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(CBS Chicago)   Teacher accused of masturbating in class may have been doing it for the past 10 years. That's decadent   (chicago.cbslocal.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, Schaumburg, Paul LaDuke, Schaumburg Christian School, teachers  
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19414 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2011 at 6:37 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



144 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-11-15 09:22:34 PM  
What did he teach? Woodworking?
 
2011-11-15 09:28:01 PM  
A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class.

And this is why plastic, transparent podiums were invented.
 
2011-11-15 09:29:53 PM  
Podium? More like POUNDIUM, amirite?
 
2011-11-15 09:31:15 PM  
A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class.

You don't say.
 
2011-11-15 09:36:17 PM  
Now government is regulating what we do behind the privacy of our podiums? God, get big government out of our schools!
 
2011-11-15 09:38:28 PM  
LaDuke taught 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade algebra, 9th grade geometry, and 12th grade trigonometry and pre-calculus

He was obviously trying to teach the kids about diameter, circumference, expansion, etc.
 
2011-11-15 09:39:49 PM  

miss diminutive: A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class.

And this is why plastic, transparent podiums were invented.


This is also why Dominionists want private school vouchers...
 
2011-11-15 09:45:23 PM  
That is amazing stamina.
 
2011-11-15 10:21:39 PM  
i23.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-15 11:41:59 PM  
Whatta jerk-off, pally!
 
2011-11-16 01:15:35 AM  
So he has tenure now?
 
2011-11-16 02:03:03 AM  

Makh: So he has tenure now?


Win
 
2011-11-16 02:09:01 AM  
Was that wrong? Was I not supposed to do that?
 
2011-11-16 02:54:51 AM  

Makh: So he has tenure now?


Only if it was a Catholic school.

/Good night! Enjoy the veal!
 
2011-11-16 03:07:51 AM  
Take a page from the church's notebook and just transfer him to a different school.
 
2011-11-16 03:52:45 AM  
I had an 8th grade algebra teacher that liked to walk around the classroom with his tiny little chubby and rest it on students desks while he talked to them (mostly the girls) it was absolutely disgusting... ugh.
 
2011-11-16 06:13:58 AM  

Lorelle: LaDuke taught 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade algebra, 9th grade geometry, and 12th grade trigonometry and pre-calculus

He was obviously trying to teach the kids about diameter, circumference, expansion, etc.


I am pretty sure the lesson was about the angle of the dangle and its relationship to the heat of the meat.
 
182
2011-11-16 06:29:54 AM  
toughpigs.com

One ejaculation....two ejaculation....THREEEEEEEE ejaculations!
 
2011-11-16 06:40:01 AM  
That's not gum under those desks.
 
2011-11-16 06:41:07 AM  
That's whack. What a jerk.

/ or maybe a stroke of genius?
 
2011-11-16 06:41:41 AM  
From the article "Through the course of our investigation, our detectives have come...."
 
2011-11-16 06:46:01 AM  
Now there's a man with spunk.
 
2011-11-16 06:47:04 AM  

Lorelle: He was obviously trying to teach the kids about diameter, circumference, expansion, etc.


Trajectory, don't forget trajectory.
 
2011-11-16 06:53:19 AM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: I had an 8th grade algebra teacher that liked to walk around the classroom with his tiny little chubby and rest it on students desks while he talked to them (mostly the girls) it was absolutely disgusting... ugh


I had a social studies teacher in Junior High who'd kick his knees in and out the whole class. We figured he was jacking off.

Are there any other Derby Junior High (now middle school) in Michigan Alum here on Fark?
 
2011-11-16 06:54:10 AM  
10 years?! I thought you were supposed to seek medical attention for an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
 
2011-11-16 06:56:30 AM  
When I was in high school, one of the middle-aged (50+) male teachers used to ALWAYS do this. He had a podium at the front of the room and he would make all of the cheerleaders sit up front, and he'd masturbate behind the podium. It was really obvious. He never got caught/fired/prosecuted, as far as I know.
 
2011-11-16 06:56:47 AM  
"He was masturbating!"

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-11-16 06:58:11 AM  
If you've got 10 years of experience; I think it's fine to teach. Degrees are just pieces of paper.

//I have my Master's in Debating....looking to teach it; but everyone wants PhD's these days :(
 
2011-11-16 06:58:36 AM  

182: [toughpigs.com image 191x176]

One ejaculation....two ejaculation....THREEEEEEEE ejaculations!


bravo
 
2011-11-16 06:59:38 AM  
"Guys, I know this is going to make me unpopular but we've got the supervisor coming tomorrow and I don't want to see any wanking in the office....."

Genius video (with Simon Pegg) (new window)
 
2011-11-16 07:02:03 AM  
"...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?
 
2011-11-16 07:02:20 AM  
Does it usually take that long?
 
2011-11-16 07:04:05 AM  

LonMead: "...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?


YES. BUT THIS IS ASSUMING HES TAKING 8 HOUR BREAKS AT NIGHT BY SLEEPING
 
2011-11-16 07:04:44 AM  

namegoeshere: Does it usually take that long?


To be fair, the guy is 75 years old.
 
2011-11-16 07:10:12 AM  

namegoeshere: Does it usually take that long?


www.music-graffiti.com

"Is it supposed to be this soft?"

Jon iz teh kewl: LonMead: "...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?

YES. BUT THIS IS ASSUMING HES TAKING 8 HOUR BREAKS AT NIGHT BY SLEEPING


Ah, a union job then.

and stop shouting at me.
 
2011-11-16 07:14:26 AM  
'baitin!
 
2011-11-16 07:14:50 AM  
This article would have been much better if it was a female teacher.
 
2011-11-16 07:15:52 AM  
 
2011-11-16 07:17:00 AM  
Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?
 
2011-11-16 07:22:12 AM  
cache.interscope.com
 
2011-11-16 07:25:12 AM  

Lsherm: Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?


www.schnittberichte.com

Could give you many, many examples of that type of podium.
 
2011-11-16 07:34:34 AM  

Lsherm: Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?


In all likelihood, he was caught, and just shuffled off to a different school.

This is called the "Catholic Church Approach"

/bazing!
 
2011-11-16 07:44:06 AM  
So, that would make you a Master Debater?
 
2011-11-16 07:44:53 AM  
Have to link this one, too big. Clicky Pops.


/Possibly NSFW
 
2011-11-16 07:46:24 AM  
So what?!

I bet he didn't yell Oh Mamy!
 
2011-11-16 07:46:29 AM  
what a touching story. gives me a warm, moist feeling deep inside.
 
2011-11-16 07:48:17 AM  

LonMead: "...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?


Magenta!

/can't be obscure
 
2011-11-16 07:49:41 AM  
the intern

blavy.com
 
2011-11-16 07:49:46 AM  

Pert: "Guys, I know this is going to make me unpopular but we've got the supervisor coming tomorrow and I don't want to see any wanking in the office....."

Genius video (with Simon Pegg) (new window)


Oh yes, Big Train. That one was very hit or miss and mostly misses.

Here's another of the few hits. (new window)
 
2011-11-16 07:54:54 AM  

LonMead: Lsherm: Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?

[www.schnittberichte.com image 370x209]

Could give you many, many examples of that type of podium.


You win 1 intarwebs.
 
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