Jake Havechek: He says that one of them had a farking hand grenade in his hand.

Well, where else would you keep it?

The Aristocrats!

Drucker: "Paramount Pictures presents 'The Freak.' This movie won't just scare you, it will fark you up for life." I want to know how the fark the word "fark" gets in the New York farking Times!

Can we get the Taiwanese cartoon treatment for this?

Well they put some fun in dysfunctional for sure.

This story delivers!

I have a feeling that marijuana was not the only drug involved in this escapade.

"a white Ford F-150 drove up and disgorged two enraged women:"

I hate it when a truck drives by and barfs up two angry b*****es.

What the hell were these people smoking? Seriously you have to be really high on some serious meth to even think about doing this type of stupid shiat. If this was from an episode of CSI or something everybody would be panning it saying that it was too unrealistic.

wow... they sure do things different in Texas. They throw the F bombs in news reports?

Texas just moved up a notch!

I'm assuming that this article was not written by a journalist, but more like some guy in a bar telling a wicked story.

I just have to say WOW!

you_idiot: I'm assuming that this article was not written by a journalist, but more like some guy in a bar telling a wicked story.

well, you do have to admit, it is a CSB.

My new girlfriend is a Houston native. I was making fun of her for it this weekend and she argued that Houston is "rich with history and culture". I cannot wait to send this to her.

Beastie Boys did it

A lot of beer a lot of girls and a lot of cursin - .22 automatic on my person.

Not actual weapons.


HAHAHA....

subby should get an A+ for finding this gem. i have to go find a car jack to scoop my jaw off the floor. eyebrows are embedded in ceiling.

the scumbag paki makes it just a little hard to believe it all.

This is one of the greatest stories ever, these people make the White family of West Virginia look tame in comparison.

a white Ford F-150 drove up and disgorged two enraged women

Must have been the Eddie Bauer Edition.

I get the impression that the story should've ended with the words, "The Aristocrats"...

Kimberly Ryals says her husband and Connie both fell to the floor during this struggle, so she walked up to Connie and shot her twice with the pistol. According to the report, both slugs found their mark, but despite being shot in both the back and the back of the neck, "Shaukat continued to fight and did not appear to be hindered."

I don't favour private citizens carrying guns for defensive purposes*, but if you are going to do it, buy something that packs a bit more of a wallop. I strongly suspect the results would have been quite different if the gun had been a .357 or a .45.

*Among other factors, stories like this are one reason. People are idiots

ManicParroT: Kimberly Ryals says her husband and Connie both fell to the floor during this struggle, so she walked up to Connie and shot her twice with the pistol. According to the report, both slugs found their mark, but despite being shot in both the back and the back of the neck, "Shaukat continued to fight and did not appear to be hindered."

I don't favour private citizens carrying guns for defensive purposes*, but if you are going to do it, buy something that packs a bit more of a wallop. I strongly suspect the results would have been quite different if the gun had been a .357 or a .45.

*Among other factors, stories like this are one reason. People are idiots

The people who used the gun weren't the idiots here. The idiots were the people who were attacking them. But you are correct that if they had a .357 or .45 this would have been over a lot quicker.

FTFA "And how was your week in north Houston?"

Priceless

No Anchorman reference yet? For shame Fark, for shame.

buy a real gun idiot

yert: buy a real gun idiot

A real gun idiot? I think he was one.

Don't Bogart that joint, mom.

Is it strange that as I was reading the story, I could clearly see in my mind the things that were being described? What a hilarious story!

Babu says, "You're a very, very bad man!"

yert: buy a real gun idiot

A .22 is a real gun. Certainly real enough that I wouldn't want to get shot with one.

TrancePI: Holy hell, that's a seriously wicked story.

That being said: FTFA: Paul says he then conked Adnan on the head with the bat, and then turned to glean the whereabouts of the other two men. He says that one of them had a farking hand grenade in his hand.

I didnt know journalists were allowed to get away with that sort of language.

The Houston Press is the free magazine at coffee shops and record stores that supports itself with personals and advertisements for Asian massages. It's not like it's a real newspaper.

Noticeably F.A.T.: yert: buy a real gun idiot

A .22 is a real gun. Certainly real enough that I wouldn't want to get shot with one.

A .22 is a fine gun if you need to defend yourself against a raccoon; not so good when you need to bring down a person intent on beating your brains in.

Florida tag called to say, "Daym, ya'll sound crazy. Where can I get one of dem hand-gree-nades on the intarnet?"

So the guy says "that's a helluva an act, what do you call it?"

"the 1%!"

yert: A .22 is a fine gun if you need to defend yourself against a raccoon; not so good when you need to bring down a person intent on beating your brains in.

While it might not be my first choice, I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself with a 22. Every now and again I'll use my Walther P22 as a carry piece. Extremely light en easy to conceal, even under light summer clothes. It might not be known as a man stopper, but I guaran-damn-tee you that ten slugs rattling around a guy's chest/skull is going to put a serious crimp in any plans he may have once had.

those two women sneaked up behind her.

snucked up behind her

pet poivre

yert: buy a real gun idiot

.22 is a common assassination tool. Well placed small calibre rounds achieve the same effect as larger ones.

VimFuego: The Aristocrats!

Hooray!

/ TFA was a good read

Vautour: No Anchorman reference yet? For shame Fark, for shame.
Oh good, I wasn't the only one who thought that.

What it probably looked like:

"Brick where'd you get the hand grenade?"
"I don't know."

what is this i don't even

devastation station: yert: buy a real gun idiot

.22 is a common assassination tool. Well placed small calibre rounds achieve the same effect as larger ones.

your a strange troll.

yert: your a strange troll.

What does that make you? Surely you're not suggesting that a .22 can't be lethal...

Noticeably F.A.T.: yert: your a strange troll.

What does that make you? Surely you're not suggesting that a .22 can't be lethal...

Yes a .22 can be a lethal round. Especially in the hands of a trained assassin. These people were not assassins and most people are not assassins. If this person has used a .357,.45, or even a 9mm we would not be having this discussion because the person she shot would more than likely would not have gotten back up.

My point is that for the average person a .22 caliber does not make for an effective defensive weapon. And any idiot could figure out for themselves what I was saying. But you had to go all farking stupid and trolly so fark you. Welcome to my ignore list.