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(Local10) Florida If the boyfriend you're picking up from jail immediately attacks and strangles you, it may be a sign your relationship has some unresolved issues   (local10.com) divider line 80
More: Florida, interpersonal relationship, Fort Myers, jails  
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5366 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2011 at 9:01 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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phlegmmo [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 05:42:21 PM
www.local10.com
Elijah Paul Love

Love means never having to say you're sorry.
 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache
2011-11-15 09:05:54 PM
If your boyfriend looks like a murderer, it's probably time to get a new one.
 
Ed Finnerty [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:07:16 PM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: If your boyfriend looks like a murderer, it's probably time to get a new one.

A new murderer or a new boyfriend?
 
Quantum Apostrophe
2011-11-15 09:07:53 PM
Don't dump him, he can change. It's not worth your time to date a nice guy.
 
InOmnibusCaritas [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:09:14 PM
Ed Finnerty: A new murderer or a new boyfriend?

dvdmedia.ign.com
And are they as big as he is?
Who?
The mum and the sister...
Same person.
 
phlegmmo [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:10:22 PM
What she sees
wedding-pictures.onewed.com
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:11:12 PM
It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)
 
skinink
2011-11-15 09:11:44 PM

Let me tell you the story of Right Hand, Left Hand. It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: it was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: static. One hand is always fighting the other hand, and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished.

But hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that's right. Ooh, it's a devastating right and Hate is hurt, he's down. Left-Hand Hate KOed by Love.


filipspagnoli.files.wordpress.com

 
cksewell [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:12:50 PM
I hate when that happens.
 
Slartibartfaster
2011-11-15 09:13:13 PM
phlegmmo: Elijah Paul Love

To be fair - he did represent each name correctly. Wait except the love bit.

( The bible needs a new chapter ? This guy is a minecraftian christian creeper. )
 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache
2011-11-15 09:13:16 PM
Ed Finnerty: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: If your boyfriend looks like a murderer, it's probably time to get a new one.

A new murderer or a new boyfriend?

Hmmm.... decisions....
 
Onkel Buck
2011-11-15 09:13:29 PM
Well depending how long he was locked down he may have had to reassert his dominance. A few days a firm pimp slap would cover it, if it was months on the other hand warrents a full on "choke a biatch" manuever
 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache
2011-11-15 09:14:10 PM
InOmnibusCaritas: Ed Finnerty: A new murderer or a new boyfriend?

[dvdmedia.ign.com image 460x276]
And are they as big as he is?
Who?
The mum and the sister...
Same person.

Hag, evil old woman considered frightful or ugly.
 
Romeo_Santana
2011-11-15 09:19:49 PM
Love isn't supposed to hurt.
 
jmadisonbiii
2011-11-15 09:20:59 PM
When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.
 
AbbeySomeone
2011-11-15 09:21:31 PM
cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

Nah, he won't marry her until she get's knocked up and then only after the baby is born and he's sure it's his.
 
Kanemano
2011-11-15 09:22:50 PM
Romeo_Santana: Love isn't supposed to hurt.

au contraire Love hurts,

then strangles
 
InOmnibusCaritas [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:24:22 PM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Hag, evil old woman considered frightful or ugly.

You're a doctor, deal with it!
Yeah, motherfarker!
 
TomD9938
2011-11-15 09:26:58 PM
Quantum Apostrophe: Don't dump him, he can change.

And when you do change him, imagine how well that will reflect on you, showing everyone just what a truly wonderful person you really are.
 
digitalrain
2011-11-15 09:29:27 PM
phlegmmo: What she sees
[wedding-pictures.onewed.com image 300x300]

O.M.G. I was gonna post the same thing. Or a slightly edgier and non-cancerous
version of:

i.fanpix.net
 
pottie
2011-11-15 09:31:30 PM
"...when she claimed Love went crazy."

That about sums it all up.
 
Unhip1
2011-11-15 09:31:31 PM
skinink: Let me tell you the story of Right Hand, Left Hand. It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: it was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: static. One hand is always fighting the other hand, and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that's right. Ooh, it's a devastating right and Hate is hurt, he's down. Left-Hand Hate KOed by Love.

Where is that from? Did you make it up? If you did, it's wicked funny!
 
AbbeySomeone
2011-11-15 09:32:28 PM
TomD9938: Quantum Apostrophe: Don't dump him, he can change.

And when you do change him, imagine how well that will reflect on you, showing everyone just what a truly wonderful person you really are.

The real b*tch is when he meets someone who won't put up with his sh*t and straightens up; but hey, you created the changes in him and now you're angry right?
 
metametameta
2011-11-15 09:33:16 PM
This would be one of those guys who needs a "no dating" sign tattooed on his forehead.
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:37:45 PM
cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

I say she should test his fortitude before the deed.
 
skinink
2011-11-15 09:38:42 PM
Unhip1: skinink: Let me tell you the story of Right Hand, Left Hand. It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: it was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: static. One hand is always fighting the other hand, and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that's right. Ooh, it's a devastating right and Hate is hurt, he's down. Left-Hand Hate KOed by Love.

Where is that from? Did you make it up? If you did, it's wicked funny!

It's from Do the Right Thing, which was originally from Night of the Hunter.
 
Pollexabator
2011-11-15 09:39:12 PM
What a catch. So assertive and confident, none of that nice guy crap.
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:51:36 PM
AbbeySomeone: cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

Nah, he won't marry her until she get's knocked up and then only after the baby is born and he's sure it's his.

Well, they will need a flower girl and/or ring boy for the wedding. Guess it is best to wait till you have one. :P
 
pervvywanker
2011-11-15 09:55:06 PM
You never know, she could have swelled up like a tick since the last time he saw her and it set him off. I certainly wouldn't want some big fatty picking me up from jail.
 
dholway [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 09:56:48 PM
"domestic battery by strangulation"
I have a title for my next album.
 
Ooba Tooba
2011-11-15 09:58:26 PM
No strangling unless there's penetration. They were still in the car, so he should have just slapped her around a little bit. For foreplay. Women like that.
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:05:45 PM
AlwaysRightBoy: cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

I say she should test his fortitude before the deed.

True. No marriage before you know he can punch you like a real man.
 
BackAssward [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:10:28 PM
cowgirl toffee: AlwaysRightBoy: cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

I say she should test his fortitude before the deed.

True. No marriage before you know he can punch you like a real man.


;)
 
EleventyOne
2011-11-15 10:11:00 PM
phlegmmo: What she sees
[wedding-pictures.onewed.com image 300x300]

holy crap that guy has a lop sided head.
 
Lispin'Liberal
2011-11-15 10:17:48 PM
Nice guys don't get laid. Abuse is danger and danger is sexy.
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:33:52 PM
cowgirl toffee: AlwaysRightBoy: cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

I say she should test his fortitude before the deed.

True. No marriage before you know he can punch you like a real man.

I do hope you know I was being a total wise ass and would never condone violence in any way or form.

/If not, I apologize
 
BackAssward [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:40:03 PM
AlwaysRightBoy: I do hope you know I was being a total wise ass and would never condone violence in any way or form.

Really? She has no problem with it... all she says is "don't stop".
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:40:08 PM
AlwaysRightBoy: cowgirl toffee: AlwaysRightBoy: cowgirl toffee: It sounds like it's time for them to get married. :)

I say she should test his fortitude before the deed.

True. No marriage before you know he can punch you like a real man.

I do hope you know I was being a total wise ass and would never condone violence in any way or form.

/If not, I apologize

For that... you get a beating. :P

Just kidding... it's not problem. I was just being an ass as well but in a domestic-ie violence kinda way. ;)
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:43:42 PM
BackAssward: AlwaysRightBoy: I do hope you know I was being a total wise ass and would never condone violence in any way or form.

Really? She has no problem with it... all she says is "don't stop".

That was actually "don't... stop... don't... stop". :P

Who wants a beating? Do you want a beating?
*snaps leather*
Ok... bend over and take it like a man... with a lot of whining and crying. ;)
 
BackAssward [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:48:39 PM
cowgirl toffee: Who wants a beating?


You made me thing of that Oprah Winfrey gift day thingy.

blogs.suntimes.com

And you get a beating, and you get a beating, and you get a beating!
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:50:09 PM
BackAssward: cowgirl toffee: Who wants a beating?

You made me thing of that Oprah Winfrey gift day thingy.

[blogs.suntimes.com image 500x333]

And you get a beating, and you get a beating, and you get a beating!

o_o
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 10:55:06 PM
Hmmm...I wonder what he was in jail for the first time.
 
Ooba Tooba
2011-11-15 10:56:27 PM
Alwaysrightboy; my wife is having awesome, violent sex two towns over with a coworker right now while i am apologizing to a woman I'll never meet for joking about something that was obviously not going to be taken seriously.
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 11:02:46 PM
Ooba Tooba: Alwaysrightboy; my wife is having awesome, violent sex two towns over with a coworker right now while i am apologizing to a woman I'll never meet for joking about something that was obviously not going to be taken seriously.

You obviously don't know Cowgirl....she has connections.
 
Mambo Bananapatch
2011-11-15 11:08:46 PM
If the your boyfriend you're picking up from is in jail immediately attacks and strangles you, it may be a sign your relationship has some unresolved issues leave.

Whew. FTFY.
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 11:08:55 PM
AlwaysRightBoy: Ooba Tooba: Alwaysrightboy; my wife is having awesome, violent sex two towns over with a coworker right now while i am apologizing to a woman I'll never meet for joking about something that was obviously not going to be taken seriously.

You obviously don't know Cowgirl....she has connections.

O_o
What do you mean by "obviously"? :P
 
StoneColdAtheist
2011-11-15 11:09:03 PM
Bathia_Mapes: Hmmm...I wonder what he was in jail for the first time.

Meh, what I want to know is what is he going to do to her after she bails him out tomorrow?
 
Ooba Tooba
2011-11-15 11:10:33 PM
Just having fun fella. Have her favorited for her snark, by the way :)
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 11:13:15 PM
Ooba Tooba: Just having fun fella. Have her favorited for her snark, by the way :)

*giddy* :)
 
cryinoutloud
2011-11-15 11:14:21 PM
StoneColdAtheist: Meh, what I want to know is what is he going to do to her after she bails him out tomorrow?

Look, if she doesn't bail him out, how is she going to get an explanation for all that sudden and completely atypical violence? I JUST WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHY YOU DID--*ackk*.
 
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