I'll bet I could clear an elevator faster than her handlers can.

Jessica Simpson clears the elevator

ewww, pregnant farts.

What a c*nt.

log_jammin: saw the woman making a bee-line for the lift in which she and her entourage stood. Simpson quickly made sure the door closed before the other woman could enter, said the witness.

histories greatest monster.

Shenanigans. I would have allowed the woman into the elevator, ripped an eye-watering SBD, then blamed it on her.

ultraholland: Jessica Simpson clears the elevator

ewww, pregnant farts.

My first thought.

once you guys beat my grandmas record of 6 foot perimeter of the subway you can go up against her i swear she shiated herself when she did that.

log_jammin: saw the woman making a bee-line for the lift in which she and her entourage stood. Simpson quickly made sure the door closed before the other woman could enter, said the witness.

histories greatest monster.

How did she make sure the door closed quickly? Don't they just close when they want to?

She's has a sad now that she isn't relevant anymore.

Also, aren't you supposed to not color your hair while pregnant?

Flint Ironstag: log_jammin: saw the woman making a bee-line for the lift in which she and her entourage stood. Simpson quickly made sure the door closed before the other woman could enter, said the witness.

histories greatest monster.

How did she make sure the door closed quickly? Don't they just close when they want to?

pretty much. the "door close" button generally doesn't do anything. although I read somewhere that if you press it at the same time as a floor number, it'd work and go directly to that floor without stopping.

...so that means when somebody cuts the cables and disables the emergency breaks there will be no innocent victims? Good to know, Operation Dumbo Drop is a GO!

Hmmm, self important coont, or just crazy?

Forget the pregnant farts, all she has to do is sing and that will clear any room full of people.

Bring in the next new thing, this one is used up.

The Onanist: Obligatory. (^)

WELL DONE.

/and I'll do you one better! (new window)
//As mathematically proven by El Chode the original just has one verse too many... though your video version edits it out

Simpson: Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says Chicken ... by the sea. Is that stupid?

[Long pause, with Lachey giving Simpson a dirty look]

Simpson: What? Don't make fun of me right now. I'm not in the mood.

Lachey: You act like you've never had tuna before.

Simpson: I've had tuna fish, like, sandwiches and stuff, like this.

Lachey: Baby, you and I have eaten tuna like this before.

Simpson: Why is it called "Chicken by the Sea" or "in the Sea"?

Lachey: "Chicken of the Sea" is the brand.

Simpson: Oh.

Two anonymous "sources." Okay.

Meh...I assume this is SOP for most celebs...last thing you want to do is be stuck in a confined space with someone hassling you for autographs, coke, etc. even with bodyguards there's only so much you can do.

too bad, I would love to go down on with her

She is not a snob, just fat and not enough room for others

I found the article from the sidebar about the mother-daughter underwear ad more... interesting.

ihatedumbpeople: Meh...I assume this is SOP for most celebs...last thing you want to do is be stuck in a confined space with someone hassling you for autographs, coke, etc. even with bodyguards there's only so much you can do.

Reminds me of a story when Sandra Bullock was shooting a movie in Austin. She and her cadre of assistants were about to take an elevator. Sandra saw a pregnant woman heading for the elevator as well. Realizing there wouldn't be enough room for her, Sandra had everyone get out, including herself, to use the stairs so the pregnant woman could ride the elevator by herself. So I guess Miss High and Mighty Sandra Bullock doesn't want to mingle with the commoners either.

Cyno01: fusillade762: ultraholland: Jessica Simpson clears the elevator

ewww, pregnant farts.

My first thought.

Same here, especially considering that if she plops her fat ass down on your toilet, you better get the plunger ready. She BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Employee of the Month" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain to save time. .

Good God

ihatedumbpeople: Meh...I assume this is SOP for most celebs...last thing you want to do is be stuck in a confined space with someone hassling you for autographs, coke, etc. even with bodyguards there's only so much you can do.

You're giving her WAY too much credit.

gunga galunga: ihatedumbpeople: Meh...I assume this is SOP for most celebs...last thing you want to do is be stuck in a confined space with someone hassling you for autographs, coke, etc. even with bodyguards there's only so much you can do.

Reminds me of a story when Sandra Bullock was shooting a movie in Austin. She and her cadre of assistants were about to take an elevator. Sandra saw a pregnant woman heading for the elevator as well. Realizing there wouldn't be enough room for her, Sandra had everyone get out, including herself, to use the stairs so the pregnant woman could ride the elevator by herself. So I guess Miss High and Mighty Sandra Bullock doesn't want to mingle with the commoners either.

I have this strange fear of getting on elevators with heavily pregnant women because I am always worried that the elevator will get stuck and the lady will go into labor.

FerneJohn: Two anonymous "sources." Okay.

EXACTLY. I can't stand Jessica Simpson, but this has all the credibility of a high school rumor.

"According to the insider, Simpson, who has been getting her locks colored by Hazan for years, saw the woman making a bee-line for the lift in which she and her entourage stood. Simpson quickly made sure the door closed before the other woman could enter, said the witness.

Another source says it's a well-known fact in the building that Simpson does not allow outside parties to ride in the elevator with her and her handlers "for privacy reasons." A spokeswoman for Simpson did not respond by deadline."

Braindeath: gunga galunga: ihatedumbpeople: Meh...I assume this is SOP for most celebs...last thing you want to do is be stuck in a confined space with someone hassling you for autographs, coke, etc. even with bodyguards there's only so much you can do.

Reminds me of a story when Sandra Bullock was shooting a movie in Austin. She and her cadre of assistants were about to take an elevator. Sandra saw a pregnant woman heading for the elevator as well. Realizing there wouldn't be enough room for her, Sandra had everyone get out, including herself, to use the stairs so the pregnant woman could ride the elevator by herself. So I guess Miss High and Mighty Sandra Bullock doesn't want to mingle with the commoners either.

I have this strange fear of getting on elevators with heavily pregnant women because I am always worried that the elevator will get stuck and the lady will go into labor.

This is a reasonable concern.

In all fairness to Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson *fans* are insufferable.

Why the hell does this woman rate an "entourage"?
One person to wheel the gravy boat around, another to keep the funnel clean?

omg bbq: Why the hell does this woman rate an "entourage"? = Dumb people with money attract hanger-ons

Jamdug!: Done in one.

Nope. 3 is better. And who's to say someone else won't come along with something better?

CSB:

Jessice Simpson was doing free concerts in shopping mall parking lots about 10 years ago.

When I was a freshman in college, summer of 2000, I worked at the Riverwood(?) Mall in Mankato, MN and Jessica Simpson gave a free concert in the parking lot. The mall manager had this really awesome weekend event, good sales, raffles for high $$$ value prizes, etc.,. Jessica Simpson was signed on to give a free concert and I guess this was before she got married to Nick Lachey(?). Not a single person knew who the fark she was and the question of the day was "Who's Jessica Simpson?" No one where I worked knew anything about her or could name a song she sings. Now I hear that Jessica Simpson is worth, no joke, hundreds of millions. Apparently, she's one of those rare celebrities, if you could ever call her that, that knows about finances or knows a really good accountant and/or investor.

Why is she still famous? Her singing career was kind of b-level, more people knew who Nick Lachey is as N'Sync was kind of popular back in the day, and her newlywed reality show wasn't that great or popular. Plus, she did two movies with Dane Cook and Johny Knoxville. WTF?!?!?!? Totally serious about her having real capitol, not the whole 'oh her clothing line could be worth millions' more like she actually has more than a hundred million. Guess that stupid buffalo wings commerical paid off.

*SIGH* WTF is wrong with the world that no talent morons make obscene money and I worry about how I'm going to pay for gas and groceries this week?

I am Wee Todd Ed: CSB:

Jessice Simpson was doing free concerts in shopping mall parking lots about 10 years ago.

When I was a freshman in college, summer of 2000, I worked at the Riverwood(?) Mall in Mankato, MN and Jessica Simpson gave a free concert in the parking lot. The mall manager had this really awesome weekend event, good sales, raffles for high $$$ value prizes, etc.,. Jessica Simpson was signed on to give a free concert and I guess this was before she got married to Nick Lachey(?). Not a single person knew who the fark she was and the question of the day was "Who's Jessica Simpson?" No one where I worked knew anything about her or could name a song she sings. Now I hear that Jessica Simpson is worth, no joke, hundreds of millions. Apparently, she's one of those rare celebrities, if you could ever call her that, that knows about finances or knows a really good accountant and/or investor.

Why is she still famous? Her singing career was kind of b-level, more people knew who Nick Lachey is as N'Sync was kind of popular back in the day, and her newlywed reality show wasn't that great or popular. Plus, she did two movies with Dane Cook and Johny Knoxville. WTF?!?!?!? Totally serious about her having real capitol, not the whole 'oh her clothing line could be worth millions' more like she actually has more than a hundred million. Guess that stupid buffalo wings commerical paid off.

*SIGH* WTF is wrong with the world that no talent morons make obscene money and I worry about how I'm going to pay for gas and groceries this week?

Because you spend time and energy enough to know all of the crap above?

That Magnificent Bastard!: I am Wee Todd Ed: CSB:

Jessice Simpson was doing free concerts in shopping mall parking lots about 10 years ago.

When I was a freshman in college, summer of 2000, I worked at the Riverwood(?) Mall in Mankato, MN and Jessica Simpson gave a free concert in the parking lot. The mall manager had this really awesome weekend event, good sales, raffles for high $$$ value prizes, etc.,. Jessica Simpson was signed on to give a free concert and I guess this was before she got married to Nick Lachey(?). Not a single person knew who the fark she was and the question of the day was "Who's Jessica Simpson?" No one where I worked knew anything about her or could name a song she sings. Now I hear that Jessica Simpson is worth, no joke, hundreds of millions. Apparently, she's one of those rare celebrities, if you could ever call her that, that knows about finances or knows a really good accountant and/or investor.

Why is she still famous? Her singing career was kind of b-level, more people knew who Nick Lachey is as N'Sync was kind of popular back in the day, and her newlywed reality show wasn't that great or popular. Plus, she did two movies with Dane Cook and Johny Knoxville. WTF?!?!?!? Totally serious about her having real capitol, not the whole 'oh her clothing line could be worth millions' more like she actually has more than a hundred million. Guess that stupid buffalo wings commerical paid off.

*SIGH* WTF is wrong with the world that no talent morons make obscene money and I worry about how I'm going to pay for gas and groceries this week?

Because you spend time and energy enough to know all of the crap above?

You're right but how I know what I know about stupid idiots such as The Jersey Shore, Kardashians, etc.,. makes me wonder where I get this info from.