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(Short List)   30 inexplicably damning reviews for awesome movies. More Ebert can be expected   (shortlist.com) divider line 172
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11436 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Nov 2011 at 7:53 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-11-19 07:51:19 AM
I click on each one, and nothing happens.

Is it just me?
 
2011-11-19 07:55:30 AM
Big Lebowski is an unfunny overrated mess of a film with no plot to speak of, and very little in the way of jokes or humor. Just 2 hours of meandering, pointless dialog.

Fight Club is crappy pseudo-philosophical tripe that is neither entertaining nor thought provoking.

Blade Runner can be appreciated for being a hugely important and influential film and inspiring nearly every dystopian Sci-Fi film since, but as a movie itself it sucks.

Inception was just flat out nonsense, lacking a coherent plot or anything even remotely resembling interesting or engaging narrative. If I have to watch your film four times while taking extensive notes just to follow your story and have it make sense, then you've failed as a filmmaker.

Everything else on that list is gold.
 
2011-11-19 08:04:25 AM
"Schindler's List" is on there? Wow.
 
2011-11-19 08:05:14 AM
I loved most of the films on there, although I did find Inception to be somewhat of a disappointment, not terrible, just not as good as I thought it would be.
 
2011-11-19 08:05:23 AM
Huh...no Armond White. I'm surprised.
 
2011-11-19 08:14:09 AM
And yet we have fanboys drooling over Starship Troopers as being an awesome action movie...I was one of those...and then, upon repeated viewings, I realized that the director pulled a quick one on me...that it was actually purposefully filmed as a "propaganda" film for a fascist society. Vapid and lame actors yet pretty faces, heroic scenes, etc. Leni would be proud.

Sometimes a movie requires another look at.

/YMMV.
//Inception is DEFINITELY one of those movies that demands repeated viewings to enjoy the totality of it. And what's wrong with wanting to watch it again if you feel you didn't get it the "first" time?
 
2011-11-19 08:16:10 AM
LOL, someone shiat on "Schindler's List". I think that's illegal.

It's about time someone called "2001" out for the pretentious borefest it was.
 
2011-11-19 08:16:38 AM

spman: Big Lebowski is an unfunny overrated mess of a film with no plot to speak of, and very little in the way of jokes or humor. Just 2 hours of meandering, pointless dialog.

Fight Club is crappy pseudo-philosophical tripe that is neither entertaining nor thought provoking.

Blade Runner can be appreciated for being a hugely important and influential film and inspiring nearly every dystopian Sci-Fi film since, but as a movie itself it sucks.

Inception was just flat out nonsense, lacking a coherent plot or anything even remotely resembling interesting or engaging narrative. If I have to watch your film four times while taking extensive notes just to follow your story and have it make sense, then you've failed as a filmmaker.

Everything else on that list is gold.


emotibot.net
 
2011-11-19 08:19:18 AM

spman: Big Lebowski is an unfunny overrated mess of a film with no plot to speak of, and very little in the way of jokes or humor. Just 2 hours of meandering, pointless dialog.

Fight Club is crappy pseudo-philosophical tripe that is neither entertaining nor thought provoking.

Blade Runner can be appreciated for being a hugely important and influential film and inspiring nearly every dystopian Sci-Fi film since, but as a movie itself it sucks.

Inception was just flat out nonsense, lacking a coherent plot or anything even remotely resembling interesting or engaging narrative. If I have to watch your film four times while taking extensive notes just to follow your story and have it make sense, then you've failed as a filmmaker.

Everything else on that list is gold.


your post is bad and you should feel bad
 
2011-11-19 08:22:53 AM

Knight of the Woeful Countenance: spman: Big Lebowski is an unfunny overrated mess of a film with no plot to speak of, and very little in the way of jokes or humor. Just 2 hours of meandering, pointless dialog.

Fight Club is crappy pseudo-philosophical tripe that is neither entertaining nor thought provoking.

Blade Runner can be appreciated for being a hugely important and influential film and inspiring nearly every dystopian Sci-Fi film since, but as a movie itself it sucks.

Inception was just flat out nonsense, lacking a coherent plot or anything even remotely resembling interesting or engaging narrative. If I have to watch your film four times while taking extensive notes just to follow your story and have it make sense, then you've failed as a filmmaker.

Everything else on that list is gold.

your post is bad and you should feel bad


Was my post okay?
 
2011-11-19 08:26:01 AM
Actually the Airplane! review was spot on, the reviewer just didn't understand that the movie was SUPPOSED to be that way.

Way to get the joke, without actually getting the joke.
 
2011-11-19 08:27:15 AM
Mugato

It's about time someone called "2001" out for the pretentious borefest it was.

Yep. I'm a big fan of much of Stanley Kubrick's work & I had high hopes for it, but I just couldn't get into it. I thought it was beautifully filmed, and the sets were incredible, but as entertainment, it was like watching paint dry. So I'm with you.
 
2011-11-19 08:38:10 AM
The Matrix criticism was spot-on.

And Ebert wasn't the only one who ragged on Fight Club. I remember that the previews and the panning made me think the movie was something it was not, and bad. Nowadays I've got my own issues with Palahniuk's stuff, but Fincher did a great job with that.
 
2011-11-19 08:41:56 AM
Of the ones on the list I have seen I didn't like Fight Club, Inception , Trainspotting, Warriors, Goonies, 2001 and Blue Velvet
 
2011-11-19 08:42:36 AM
Well... Spartacus IS an uneven, spotty drama. It's what happens when you hire Kubrick and don't give him full creative control.
 
2011-11-19 08:49:41 AM

swahnhennessy: And Ebert wasn't the only one who ragged on Fight Club. I remember that the previews and the panning made me think the movie was something it was not, and bad. Nowadays I've got my own issues with Palahniuk's stuff, but Fincher did a great job with that.


That was one of the best parts of Fight Club. You went in thinking you were going to get one thing and boom something completely different. I walked out of the theater thinking that the critics were in on it. But quickly dismissed the idea, it would be like herding cats
 
2011-11-19 08:54:22 AM

DoBeDoBeDo: Actually the Airplane! review was spot on, the reviewer just didn't understand that the movie was SUPPOSED to be that way.

Way to get the joke, without actually getting the joke.


That's what I thought too. Airplane isn't so much the QUALITY of the jokes, it's the sheer quantity, and quantity has a quality all its own. Yes, some jokes suck, and yes, some are racist, but the whole thing is hilarity.
 
2011-11-19 08:57:50 AM
There's quite a few of those I downright didn't like myself. "Heat" was two hours of crap around a couple decent action sequences, "The Matrix" was just plain bad, derivative dated S.F. , "Jaws" had quite possibly the stupidest ending in cinema history, "Schindler's List" was a manipulative, sentimental mess( but you're not allowed to critcize holocaust movies made by Jewish folk), "Gladiator" was empty headed spectacle dragged down by stupid,stupid plot devices, "Requiem" was a shrill, preachy after school special. I actually only like about 8 of those listed.
 
2011-11-19 08:57:52 AM

Shostie: Well... Spartacus IS an uneven, spotty drama. It's what happens when you hire Kubrick and don't give him full creative control.


And 2001 is what happens when yo do, so, ya know, one way or another...
 
2011-11-19 08:58:32 AM

drewogatory: "Requiem" was a shrill, preachy after school special.


Um...I don't know too many after school specials that do ass-to-ass.
 
2011-11-19 09:00:57 AM
So, what you guys are saying is that different people have different opinions?

Huh.
 
2011-11-19 09:01:48 AM

Grables'Daughter: So, what you guys are saying is that different people have different opinions?

Huh.


THE HELL YOU SAY!
 
2011-11-19 09:07:35 AM
GONE WITH THE WIND
"Badly written...a bore" Arthur Schlesinger, The Atlantic


...pretty much, yeah. I'm a fan of old movies, but GWTW is incredibly overrated.

drewogatory: There's quite a few of those I downright didn't like myself. "Heat" was two hours of crap around a couple decent action sequences, "The Matrix" was just plain bad, derivative dated S.F. , "Jaws" had quite possibly the stupidest ending in cinema history, "Schindler's List" was a manipulative, sentimental mess( but you're not allowed to critcize holocaust movies made by Jewish folk), "Gladiator" was empty headed spectacle dragged down by stupid,stupid plot devices, "Requiem" was a shrill, preachy after school special. I actually only like about 8 of those listed.


The one thing that links all of those (otherwise disparate) movies is their fantastic cinematography. I suspect you are not a very visual person?
 
2011-11-19 09:11:54 AM

Gunther:

The one thing that links all of those (otherwise disparate) movies is their fantastic cinematography. I suspect you are not a very visual person?


This. I think a lot of people can't appreciate a movie for its artistic merits. If a plot doesn't entertain them the entire time they are bored and don't like it.
 
2011-11-19 09:14:21 AM

spman: Inception was just flat out nonsense, lacking a coherent plot or anything even remotely resembling interesting or engaging narrative. If I have to watch your film four times while taking extensive notes just to follow your story and have it make sense, then you've failed as a filmmaker.


I don't get how anyone could have difficulty follow Inception. I didn't love it, but it was easy to follow. The film is one-hundred percent straightforward, linear narrative.
 
2011-11-19 09:14:23 AM

Wretschko: And yet we have fanboys drooling over Starship Troopers as being an awesome action movie...I was one of those...and then, upon repeated viewings, I realized that the director pulled a quick one on me...that it was actually purposefully filmed as a "propaganda" film for a fascist society. Vapid and lame actors yet pretty faces, heroic scenes, etc. Leni would be proud.

Sometimes a movie requires another look at.

/YMMV.
//Inception is DEFINITELY one of those movies that demands repeated viewings to enjoy the totality of it. And what's wrong with wanting to watch it again if you feel you didn't get it the "first" time?


Verhoeven was doing a satire of a fascist society, just like Robocop was a satire of corporations.
 
2011-11-19 09:15:06 AM
The companion article of good reviews of bad movies is even better. (new window)

This one for the Clash of the Titans remage is just priceless:

"Leterrier certainly shows a better sense of meaningful, economic narrative than the mess that Peter Jackson made of the interminable, incoherent Lord of the Rings trilogy."
 
2011-11-19 09:16:38 AM

Wretschko: And yet we have fanboys drooling over Starship Troopers as being an awesome action movie...I was one of those...and then, upon repeated viewings, I realized that the director pulled a quick one on me...that it was actually purposefully filmed as a "propaganda" film for a fascist society. Vapid and lame actors yet pretty faces, heroic scenes, etc. Leni would be proud.

Sometimes a movie requires another look at.


Do you want to know more?
 
2011-11-19 09:26:35 AM

Gunther: GONE WITH THE WIND
"Badly written...a bore" Arthur Schlesinger, The Atlantic

...pretty much, yeah. I'm a fan of old movies, but GWTW is incredibly overrated.

drewogatory: There's quite a few of those I downright didn't like myself. "Heat" was two hours of crap around a couple decent action sequences, "The Matrix" was just plain bad, derivative dated S.F. , "Jaws" had quite possibly the stupidest ending in cinema history, "Schindler's List" was a manipulative, sentimental mess( but you're not allowed to critcize holocaust movies made by Jewish folk), "Gladiator" was empty headed spectacle dragged down by stupid,stupid plot devices, "Requiem" was a shrill, preachy after school special. I actually only like about 8 of those listed.

The one thing that links all of those (otherwise disparate) movies is their fantastic cinematography. I suspect you are not a very visual person?


Perhaps. I don't own a camera of any kind(never have), own no photographs or visual art of any kind actually. I'm pushing 50 and I've had blank, white walls in every place I've ever lived alone. My film tastes run more toward the avante garde though.
 
2011-11-19 09:29:40 AM

Wretschko: And yet we have fanboys drooling over Starship Troopers as being an awesome action movie...I was one of those...and then, upon repeated viewings, I realized that the director pulled a quick one on me...that it was actually purposefully filmed as a "propaganda" film for a fascist society. Vapid and lame actors yet pretty faces, heroic scenes, etc. Leni would be proud.


You know the book was a parody of a fascist society, right? It wasn't the director's idea to film it that way. Heinlein deserves some of the credit there, is all I'm saying.
 
2011-11-19 09:30:55 AM
The important thing is to completely ignore movie critics.

Who needs them?
 
2011-11-19 09:34:01 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2011-11-19 09:39:07 AM

PizzaJedi81: Grables'Daughter: So, what you guys are saying is that different people have different opinions?

Huh.

THE HELL YOU SAY!


That's just my opinion.
 
2011-11-19 09:40:58 AM
Schindler's List IS like a theme park ride about the Holocaust.

On rewatching, certain scenes haven't held up; the "I could have saved one more" seems awfully maudlin and ridiculous.

Not saying it isn't a great movie, though. Great score, great acting and characterizations, for the most part.
 
2011-11-19 09:41:25 AM

Shostie: Well... Spartacus IS an uneven, spotty drama. It's what happens when you hire Kubrick and don't give him full creative control.


Spartacus is what happens when you have an actor with the typical actor's ego essentially in charge of the production but who has no discernible talent as a producer or director and who is only making the film out of spite.

I actually like the film, but the review is spot on and the issues are largely Douglas' fault.
 
2011-11-19 09:46:44 AM

I like the Matrix, but I don't understand some of the criticism. It's derivative? Yea, that' what the Wachowskis were doing with all the kung fu and action scenes. But it hadn't been seen much by the general movie public. I think they did a great job with the special effects and action scenes.


And I didn't think the philosophy stuff in the movie was too overboard. Did you want the movie to actually go into explicit detail about it? It was just enough to add to the plot without taking away from it.


The thing that hasn't held up much (or that never made sense) is the "Humans as batteries" part. They're machines and they can't use nuclear energy? But I guess for a movie about the world not being real the Brothers chose a bad explanation.


Now Inception was overrated even more than the Matrix. Awesome special effects but Nolan did overdo it with the dream within a dream. Hell, his other films are better than Inception.

 
2011-11-19 09:46:53 AM

SharkTrager: Shostie: Well... Spartacus IS an uneven, spotty drama. It's what happens when you hire Kubrick and don't give him full creative control.

Spartacus is what happens when you have an actor with the typical actor's ego essentially in charge of the production but who has no discernible talent as a producer or director and who is only making the film out of spite.

I actually like the film, but the review is spot on and the issues are largely Douglas' fault.


Now that would be a great list: Films made out of spite.
 
2011-11-19 09:50:33 AM

drewogatory: There's quite a few of those I downright didn't like myself.


Wow, hating on Jaws, that's a new one. The ending? You'd probably like the book ending better, the shark just gets tired and dies. It was Spielberg's idea to blow it the fark up. I thought it was great. i loved Heat too, I think it's one of Pacino's best films.

I thought Fight Club was almost universally panned. Another favorite of mine. I thought the use of CGI was awesome when he was explaining the bomb and the virtual camera ran through the wiring of the stove. Not something people usually think of when they think CGI.

TRAINSPOTTING
"Full of repugnant junkies so unpleasant that I was hoping they'd all OD just so I could escape this torture test"


Um, I think that's what they were going for.

I never saw Gone with the Wind (and I'm supposed to be a film geek) so maybe I can ask this here. That shot of the guy carrying the girl kicking and screaming up the stairs....did he rape her? If so, that's not very nice.

Ebert hating on Die Hard was inexcusable.

Oh and I couldn't stand Goonies either. You may begin throwing the rotten eggs now.
 
2011-11-19 09:53:29 AM
I like most of the movies on that list and have very little disagreement with the lines from those reviews. The criticisms are by and large valid.
 
2011-11-19 09:55:38 AM

skinink: The thing that hasn't held up much (or that never made sense) is the "Humans as batteries" part. They're machines and they can't use nuclear energy? But I guess for a movie about the world not being real the Brothers chose a bad explanation


Actually, that wasn't the Wachowski "siblings" fault. Originally. the machines were using people's brains as a sort of serial processor, which makes a lot more sense. But some studio suit thought it was too high concept or something and we all know what happens when a studio executive interferes with the creative process. So they changed it to humans are batteries. Why didn't the machines just use cows instead of people if their body heat was all they needed? Ask the suit.
 
2011-11-19 09:56:52 AM
Airplane!
"Most of the jokes are groan-worthy, and some are downright racist."


That reviewer must not speak jive.
 
2011-11-19 09:57:07 AM
Another hate-on for The Matrix. Mostly because I saw it after seeing Dark City and was pissed off that Bros. Wachowski basically lifted that movie and got all the praise and money that the makers of Dark City should have.

And people who don't like Heat need to get an attention span. The only flaw in that movie is that DeNiro's love interest is way too pretty. She should have been a sort of pleasingly plump girl, the kind of girl who's pretty and smart but a little too flawed to get a second look in LA.
 
2011-11-19 10:00:50 AM
Wow, hating on Jaws, that's a new one. The ending? You'd probably like the book ending better, the shark just gets tired and dies.

I did like the book ending better actually. I think the shark sinking into the depths dragging Quint behind it is alot better than a ridiculous explosion that defies the laws of physics.I thought it was stupid when I was 12 and saw it in the theater and it ruined the entire film for me. I hate Spielberg and everything he's ever done though, except Raiders.
 
2011-11-19 10:09:44 AM

drewogatory: Wow, hating on Jaws, that's a new one. The ending? You'd probably like the book ending better, the shark just gets tired and dies.

I did like the book ending better actually. I think the shark sinking into the depths dragging Quint behind it is alot better than a ridiculous explosion that defies the laws of physics.I thought it was stupid when I was 12 and saw it in the theater and it ruined the entire film for me. I hate Spielberg and everything he's ever done though, except Raiders.


Hmm. Wow. Well, diff'rent strokes I suppose.

/what was so racist about "Airplane!"?
 
2011-11-19 10:12:41 AM
Oh great, another 30 icons that you have to click on individually. They somehow found a way to make a slideshow suck even more.
 
2011-11-19 10:15:45 AM

akula: DoBeDoBeDo: Actually the Airplane! review was spot on, the reviewer just didn't understand that the movie was SUPPOSED to be that way.

Way to get the joke, without actually getting the joke.

That's what I thought too. Airplane isn't so much the QUALITY of the jokes, it's the sheer quantity, and quantity has a quality all its own. Yes, some jokes suck, and yes, some are racist, but the whole thing is hilarity.


I love the movie cause its so bad... And the fact that the racist jokes were so over the top that it cant be considered racist. Its just that type of movie that makes fun of making fun of things in its own way.
 
2011-11-19 10:19:34 AM
The reviews of Alien and Inception were spot on correct. The reviewer of Airplane did not get the joke.
 
2011-11-19 10:19:52 AM

EnviroDude: Wretschko: And yet we have fanboys drooling over Starship Troopers as being an awesome action movie...I was one of those...and then, upon repeated viewings, I realized that the director pulled a quick one on me...that it was actually purposefully filmed as a "propaganda" film for a fascist society. Vapid and lame actors yet pretty faces, heroic scenes, etc. Leni would be proud.

Sometimes a movie requires another look at.

Do you want to know more?


About Dizzy or Carman... Yes please...
 
2011-11-19 10:28:22 AM
The theatrical cut of Blade Runner is not a great film and the ending is horrible. I would forgive any reviewer of this version. I would be curious to see what the same critic had to say about the significantly better directors cut.
 
2011-11-19 10:33:16 AM

DoBeDoBeDo: Actually the Airplane! review was spot on, the reviewer just didn't understand that the movie was SUPPOSED to be that way.

Way to get the joke, without actually getting the joke.


That's exactly what I thought after reading that review.

The review was spot on except for the fact that the groan worthy jokes and racism makes the movie great, not bad.
 
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