Seacop: spif: My mom is suing my brother for weird things he said.

go on....

Ditto. This sounds fun.

>celebrating thanksgiving with your family
>in 2011

I seriously hope you guys don't do this.

What's the character limit on Fark forum posts in the database?

PFRboy: You were supposed to ask what your family has done to make you totes cray-cray. Dumbass.

I was thinking the same thing. What is this "totes-cray-cray" usage and where did it come from?

Well, I live in the Seattle area, where nobody is from, so my neighborhood is full of people who have no plans for Thanksgiving. We're eating with some friends and a neighbor is planning a football game. I really enjoy Orphans' Thanksgiving and Christmas. No pressure, and you get to choose who's there.

fark my judgemental idiot family. All they ever did was piss me off and push me away. So I'm going to the in-laws this year, who are cool as shiat. The wife's mother always has some manner of amazing tequila around. So we're just going to get REALLY drunk, play a lot of video games, and get fat on turkey. My kind of thanksgiving.

The step-kid, who makes twice what I do, has two homes and 10 vehicles (all working, including huge motor home, speed boat and race car), has announced that he will be bringing a couple of 2-liter bottles of soda to the family pot-luck, besides himself and his lovely wife.

Aidan, fireclown, and rickythepenguin: Thanks, guys. It's been a rough year. BUT, I think all the hard work now means my kids won't be contributing to Fark threads about how they hate being around their drunk family every sloshing holiday.

To all the Farkers working hard to keep yourselves and your (immediate) family emotionaly healthy during the holidays, GOOD FOR YOU!

Strategeryz0r: fark my judgemental idiot family. All they ever did was piss me off and push me away. So I'm going to the in-laws this year, who are cool as shiat. The wife's mother always has some manner of amazing tequila around. So we're just going to get REALLY drunk, play a lot of video games, and get fat on turkey. My kind of thanksgiving.

Oooooh. I've been trying to think of something to entertain my mother-in-law's quiet sedate 80-bazillion year old husband. I'm thinking... Dynasty Warriors...

AgentBang: Expecting our first baby in the next few weeks so this is the first year ever that we aren't traveling to a family's house for dinner. I'm pretty okey dokes with this.

Everybody knew that one poor kid growing up who had a birthday right before or after Christmas...

//seriously though, congrats!

Tziva: Tiiba: I don't get it. Where are the "for every animal you don't eat I'll eat three" people? Is this Fark or CuteOverload?

No one cares what's in the link. This thread is for griping.

Doesn't matter in the evolution threads. In fact, in those, neither the thread nor the article matter - there is only Bevets.

runningesq: My strong and wonderful wife recently confronted her alcoholism, and is doing great. We are hosting Thanksgiving for the entire family, but indicated that it was an alcohol-free zone. Her parents are drunks and asked if it was okay if they kept booze in the car to go out and refill. Seriously.

That is awesome! My dad made that choice about ten years ago now and hasn't had a drop since. He is SO much easier to talk to now he doesn't fly off into a rage. No booze or boozing family around the first three years makes a huge difference. My dad is fine now if people drink around him, but I just think it would have been a douchebag thing to do when he was struggling.

Fiance left me Thanksgiving Day last year and slept with a "good friend". Can't get a job but she found the time to do that. She moved in with him and took him all of five days to be sick of her crap and kicked her out. Now she's been homeless and no job for the past year but still knows everything. Kinda a blessing in disguise. Still could go to her parents house for Thanksgiving since they loved me and they were cool. Probably find a dive bar and line up a cab ride in advance for the night

Loaf's Tray: AgentBang: Expecting our first baby in the next few weeks so this is the first year ever that we aren't traveling to a family's house for dinner. I'm pretty okey dokes with this.

Everybody knew that one poor kid growing up who had a birthday right before or after Christmas...

//seriously though, congrats!

You think that's bad? My birthday has been and gone almost a month, and I still got birthday presents with Christmas presents. In fact I'm so used to it that I tend to send Christmas presents late because... Well that's how it's done isn't it? :P

bilk2455: Fiance left me Thanksgiving Day last year and slept with a "good friend". Can't get a job but she found the time to do that. She moved in with him and took him all of five days to be sick of her crap and kicked her out. Now she's been homeless and no job for the past year but still knows everything. Kinda a blessing in disguise. Still could go to her parents house for Thanksgiving since they loved me and they were cool. Probably find a dive bar and line up a cab ride in advance for the night

I have this refain ringing through my head. Angels singing "You dodged a bullet! A bullet! You dodged a bullet!". It's a canon, if that's important. :)

fireclown: To drive me nuts: Nothing at all. We have a solution to the high stress caused by the pressure cooker of having to put on a huge, perfect meal for loved ones who will remember what went wrong for years. And it works great. Ya wanna hear it?

Bar food.

Everyone loves comfort food. We have developed a system called "hillbilly tapas" (I am one, so I can say it). We bring a bunch of fried cheese sticks, mashed potatos, two kinds of mac and cheese (Kraft AND Velveeta), some crab rangoon that my bro-in-law makes, and whatever else you want to bring. It all goes on the table in the kitchen, and we munch on it until we blow explode or fall asleep watching football. Sweats are permitted.

This is how my family spends Christmas. Show up at Grandma's in your jammies with your favorite junk food and a board game. We eat, play games, watch movies and nap all day. It is wonderful. I wish we did this at Thanksgiving as well.

Aidan: Strategeryz0r: fark my judgemental idiot family. All they ever did was piss me off and push me away. So I'm going to the in-laws this year, who are cool as shiat. The wife's mother always has some manner of amazing tequila around. So we're just going to get REALLY drunk, play a lot of video games, and get fat on turkey. My kind of thanksgiving.

Oooooh. I've been trying to think of something to entertain my mother-in-law's quiet sedate 80-bazillion year old husband. I'm thinking... Dynasty Warriors...

Tradition in the family since I became a part of it: Playing the Call of Duty drinking game at all family functions. If playing multiplayer, lowest scorer(in split screen mode) has to take a shot. If playing spec ops(survival in MW3), shot every time you're downed. 2 every time you're killed.

Our holidays are awesome....

runningesq: Thanks, guys. It's been a rough year. BUT, I think all the hard work now means my kids won't be contributing to Fark threads about how they hate being around their drunk family every sloshing holiday.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you're right. But I still say it's a jerk move on the part of the family. Giving up booze is damned hard (I had to do it once) and the last things that your wife needs around her are A) drunk people and B) the notion that one simply MUST be boozing it up to be happy.

my wife hates her family and has totally disavowed them all, therefore feels that i should do the same to mine.
my mother wanted us all to meet in california for thanksgiving, which would be fine except i don't have the money to fly us all down to meet them and i was denied the time off from work to have enough time to drive down.
so my mother does not know the meaning of 'no,' especially when it comes to seeing her grandbabies and the holidays bring out years of unresolved issues in my wife.
in the end, i'll stay home, make my perfect turkey, and invite friends over.

Well my dad had an affair and my mom dumped all her problems on me to share! So that's how that's going.

My parents keep trying to call me. Spoke to them two days ago. Apparently it's an unwritten rule that I have to speak to them at least once every 48 hours because the Turkey God died for our sins or something.

/Leave me alone.

fireclown: runningesq: Thanks, guys. It's been a rough year. BUT, I think all the hard work now means my kids won't be contributing to Fark threads about how they hate being around their drunk family every sloshing holiday.

Best of luck to you, and I hope you're right. But I still say it's a jerk move on the part of the family. Giving up booze is damned hard (I had to do it once) and the last things that your wife needs around her are A) drunk people and B) the notion that one simply MUST be boozing it up to be happy.

Agreed. The reason I can't stand my relatives is that they obviously get their personalities out of the bottom of a bottle. I don't care if it's psychological or whatever. If they don't think they're interesting until they're piss-drunk... THEN THEY'RE RIGHT.

Same goes for runningesq's in-laws. If they can't cool it for one night, then they're... Well I hesitate to say worthless because I don't know them, but they certainly aren't good company for Turkey Day.

Between divorces, marriages, relocations, etc I think I have 7 thanksgivings to go to. I'll be lucky if I can manage to get to two of them.

Actually, I'd be lucky if I didn't have to go to any.

imapirate: I think I'm the only person on earth who really likes my in-laws.

Tziva: My in-laws are great. It's my family that is moderately crazy.

My in-laws are moderately crazy but in a quirkey good kinda way. My wife gets tired of them sometimes but I think they are great. My family has some weird dark dysfunction that I just stopped buying into. My Mom takes turns picking out a random daughter-in-law and demonizing her. She could be her favorite but if something goes wrong Mom revises history so that she NEVER liked her. That DIL becomes an alcoholic whore that has corrupted her son and is pure evil. Everyone else goes along thankful that they are not the target of her venom. 7 years ago we tried to stay out of my brother's divorce and since we didn't side with him unconditionally my wife got the full force demonization treatment. We decided to just cut ourselves off (easy when you live 600 miles away). The other DILs are probably relieved that we have been the villains for so long.

I have spoken to my Mom only once since then when I ambushed my Dad with a personally delivered card on his birthday. He's great but goes along with Mom because it's the path of least resistance. My kids haven't seen or spoken with them at all in 7 years. Birthdays and graduations just go by unnoticed by them, not even a single card. Today, my Mom called to let me know that Dad has been diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. So, have a happy holiday folks. I'm having bourbon.

Positives of the upcoming Holiday:
~Classes at college will be done.
~Going back to Wisconsin for the first time in a year.
~Going to spend the holiday surrounded by my family and close friends. We usually average 15 people for Thanksgiving dinner and 20 people for dessert/cards after dinner.
~Good football and good beer

Negatives
~Long car ride each way.
~Sister-in-law is having a baby shower/birthday party at a BAR that Saturday. She is 21 and pregnant with second kid. I can't stand the in-laws and I don't think my wife is fond of them either.

For me, the positives outweigh the negatives by a long shot.

Aidan: runningesq: My strong and wonderful wife recently confronted her alcoholism, and is doing great. We are hosting Thanksgiving for the entire family, but indicated that it was an alcohol-free zone. Her parents are drunks and asked if it was okay if they kept booze in the car to go out and refill. Seriously.

Goddamn! Good for your wife! I'm the daughter of "the one who said no farking booze", and I will always and forever be proud of my mother for doing it. Please tell your wife than a random internet chick thinks she's awesome.

/Rest of the family's still roaring alcoholics, but they're so far away I don't care

My sister is an alcoholic who has ruined an untold number of holidays with drunken rages. My mother banned alcohol from the house one Christmas. My sister-n-law snuck a bottle of wine into the backyard so the two of them could get properly tanked up to take on the holiday.

My sister stormed out in a drunken rage right after dinner.

I'm 1500 miles away from that drama (though I'll admit that I wouldn't mind being home for the holidays). Locally, we cut ties with my in-laws here because my mother-in-law stormed out because my wife wouldn't drive her to a casino on Christmas morning and lie to her husband that she was going to midnight mass with us. We didn't know until later that she'd just lost about $15,000 in the previous week and thought she could win it back. That was just the final straw, but we haven't spoken to anyone on that side of the family since Christmas 2007.

This year? My best friend got married into a really nice family who we had no qualms about inviting to our home. Its going to be crowded and take a lot of work, but should be fun.

Highroller48: (In many ways, it might have been fairer to let them have more guns and fight back like they did in the U.S.)

I kind of thought of it the other way: it would have been simpler to have never let them get a hold of the first gun or horse. I suspect that there were also simply more native Americans down here as well, simply because it's warmer. Say what you will about winters in the American prairie, it's a lot tougher in Calgary for hunter/gatherers.

Is there a Canadian analog to Thanksgiving? Do you guys (assuming that you're Canadian) just sort of go along with it as an excuse for a big meal, or is it considered one of those gross American things?

How will my family drive me crazy?

1. My kids are 10, 8, and 5. 'nuff said.

2. It's at my sister-in-law's place. Her in-laws will be there. Sister-in-law has major tension with them, and they reportedly hate us. Ugh.

3. My dad won't come. He'll probably wind up being alone. That's his choice -- but it will still make me feel like crap.

4. Wife will let me prepare the three dishes we are bringing, but simultaneously want me to manage the kids.

I got a call from the nursing home director because my mom has been hustling the other old ladies out of their desserts.

I wish I was joking. I had to attend a meeting over it.

It has been a rough year. My gram died in February so this is the first holiday ever without her :-(.

We are COOKING ALL THE FOOD!! INVITING ALL THE PEOPLE!!!

Really we are just having a small one this year but I am excited about the menu (smoked duck to be included).

We are going to make plates for the beat cops in my neighborhood so they have some home cooked meals, and I always bring food to Security Forces at the main gate.

The farked up part of the family will be with my twat-waffle of an aunt.

Tziva: ent. She said it was totally optional, no pressure, etc, etc. Besides the fact that family events wear us out, we have a ton of stuff going on in the next two months and desperately need our weekends, so I said no thanks on doing Thanksgiving twice. Then she e

=======

Bahahahaha! Just wait until you're married!

Eirik: This year? My best friend got married into a really nice family who we had no qualms about inviting to our home. Its going to be crowded and take a lot of work, but should be fun.

Much better. :)

fireclown: Is there a Canadian analog to Thanksgiving? Do you guys (assuming that you're Canadian) just sort of go along with it as an excuse for a big meal, or is it considered one of those gross American things?

It's generally smaller, and there's no football game. Other than that, more or less the same, at least it was in my family.

Like the year I was having a difficult time with my first wife....she was sleeping withmy best friend. She told me she wanted to work it out, and it was a one time mistake. But that turned out to be some farked up co-dependent lie.

My brother knew what was going on. In fact had caught her in my friend s car that morning while at the bakery when she went out to buy bulkies for turkey sandwiches later. she had just finished givinghim a BJ. Dear old brother didn't have the nerve to tell me until much later.

All the while during the day my wife just smiled at me. Biatch. I knew she had cheated on me that morning. I knew it. But part of me wanted to be wrong. So like a idoit, I sat there, smiling at here, pretending nothing was wrong.

Too much shiat going on. Dad's cancer was back. My sisters son was just arrested for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Work had told me that after Christmas my job was gone.

I got drunk that day. And actually got into a yelling match withmy brother in law over some stupd shiat. Christ he was an ass.

I stormed out of the house and ended up getting more drunk at a down town gin joint.

I chated up the local whore who sat next to me. God I was drunk. She took me back to her mini van and I ended up performing oral sex on her. - too drunk to really get it up. Although lord knows I tried. And Tried and tried.

6 weeks later my penis is sore and covered in bumps.

Herpes fro Christmas. My wife had it too. Ho ho ho.

Found out later my best friend did too. Don't know where it all started. Who gave it to who.


I lost my job. I lost mywife. Have a incurable STD, my brother in law still hates me. Dad's passed for a few years now. My nephew is living in a trailer in Alabama. He's got some hot chicita knocked up and is asking me for money.Good luck tiger.

Passed the mashed potatoes.

Loadmaster: I call my mother-in-law the Nagivator.
Because she is, you know, a attractive and successful African-American.

Damn Fark filters. She is the Nagivator.

//And she's Chinese

Nothing. I live 2K miles away on the west coast, so me an my fellow transplants will get the fireplace going and do the food coma thing.

There will be 2 kinds of duck served, as well as some sort of salmon. Cheeks, I think.

They did not die.