lucky me, my girl is gonna drag me to one this friday. im farking dreading it.

things we do for love

Best part of the article is where a dude in the comments accidently watched the "Twinklight" video not realizing it would be a gay porno.

/"HA-HA"

Saw this at Best Buy. Not even kidding.

26. "The 25 most disturbing Twilight products" slideshow

bravian
26. "The 25 most disturbing Twilight products" slideshow

Hmm, that looks like the whole slideshow is in a JSON array.
Give me half an hour and I'll have added io9 support to the deslider thingee.

Well that was.... Yeah. Hm.

ohgodwhereismywirescrubbrush

Apparently Twinklight is the gay porno that caters to the smearing ketchup on coked up college boys fetish.

/or as I call it, Monday nights

Where's the authentic Twilight dildo? I think it has properties that help it to maintain a low temperature.

I seriously thought the "Twilight Sex Necklace" was a set of Edward and Bella anal beads until I scrolled down and read the description.

/shudder
//that's kind of hot

Wow i09 is slipping. Not only does Etsy not count as commercial products, but they also can't tell the difference between the location of the lower abdomen and a vag.

Twilight fans also would not be using a Fleshlight... at least not one looking like a woman's mouth.

Twilight glitter lube. No, you read that right. It's in the article. Glitter lube.

Why?

Twin 40s: Where's the authentic Twilight dildo? I think it has properties that help it to maintain a low temperature.

Couldn't you just fark yourself with an icicle?

U8D1EyedSnake: I seriously thought the "Twilight Sex Necklace" was a set of Edward and Bella anal beads until I scrolled down and read the description.

/shudder
//that's kind of hot

You're not the only one who thought that.

It's all just good fun. My youngest two play "Bella's wedding night" all the time. Sometimes I help them make a paper mache bed so they can destroy it while play-acting, and a little tissue paper, some fake blood and a cabbage patch doll and they can play the birth scene.

How does the sparkly douchebag sleep at night knowing that tweens and middle aged women are wearing his face on their crotch, sleeping with life sized pillows of him, and generally rubbing one out on his face on a daily basis? That's just creepy.

Coconut Tequila: How does the sparkly douchebag sleep at night knowing that tweens and middle aged women are wearing his face on their crotch, sleeping with life sized pillows of him, and generally rubbing one out on his face on a daily basis? That's just creepy.

The fat royalty checks probably help ease the pain.

Uh...what's up with the ashes? I asked my g/f and she said Jacob doesn't die.

Twin 40s: Where's the authentic Twilight dildo? I think it has properties that help it to maintain a low temperature.

Freeze a glass dildo. I love it when my wife...I mean my wife loves it when...nevermind.

/android autocorrect turns "dildo" into "foldout"

Mad_Radhu: Coconut Tequila: How does the sparkly douchebag sleep at night knowing that tweens and middle aged women are wearing his face on their crotch, sleeping with life sized pillows of him, and generally rubbing one out on his face on a daily basis? That's just creepy.

The fat royalty checks probably help ease the pain.

I really don't think they could throw enough money at me to get over the general unclean feeling.

Britney Spear's Speculum: Uh...what's up with the ashes? I asked my g/f and she said Jacob doesn't die.

Did a quick google... apparently the ashes really belong to Jacob from the tv series Lost? O_o

StrangeEmily: Did a quick google... apparently the ashes really belong to Jacob from the tv series Lost? O_o

ಠ_ಠ

Mad_Radhu: The fat royalty checks probably help ease the pain.

I can't really get past my utter distaste and general unease about anything Twilight-related but I do admit the sparkly vampire guy actor has done a lot to distance himself from it all, while still cashing in when he can. I have respect for that, even if I never want to shake his hand. Cause... ew.

1: e9c4223a51997cd8e1319339dd662ace.jpg [original slide here]
2: Breaking Dawn Baking Dish [original slide here]
3: Breaking Dawn My Little Pony Wedding Set [original slide here]
4: Twilight Edward Wig [original slide here]
5: Team Charlie T-Shirt [original slide here]
6: Twilight Sex Necklace [original slide here]
7: Glow-In-The-Dark Edward Face Soap [original slide here]
8: Bella Inspired Deodorant [original slide here]
9: Cullen Car Cover [original slide here]
10: Any And All of The "Covered In Feathers" Merchandise [original slide here]
11: Glitter Lube [original slide here]
12: Bella Swan Diorama of Bella Playing Herself at Chess [original slide here]
13: Twilight Panty Party [original slide here]
14: Reusable Twilight Baby Diapers [original slide here]
15: Condom [original slide here]
16: Obsessive. Cullen. Disorder. [original slide here]
17: Cullen Flat Iron [original slide here]
18: Edward Body Pillows [original slide here]
19: Baby Renesmee [original slide here]
20: Edward Tampon Case [original slide here]
21: Imprinted Vagina T-Shirt [original slide here]
22: Twilight Embyos Ornaments [original slide here]
23: Edward Doll With Steve Buscemi Eyes [original slide here]
24: Jacob's Ashes! [original slide here]
25: Twilight Jeans [original slide here]
26: The World's Creepiest Twilight Pin [original slide here]
27: Twinklight [original slide here]
28: Vampire Fleshlight [original slide here]

Subby forgot the godawful books.

There's a sh*tload of creepy Twilight merchandise on cafepress.com. Maternity shirts alluding to a half-human, half-vampire unborn child in your womb are just the tip of the iceberg.

/Twilight fan.
//Wouldn't buy any of that stuff.

Surprised no one has mentioned The Vamp dildo. Don't have a link, but a google search Gould result in sufficient laughs.

jennyz: Saw this at Best Buy. Not even kidding.

[i582.photobucket.com image 640x480]

I've seen them there as well.

idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg

I feel like a worse human being for going through and looking at all of those.

Why do I do this to myself?

I will be honest, cannot wait for "Breaking Dawn", the Rifftrax will be EPIC!!!

/Line...

Freakin Rican: lucky me, my girl is gonna drag me to one this friday. im farking dreading it.

things we do for love

I would do anything for love

...But I won't do that

Freakin Rican: lucky me, my girl is gonna drag me to one this friday. im farking dreading it.

things we do for love

You think that's love? She's probably comparing you to a sparkling predator...and the predator is winning. Time to leave her, dude.

Earpj: Spoon over Marin: And then there's this

Link (new window)

$100 for that crap?!?

I'll say, and to think I feel guilty charging people forty dollars for my work.

Also, that's just a sentence fragment. It doesn't mean anything.

milkyshirt: Freakin Rican: lucky me, my girl is gonna drag me to one this friday. im farking dreading it.

things we do for love

I would do anything for love

...But I won't do that

No. No.

They actually missed the real horror of #21, the shirt with "Imprinted" and the paw mark. That's not a t-shirt with the paw on the mons pubis. That's a maternity shirt, and it's all about the baby-love. Words cannot even describe how gross this is.

i_got_no_strings: They actually missed the real horror of #21, the shirt with "Imprinted" and the paw mark. That's not a t-shirt with the paw on the mons pubis. That's a maternity shirt, and it's all about the baby-love. Words cannot even describe how gross this is.

Go on...

PonceAlyosha: Apparently Twinklight is the gay porno that caters to the smearing ketchup on coked up college boys fetish.

/or as I call it, Monday nights

I was over at my gay friends house, and I saw a burned copy of that on his desk. I asked what it was, and he said "It's a porno" so I stopped asking questions.

I wish I was still ignorant.