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(Some Guy) Fail Producers of the Akira movie found a way to make it suck even harder than a Dyson vacuum   (twitchfilm.com) divider line 71
More: Fail, Kristen Stewart, Garrett Hedlund, Gary Oldman, Katsuhiro Otomo, kei, Helena Bonham Carter, Kaneda, vacuums  
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6026 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Nov 2011 at 3:10 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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groppet
2011-11-15 03:11:26 PM
Well I wasent going to see it before and just ignore it. But now I shall burn down any theater that shows it.
 
meatofmystery
2011-11-15 03:14:15 PM
groppet: Well I wasent going to see it before and just ignore it. But now I shall burn down any theater that shows it.

Wasent??????
 
farscape
2011-11-15 03:14:47 PM
So long as she's the one crushed at the end, im ok with this.
 
Keywork99
2011-11-15 03:17:19 PM
The only thing I thought she has halfway decent in was The Runaways.

The hilarious thing is that on Twitter there are all sorts of Twilight fangirls all saying, "What's Akira?"
 
Garko
2011-11-15 03:18:39 PM
farscape: So long as she's the one crushed at the end, im ok with this.

Nope. That was Kaorie. (sp?)
 
browneye [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 03:18:50 PM
Well this is going to suck crap on a cracker.
 
crab66
2011-11-15 03:21:08 PM
Ah jeez.......
 
Rhypskallion
2011-11-15 03:22:00 PM
Akira. First 11 issues of a 125 issue manga ala anime'.

Akira is well done, but I wish they would FINISH THE STORY in animation instead of rehashing those 11 issues over and over again. THIS is why it doesn't end---but just stops.
 
Rent Party
2011-11-15 03:22:47 PM
A crappy comic book turned into a crappy cartoon is now going to be a crappy live action film staring a crappy actress.

How did this not rate the Obvious tag?
 
tzzhc4
2011-11-15 03:26:01 PM
she's certainly talented

Are we talking about the same person? Kristen Stewart has the talent of a 2x4.

The Hollywood mediocrity machine wins again!
 
Colour_out_of_Space
2011-11-15 03:27:19 PM
I don't think she looks very Japanese.
 
Trail of Dead
2011-11-15 03:28:29 PM
groppet: Well I wasent going to see it before and just ignore it. But now I shall burn down any theater that shows it.

THIS
 
LarryDan43
2011-11-15 03:28:45 PM
Whew, for a second I thought they cast some guy to play Tetsuo who would have a scene where he says no 45 times consecutively.
 
sniderman
2011-11-15 03:30:48 PM
TETSUO!!!!!!

CANADA!!!!!

Repeat for 90 minutes.
 
nitefallz
2011-11-15 03:32:48 PM
LarryDan43: Whew, for a second I thought they cast some guy to play Tetsuo who would have a scene where he says no 45 times consecutively.

Nononono (new window)

s3.amazonaws.com
 
farkeruk
2011-11-15 03:35:29 PM
sniderman: TETSUO!!!!!!

CANADA!!!!!

Repeat for 90 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4COLV6CleU
 
Apos [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 03:36:03 PM
Tetsu-Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


*Pause*


Oooooooooo!
 
The All-Powerful Atheismo
2011-11-15 03:37:24 PM
Stewart is a choice that makes sense on most levels - she's certainly talented

i131.photobucket.com
 
EdgeRunner
2011-11-15 03:38:26 PM
She's supposed to be the token Japanese cast member. Hollywood execs are so f*cking lame, they can't tell the different between epicanthic folds and heavy-lidded stoner eyes.
 
ExperianScaresCthulhu
2011-11-15 03:38:48 PM
It sucked from the moment it was conceived as a majority caucasian production for money, not for art.
There's not really much lower it could go.
 
Surool
2011-11-15 03:42:58 PM
Really? On a 'galactic core black hole' scale of suckage, they added the power of another 12 amp vacuum cleaner, and that will make a difference? This movie was deemed unwatchable ages ago. Nothing, not even KS, can make it less watchable.
 
coeyagi
2011-11-15 03:43:31 PM
What a Dyson Vacuum May Look Like:

www.genemagazine.com
 
DontMakeMeComeBackThere
2011-11-15 03:45:34 PM
tzzhc4: she's certainly talented

Are we talking about the same person? Kristen Stewart has the talent of a 2x4.

The Hollywood mediocrity machine wins again!

Yeah, what a butt-kissing article that was.
 
Stile4aly
2011-11-15 03:46:38 PM
sniderman: TETSUO!!!!!!

CANADA!!!!!

Repeat for 90 minutes.

www.animea.net

Kaneda frowns on your shenanigans.
 
alternative girlfriend
2011-11-15 03:49:56 PM
I think I could get over the white-washing in general.

But now I just will not see this movie. They have completely destroyed it.
 
Stavr0
2011-11-15 03:55:05 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
Oh please please please please please please please let it be Kristen.
 
coeyagi
2011-11-15 03:55:45 PM
coeyagi: What a Dyson Vacuum May Look Like:

[www.genemagazine.com image 448x627]

Btw, didn't RTFA, just guessed on that.

//because when I think suck, I think Stewart.
 
mekkab
2011-11-15 03:56:38 PM
Surool: Really? On a 'galactic core black hole' scale of suckage, they added the power of another 12 amp vacuum cleaner, and that will make a difference? This movie was deemed unwatchable ages ago. Nothing, not even KS, can make it less watchable.

Pretty much this.
 
Surool
2011-11-15 04:01:01 PM
Stavr0: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x224]
Oh please please please please please please please let it be Kristen.

FTA: BREAKING: KRISTEN STEWART OFFERED KEI IN AKIRA

Your picture is of Kaori. You lose.

What does sniderman have against Canada? It a nice country.
 
Baelz
2011-11-15 04:03:32 PM
Oh please.... It's a minor role people so stop your internet bravado.

/no one cares what movie you see
//it could be worse, a Kardashian could have got the role...
 
apeiron242
2011-11-15 04:07:14 PM
Really? There HAS to be at least one cute Japanese girl who they could cast in this.
 
radioman_
2011-11-15 04:14:34 PM
Caucasians playing Asians? Terrible. Warner Oland and Peter Lorre are rolling over in their graves.
 
Dr J Zoidberg [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 04:16:35 PM
My go to line is "Sucks more than a Clinton intern" but I like this one too
 
vrax
2011-11-15 04:24:42 PM
Not that this has a chance of ever being good, but let me guess, the pretty damn horrific gore and imagery that should be in Akira is going to be completely forgotten to make some BS PG-13 rating goal. I can't even imagine how this is going to turn out.
 
rukusrazor
2011-11-15 04:29:06 PM
Baelz: Oh please.... It's a minor role people so stop your internet bravado.

/no one cares what movie you see
//it could be worse, a Kardashian could have got the role...

It's only a minor role in the Akira we are familiar with. They might take liberties with the story. Maybe stretching the Tetso love story part. Think the scene where Tetso sneaks out of the laboratory to spend time with her... Now imagine that is half the movie.
 
cato113
2011-11-15 04:30:25 PM
 
farkMcFark
2011-11-15 04:36:20 PM
Wondering if there was this kind of outrage when the movie 21 was coming out . . .
 
gunga galunga
2011-11-15 04:36:51 PM
I don't get this hatred towards Kristin Stewart. Sure, the Twilight series sucks out the contents of a hog's bunghole but who can blame her for taking the part. It came with huge paychecks. Adventureland and The Runaways shows she can act and she's pretty attractive to boot.

/has no intention of seeing this movie
 
evilmousse
2011-11-15 04:39:05 PM
next up, casablanca starring adam sandler and miley cyrus, with michael baysplosions
 
gunga galunga
2011-11-15 04:43:47 PM
farkMcFark: Wondering if there was this kind of outrage when the movie 21 was coming out . . .

I rememeber there being some complaints.

And also when The Last Airbender came out and somebody leaked a copy of the casting call sheet which specified that they were looking for white people to play asian characters.
 
trickymoo
2011-11-15 04:44:09 PM
rukusrazor: Baelz: Oh please.... It's a minor role people so stop your internet bravado.

/no one cares what movie you see
//it could be worse, a Kardashian could have got the role...

It's only a minor role in the Akira we are familiar with. They might take liberties with the story. Maybe stretching the Tetso love story part. Think the scene where Tetso sneaks out of the laboratory to spend time with her... Now imagine that is half the movie.

I didnt think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows cause that is EXACTLY what they are going to do with the love story. Whole movie is nothing but her looking confused with her mouth open.

"No. Tetsuo. Dont. Go?"
 
buttery_shame_cave
2011-11-15 04:49:58 PM
trickymoo: rukusrazor: Baelz: Oh please.... It's a minor role people so stop your internet bravado.

/no one cares what movie you see
//it could be worse, a Kardashian could have got the role...

It's only a minor role in the Akira we are familiar with. They might take liberties with the story. Maybe stretching the Tetso love story part. Think the scene where Tetso sneaks out of the laboratory to spend time with her... Now imagine that is half the movie.

I didnt think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows cause that is EXACTLY what they are going to do with the love story. Whole movie is nothing but her looking confused with her mouth open.

"No. Tetsuo. Dont. Go?"

i can fap to that.


no, really. i might not watch what she's in, but i'd hit it, flip it over, pound it, roll it back over and slather it.

and then i'd make her breakfast.
 
Comic Book Guy
2011-11-15 05:15:17 PM
Rhypskallion: Akira. First 11 issues of a 125 issue manga ala anime'.

Akira is well done, but I wish they would FINISH THE STORY in animation instead of rehashing those 11 issues over and over again. THIS is why it doesn't end---but just stops.

3.bp.blogspot.com

FINISH THE FARKING STORY!
 
IntotheAbyss
2011-11-15 05:19:00 PM
I'm soooo old
blog.evacuumstore.com


/and fark this abomination of a movie
 
Ordell
2011-11-15 05:51:27 PM
Dysons are awesome. Awesomely expensive, but awesome.

Stewart's acting? Not so much. Not at all, actually.
 
Flappyhead
2011-11-15 06:01:12 PM
Ordell: Dysons are awesome. Awesomely expensive, but awesome.

Stewart's acting? Not so much. Not at all, actually.

True, but if we compare the suction power I'm pretty sure we'll have a photo finish. She got that gig somehow you know.
 
mhd
2011-11-15 06:10:35 PM
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!
 
coffeecrisp
2011-11-15 07:18:01 PM
cato113: This wasn't wassent supposed to be a blueprint! ^

FTFY
 
hubiestubert [TotalFark]
2011-11-15 07:41:32 PM
Ah...I see that Kate Beckensale has passed the torch of the Anointed Boddhistava of Suck...
 
Russky
2011-11-15 07:46:46 PM
gunga galunga: I don't get this hatred towards Kristin Stewart. Sure, the Twilight series sucks out the contents of a hog's bunghole but who can blame her for taking the part. It came with huge paychecks. Adventureland and The Runaways shows she can act and she's pretty attractive to boot.

/has no intention of seeing this movie

Enjoyed her in the runaways! Never bothered watching twilight so have no idea what she was like in there.
 
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