I cannot tell a lie.....I am a frothy mix of lube, semen, and feces that is the end-byproduct of anal sex?

You know, George Washington doesn't exactly stand out as an intellectual giant among the Founders. Beck may actually be onto something here.

Who is Glenn Beck and why should I care?

weave: ultraholland: Who is Glenn Beck and why should I care?

Just some guy that never denied the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990, if my memory hasn't failed me.

No, your memory is just fine. I don't understand why he hasn't addressed the issue. That's raising a lot of red flags.

Rick Santorum kills Germans on Christmas?

TROLLOLOLOL

Mugato: Why do people listen to Glenn Beck? I mean what qualifications does he have? It's an honest question, I'm not a talk radio listener and I don't know.

"Glenn Beck is not a political scientist, nor does he hold an advanced degree, or any degree, in anything. He's simply an enthusiastic young man with a 6th grade education and an abiding love for his country that echoes the love he had for a young girl in 1990 who just wouldn't listen.

So join us now for an exciting edition of 'Glenn Beck: Retard Planet'"

Mugato: Why do people listen to Glenn Beck?

"Answer most commonly given? 'I want to see what he'll say next.'"

Someone needs to paint a picture of Santorum frothing the Delaware.

PanicMan: Rick Santorum kills Germans on Christmas?

If by "kills Germans" you mean "goes to leather bars and roleplays as truckers' toilet paper while getting pegged by his taxidermied fetus."

/Oh, and "froth"

Someone's gonna knock his teeth out and he'll need some prosthetic ones?

Mugato: I'm not big on American history but did George Washington go on a lot about naked gay military guys showering together naked....while nude???

I imagine he complained about it a lot, but the thrust of the complaint was probably more that the water was basically ice and the whole camp was half freezing to death every time they tried to wash a bit of the stink off.

stoli n coke: So join us now for an exciting edition of 'Glenn Beck: Retard Planet'"

A KENYAN CAN'T BE PRESIDENT, THAT'S CRAZY

I'M GLENN BECKS

George Washington chopped down a cherry tree- how could Santorum be like this? He wants to preserve the cherry until married.

Rick Santorum would have been a loyalist if he was alive in 1776.

George Washington, in despite of his faults, a giant of man. Rick Santorum isn't fit to lick his boots. More over he's a President who used armed forces to assert the power of the Federal government and the executive branch. Not exactly small government type.

PT Barnum would have loved Becks ability to separate the gullible from their money.

Mugato: Why do people listen to Glenn Beck? I mean what qualifications does he have? It's an honest question, I'm not a talk radio listener and I don't know.

Glenn Beck has a really good, well-trained voice, and he's learned how to say things that make people feel like their beliefs are valid.

If you like to listen to the radio while you drive, and most of the clanging and banging and repetition of the music stations doesn't do it for you, Glenn Beck is a good alternative.

The Santorum (new window)

When did Glenn Beck go full Glenn Beck? I first came across his show in '05 and it was mildly entertaining. His Moron Trivia for Monday Football was epic. Never have I seen the crazy train go so fast and so far off the rails. He is completely unwatchable and and cannot be listened to. Amazing that this persona is what got him mainstream and paid.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: A man with 18th century ideals?

A man most well known for beating off the entire British Army?