In before the inevitable "gym in 26 minutes" beer douchery begins.

/Only drink microbrews on special occasions.
//"Everyday" beer is High-Life
///Yes, yes. Warm piss etc etc.

It's beer. Provided it isn't brewed by one of the conglomerates, it's all good. Every argument is just a matter of taste. Me, I hate wheat beers and think Fat Tire sucks. But lots of people like them and are welcome to them without me being an asshole about it.

Heineken?

Link (new window)

How long until this thread turns into pics of obscure beers and the phrase "all I ever drink".

What's so pretentious about drinking Heineken? Carlsberg, Heineken, Kronenbourg 1664, Stella Artois, etc. are common as muck in British / Irish pubs. Literally nothing special about them at all. And I daresay if you flipped the labels on the pumps or the glasses they were served in 9 out of 10 people wouldn't be able to tell the difference either.

stuhayes2010: How long until this thread turns into pics of obscure beers and the phrase "all I ever drink".

About 20 minutes before the snobs say American/Belgium/German/British are the best in the world and everything else is bilge water.

Drink what you enjoy and try everything at least once.

/American beer
//Love in a canoe
///close to water etc

1) That's stupid, and if anyone does that, they are stupid.

2) See 1.

3) There are some legitimate criticisms, particularly when it comes to brown bottles. Though, often, the beer itself is part of the problem, green and clear bottles are far worse for beer than brown bottles and "skunky" beer is absolutely not a myth, particularly at stores with open refrigerators under very, very bright lights or in small markets that get direct sunlight on the refrigerators. As for the can debate, most people cannot taste the difference, and it usually boils down to the eye tricking the mind - in fact, in some cases, beer is BETTER from the can than the bottle (see: some green bottle beers, Guinness Draught in the US [though not necessarily "because" of the can], and others).

4) Who cares? If you're a true snob, you'd spend time talking about the amazing American beers you've consumed, because they are just better. fark you, Europe. fark you in the ass.
OR: See 1.

5) See 1.

Of course, per can/bottle debate, I simply mean if one receives beer that is properly transferred from manufacturer to distributor to retailer to consumer. A bottle will "keep" beer better than a can due to the properties of the glass (versus incredibly thin aluminum cans).

Anyone who drinks craft beer also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Ride a bike to work wearing spandex stretch trousers
3. Watch Japanese cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and make pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac

drxym: What's so pretentious about drinking Heineken?

Heineken and Corona are the Tim Tebow of beers.
Stella is the Michael Vick, sans the dog thing.

drxym: What's so pretentious about drinking Heineken? Carlsberg, Heineken, Kronenbourg 1664, Stella Artois, etc. are common as muck in British / Irish pubs. Literally nothing special about them at all. And I daresay if you flipped the labels on the pumps or the glasses they were served in 9 out of 10 people wouldn't be able to tell the difference either.

The stuff we get that is called Heineken/Carlsberg/Stella/Fosters etc is localy produced generic strong lager on an industrial scale. So if you get the home produced stuff it might be better than the swill we get served in pubs and sold in supermarkets.

alwaysjaded: And I'll be taking notes later. I travel a lot and always try the local beer. Luckily, we have a Spec's in Houston that's a warehouse and has beers from all over the place. Hopefully, I won't get too many that wind up tasting like worm rotted tree root and cab driver feet.

And this is my newest favorite that I'll be drinking today during football.

i881.photobucket.com

/ can't wait to start home brewing

You're welcome, if you haven't already seen it. (new window)

/Oregonian
//Deschutes and Rogue kick ass

KellyLockhart: stuhayes2010: How long until this thread turns into pics of obscure beers and the phrase "all I ever drink".

[www.the-forum.com image 432x350]

It's the best beer I've ever tasted.

/ And I've tasted a lot.

OBSCURE beers.

Anybody who drinks beer directly from a bottle is a Philistine. Those who drink good beer from a bottle is a pretentious douche.

// a glass lets you smell the beer which is usually a desired part of the experience.

letrole: Anyone who drinks craft beer also tends to:

1. Own a TV but haven't turned it on in years
2. Ride a bike to work wearing spandex stretch trousers
3. Watch Japanese cartoons on a Mac
4. Appreciate the warmth of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books at Starbucks
6. Claim to prefer girls with small breasts
7. Make snide remarks about Wal-Mart.
8. Walk past a smoker and make pretentious coughing noises
9. Take comfort in believing size doesn't matter
10. Feign disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac

I drink craft beer and the following apply to me:

1. Nope
2. Nope
3. Nope
4. Nope
5. Nope
6. I like boobs and don't descriminate
7. Yes
8. Nope
9. Nope
10. Nope

Last night i split a flight of beer with my wife consisting of the following.

St. Bernardus Abt 12
Left Hand Milk Stout
New Belgium 1554
Victory Donnybrook Stout
Southern Tier Creme Brulee Stout

but i will drink a 12 pack of bud light too.

alwaysjaded:
And this is my newest favorite that I'll be drinking today during football.

[i881.photobucket.com image 250x447]

/ can't wait to start home brewing

that looks... really good

The worst, it's written by a girl. A girl is calling you a beer snob, doucher.

Band-aid beer is caused by excess chlorine in the water or the presence of bleach from poor sanitation procedures. Anyone who knows that filtration would fix this is probably about a step away from being a pretentious beer douche in each of the categories.

I can't help but think that this article is the equivalent of a hipster getting mad because another hipster showed up to steal the spotlight.

KellyLockhart: Seen any Billy Beer lately?

/ just saying...

Just look around on the internet.
No, it's not "consumable" (well, I wouldn't), but it's far from hard to find.

Really I'm Black: that looks... really good

It is great.

I personally like Obsidian Stout a bit better, but to each his or her own.

The Abyss is supposed to be coming to a local store soon... I will be getting a bottle.

Sounds like it was written by someone with a can shoved up his ass and is just a bit angry about it.


/had my first Korean beer yesterday
//Hite
///add an S at the beginning

This dumb biatch doesn't know what she's talking about . . . she should stop blogging and make sammiches.

1) I sit next to the taps so I can read the handles and see what I'm going to have next. If you can't pronounce European names, that's cool--at least you're not ordering a Bud Light.

2) Drinking craft beer is about more than being "unique"--it's about supporting small businesses and enjoying small batch creations with character and complexity you can't find in mass-produced beers.

3) I criticize people who prefer quantity over quality; that's a concept people are supposed to move past once they get out of college . . . alcoholism isn't respectable in an adult.

4) I've never been to Europe--but I will go, and I'll talk about it for months just like anyone would a great vacation. Get over it.

5) I've been brewing for 10 years now, and I do give them awesome names and design/print labels for ones I give away. They are better than many of the beers I can get elsewhere--and I've got ribbons to prove it.

There's a difference between being a beer nerd and a beer snob; I'm the former.

Buddy of mine calls himself a beer snob. Reading this article, he doesn't even come close. His gift to all of his friends and drinking buddies is that he drinks a lot of beer, and a lot of different kinds. He's always happy to be a source of information to the rest of us by giving us his critiques of damned near every beer I've ever heard of. He's a good enough friend that he knows your taste in beer and makes recommendations accordingly. For example, he knows I like dark, heavy stouts in the winter and snappy IPAs in the summer heat and makes recommendations accordingly. He will answer any question when asked but only offers unsolicited suggestions if he's run across something he thinks you'd really enjoy. How he hasn't gotten a Nobel prize for something is beyond me. He does, however, have the undying appreciation of his friends.

alwaysjaded: I found it at Kroger's here in Houston so it can't be all that rare.

Wow, there's actually been a benefit of Kroger purchasing Fred Meyer, and apparently it's allowed for distribution of Deschutes beers to many places in Texas.

Rogue Brewery is holding themselves back, in my opinoon, because one of their worst lines of beer (and I mean that) is the only one that I know of that is "regularly" sold in 6-packs at larger supermarket chains. Their Chocolate Stouts are great (and Shakespeare Stout is as good as any in the world), but they only come in 22oz bottles for huge prices, and are not sold "everywhere."

1. You're a beer douche if you pace around the beer isle with indecision, trying to figure out what beer will reflect best on you at the party, also considering the awkwardness of bringing something someone already brought.

I walk past these Maroon 5 album owners, these Total Fark posters, and go straight for the



High quality, complex, and good bang for the buck at 7.2% ABV

oh, and they sell it at WalMart

2. You're a beer douche if you're the President of the United States and pick Bud Light at your first "beer summit" because that's what you call it, a beer summit, then wildly overcompensate by installing your own brewery at the White House which makes honey-themed brews. Please.

The best brew ever made

Well Done subby *Amber Bock Clap* Well Done..

Fark yeah Torpedo. Ranger IPA is also good and readily available, but if i want to wear my beer douche hat, i go to total wine and see if they have any Pliny the Elder. Good shiat bros.

Nope, not me. I'm a pretentious Whisky snob.

alwaysjaded: I'm going to write down a lot of those beers from that link you provided and head down to Spec's sometime today.

I haven't even looked, but I'm sure with further research you could more accurately reproduce the results. I used to work with guys who brewed a variety based on the Deschutes recipes, and I imagine some people know the complete processes if you're looking for the best comparable clone.

lurvenbrau? Fail.

alwaysjaded: stuhayes2010: How long until this thread turns into pics of obscure beers and the phrase "all I ever drink".

When Farkers wake up and drink their first ones to fight off the shakes.

And I'll be taking notes later. I travel a lot and always try the local beer. Luckily, we have a Spec's in Houston that's a warehouse and has beers from all over the place. Hopefully, I won't get too many that wind up tasting like worm rotted tree root and cab driver feet.

And this is my newest favorite that I'll be drinking today during football.

[i881.photobucket.com image 250x447]

/ can't wait to start home brewing

you'll be happy to know you can create beer just as tasty as that black butte porter at home.

/has a porter in the bucket right now.

0. I don't drink
1. Owns a TV card, but hasn't used it in years
2. Ride a bike to work not wearing spandex stretch trousers
3. My brother watches Japanese cartoons on a PC
4. Appreciate the low-tech-ness of vinyl phonograph records
5. Read books, but doesn't drink coffee
6. Prefers my girl with medium breasts
7. Makes snide remarks about Wal-Mart and other low cost stores. Only buys stuff there if I don't expect it to work as intended
8. Walk past a smoker and makes genuine coughing noises - if I get a throatful of the stuff
9. Take comfort in believing her compliments about my (average) size
10. Vegetarian disgust at the idea of eating a Big Mac
11. Lives in Europe

What do I win? (;

MaxSupernova: New Belgium 1554

Just caught this, and wanted to say that I feel that my aforementioned comment about Rogue stems from my opinion about New Belgium (though at least New Belgium sells a large variety of their beers even a few states away)...

I think Fat Tire is one of their worst beers, honestly. 1554, Mothership Wit, and others are far better.

puffy999: Of course, per can/bottle debate, I simply mean if one receives beer that is properly transferred from manufacturer to distributor to retailer to consumer. A bottle will "keep" beer better than a can due to the properties of the glass (versus incredibly thin aluminum cans).

Cans are lined with a polymer coating that decreases spoilage and inhibits the transfer of metallic taste. Supposedly.
They used to not be lined, therefore you'd get your daily requirement of aluminum from drinking beer. Not quite sure about the permeability of aluminum vs glass.

This "Jennn (can i hold down the 'n' key a little more?)" person is a troll. Or she knows very little about beer and someone let her post on a beer blog anyways.

1. Who cares if they mispronounce? It's not like they're from Belgium and mispronouncing the name of a Belgian beer. They will learn a name eventually if it's important.
You should be sitting by the taps to scout which beer you plan to drink next, not to be a pretentious twit.

2. Craft brewing is the natural progression from microbrews. If a craft brewer makes a tasty beer and has some business sense, they might make larger quantities, blurring the line between craft and microbrew. But, if you don't try a craft brew, you may never have another chance later down the line, and that would be a shame.

3. A 30 pack of cans is usually a 30 pack of shiate. Some stuff just isn't meant to be consumed, because it tastes nasty. Shiate comes in 12 packs as well, so be careful. The blog author, supposedly being informed since she's posting... I suppose she's just being sarcastic on this one. Brown bottles do prevent light from interacting and spoiling the beer (as much over time). Best to keep things in the dark, and then even clear bottles will stay okay.

4. Okay... I guess you can just do it wrong when being enthusiastic about visiting beer producing areas. You're probably a blathering idiot about other things as well.

5. I know a bartender, her name, coincidentally, is Jen(n?, but certainly not 3 n's), brings her homebrews to the bar she works at in order to share and get the rundown on how it tastes to others. Some of them are failures, and some of them are real nice.
Your homebrew isn't the greatest. But it certainly is special, since you've put the effort in to make something yourself. Be proud of it, but realize it just might not make the cut.