At least they didn't gut him out.

Wait how did they expect to not get caught?

I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there. The impact killed it instantly and its tongue flapping snout was pressed against my face. The collision also cut the brake lines, so I had no choice but to ride it out, difficult to do with a steep downward grade. Oncoming cars were passing, and I imagine they thought it a might odd for a guy to be riding his motorcycle with an exploded deer carcass stuck to the front.

With friends like these, who needs motorcycles?

Nothing runs like a deer.

Sin_City_Superhero: They will be charged with tampering with evidence, investigators said.

But not "grand theft auto"?

it was a motorcycle, sillybeans!

It's hard to get a motorcycle licence if you're a deer...

Link (new window)

Now see, they should have planted guns or knives on the biker and the deer. The Police would have figured it was some kind of settling of accounts.

spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there.

Too bad the deer is the one that died that day.

two women picked up his bike?

Quite often, I think my friends are total douchebags. I mean, they are, but I'm glad to see that their limits fall short of these particular "friends."

LemSkroob: spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there.

Too bad the deer is the one that died that day.

So in your world, the penalty for speeding should be death? Texan?

This would be proper etiquette in Wisconsin. The man does deserve some privacy after all.

There seems to be something written on his forehead. Enhance, enhance.. "Dumbass", thought so!

spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there. The impact killed it instantly and its tongue flapping snout was pressed against my face. The collision also cut the brake lines, so I had no choice but to ride it out, difficult to do with a steep downward grade. Oncoming cars were passing, and I imagine they thought it a might odd for a guy to be riding his motorcycle with an exploded deer carcass stuck to the front.

Cut your rear brake line, too?

henryhill:
So in your world, the penalty for speeding should be death? Texan?

No, but, doing 85 on a two-wheel vehicle (w/o roll cage or a shell) going around a curve on a public road (read: not a controlled course) should result in a Darwinian outcome.

jtown: Cut your rear brake line, too?

Brake fluid reservoir is generally on handlebars.

henryhill: So in your world, the penalty for speeding should be death? Texan?

I think the point was Trolly McTrollerson described a curve tight enough to be considered a blind curve (that or he described himself as an idiot for not looking around the curve), yet he was somehow able to maintain 85mph. Oh, and not only did he maintain that speed around a tight turn, but he didn't fall down when he hit a deer. On a downgrade. In traffic. So, he's either a troll or Jesus, in which case I'm wondering why he slaughtered an innocent animal for no good reason.

LemSkroob: henryhill:
So in your world, the penalty for speeding should be death? Texan?

No, but, doing 85 on a two-wheel vehicle (w/o roll cage or a shell) going around a curve on a public road (read: not a controlled course) should result in a Darwinian outcome.

Wow, did you wet yourself just reading my post? The reason I was ONLY doing 85MPH (I've taken that blind curve at 130MPH) was because I was eating a sub-sandwich and didn't want the lettuce and tomatoes and crap flying all over the place. Do you ride? I'm not talking about bicycles either. You sound like a nervous nelly.

LemSkroob: henryhill:
So in your world, the penalty for speeding should be death? Texan?

No, but, doing 85 on a two-wheel vehicle (w/o roll cage or a shell) going around a curve on a public road (read: not a controlled course) should result in a Darwinian outcome.

You drive a Prius don't you?

/Hit 2 deer in August on my motorcycle
//Deer did better than I did
///Wasn't speeding

jtown: spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there. The impact killed it instantly and its tongue flapping snout was pressed against my face. The collision also cut the brake lines, so I had no choice but to ride it out, difficult to do with a steep downward grade. Oncoming cars were passing, and I imagine they thought it a might odd for a guy to be riding his motorcycle with an exploded deer carcass stuck to the front.

Cut your rear brake line, too?

[images.cheezburger.com image 382x512]

The claims major issue is that an 85mph collision with a deer on a motorcycle will kill you just as effectively as the deer you hit.

LemSkroob: spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there.

Too bad the deer is the one that died that day.

It's cool; he's lying.

spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there. The impact killed it instantly and its tongue flapping snout was pressed against my face. [...]

Overflow from Penthouse Forum?

jtown: spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there. The impact killed it instantly and its tongue flapping snout was pressed against my face. The collision also cut the brake lines, so I had no choice but to ride it out, difficult to do with a steep downward grade. Oncoming cars were passing, and I imagine they thought it a might odd for a guy to be riding his motorcycle with an exploded deer carcass stuck to the front.

Cut your rear brake line, too?

[images.cheezburger.com image 382x512]

Well, to be fair, with the weight of the deer on the front of the bike and going downhill, touching the rear brake would have locked that wheel making a bad situation, worse.

That is IF the rest of the story is true.

/knew a guy that cut a deer in half with a bike. Bike was in poor shape afterward too.

//personally, I slow down in times/places where deer are likely.

LemSkroob: spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there.

Too bad the deer is the one that died that day.

spentmiles: Wow, did you wet yourself just reading my post? The reason I was ONLY doing 85MPH (I've taken that blind curve at 130MPH) was because I was eating a sub-sandwich and didn't want the lettuce and tomatoes and crap flying all over the place. Do you ride? I'm not talking about bicycles either. You sound like a nervous nelly.

haha, i was wondering why his biggest issue with your story was the brake lines (which isn't improbable) remaining on the bike after hitting a 30lb animal, let alone a 100+ lb deer would be quite the feat.

TheTeethoftheTiger: jtown: Cut your rear brake line, too?

Brake fluid reservoir is generally on handlebars.

I hope you're not a motorcycle mechanic. On both of my bikes the front and rear brake systems are completely isolated. Different lines, different actuators, different cables, different reservoirs. The rear brake is controlled by the right foot pedal and every part of the rear brake system is farther back on the bike than the pedal with the line running inside the frame of the bike.

TheTeethoftheTiger: jtown: Cut your rear brake line, too?

Brake fluid reservoir is generally on handlebars.

Most bikes have seperate resevoirs for front and rear brakes. Losing front brakes shouldn't cause rear brakes to fail.

spentmiles: Do you ride?

I do. Which is why I'm LOLing at your physics-defying description of events.

Stranger thing have happened. As a biker, I know.


CygnusDarius Add Favorite User Quote 2011-11-14 04:11:17 PM Ignore User
Are you gonna let all that deer to waste?.

/How do deer steaks taste like?


Damned good. Try a ground venison burger.

Backstrap from an elk is pure heaven. So is Rattlesnake meat. Sclue PETA.

Rickj: TheTeethoftheTiger: jtown: Cut your rear brake line, too?

Brake fluid reservoir is generally on handlebars.

Most bikes have seperate resevoirs for front and rear brakes. Losing front brakes shouldn't cause rear brakes to fail.

I always disable the rear brakes. No matter how much you adjust them, there's going to be some amount of friction. And if top speed is your primary concern, as is mine, then disabling the rear brakes will buy you another 3 to 5 MPH. You have to know what you're doing, though, as you can get yourself into some unpredictable situations with just front brakes (queue the deer story). I wear Liminear Boots with 45 grade tread, so if the shiat really hit the fan, I could always put my feet down and drag my way to a stop. Had to do that once while riding across Canada and hit a grizzly.

My farking 06 ninja 636 was stolen 3 weeks ago.

Not a cool story bro. I haz sad


Damn deer stealing everything

Rezurok: imagemacros.files.wordpress.com

I've never really got a good answer to this question, but can you really call a troll successor if the only responses are calling it out as a idiot/troll? IMHO a successful troll has to go a while without being identified. Threadshiatting/outrageous stories don't count. I don't think you can say a troll is successful jut for getting a reply.

spentmiles: Wow, did you wet yourself just reading my post? The reason I was ONLY doing 85MPH (I've taken that blind curve at 130MPH) was because I was eating a sub-sandwich and didn't want the lettuce and tomatoes and crap flying all over the place. Do you ride? I'm not talking about bicycles either. You sound like a nervous nelly.

Oh spentmiles. That is the first smile you ever put on my face.

<b><a target="_blank" href="http://www.fark.com/comments/6732654/73051669#c73051669">spentmi les</a>:</b> <i>Rickj: TheTeethoftheTiger: jtown: Cut your rear brake line, too?

Brake fluid reservoir is generally on handlebars.

Most bikes have seperate resevoirs for front and rear brakes. Losing front brakes shouldn't cause rear brakes to fail.

I always disable the rear brakes. No matter how much you adjust them, there's going to be some amount of friction. And if top speed is your primary concern, as is mine, then disabling the rear brakes will buy you another 3 to 5 MPH. You have to know what you're doing, though, as you can get yourself into some unpredictable situations with just front brakes (queue the deer story). I wear Liminear Boots with 45 grade tread, so if the shiat really hit the fan, I could always put my feet down and drag my way to a stop. Had to do that once while riding across Canada and hit a grizzly.</i>

You're bringing the A game today.

spentmiles: LemSkroob: henryhill:
So in your world, the penalty for speeding should be death? Texan?

No, but, doing 85 on a two-wheel vehicle (w/o roll cage or a shell) going around a curve on a public road (read: not a controlled course) should result in a Darwinian outcome.

Wow, did you wet yourself just reading my post? The reason I was ONLY doing 85MPH (I've taken that blind curve at 130MPH) was because I was eating a sub-sandwich and didn't want the lettuce and tomatoes and crap flying all over the place. Do you ride? I'm not talking about bicycles either. You sound like a nervous nelly.

I laughed!

This story needs Yakity Sax for background music.

spentmiles: I hit a deer on my bike once. I was doing about 85MPH on a rural highway, came around the curve, and smashed into the farking thing. It reared back on its hind legs just as we collided, so its front hooves went under my arms and stuck there. The impact killed it instantly and its tongue flapping snout was pressed against my face. The collision also cut the brake lines, so I had no choice but to ride it out, difficult to do with a steep downward grade. Oncoming cars were passing, and I imagine they thought it a might odd for a guy to be riding his motorcycle with an exploded deer carcass stuck to the front.

So I drive up to the costume party and I knock on the door. The deer is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The deer mingles. Did very well. Scored. Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prices for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burcowitzes, a married couple dressed as a deer. The deer comes in second. The deer is furious. He and the Burcowitzes lock antlers in the living room.

I hit two deer, myself, last week. Slammed into them at about 2000 feet per second.

\got nuthin'.

Cycling (the kind with pedals and my fat ass huffing and puffing) today, saw a deer as I was going down a twisty hill. It was standing there on a blind curve blocking uphill traffic, staring stupidly at me coming down the hill (and, presumably, my fiance and other cars). Yelled "aragahagghhh" (exactly that!) at it, and spooked the stupid thing so much it slipped when it tried to run, and jumped straight off the edge of the hill. Hilariously dumb creatures.

/CSB

Around here, it would be more likely that a bunch of rednecks would take the deer than the bike.