, sex education  
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13662 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2011 at 11:24 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



147 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-11-19 10:25:08 AM
When four men, a woman, a ball gag and a chicken love each other very much...
 
2011-11-19 10:36:32 AM
To me the Bang Bus is like the Library Mobile.
 
2011-11-19 11:26:29 AM
...and then I also say something funny!
 
2011-11-19 11:27:05 AM
Now no kid will want to be a cable repair guy when he grows up.
 
2011-11-19 11:27:09 AM
Learning from porn, men will treat women badly and women won't want sex at all.
 
2011-11-19 11:27:18 AM
No means Yes
Yes means Anal
 
2011-11-19 11:28:11 AM
I hate to say it but pr0n has become unwatchable.

All the choking, gagging, hair-pulling, lack of any attempt to pleasure each other and instead take pleasure is a little concerning if kiss are using this as their sex ed.
 
2011-11-19 11:29:04 AM
Hell, who else is gonna teach 'em? College assistant athletic coaches?
 
2011-11-19 11:29:23 AM
lohphat: I hate to say it but pr0n has become unwatchable.

All the choking, gagging, hair-pulling, lack of any attempt to pleasure each other and instead take pleasure is a little concerning if kiss are using this as their sex ed.


I think KISS already knows plenty about sex.
 
2011-11-19 11:29:35 AM
I'm pretty sure I've been watching too much porn. I was at the gas station the other day, and after the tank was full, I pulled the nozzle out and sprayed gas all over the windshield.
 
2011-11-19 11:30:45 AM
Who wants healthier outcomes for kids when they are breaking God's laws?

And Solange Knowles should be in porn.
 
2011-11-19 11:30:56 AM
Really. If you need lessons you should look into joining a cloister or monastery.
 
2011-11-19 11:31:35 AM
JerkStore: I'm pretty sure I've been watching too much porn. I was at the gas station the other day, and after the tank was full, I pulled the nozzle out and sprayed gas all over the windshield.

Coincidentally, when I go to the gas station, I spit on the gas tank before putting the nozzle in
 
2011-11-19 11:32:31 AM
My wife was brought up in a religious household. She learned the sexing from porn.

/I'm so happy.
 
2011-11-19 11:33:03 AM
What, you mean you don't have to ask permission before sticking it in her pooper....?

Damn you, porn, for lying to me all these years!
 
2011-11-19 11:34:25 AM
What happens when you don't talk to kids about sex: they learn everything from porn. And aparrently, this is considered a bad thing

Subby is Eartha Kitt?
 
2011-11-19 11:34:38 AM
Porn has lost it's power, it's no longer taboo, the scenes aren't as vivid any more and for the most part it relies solely on suspension of disbelief.

Porn died the moment people found out that they could make their own porn in the comfort of their own homes.
 
2011-11-19 11:35:21 AM
buntz: JerkStore: I'm pretty sure I've been watching too much porn. I was at the gas station the other day, and after the tank was full, I pulled the nozzle out and sprayed gas all over the windshield.

Coincidentally, when I go to the gas station, I spit on the gas tank before putting the nozzle in



coincidentally, me and 3-4 friends like to drive my car to the gas station, then jam gas nozzles into the gas tank, rear exhaust, air intake manifold....

/old joke is old, jerkstore
 
2011-11-19 11:35:33 AM
I attend a Burning man-inspired regional event twice a year where clothing is very much optional for attendees. When my son was a lot younger, we were okay with bringing him because after all bodies are just bodies, and in a non-sexual context there is nothing wrong with nudity. I always figured we'd stop taking him about the same he hit puberty, on the assumption that at that point that environment might be confusing and overwhelming to him.

However when it happened, I realized something; As a child of the internet age he was going to have no shortage of access to porn no matter how vigilant we might be as parents. And since that was so, I figured it might actually be a good thing to see ACTUAL naked women as opposed to the plastic enhanced, over-airbrushed variety you see in most porn. It might give him a better respect for real women and set him up for less disappointment in his own dating life
 
2011-11-19 11:35:41 AM
Trust me kids, most women are not a fan of you slapping them in the face with your penis.
 
2011-11-19 11:35:52 AM
Ironically, it'd prevent a whole lot of pregnancies once those kids learn that facials are the happiest ending.
 
2011-11-19 11:36:10 AM
My wife and I are trying to find some quality porn but not having any success. The stuff that exists out there is terrible. ! billion variations on the standard terrible formula. I suppose amateur may be better, im tired of Jackhammer sex and 'moneyshots'. The closest thing I saw to good porn had a 5 minute sequence of a woman who knew how to move just walking to the bedroom, no sex at the time, just someone who knew how to carry herself. That THAT stood out points to how terrible the porn that exists out there is.

So for tye love of good sex, please don't learn from porn.
 
2011-11-19 11:39:54 AM
no no no. My snow flakes innocence of body AND mind will remain intact until marriage at age 40
 
2011-11-19 11:39:54 AM
I learned all my strokes and lines from porn. I never get laid.

I also learned from porn that assholes are clean.


/Watch "Daves Old Porn" on showtime. All the body hair and laughs you handle!
 
2011-11-19 11:39:54 AM
As a Mom, allow me to say...

Teaching your kids about responsible sex is important. There should not be "A Sex Talk" when the kid is just hitting puberty, and then never talk about it again.

It should be an age appropriate dialogue that you keep going as they get older. Teach them the biology of sex first (Baby forming and all that) and then, as they get older, make sure they are getting REAL, INFORMED information about safe sex, STDs and how to not be the victims of sexual abuse.

Don't demonise sex, it only makes them want to do it more, and be more likely to engage in risky sex with no protection.

As an aside.... Most porn sex is lame. Those positions are for show, not for feeling great... Add in to that the girls with there fake orgasms, and the dudes with NO rhythm.... It's visually appealing sex for the viewer, but is lame as hell for the participants. Good sex starts with a healthy attitude, a knowledge of your own body, and realistic ideas of what sex actually looks like. Give the buggers a copy of the Kama Sutra or something if your worried about there *pleasure.*
 
2011-11-19 11:40:42 AM
kim jong-un: My wife and I are trying to find some quality porn

"Porn" is a broad category... and "quality" is subjective.
 
2011-11-19 11:41:38 AM
If my mother ever talked to me about sex I think I'd be scarred for life.
 
2011-11-19 11:41:55 AM
queezyweezel: Trust me kids, most women are not a fan of you slapping them in the face with your penis.

Try a little tenderness. If she's bruised and dazed, you're doing it wrong.
 
2011-11-19 11:42:11 AM
queezyweezel: Trust me kids, most women are not a fan of you slapping them in the face with your penis.

Experience tells me otherwise. Treat them to it once and they'll ask for it later.
 
2011-11-19 11:43:54 AM
So, let me get this right..... when you treat people like human beings instead of precious little snowflakes they grow up normal?
 
2011-11-19 11:46:36 AM
I learned about sex from playing barbies with my older sister. When Ken went missing, I learned about lesbians.
 
2011-11-19 11:46:42 AM
Wasn't it yesterday that there was a FASCINATING six-page article off of Fark about some teacher in Pennsylvania teaching a really amazingly comprehensive Sex Ed class? He went from self-respect right to female ejaculation, without glossing over the important stuff. I was enchanted... And depressed I'll never see that kind of quality education in my neck 'o the woods.
 
2011-11-19 11:46:58 AM
Porn sex is bad sex, it's just for show.
 
2011-11-19 11:47:37 AM
Need Help Soonish: As an aside.... Most porn sex is lame. Those positions are for show, not for feeling great... Add in to that the girls with there fake orgasms, and the dudes with NO rhythm.... It's visually appealing sex for the viewer, but is lame as hell for the participants.

So much THIS. It's about the camera being able to get the in-and-out shot, not pleasure.

And it's the reason why the only time you ever see a woman really getting off in porn is when she's solo.
 
2011-11-19 11:49:02 AM
Found it: Here (new window)

The argument that's made for it is pretty much the one being made here: Porn is just about the most HORRIBLE way for people to learn about sex, relationships, body image, respect, the list goes on.
 
2011-11-19 11:49:30 AM
Talking about sex is like trying to start a fire with water.
 
2011-11-19 11:52:05 AM
Porous Horace: queezyweezel: Trust me kids, most women are not a fan of you slapping them in the face with your penis.

Experience tells me otherwise. Treat them to it once and they'll ask for it later.


Same goes for anal. I talked the SO into it, now she loves to do it "the other way." I pull out and release on her back, I call it "Skunking"
 
2011-11-19 11:53:17 AM
queezyweezel: Trust me kids, most women are not a fan of you slapping them in the face with your penis.

Well, if you stand far enough away that they can't smell your belly-button lint it helps.

What do you mean, you can't? Look all you need to do is...Oh.

Sorry.
 
2011-11-19 11:54:15 AM
How will they ever learn how to fix the cable?
 
2011-11-19 11:54:29 AM
queezyweezel: Trust me kids, most women are not a fan of you slapping them in the face with your penis.

You know, I broke up with my special ladyfriend, and started going out to a trendier part of town and meeting younger women. I thought I was fairly open sexually, I am not. They were all very, very dirty, and these are girls I didn't take home on the first night, had decent jobs, and looked nice. I'm not complaining, but I was a little taken aback.
 
2011-11-19 11:55:55 AM
MBooda: Talking about sex is like trying to start a fire with water.

www.movieposter.com

It could happen.
 
2011-11-19 11:56:45 AM
Undress...foreplay...lick...lick...POUND...POUND...POUND...POUND...POU ND...POUND...POUND...POUND...POUND...withdrawal...release
 
2011-11-19 11:57:18 AM
zs1.smbc-comics.com
 
2011-11-19 11:57:46 AM
I only like the scenes where the camera is so close to the penetration that it looks like someone is cleaning out a mullosk with a bratwurst.
 
2011-11-19 11:59:03 AM
Learning everything you know about sex from porn makes you a shiatty lover. Or at least it made my ex a shiatty lover.
 
2011-11-19 11:59:17 AM
Actually, that was pretty close to the truth for me. That opening scene in American Pie, looking at porn through the TV's scrambled signals? That's how it was for me.
 
2011-11-19 12:00:17 PM
I learned nothing from my parents and almost everything from school sex ed (very comprehensive, although alarmingly high on graphic pictures of childbirth and STDs), Google, and Dan Savage. And thank god I had experts on my side.
 
2011-11-19 12:03:39 PM
Porn as sex-ed works about as well as romance novels as relationship guide.
 
2011-11-19 12:04:08 PM
spentmiles: I only like the scenes where the camera is so close to the penetration that it looks like someone is cleaning out a mullosk with a bratwurst.

Egh... I watch a lot of gay porn because you can see that the guys are really, REALLY into it... and the guys are always hot looking too.

Lesbo porn is always a wash... the really fake lesbo porn pissed me off due to the lack of interest in the girls.

And most straight pron makes me yell at the computer. "NOOO!!! Dammit, your ruining a good position with your ramming and non rhythm! WHY ARE YOU SPITTING ON HER! Cant you make her wet? Gods your ugly!"
 
2011-11-19 12:05:30 PM
Creidiki: Porn as sex-ed works about as well as romance novels as relationship guide.

So if the men are learning from porn and the women from romance novels ... uh, no wonder we're messed up? I suppose it can be amusing when the two concepts meet head-on.
 
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