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(The Consumerist) Dumbass Japanese cook arrested after squirting sake into a two year-old's mouth. Thank God that's not a euphemism   (consumerist.com) divider line 58
More: Dumbass, Japanese, drinking ages, sake  
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6966 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2011 at 2:33 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



58 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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irockalot
2011-11-16 02:35:40 PM
WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
 
tomo12144
2011-11-16 02:36:43 PM
More saki, more hapy
 
hammettman
2011-11-16 02:38:17 PM
My name is Timmy. I poop my pants and I'm an alcoholic.
 
InOmnibusCaritas [TotalFark]
2011-11-16 02:39:44 PM
Anything to get the kid to shut the fark up, I say...

www.westchestermagazine.com

/Don't (and won't) have children.
 
Person
2011-11-16 02:42:11 PM
Parents need a farking life. He spit it out, it sounds accidental, and yet you run to farking police? What a bunch of pussies. Complain to the manager, sure, but it's not like he sat there and poured sake into his mouth.
 
Okieboy
2011-11-16 02:42:15 PM
Better than what Sandusky would like to squirt in a two year old boys mouth...


/amidointhisright?
 
TheGreatGazoo
2011-11-16 02:47:01 PM
My almost 2 year old is a complete spaz when she is sober. I'd hate to see what she would be like drunk.

I wonder if the police know they give 7 year olds wine at a lot of churches?
 
bloobeary [TotalFark]
2011-11-16 02:47:09 PM
If that kid had been me, my parents would called it learning experience, and it would become an anecdote to tell the relatives about. (Yeah, he learned not to lie about his age real quick.)
 
brigid_fitch [TotalFark]
2011-11-16 02:48:27 PM
Person: Parents need a farking life. He spit it out, it sounds accidental, and yet you run to farking police? What a bunch of pussies. Complain to the manager, sure, but it's not like he sat there and poured sake into his mouth.

Thank you! Writing to Consumerist is one thing--I expect the authors to be whiny helicopter parents there. But to run to the farking police because the hibachi cook screwed up? I can see this being an accident. I sprayed Silly String right into my nephew's eye once because I accidentally put too much pressure on the nozzle. Shiat happens. Your kid's not going to be scarred for life because he took a swallow of sake.

2-3 years from now, we're going to see a news story about how this kid now has autism and it's all because of that squirt of sake, not the fact that he's got pathetic parents who shelter him from every eventuality, real or imagined.
 
mooseyfate
2011-11-16 02:52:10 PM
I'm calling absolute bullshiat on this based solely on that "3-5 seconds" remark. Your average hibachi going adult wouldn't stay still for a solid 5 seconds of sake, let alone a child who was allegedly crying. Parents are just looking for easy money.
 
ihopOVERpancakes
2011-11-16 02:55:08 PM
Subby, your headline made me spit sake all over my keyboard.
 
katerbug72 [TotalFark]
2011-11-16 02:56:43 PM
I wouldn't be happy about it but I sure as hell wouldn't call the cops. Free dinner, please.
 
Hoblit
2011-11-16 03:02:24 PM
Why does everyone WANT to call the cops?

Cops should be a last resort always, pertinent to the situation.

This wasn't exactly ASSAULT or serving a minor to the degree that should warrent cops.
 
jn1512
2011-11-16 03:04:37 PM
Busakke?
 
some.old.lady. [TotalFark]
2011-11-16 03:04:42 PM
Oh.
For.
Goodness.
Sake.
 
garyg
2011-11-16 03:05:57 PM
He made a 2-yr old "cry?" Farking 2-yr olds cry about anything.
 
improvius
2011-11-16 03:13:38 PM
Wow, they called the cops? Must have been Gekkeikan.

/sake snob
 
poot_rootbeer
2011-11-16 03:15:26 PM
Sake right out of the still is no more than about 20% ethanol. Table sake is usually watered down to 10-15%, and I'd be surprised if the stuff in the Benihana squirt bottle isn't further adulterated down to the legal limit of being able to call it sake.

In other words, I don't believe the Consumerists' account of how it burned their pwecious babby's mouth.
 
Subtle Interplay
2011-11-16 03:22:14 PM
FTFA: The boy's mom says that early in the evening the cook jokingly asked if her young son was of legal drinking age but didn't actually give him any of the rice wine to drink - because that would be stupid.

But when he made a subsequent trip down the table for sake squirts, the mom says the cook asked the boy if he was 21 and when the boy replied "yes," the cook "squirted a mouthful of sake into his mouth."

What...did the two-year-old grow a beard and let his balls drop between the two sake rounds as to make the cook think he was of legal drinking age?

www.igglesblog.com
/hot like freshly-heated sake
//yum
 
masercot
2011-11-16 03:22:41 PM
Got drunk when I was two years old, drinking the beers that people had set down on the floor while they talked...

...and, I turned out just didn't have any problems later than okay?
 
ambercat
2011-11-16 03:23:35 PM
People used to rub alcohol on toddler's gums/give it to them when they were teething. I imagine this kid will manage to survive.
 
Walt_Jizzney
2011-11-16 03:27:13 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
mciann
2011-11-16 03:28:02 PM
Person: Parents need a farking life. He spit it out, it sounds accidental, and yet you run to farking police? What a bunch of pussies. Complain to the manager, sure, but it's not like he sat there and poured sake into his mouth.

10/10
 
tommylikewingy
2011-11-16 03:28:50 PM
Okieboy: Better than what Sandusky would like to squirt in a two year old boys mouth...


/amidointhisright?

thatsthejoke.jpg
 
Tomahawk513
2011-11-16 03:30:11 PM
On one hand, really?
But on the other hand, really?
 
slbegay
2011-11-16 03:32:53 PM
mooseyfate: I'm calling absolute bullshiat on this based solely on that "3-5 seconds" remark. Your average hibachi going adult wouldn't stay still for a solid 5 seconds of sake, let alone a child who was allegedly crying. Parents are just looking for easy money.

I beg to differ, just last week i went twenty seconds of the squirt..

It's all about how you swallow during the process.

(we go often and are excellent tippers, so they remember us well)
 
MBooda
2011-11-16 03:34:03 PM
Buk-Sake?
 
cuzsis
2011-11-16 03:34:45 PM
bloobeary: If that kid had been me, my parents would called it learning experience, and it would become an anecdote to tell the relatives about. (Yeah, he learned not to lie about his age real quick.)

This.

They ran to the *police*? That's pathetic.

And based on the cooks account, I'm more inclined to believe it was an accident. He didn't give him any earlier, it's unlikely he meant to do it this time (unless he's got a history of mental illness or something.)

Now, if it was an accident he should've appologized right away. Given the family tickets to a free meal. Problem solved! But restaurants don't always think well "on their feet" so to speak.

/this kid learned young why you don't troll.
 
UltimaCS
2011-11-16 04:03:46 PM
Well, sounds like the boy learned the inevitable and valuable lesson that alcohol tastes like shiat.
I got my lesson at around 5 years old, trying to take a sip of pop's "apple juice".
 
KrispyKritter
2011-11-16 04:36:23 PM
kan pei
 
mcwehrle
2011-11-16 04:40:12 PM
Seriously? If *if* we can believe the "eye witness" of "3-5 seconds" of squirting sakke....

where the FARK were the parents? As a below average parent in my day, it still would take me about 0.15 seconds to realize what was happening and bat the bottle away.

I call total bullshiat.
 
MythDragon
2011-11-16 04:40:36 PM
There is worse things the chef could have put in the kid's mouth:
cache.gawker.com
 
ProfessorOhki
2011-11-16 04:45:42 PM
Anyone who takes a 2 year old to a restaurant more upscale than Denny's or IHOP should be the one being charged.
 
Resident Muslim
2011-11-16 04:46:29 PM
UltimaCS: Well, sounds like the boy learned the inevitable and valuable lesson that alcohol tastes like shiat.
I got my lesson at around 5 years old, trying to take a sip of pop's "apple juice".

Human beings naturally have an aversion to fruit that has 'gone bad', so yeah the natural reaction to the smell/taste is repulsion (or am I thinking revulsion. Not enough sleep)

So it is an acquired taste...meaning it tastes awful but I do it because others are doing it (and/or it gets me drunk).

Not really trolling.
Just remember reading a verse in the Quran that describes heaven as having liquor that is tasty to the drinker, and thinking straight up liquor probably doesn't taste good.
 
mooseyfate
2011-11-16 04:49:55 PM
slbegay: mooseyfate: I'm calling absolute bullshiat on this based solely on that "3-5 seconds" remark. Your average hibachi going adult wouldn't stay still for a solid 5 seconds of sake, let alone a child who was allegedly crying. Parents are just looking for easy money.

I beg to differ, just last week i went twenty seconds of the squirt..

It's all about how you swallow during the process.

(we go often and are excellent tippers, so they remember us well)

That's great. How many thirty second busake sessions did your neighbors at the other tables have? My guess would be far less than 5 seconds.
 
Resident Muslim
2011-11-16 04:50:06 PM
And if this really happened (as opposed to parents wanting to cash out) I'd guess the cook was hitting the Sake himself.
 
PsiChi
2011-11-16 04:51:58 PM
Subby, seek help, for the good of the planet.

/Yes, it's that bad.
 
LoneVVolf
2011-11-16 05:02:58 PM
TheGreatGazoo: I wonder if the police know they give 7 year olds wine at a lot of churches?

Wine is pretty low on the list of dangers to a 7 year-old at church...
 
mikefinch
2011-11-16 05:36:49 PM
Resident Muslim: Not really trolling.
Just remember reading a verse in the Quran that describes heaven as having liquor that is tasty to the drinker, and thinking straight up liquor probably doesn't taste good.


My friends the liqueurs would like to have a word with you. Baileys, Amaretto...

We are averse to fruit gone bad yes -- but booze isn't exactly spoiled fruit. Wine smells waaaay different than a box of grape juice that got left in the sun. Children are averse to many strong flavours that they find enjoyable later in life.

Onions, olives, mushrooms, garlic, cabbage or broccoli, horseradish, rare beef, -- these are all flavours that kids commonly are disgusted by.

The tongue ages and matures -- beer might taste a bit wonky when your 6 but once your 20 its flavor is preferable over any number of sweeter soft drinks.
 
topcon
2011-11-16 05:48:17 PM
He was reprimanded a year ago for putting pee-pee in someone's Coke.
 
elev8meL8r
2011-11-16 05:48:22 PM
ProfessorOhki: Anyone who takes a 2 year old to a restaurant more upscale than Denny's or IHOP should be the one being charged.

Frankly, I think IHOP is pushing it.
 
Jewronimo
2011-11-16 05:51:01 PM
Cytherea is not impressed.
 
WillyChase
2011-11-16 06:40:06 PM
LoneVVolf: TheGreatGazoo: I wonder if the police know they give 7 year olds wine at a lot of churches?

Wine is pretty low on the list of dangers to a 7 year-old at church...

We have a winner
 
WillyChase
2011-11-16 06:40:56 PM
Jewronimo: Cytherea is not impressed.

oh god why did you...

/fap fap fap
 
I agree with you
2011-11-16 06:50:50 PM
Parents are just pissed they did not get a shot of sake the way the kid did
 
penthesilea [TotalFark]
2011-11-16 06:56:21 PM
InOmnibusCaritas: Anything to get the kid to shut the fark up, I say...

[Benadryl Pic]

/Don't (and won't) have children.

Bad idea since it will likely make them bouncy. Tired, cranky and bouncy.

i470.photobucket.com
 
scrufalupagus
2011-11-16 07:24:53 PM
over zealous tentacle, non stoli
 
Tiiba
2011-11-16 07:26:53 PM
I agree with you: Parents are just pissed they did not get a shot of sake the way the kid did

It sounds like they did, actually.
 
Britney Spear's Speculum
2011-11-16 07:28:39 PM
This didn't go over well with the boy, who spit out the sake, started crying and complained of a burning mouth.

Who hasn't done this after trying sake?
 
Britney Spear's Speculum
2011-11-16 07:30:12 PM
Jewronimo: Cytherea is not impressed.

Have you seen the one of her pregnant? That one's pretty hot.
 
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