That's why I always employ a pre-vent defense.

let's see how the county jail soots this young man

First, start a fire in the chimney.....THEN call the cops!!!

\Priorities people, priorities

We have to sweep these kinds of characters out of society.

Minimally Hairy Beer-Powered Simian: First, start a fire in the chimney.....THEN call the cops!!!

\Priorities people, priorities

Excellent idea!

I submitted this story from a different source, mentioning the kid realizes he is not Santa Claus. Oh well, but still a very amusing story.

What an ash hole.

Headlines like this make the "Looney Tunes" theme rocket through my brain. Well done, my good subby, well done.

THE CHIMNEY SONG
Bob Rivers Comedy Corp.


There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all night long.
Well, I waited up for Santa all Christmas night
But he never came and it don't seem right.
And there's something in the chimney
And it doesn't make a sound,
But I wish you Merry Christmas.

There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all week long.
Well, the dog keeps barking up the chimney flue
And we don't know what we're going to do.
Cause there's something in the chimney
And it doesn't move around,
And it's been a week since Christmas.

There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all month long.
Well, it's jammed up tight above the fireplace
Now the house smells funny, such a big disgrace.
That there's something in the chimney
And it doesn't talk at all,
And it's been there since last Christmas.

There's something stuck up in the chimney
And I don't know what it is,
But it's been there all year long.
I'll been waiting up for Santa like I did last year
But my brother says, "He's already here."
And he's stuck up in the chimney
And he doesn't say a word
And he'll be there every Christmas.
And we'll have him every Christmas.

+1 subby

Wow that white kid got awful dirty.

Awesome headline!

not impressed:

Finally, a better headline than mine.

/sucks to be me this time

I was going to ask something like "Who's so stupid that they think they can actually go down a chimney into a house," but I guess the story answered that question.

People so stupid they've never actually looked up into a chimney and seen all the metal shiat up in there blocking the opening.

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I was going to ask something like "Who's so stupid that they think they can actually go down a chimney into a house," but I guess the story answered that question.

People so stupid they've never actually looked up into a chimney and seen all the metal shiat up in there blocking the opening.

That's a damper, not to mention chimmeys have a smoke shelf - it doens't go straight up. just above the damper the flue should bend back.

/once tried to shoot bottle rockets up my chimeny. Didn't work out very well.

Best. Mugshot. EVAR!!!

/blackface on black crime has got to stop!!!

No Grinch pictures or references, leaving disappointed.

garandman1a: No Grinch pictures or references, leaving disappointed.

He must have seen "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and thought it was a documentary.

Subby, your headline put a damper on my whole day.