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(Grantland)   The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay   (grantland.com) divider line 273
    More: Amusing, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, tent city, Robert Pattinson  
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22370 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2011 at 12:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



273 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-11-14 11:39:02 AM
Is it wrong that I wish the cops would mistake this place for an "Occupy" site and tear gas it?
 
2011-11-14 11:46:45 AM
"I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight

Okay, what Farker said that?
 
2011-11-14 11:47:33 AM
A Twilight event, line, convention, etc. is like an all-you-can-rape buffet for an abusive, controlling guy.
 
2011-11-14 11:49:54 AM
"I listened to the books - I'm not a big reader"

a.espncdn.com


There's a shock.
 
2011-11-14 11:50:30 AM
I saw the word "men" in that headline, but I couldn't find any in the article.
 
2011-11-14 11:52:29 AM
a.espncdn.com

I'm a big Twilight fan. I've seen the movies, but not read the books. The books are too graphic.
 
2011-11-14 11:58:40 AM
i23.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 12:02:43 PM
Not one man card amongst them.
 
2011-11-14 12:24:58 PM
If you look close, you will notice that Stan Lee has a cameo appearance in the crowd.
 
2011-11-14 12:25:11 PM
a.espncdn.com

Well, I guess two "3"s and a "4" does kind of make a "10".
 
2011-11-14 12:25:40 PM

Mugato: [i23.photobucket.com image 576x324]


Win!
 
2011-11-14 12:25:41 PM

Quasar: A Twilight event, line, convention, etc. is like an all-you-can-rape buffet for an abusive, controlling guy.


thumbnails.hulu.com
/Hot
//Hey, wanna play play some gamecube?
 
2011-11-14 12:25:56 PM
What the hell is Twilight?
 
2011-11-14 12:25:59 PM
You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.
 
2011-11-14 12:26:22 PM
c.cslacker.com
 
2011-11-14 12:27:07 PM
Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.
 
2011-11-14 12:27:17 PM
What a fabulous article!
 
2011-11-14 12:27:24 PM
I've done a lot of things i'm not proud of to get laid, but there are limits.

/Hell, going to this after the croud dies down is really pushing those limits.
 
2011-11-14 12:27:41 PM
I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"
 
2011-11-14 12:27:58 PM
I'd rather do without.
 
2011-11-14 12:28:43 PM
metametameta: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.

^ this.

/NTTIAWWT
 
2011-11-14 12:29:36 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


^ That.
 
2011-11-14 12:29:44 PM

Ennuipoet: Is it wrong that I wish the cops would mistake this place for an "Occupy" site and tear gas it?


I would imagine that the Occupy movement would receive large sums of money if this were to happen.

And that one guy, Better my daughter do this than drugs. Really, those were the choices.
 
2011-11-14 12:29:58 PM
people got issues
 
2011-11-14 12:30:07 PM
Llllllllladies.
 
2011-11-14 12:31:27 PM
They should grow a pair....
 
2011-11-14 12:32:38 PM
Also this:

i263.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 12:33:43 PM
A lot of posters here really buy into machismo.
 
2011-11-14 12:34:04 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


Taking work off so you can spend days camped out in LA to see a horrible movie with horrible actors based on some of the worst writing to ever make the New York Times best seller list isn't worth just having sex. Especially considering these men are doing it for their wives in basically every case.
 
2011-11-14 12:34:38 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


I heard that those 'Twilight' movies have subliminal references to blowjobs that influence women to please their men.
 
2011-11-14 12:34:43 PM
The hardest part about being a male Twilight fan is having to tell you family you are gay.
 
2011-11-14 12:34:44 PM
fivehourfitness.com
 
2011-11-14 12:34:45 PM
NSFW warning, please subby, if you're going to link to a site showing that many vaginas.
 
2011-11-14 12:36:55 PM
a.espncdn.com

Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?
 
2011-11-14 12:39:53 PM
A lot of people too illiterate to even read Twilight. Sounds about right.
 
2011-11-14 12:39:56 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?


Not everyone has as many options in life as, say for instance, you or I.
 
2011-11-14 12:41:05 PM

Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"


I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.
 
2011-11-14 12:41:18 PM

myselfandi: If you look close


No.
 
2011-11-14 12:41:18 PM

offmymeds: [fivehourfitness.com image 448x260]


I can think of at least one good reason to camp out for twilight tickets, the same reason men do almost everything, to get laid.
 
2011-11-14 12:41:42 PM
Not sure why a photo essay is necessary. Whipped or gay. 'Nuff said.
 
2011-11-14 12:41:45 PM
I weep for humanity.
 
2011-11-14 12:42:07 PM

offmymeds: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

Not everyone has as many options in life as, say for instance, you or I.


I'm a foreveralone fugly motherfarker and I would not want to date a Twilight fan.
 
2011-11-14 12:42:13 PM
When I was young, vampires sucked blood... not dick.
 
2011-11-14 12:42:21 PM

JackieRabbit: What the hell is Twilight?


It's what you're pretending not to know about right now.
 
2011-11-14 12:42:33 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid by other men tonight photo essay.


/NTTAWWT
 
2011-11-14 12:42:53 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


I could show up to that line right now with a bag full of XXL Chalupas and get laid without having to wait in line for tickets to some shiatty movie.
 
2011-11-14 12:43:27 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?


Um. that's a chick.

I like the one with the antlers though.

/Usually anlters turn me off. not this time. Huh. go Figure.
 
2011-11-14 12:44:00 PM

swahnhennessy: A lot of people too illiterate to even read Twilight. Sounds about right.


Yeah I caught that too. "I'm not much of a reader".. yeah go figure.
 
2011-11-14 12:44:22 PM
Team Literature. If that's too hard for you, there's still Team Stephen King.
 
2011-11-14 12:44:43 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


There are limits.

/besides, they're friend zoned.
 
2011-11-14 12:47:09 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?


Well, he's not exactly a feast for the eyes himself. Also, I think that's a woman.
 
2011-11-14 12:48:59 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu: Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin?

probably because he realized he snapped that piece of shiat dog's neck on the barricade
 
2011-11-14 12:49:21 PM
You call that camping? Puh-leeze. Some of these guys look totally heterosexual.

Twilight Moms: they're just happy to have something they can share with their teenage daughters that doesn't involve choking, even if it is non-threatening boys*.

*To a given value of the term "boy"--some of these guys are about thirty.
 
2011-11-14 12:49:43 PM

Relatively Obscure: JackieRabbit: What the hell is Twilight?

It's what you're pretending not to know about right now.


I don't even own a bookshelf.
 
2011-11-14 12:50:09 PM
Was the national "Pussy Whipped" convention next door?
 
2011-11-14 12:51:02 PM
"Well, he's not exactly a feast for the eyes himself. Also, I think that's a woman."

You need to turn on your sarcasm detector.....
 
2011-11-14 12:51:05 PM
what a sad pathetic race we have become
 
2011-11-14 12:54:21 PM
a.espncdn.com
Richard (left): "We live right across the street, so this was really convenient.

Huh. I didn't realize the Nokia Theater had moved to Riverside.
 
2011-11-14 12:57:08 PM
a.espncdn.com
Adam: "I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight.

Wow, it's like the Bizarro World Hipster. He was totally into Twilight before it mainstream and sold out.
 
2011-11-14 12:58:35 PM
I liked this guy ("Don"):

a.espncdn.com

Caption: "I've see the movies but never read the books. I'm not a Twilight fan. I'm here for my daughter. I work at a hospital, so I had to take three days off. We got a hotel room, but we've been camping out for the past four nights. They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

See, this just proves that hockey fans are the best.

/Props to him for taking his daughter; if it wasn't this, it'd be some other tweeny BS, and he knows it, but does good by her anyway.
 
2011-11-14 12:59:22 PM
Billy: "I'm not a big reader."

Richard: "I've seen the movies, but not read the books."

Figures.

Janine: "Also, hockey fans are obnoxious."

But not as obnoxious as people who sleep out for days to see a movie that they could just wait a day for and buy a ticket for general admission, right?

/this country is in serious trouble
 
2011-11-14 12:59:32 PM
WTF?!?

Seriously, sparkly vampires? My wife read the first one years ago and was laughing at what was supposed to be the serious parts.

If you are going to make a movie about the undead, for the love of god make it scary.

Walking Dead > Twilight... and you don't even have to pay for it (or camp out).
 
2011-11-14 01:00:51 PM
FTA :

a.espncdn.com
"We're here for the honeymoon scene. But I don't think they'll show it - at least not the way I want to see it."

I can't decide if it's better or worse that he just wants to watch Kristen Stewart get her f**k on.
 
2011-11-14 01:03:09 PM

Cheron: offmymeds: [fivehourfitness.com image 448x260]

I can think of at least one good reason to camp out for twilight tickets, the same reason men do almost everything, to get laid.


Yea, but they are doing it wrong. That is a great way to make friends with women. Not to have them lust over you.
 
2011-11-14 01:03:30 PM
I can't think of a single movie premiere that I would camp out for it....unless, of course, it was Behind Snooki's Green Door: The Penicillin Years.
 
2011-11-14 01:04:50 PM
as i scrolled through the pictures, i wondered two things:

1.) what are their fark handles?
2.) how many of them have already posted in this thread?

/3.) profit?
 
2011-11-14 01:04:50 PM

gregory311: Billy: "I'm not a big reader."

Richard: "I've seen the movies, but not read the books."

Figures.

Janine: "Also, hockey fans are obnoxious."

But not as obnoxious as people who sleep out for days to see a movie that they could just wait a day for and buy a ticket for general admission, right?

/this country is in serious trouble



In fairness, this isn't just the local multiplex... They're camped out for the official "star-studded" premiere in hopes of seeing/meeting/getting autographs from the movie's stars on the red carpet.

Still ridiculous, but not quite "camping out at some random mall in suburbia for week" ridiculous.
 
2011-11-14 01:06:40 PM
a.espncdn.com

Mom's eyes are pointing in different directions?
 
2011-11-14 01:07:07 PM

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight
 
2011-11-14 01:08:48 PM

technicolor-misfit: gregory311: Billy: "I'm not a big reader."

Richard: "I've seen the movies, but not read the books."

Figures.

Janine: "Also, hockey fans are obnoxious."

But not as obnoxious as people who sleep out for days to see a movie that they could just wait a day for and buy a ticket for general admission, right?

/this country is in serious trouble


In fairness, this isn't just the local multiplex... They're camped out for the official "star-studded" premiere in hopes of seeing/meeting/getting autographs from the movie's stars on the red carpet.

Still ridiculous, but not quite "camping out at some random mall in suburbia for week" ridiculous.


See my last comment. :-)
 
2011-11-14 01:10:22 PM
FTFA:

Don: "I've see the movies but never read the books. I'm not a Twilight fan. I'm here for my daughter. I work at a hospital, so I had to take three days off. We got a hotel room, but we've been camping out for the past four nights. They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"


Two things:

1) If I asked my Dad to take off three days from work and pay for a hotel just so I could take part in a silly hobby.......he would say no, shake his head, and then tell me to mow the lawn.

2) The Kings fans speak THE TRUTH.
 
2011-11-14 01:13:30 PM
I feel very content that I have no idea WTF Twilight is.
 
2011-11-14 01:14:00 PM
i881.photobucket.com



Is this guy going to do a homage to the birthing scene Fark was talking about a few months ago?
 
2011-11-14 01:14:39 PM

rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.


I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.
 
2011-11-14 01:17:11 PM

AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


speak for yourself, man
 
2011-11-14 01:17:16 PM
Wow.

I weep for this country.

I love the snark in the article though.
 
2011-11-14 01:17:19 PM

Marine1: metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.

There are limits.

/besides, they're friend zoned.



And I think we have a winner.
 
2011-11-14 01:19:13 PM
So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.
 
2011-11-14 01:19:41 PM

BohemianGraham: metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight


Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

I really hate the series because it glorifies an abusive relationship and pedophilia (the werewolf adults "imprinting" on a toddler... it's not romantic it's called grooming).
 
2011-11-14 01:21:05 PM

Loomy: I liked this guy ("Don John Candy"):

a.espncdn.com

 
2011-11-14 01:21:30 PM

shortymac: BohemianGraham: metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

I really hate the series because it glorifies an abusive relationship and pedophilia (the werewolf adults "imprinting" on a toddler... it's not romantic it's called grooming).


The thing that makes it more amusing is that Meyer is Mormon.
 
2011-11-14 01:21:47 PM
As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.
 
2011-11-14 01:21:59 PM
My mom, sister-in-law and stepsisters all love Twilight and can't seem to understand why I won't read it.
 
2011-11-14 01:23:30 PM
I was expecting mincing and general wussiness but instead I saw a bunch of guys who seemed to be doing something nice for their wife/kids.
 
2011-11-14 01:24:39 PM

Porous Horace: So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.


Vampires are factual things, in that they are significant elements of both folklore and modern popular culture. They have a number of common characteristics or tropes. Twilight violates those tropes, but not to advance a plot point or to make a comment about literature and popular culture. It does so willy-nilly, 'just because'.

/Twilight is crap
//So is 99% of every other vampire, werewolf, or zombie produce from the last 40 years
///Most fans of horror are solipsistic, masochistic, or have underdeveloped affect.
 
2011-11-14 01:26:01 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Mom's eyes are pointing in different directions?


Same thing I was wondering.

At least she can keep an eye or two out for aliens while her family enjoys camping out in civilization for once. That's proof of a mother's love right there.
 
2011-11-14 01:26:25 PM

schief2: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Adam: "I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight.

Wow, it's like the Bizarro World Hipster. He was totally into Twilight before it mainstream and sold out.


He looks like he's there to get chicks.

But those aren't chicks most people want. I don't base that on appearance. I base that on the obvious stunted emotional growth and hallowed eyes they all have.

I work at a restaurant near where one of those Backstreet Boys/New Kids on the Block shows took place. The crowd that night was preferable to the Twilight premieres.
 
2011-11-14 01:26:40 PM
technicolor-misfit
FTA :
"We're here for the honeymoon scene. But I don't think they'll show it - at least not the way I want to see it."

I can't decide if it's better or worse that he just wants to watch Kristen Stewart get her f**k on.


He's there with his daughter complaining about how the honeymoon scene probably won't be hot enough for him. What a winner. Oh, and he's also there for farking Twilight, for fark's sake. A Twi-fam? Blech.
 
2011-11-14 01:29:38 PM

Mad_Radhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Well, I guess two "3"s and a "4" does kind of make a "10".

Adam: "I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight. One time, I met Robert Pattinson at Taco Bell."


This is so hipster I am wondering if he's there under duress and just trolling.
 
2011-11-14 01:29:59 PM
I"'m a big Twilight fan. I've seen the movies, but not read the books. The books are too graphic. But I'm really excited to see all the stars. They're all such wonderful actors. I got some great signatures already."

Just for this, and many other quotes from the article, several 'men' will recieve psychic cockpunches from me.
 
2011-11-14 01:30:15 PM

FrancoFile: Porous Horace: So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.

Vampires are factual things, in that they are significant elements of both folklore and modern popular culture. They have a number of common characteristics or tropes. Twilight violates those tropes, but not to advance a plot point or to make a comment about literature and popular culture. It does so willy-nilly, 'just because'.

/Twilight is crap
//So is 99% of every other vampire, werewolf, or zombie produce from the last 40 years
///Most fans of horror are solipsistic, masochistic, or have underdeveloped affect.


Kind of like how Jesus ruined stories about Zombies.
 
2011-11-14 01:32:44 PM
As a Kings fan who saw these horrible creatures the other day after the Kings destroyed the Wild, I was pretty shocked to see that there were a lot of men there.

/Saw a group throw a hot dog and a group of twihard girls.
 
2011-11-14 01:33:24 PM
I had a decent experience with the first movie... but then again, I watched on TV with 10 friends trying as hard as possible to ruin it for the girl who picked the channel.

The baseball sequence made me realize something though; there really needs to be a Mutant League Football movie.
 
2011-11-14 01:33:35 PM
I'll just leave this here...

The filthy critic reviews LOTR with his "vampyre" cousin (new window).

Best movie reviewer of all time! It's a shame he gave it up :(
 
2011-11-14 01:33:49 PM

WTF Indeed: I saw the word "men" in that headline, but I couldn't find any in the article.


Alas, there was only one.

"I've see the movies but never read the books. I'm not a Twilight fan. I'm here for my daughter.

Men will do all kinds of stupid shiat for their daughters. I've seen Mylie Cyrus *and* Taylor Swift live.
 
2011-11-14 01:33:50 PM

shortymac: BohemianGraham: metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

I really hate the series because it glorifies an abusive relationship and pedophilia (the werewolf adults "imprinting" on a toddler... it's not romantic it's called grooming).


My thoughts exactly. I only read 90% of the first one, and watched the first film, after copious amounts of alcohol were involved. I agree with everything you said, as the whole thing is an abusive relationship. I'd only want to see this one to see how the hell they could even make this PG with the birthing scene.

My mother got an e-mail from her school saying that they're doing a special advanced showing at the local theatre for 200 of community collage students, with discounts on snacks, and she, knowing how much I hate the books, told me it was too bad it was on a Thursday night, and my car's broken (and already at her place), so I can't drive home to go with her to make fun of the movie. My mom is awesome.

brigid_fitch: As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.


This. I pre-ordered the last Potter film back in September on Blu-ray, and made fish finger cookies and custard for my friends this past weekend, yet Twilight disgusts me, and I can't help but laugh and make fun of the poor saps who fall for this crap.
 
2011-11-14 01:35:50 PM
From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...
 
2011-11-14 01:38:57 PM
My dad likes the movies. A lot of the "wtf" has been drained from my opinion on the matter. I just sort of stare at him blankly and hang my head when he gets all excited that a new one is coming out.
 
2011-11-14 01:40:18 PM

AcneVulgaris: I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


Yeah, but said poon is connected to Fat Chicks who like Twilight.
 
2011-11-14 01:43:16 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


Not even in the same ballpark as 'worth it'.
 
2011-11-14 01:44:08 PM

shortymac: /I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!!


You can add me to the "girls who hate Twilight" list. I read the books out of absolute sheer boredom while suffering from chronic insomnia. I cannot understand their appeal--Mary-Sue main character, 2-dimensional supporting cast, boring, predictable plotlines, all horribly written. The entire series boils down to "Mousy, awkward nobody is instantly the center of attention at new school, ends up with a creepy stalker pedo who beats the crap out of her on their wedding night, but it's okay because he didn't really mean it."

/The one and only advantage to reading those books: I can yell at the Twi-tards without being a hypocrite. I read the books--I KNOW how pathetic they are.
//Then I give them a copy of The Hunger Games.
 
2011-11-14 01:46:45 PM
Porous Horace

So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.


I once "staked" a female vampire wannabe freak whose 'youwho' was all sparkly - then I realised it was just glitter.

/then it was just all matted
 
2011-11-14 01:49:41 PM

WTF Indeed: I saw the word "men" in that headline, but I couldn't find any in the article.


The hockey fans?
 
2011-11-14 01:54:05 PM

The Homer Tax: AcneVulgaris: I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.

Yeah, but said poon is connected to Fat Chicks who like Twilight.


I like a juicy fat girl, yes, I do, but I don't so much care for the Twilighters. Too much phoney-romantic idealism at work. That leads to intolerable an relationship.
 
2011-11-14 01:55:40 PM

szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...


Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...
 
2011-11-14 01:57:28 PM

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


You just described 85% of American women...

/misogyny, it's what's for breakfast!
 
2011-11-14 01:58:39 PM
That's a rather unfortunate looking group of people.
 
2011-11-14 01:58:54 PM
Why aren't the police breaking this up with tear gas?
 
2011-11-14 01:59:05 PM

Allen. The end.: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...


Yes, and yes.
 
2011-11-14 02:00:44 PM

schief2: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Richard (left): "We live right across the street, so this was really convenient.

Huh. I didn't realize the Nokia Theater had moved to Riverside.


Whenever I hear the term "brain-dead white trash", I will forever see this photo in my head. The icing on the cake is the puke tattoo on his wife's chest. CLASSY.
 
2011-11-14 02:03:15 PM
"My daughter made our shirts, and for a specific reason: We're on Team Kristen. Here, look at the back ..."

a.espncdn.com
 
2011-11-14 02:04:44 PM

IAAl: "My daughter made our shirts, and for a specific reason: We're on Team Kristen. Here, look at the back ..."

[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]


I don't understand what this is referring to. I guess that is a plus for me.

/please don't explain either.
 
2011-11-14 02:05:05 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark:
I like a juicy fat girl, yes, I do, but I don't so much care for the Twilighters. Too much phoney-romantic idealism at work. That leads to intolerable an relationship.


I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

2.bp.blogspot.com

You want to talk about unattainable expectations? No one really expects you to be a sparkly undead hardbody, but you better take her out to dinner every night and pick her up in a towncar. Or you don't really love her...
 
2011-11-14 02:06:27 PM

Allen. The end.: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...


John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?
 
2011-11-14 02:10:18 PM
As much as I dislike Twilight on principle, I still have to go with Kevin Smith's take on the whole phenomenon.
 
2011-11-14 02:10:33 PM

brigid_fitch: As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.


The difference between everything you supported and Twilight is simple: they all have at least somewhat positive messages (hell, I can't stand Harry Potter, but I see some genuinely positive upsides to it).

Twilight, though...there's just so much "ick" in the messages of Twilight I honestly don't know where to begin.

/didn't read the books
//read Cleolinda's recaps, which, for the money and time, were much better
///would find Twilight silly if it weren't really, really creepy

chitlenz: Best movie reviewer of all time! It's a shame he gave it up :(


Yeah, what the hell happened to that guy? I was so disappointed when I discovered he stopped posting.
 
2011-11-14 02:12:06 PM

Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?


Yeah! Well, his early work, anyway. Now I like his "stand-up" stuff. But "Desperate Living" is a tried-and-true litmus test for determining who you want to hang out with.
 
2011-11-14 02:12:32 PM

Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.


False dichotomy.
 
2011-11-14 02:12:42 PM
They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.
 
2011-11-14 02:14:06 PM
Reminds me of when I went with some girlfriends to see "Puppetry of the Penis"

The gays were well represented, as were the groups of "girl's night out"-ers.

Then there were the couples. You could just tell the guy did something wrong, and this was punishment. They were not there voluntarily.

And, I'm betting they didn't get laid that night, but their wife/girlfriend tried making shapes with their penis. That mighta hurt the un-trained penis.

Now, these guys at Twilight? Well, far too many of them look as if they are there voluntarily. Either gay or the wifey/girlfriend has custody of the ballsack would be my guess. That, and there are a lot of freaks in the world.
 
2011-11-14 02:14:22 PM

Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?


Cronenberg is the one that's not from the U.S., not Waters. David Cronenberg is Canadian. Which is still technically "American" depending on the intended usage.

Although I might entertain the argument that Waters is from a whole other planet.
 
2011-11-14 02:18:28 PM

Allen. The end.: Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?

Yeah! Well, his early work, anyway. Now I like his "stand-up" stuff. But "Desperate Living" is a tried-and-true litmus test for determining who you want to hang out with.


Ah okay. I just wasn't sure. I didn't think he'd done that much that was interesting. Maybe I should go back a bit.

Splinshints: Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?

Cronenberg is the one that's not from the U.S., not Waters. David Cronenberg is Canadian. Which is still technically "American" depending on the intended usage.

Although I might entertain the argument that Waters is from a whole other planet.


Well regardless of where he's from, I just am not all the impressed with Waters.
 
2011-11-14 02:19:12 PM

brigid_fitch: shortymac: /I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!!

You can add me to the "girls who hate Twilight" list. I read the books out of absolute sheer boredom while suffering from chronic insomnia. I cannot understand their appeal--Mary-Sue main character, 2-dimensional supporting cast, boring, predictable plotlines, all horribly written. The entire series boils down to "Mousy, awkward nobody is instantly the center of attention at new school, ends up with a creepy stalker pedo who beats the crap out of her on their wedding night, but it's okay because he didn't really mean it."

/The one and only advantage to reading those books: I can yell at the Twi-tards without being a hypocrite. I read the books--I KNOW how pathetic they are.
//Then I give them a copy of The Hunger Games.


All you girls-that-hate-twilight sure have read a whole lot of it and know quite a bit about it. Well, I suppose you can't hate something you know nothing about.
 
2011-11-14 02:20:48 PM

chookbillion: A lot of posters here really buy into machismo.


I don't really get into this discussion often. To me, being a man isn't about how many people you can beat up, how much you can drink or how many power tools you own (though there's certainly nothing wrong with these things). It's about taking care of your responsibilities, working to better society, and conducting yourself in a manner that allows you look in a mirror and respect what you see.

I don't have anything against Twilight, at least more so than any other goofy zero-calorie form of entertainment. But taking several days off of work at the behest of your dead-eyed, illiterate wife/progeny so that you can be a street person while waiting for a stupid movie?

I don't do this often. At all. But MAN CARD REVOKED.
 
2011-11-14 02:20:49 PM

Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.


Entirely appropriate analogy.
 
2011-11-14 02:21:56 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu:
a.espncdn.com
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?
 
2011-11-14 02:22:00 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 02:22:06 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 02:22:57 PM

IAAl: "My daughter made our shirts, and for a specific reason: We're on Team Kristen. Here, look at the back ..."

[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]


Is that shirt on a human being or is it on some kind of mannequin/scarecrow?
 
2011-11-14 02:24:07 PM

PYROY: Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.


1/10
 
2011-11-14 02:27:25 PM

Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.



Speaking of somebody who has dated both types, I'd rather go out with a Sex and the City fan.
 
2011-11-14 02:27:31 PM

Beluga Heights: Well regardless of where he's from, I just am not all the impressed with Waters.


Yea, I don't get the draw either. I've always been of the opinion that if your only real talent is shock and vulgarity it's because you don't have any real talents. Grotesque can be interesting, I just don't think it can be interesting in and of itself.
 
2011-11-14 02:28:32 PM
Not really a good looking bunch.
 
2011-11-14 02:28:43 PM
They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Hockey fans rule so hard.

That being said, the guy hoping to see Kristen Stewart get her fark on in this is doomed to disappointment considering that in the book the farking was skimmed over except for Edward breaking the bed and very nearly Bella, who only coos about finally being close to him. I read the books more out of curiosity since so many women around me were going apeshiat over them. There's six hours of my life lost to godawful Mary Sueing I'll never get back. They made me sicker than the stomach flu I had at the time.

/on Team Twilight Blows Goats
 
2011-11-14 02:28:45 PM
I'm on team "Seres Victoria wastes them all with one shot from her Harkonen Cannon."
 
2011-11-14 02:29:25 PM

PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.


Bingo. +1

i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 02:30:55 PM

schief2: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Richard (left): "We live right across the street, so this was really convenient.

Huh. I didn't realize the Nokia Theater had moved to Riverside.


909'ers
 
2011-11-14 02:32:20 PM
twilightseriestheories.com
 
2011-11-14 02:33:43 PM

PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.




Personally, I have a strong feeling that you were always picked last in sports.
 
2011-11-14 02:34:47 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


That's the joke.jpg.
 
2011-11-14 02:34:55 PM

Trocadero: [twilightseriestheories.com image 365x200]



Heh.

/Kept hoping that Ron Swanson would shoot off his knees with a 12 gauge.
 
2011-11-14 02:34:56 PM

Allen. The end.: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...


Cronenberg is Canadian.
 
2011-11-14 02:37:16 PM
#OccupyForks
 
2011-11-14 02:39:05 PM

Splinshints: Beluga Heights: Well regardless of where he's from, I just am not all the impressed with Waters.

Yea, I don't get the draw either. I've always been of the opinion that if your only real talent is shock and vulgarity it's because you don't have any real talents. Grotesque can be interesting, I just don't think it can be interesting in and of itself.


I don't necessarily love Waters, but his use of grotesque is not without purpose. He's basically a bitter version of Tim Burton.
 
2011-11-14 02:40:06 PM

VimFuego: Is that shirt on a human being or is it on some kind of mannequin/scarecrow?


It is on what at one time was a human being and now is a dried up husk.
 
2011-11-14 02:43:50 PM
cdntheologianscholar.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 02:45:12 PM

Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.


Nope. That would be if they implied that those were the only two categories that existed. That was simply a comparison between the two.

For example, saying "I'd rather own a Ford than a Chevy," isn't a false dichotomy. Saying "Ford is the best car maker because Chevy sucks," is.
 
2011-11-14 02:46:48 PM
Ghey!

/NTTAWWT
 
2011-11-14 02:47:00 PM
I'm not a Twilight fan, but I have to say; I think it might be enjoyable to do something kind of like this. Maybe I'm just weird?

First, at it's core, you've just got a bunch of people sitting around and doing nothing. So it's pretty similar to camping or fishing or tailgating....a lot of people enjoy that stuff. Only, here, you would have a disproportionate amount of young women. Cha-ching! A social situation where everyone is just 'sitting around' and outside, where being quite for formal isn't expected is about as good as it gets for meeting people.
 
2011-11-14 02:47:34 PM

This text is now purple: Cronenberg is Canadian.


Crap! You are correct, sir.
 
2011-11-14 02:50:46 PM

szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...


I saw five minutes of one of the movies once. It almost made me want to throw up. That said, I would see them without question if David Lynch had directed them.

/kcor s'teL
 
2011-11-14 02:51:29 PM
 
2011-11-14 02:51:52 PM

The_Sponge: Trocadero: [twilightseriestheories.com image 365x200]


Heh.

/Kept hoping that Ron Swanson would shoot off his knees with a 12 gauge.


•"I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department. And that includes the men."
 
2011-11-14 02:52:23 PM

brigid_fitch: As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.


THIS

/can't find my repeating bear or he'd be here too
 
2011-11-14 02:52:28 PM

thebigfarker: I've done a lot of things i'm not proud of to get laid, but there are limits.

/Hell, going to this after the croud dies down is really pushing those limits.


FTFY
/ now says what you REALLY mean.
// Twilght: Breaking Wind (LOL!)
 
2011-11-14 02:52:34 PM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 02:53:36 PM

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


It's soft porn. Every author has something like it on his or her hard drive--the backbone of writing, after all, is that you see all of these stories and how they go wrong, so you fix the stories...and just apply it to eroticism.

However, most of us have enough IQ points to not publish them.

/Seriously. Stephanie Myers may be rolling in cash, but she shames all true literature and authors by printing that POS.
//I mean, if you're going to write for Harlequin, write for farking Harlequin and get over it.
 
2011-11-14 02:56:54 PM

linuxpyro: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

I saw five minutes of one of the movies once. It almost made me want to throw up. That said, I would see them without question if David Lynch had directed them.

/kcor s'teL


You owe it to yourself to watch the first movie with RiffTrax. It's absolutely hysterical.
 
2011-11-14 02:57:18 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


Getting pegged doesn't count.
 
2011-11-14 02:57:50 PM

Fear the Clam: metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.

Getting pegged doesn't count.


kinky.
 
2011-11-14 02:59:02 PM
I would stand in line for my daughters sake (if I had one),but have zero/zero interest in that kind of stuff ,or that harry potter shtick either.
Want a good read?
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain ,appallingly hysterical and appallingly....appalling
 
2011-11-14 03:00:28 PM

The_Sponge: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

Speaking of somebody who has dated both types, I'd rather go out with a Sex and the City fan.


THIS. It's been my experience that the Twi-tards tend to refer to the male gender as "boys". And SatC women don't need a limo and five star restaurant (a woman who does is simply a biatch, regardless of which media they take in)...they just want respect; acknowledgment of the fact that they are independent women.

Twi-tards identify with a young girl with zero personality who wants to be led around and treated like property.

I'll take a strong woman every day.
 
2011-11-14 03:04:03 PM

AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


If there is one thing I have learned from reading Fark comments it would be "Dont. Stick. Your. Dick. In. Crazy."
 
2011-11-14 03:04:31 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


It might be male, but it's definitely a horse.
 
2011-11-14 03:10:35 PM

ProfessorOhki: Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.

Nope. That would be if they implied that those were the only two categories that existed. That was simply a comparison between the two.

For example, saying "I'd rather own a Ford than a Chevy," isn't a false dichotomy. Saying "Ford is the best car maker because Chevy sucks," is.


By only presenting the two options, it is implied that those are the only choices.
 
2011-11-14 03:11:07 PM

The Homer Tax: AcneVulgaris: I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.

Yeah, but said poon is connected to Fat Chicks who like Twilight.


You just gotta man up, throw a fistful of glitter in the air, and whip out your harpoon. It'll all work out.
 
2011-11-14 03:12:22 PM

bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.


A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?
 
2011-11-14 03:14:09 PM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2011-11-14 03:21:22 PM

Knara: ProfessorOhki: Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.

Nope. That would be if they implied that those were the only two categories that existed. That was simply a comparison between the two.

For example, saying "I'd rather own a Ford than a Chevy," isn't a false dichotomy. Saying "Ford is the best car maker because Chevy sucks," is.

By only presenting the two options, it is implied that those are the only choices.


No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.
 
2011-11-14 03:22:31 PM

Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?


Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.
 
2011-11-14 03:23:02 PM
My boyfriend is never allowed to make fun of me again for waiting in line 8 hours to see Episode I. It could have been much, much worse.
 
2011-11-14 03:25:08 PM

Rent Party: Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.


Interestingly, Twilight is about a shallow, vacuous, spoiled woman with unreasonable expectations about how men (who are vampires and werewolves) should treat them.
 
2011-11-14 03:27:18 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


OMG! Is that a Pocket Dog he has? I certainly hope someone revoked his Guy Card...
 
2011-11-14 03:34:02 PM

Rent Party: No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.


Derp.
 
2011-11-14 03:37:30 PM

Knara: Rent Party: No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.

Derp.


On your way, then, Aristotle.
 
2011-11-14 03:37:48 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 03:40:10 PM

basemetal: Not one man card amongst them.


This. Genetics may make them males but their actions do not make them men

thechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 03:42:08 PM

bigmattress: acknowledgment of the fact that they are independent women.


Ironic giving that they're being identified, in this case, primarily by their interest in a show in which the main characters are defined primarily by their dysfunctional interactions with and longing for men and unreasonable attachments to arbitrary material goods designed to make them look pretty for men....

As someone who was subjected to both movies and much of the TV show by my wife, I never got that whole "it's about independent women" thing. The main character's entire driving purpose seems to be to her desire to attach herself to a strong male partner that will define her role in life for her. Another one is just a disgusting slut who becomes an absurd caricature of a strong woman by being cast in such an over-the-top maneater role that the whole thing becomes satirical by the end of the first season, the brown-haired one is your typical pretty princess archetype from the 50s and the red-haired one that is supposed to be the most independent and strong-willed of the four is the worst of all. She is ultimately subverted into a traditional domestic role by a husband that wins that title by brow-beating her into marriage after he knocks her up with one nut. She effectively is his prey and ultimately becomes everything that typifies a domineering male-female relationship.

That show was really stupid and I resent the fact that I had to watch enough of it to be able to write that prior paragraph....
 
2011-11-14 03:42:49 PM

Rent Party: Knara: Rent Party: No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.

Derp.

On your way, then, Aristotle.


You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.
 
2011-11-14 03:48:33 PM

8DragonFark: AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.

If there is one thing I have learned from reading Fark comments it would be "Dont. Stick. Your. Dick. In. Crazy."


Crazy sex is good sex but you need an escape plan and don't let them know where you live or work.
 
2011-11-14 03:48:59 PM

AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


Unfortunately, each one is attached to a fully-grown 200+ lb mentally disabled person or a 10-17 year old mentally disabled person. Why not just go hoggin' at the bar where you can get sauced and they keep out the tweens?
 
2011-11-14 03:49:08 PM

Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.


I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.
 
2011-11-14 03:51:44 PM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 03:52:08 PM
www.lolwtfcomics.com
 
2011-11-14 03:53:31 PM
roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 03:53:43 PM
s11.bdbphotos.com
 
2011-11-14 03:54:37 PM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 04:01:40 PM
i44.tinypic.com

...and for this special family outing, Hacksaw Jim Duggan lent his crossed-eye to his wife, "just this once."
 
2011-11-14 04:03:53 PM
To all you Tweens and weird dudes:

This is what a vampire looks like!!

i42.tinypic.com

(Not a 90210 character)
 
2011-11-14 04:04:35 PM
The homely women who showed up at this premiere were hoping to get laid by Robt Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. The effete men who showed up at this premiere were hoping to get laid by Robt Pattinson and Taylor Lautner
 
2011-11-14 04:08:38 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


Oh god, thats the 4th time seeing that photo so far and i just noticed the dog in his(?) pocket.
 
2011-11-14 04:09:19 PM
dobrochan.ru
 
2011-11-14 04:10:49 PM

Hipchewy1: I weep for humanity.


Oh, stop weeping. People who "weep for humanity" are annoying. Of course Twilight is totally gay. Not the NPH cool gay but the Andy Dick gay gay. But weep for humanity? Name an era that didn't have some stupid shiat that people flocked to.
 
2011-11-14 04:14:33 PM

Cyno01: Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?

Oh god, thats the 4th time seeing that photo so far and i just noticed the dog in his(?) pocket.


The dog is probably wondering "Why, God? WHY?"
 
2011-11-14 04:15:05 PM

900RR: To all you Tweens and weird dudes:

This is what a vampire looks like!!

[i42.tinypic.com image 540x401]

(Not a 90210 character)



Also this:

i623.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 04:15:19 PM
Another vampire:

i43.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 04:16:06 PM
After my girlfriend dragged me to 'the happening' I command veto power on all movies we see. I have not seen a crappy movie in theatres since, and there has been a lot of awful movies she has gone to. Yes, she is excited to see twilight. Maybe the flames play that night, would work out for both of us.
 
2011-11-14 04:18:05 PM

The_Sponge: 900RR: To all you Tweens and weird dudes:

This is what a vampire looks like!!

[i42.tinypic.com image 540x401]

(Not a 90210 character)


Also this:

[i623.photobucket.com image 640x426]


I was just about to post the same pic but you beat me!! Your Fark-Fu is impressive. Loved Fright Night.
 
2011-11-14 04:18:46 PM
Team Alice.

i70.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 04:20:33 PM

Mugato: Hipchewy1: I weep for humanity.

Oh, stop weeping. People who "weep for humanity" are annoying. Of course Twilight is totally gay. Not the NPH cool gay but the Andy Dick gay gay. But weep for humanity? Name an era that didn't have some stupid shiat that people flocked to.


Heh, Andy Dick is an unfunny douchebag.
 
2011-11-14 04:21:34 PM
Another real vampire:

i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 04:23:03 PM
www.dirjournal.com
 
2011-11-14 04:24:10 PM

900RR: I was just about to post the same pic but you beat me!! Your Fark-Fu is impressive. Loved Fright Night.



It scared the crap out of me when I was 9, but IMHO, it's the best vampire movie from the 80s.
 
2011-11-14 04:29:54 PM
This is what a vampire looks like!!

www.usmagazine.com


Am I doing it right?
 
2011-11-14 04:32:54 PM

The_Sponge: 900RR: I was just about to post the same pic but you beat me!! Your Fark-Fu is impressive. Loved Fright Night.


It scared the crap out of me when I was 9, but IMHO, it's the best vampire movie from the 80s.


You may be right! If you liked Salem's Lot, check out The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler with Darren McGavin... two kick ass early 70s TV movies with scary as hell vampires. You can get them both on a double-bill DVD.

i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 04:34:24 PM

900RR: You may be right! If you liked Salem's Lot, check out The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler with Darren McGavin... two kick ass early 70s TV movies with scary as hell vampires. You can get them both on a double-bill DVD.



I'm way ahead of you.....I saw that via Netflix years ago.

/Good stuff.
 
2011-11-14 04:37:50 PM

VimFuego: This is what a vampire looks like!!

[www.usmagazine.com image 338x468]


Am I doing it right?


Yes. Yes you are.

img001.lazygirls.info
 
2011-11-14 04:39:22 PM

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


I was dragged to the first two movies by a friend who was obsessed with the books. I could get over the sparkles and teen love story aspect but what I couldn't get over was the sheer unlikeability of all the main characters.
 
2011-11-14 04:43:37 PM

900RR: Another real vampire:

[i41.tinypic.com image 640x360]


Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) was pretty badass. Great adaptation, if a little over stylized. Gary Oldman rocked as the bat-man. It managed to incorporate the romance angle without neglecting that he was a farking monster. And he had better taste in women than ole sparkly.

i.fanpix.net
 
2011-11-14 04:44:12 PM
I would have loved to see a bunch of drunk hockey fans yell at the Twilight campers. Would have been better if it was Philly though.
 
2011-11-14 04:44:38 PM
they still make eunics?
 
2011-11-14 04:47:19 PM
"Yeah, I love that dude...that umm.... thats the vampire... and the wolf one too..........

Want to share my tent?"
 
2011-11-14 05:01:40 PM

Rent Party: Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.

I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.


It's okay. Someday you'll feel good about yourself.
 
2011-11-14 05:02:34 PM

Rent Party: Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?

Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.


OK, now please tell us what Twilight is about in such simple terms, and why you would rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into Sex and the City.

I charge you, sir, to defend Twilight.
 
2011-11-14 05:03:34 PM
I'm glad my current GF never forces me to watch Twilight with her. I guess it's because if she tries to make me watch those, I'll also aggressively invite her to watching my zombie movies lol!
 
2011-11-14 05:04:58 PM
9.i.blip.tv

You're saying the reasons Edward sucks is because he's gay, too sensitive, or should be MORE VIOLENT?

So that in addition to being emotionally abusive, you want him to be violent, sadistic, and PHYSICALLY abuse as well?

"I hate Twilight because Edward is a creepy, manipulative, controlling, overprotective stalker".
 
2011-11-14 05:08:54 PM
www.bsckids.com

Bella Swan's ubiquitous "cock goes here" look.

www.fantasybooksandmovies.com

Cock goes here.

images.wikia.com

I'm about to suck your cock right here.

2.bp.blogspot.com

Cock. Bring it. I am sucking it.
 
2011-11-14 05:12:25 PM

Oznog: [www.bsckids.com image 500x292]

Bella Swan's ubiquitous "cock goes here" look.

[www.fantasybooksandmovies.com image 350x164]

Cock goes here.

[images.wikia.com image 300x429]

I'm about to suck your cock right here.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x480]

Cock. Bring it. I am sucking it.


Oh, is that what it is. I thought it was her waaaay too much botox face.
 
2011-11-14 05:12:38 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


By each each other.
 
2011-11-14 05:20:24 PM

Oznog: [www.bsckids.com image 500x292]

Bella Swan's ubiquitous "cock goes here" look.

[www.fantasybooksandmovies.com image 350x164]

Cock goes here.

[images.wikia.com image 300x429]

I'm about to suck your cock right here.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x480]

Cock. Bring it. I am sucking it.


Quoth Beavis: "Is she a zombie? I mean, she just sits there with her mouth open.."
 
2011-11-14 05:20:33 PM

Oznog: [9.i.blip.tv image 120x68]

You're saying the reasons Edward sucks is because he's gay, too sensitive, or should be MORE VIOLENT?

So that in addition to being emotionally abusive, you want him to be violent, sadistic, and PHYSICALLY abuse as well?

"I hate Twilight because Edward is a creepy, manipulative, controlling, overprotective stalker".


Oh forgot the link:
The Real Reason Guys Should Hate Twilight (new window)
 
2011-11-14 05:22:16 PM

Rent Party: Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.

I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.


Link (new window)
 
2011-11-14 05:23:49 PM

Oznog: Oznog: [9.i.blip.tv image 120x68]

You're saying the reasons Edward sucks is because he's gay, too sensitive, or should be MORE VIOLENT?

So that in addition to being emotionally abusive, you want him to be violent, sadistic, and PHYSICALLY abuse as well?

"I hate Twilight because Edward is a creepy, manipulative, controlling, overprotective stalker".

Oh forgot the link:
The Real Reason Guys Should Hate Twilight (new window)


"It's badly-written crap" isn't enough?
 
2011-11-14 05:24:32 PM

shortymac: Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.


The Rifftrax makes it all worth while.

/line?
 
2011-11-14 05:26:46 PM
Who's your daddy?

i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 05:27:12 PM

Oznog: Oh forgot the link:
The Real Reason Guys Should Hate Twilight (new window)


Really?
"Here is an easy to follow guide for the guys on the right versus the wrong reasons to hate on Twilight. With the release of New Moon, there has been an awful lot of sexist, homophobic, patriarchal crap floating around the internet and I just wanted to set the record straight."

"I hate sexists. Also, if you have a penis, so here's how you should think."
 
2011-11-14 05:31:04 PM

Relatively Obscure: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

I'm a big Twilight fan. I've seen the movies, but not read the books. The books are too graphic.


Well, to be fair, Breaking Dawn features a fetus that breaks the spine of her mother, and then needs to be removed via c-section... using its father's teeth to rip through the uterus.

And then the werewolf boyfriend 'imprints' on the newborn.

I am not making this up.
 
2011-11-14 05:32:03 PM
Let there be a blood bath!!!

i43.tinypic.com

Patience, fledgling.
 
2011-11-14 05:44:26 PM

Mugato: shortymac: Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

The Rifftrax makes it all worth while.

/line?


No, what you want is Twilight: The Broodening (new window)
which then links to the sequels Broodening Harder, Twilight 3: Electric Broodaloo, and a trailer for Twilight 4: Broodening Dawn.

Damn they nailed the plot and character problems all over.... and Bella's "Foamy The Squirrel" voice, me likey!
 
2011-11-14 05:46:07 PM

Knara: Rent Party: Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.

I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.

It's okay. Someday you'll feel good about yourself.


Probably. You're always going to be stupid, though.
 
2011-11-14 05:49:21 PM

Oznog: No, what you want is Twilight: The Broodening (new window)
which then links to the sequels Broodening Harder, Twilight 3: Electric Broodaloo, and a trailer for Twilight 4: Broodening Dawn.

Damn they nailed the plot and character problems all over.... and Bella's "Foamy The Squirrel" voice, me likey!


I'll check that out later but Rifftrax really does kick ass. It's the Mystery Science Theater guys. The SyFy Channel assholes canceling MST3K was the best thing to happen to those guys.
 
2011-11-14 05:53:46 PM

bigmattress: Rent Party: Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?

Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.

OK, now please tell us what Twilight is about in such simple terms, and why you would rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into Sex and the City.

I charge you, sir, to defend Twilight.


Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"
 
2011-11-14 05:54:38 PM
 
2011-11-14 05:55:17 PM

Mugato: "I listened to the books - I'm not a big reader"
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
There's a shock.


I used to listen to books, then I discovered books on tape - they're really an improvement (not so much in this case).
 
2011-11-14 06:03:46 PM

Rent Party:
Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"


You've defended Twilight nicely. Sleep well.
 
2011-11-14 06:05:42 PM
I briefly considered joining the Taliban on reading that article.
 
2011-11-14 06:10:49 PM
Oznog:

Totally unrelated to the thread but Oznog do you play UO on Chessy? You just have no EIP.
 
2011-11-14 06:12:03 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Somebody made an entire series of gay porn called "Twinklight": Trailer (SFW) (new window)

I gotta say, Twilight makes more sense as gay porn. Cable gets fixed and everything.
 
2011-11-14 06:12:10 PM

trippdogg: Mugato: "I listened to the books - I'm not a big reader"
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
There's a shock.

I used to listen to books, then I discovered books on tape - they're really an improvement (not so much in this case).


I'm not besmirching books on tape, they can be very convenient. That just struck me as funny as that gentleman indeed looks like he's not big on reading.
 
2011-11-14 06:14:37 PM
bluemoviereviews.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 06:22:12 PM

Mad_Radhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Well, I guess two "3"s and a "4" does kind of make a "10".


3s on the right and the 4 on the left?

Anyways, when I want vampires I go John Carpenter style.
 
2011-11-14 06:43:56 PM
People wonder why I hate pop culture. This. This is why.
 
2011-11-14 06:57:15 PM
bigmattress
I charge you, sir, to defend Twilight.


www.clusterfake.net
 
2011-11-14 07:36:37 PM

bigmattress: Rent Party:
Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"

You've defended Twilight nicely. Sleep well.




I would add that "Twilight" is pure escapist fantasy for its mostly juvenile audience whose tastes are still developing and growing.

"Sex and the City" is a deadly-serious aspirational roadmap for middle-aged women who should farking well know better by now.

At least some undefined portion of the "Twilight" nimrods have a chance of outgrowing that nonsense... The "Sex and the City" twits have done pretty much all of the growing they are ever going to do, and even with three or four decades of personal development time under their belts, they STILL haven't managed to get past obsessing over shiny objects like a pack of overgrown rodents.
 
2011-11-14 08:02:38 PM
I saw a facebook page titled "Back in my day vampires sucked blood, not cock!"
 
2011-11-14 08:14:55 PM
I read the entire Twilight saga. The New York farking Times said it was good. I went to my summer cottage armed only with the swell, entire series. It is about a young, vapid girl who does nothing and thinks nothing. Men, vampires and werewolves keep rescuing her. She's madly in love with the vampire and wants to be just like him, i.e., dead. They marry, he knocks her up, while almost killing her with his virulent deathmanity. Her fetus grows at an alarming rate, breaks her spine, he chews the fetus out of her, turns her into a vampire. The werewolf falls in love with the fetus. It's appallingly bad. So, bad. So very, very bad.
 
2011-11-14 08:21:52 PM
images4.cpcache.com
 
2011-11-14 09:41:02 PM
they look Mormon
 
2011-11-14 11:57:06 PM
I always wanted a daughter but if the price of that is having to endure crap like the "Twilight Saga" I praise Allah that he only gave me sons!
 
2011-11-15 12:07:10 AM

Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?


THIS x1000
 
2011-11-15 12:19:35 AM

hundreddollarman: Team Alice.

[i70.photobucket.com image 640x412]


Team Jessica.

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2011-11-15 12:30:24 AM

rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.


See man this is why I mess with you. You are literally so scared of talking to a woman you haven't farked in 5 years, but you dog these dudes.
 
2011-11-15 01:19:08 AM

900RR: PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.

Bingo. +1

[i41.tinypic.com image 299x441]



Guess what, sports fans: you're nerds too. Suck it up, football fanatics and baseball buffs. You're just as bad as, if not worse than, any Star Trek, Star Wars, or Twilight fan. You're jersey-wearing, game-watching, collectible-buying starstruck fanboys and fangirls, gathering with your friends to celebrate what you love. You'll wait in line for hours for tickets, wear the jerseys of your favorite players (essentially another form of cosplay, only it's more socially acceptable, for some unfortunate reason), you'll throw parties on game nights...you do it all, and yet you have the brass cajones to consider all of that that "normal" and "real" compared to sci-fi/fantasy fandom. Real? NORMAL?!? Please, watch any of these dumbass games and consider how much these self-important, juiced-up jerk-offs get paid way too much to run around a field or court with a ball or another item in their hands and tell me again how normal and real it all is.

Actually, when you really stop to think about it, sports fans are even bigger nerds than sci-fi/fantasy fans, because the vast majority of the latter only do their costuming or fan-related stuff at events that encourage it. Sports fans, however, will go around with their team logo ties, team jackets, the aforementioned jerseys, to normal and everyday places! With a few shocking and disturbing exceptions (see the movie Trekkies if you wanna know what I mean), you don't see nearly as many Star Trek fans running around the grocery store in Klingon or Romulan costumes, and you don't see any guys stalking the malls dressed like Edward Cullen. Well, actually you do, but they're just being emo.

So, these Twi-hards hanging out waiting for this movie are no different, no better or worse than the sports fans who tailgate next to stadiums before a big game starts. It's the same basic behavior but for a different event and venue.
 
2011-11-15 01:34:42 AM

Mad_Radhu: hundreddollarman: Team Alice.

[i70.photobucket.com image 640x412]

Team Jessica.

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x400]


The scene with her sitting on the picnic table in the first movie is one of my favorite images of the first three films. "The producers of Twilight would like to remind you that breasts exist. The Breast Council, in collaboration with Imprint Films, encourages you to have or look at breasts. In short, breasts, Kevin, breasts." The Rifftrax for the Twilight movies are hilarious, check them out.

I'm Team Jessica, Alice, and the Volturi's hot Italian secretary.
 
2011-11-15 03:31:26 AM
Pathetic, all of them. No matter what gender they are.
 
2011-11-15 04:46:57 AM
Stolen from George Takei's fb page:

fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net

/not that hp had great female leads either
//looking at you, ms. needs-to-be-loved-by-the-5th-book granger...
 
2011-11-15 09:18:26 AM

FrancoFile: Porous Horace: So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.

Vampires are factual things, in that they are significant elements of both folklore and modern popular culture. They have a number of common characteristics or tropes. Twilight violates those tropes, but not to advance a plot point or to make a comment about literature and popular culture. It does so willy-nilly, 'just because'.

/Twilight is crap
//So is 99% of every other vampire, werewolf, or zombie produce from the last 40 years
///Most fans of horror are solipsistic, masochistic, or have underdeveloped affect.


You're annoying
 
2011-11-15 09:29:45 AM

AgtSmithReloaded: 900RR: PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.

Bingo. +1

[i41.tinypic.com image 299x441]


Guess what, sports fans: you're nerds too. Suck it up, football fanatics and baseball buffs. You're just as bad as, if not worse than, any Star Trek, Star Wars, or Twilight fan. You're jersey-wearing, game-watching, collectible-buying starstruck fanboys and fangirls, gathering with your friends to celebrate what you love. You'll wait in line for hours for tickets, wear the jerseys of your favorite players (essentially another form of cosplay, only it's more socially acceptable, for some unfortunate reason), you'll throw parties on game nights...you do it all, and yet you have the brass cajones to consider all of that that "normal" and "real" compared to sci-fi/fantasy fandom. Real? NORMAL?!? Please, watch any of these dumbass games and consider how much these self-important, juiced-up jerk-offs get paid way too much to run around a field or court with a ball or another item in their hands and tell me again how normal and real it all is.

Actually, when you really stop to think about it, sports fans are even bigger nerds than sci-fi/fantasy fans, because the vast majority of the latter only do their costuming or fan-related stuff at events that encourage it. Sports fans, however, will go around with their team logo ties, team jackets, the aforementioned jerseys, to normal and everyday places! With a few shocking and disturbing exceptions (see the movie Trekkies if you wanna know what I mean), you don't see nearly as many Star Trek fans running around the grocery store in Klingon or Romulan costumes, and you don't see any guys stalking the malls dressed like Edward Cullen. Well, actually you do, but they're just being emo.

So, these Twi-hards hanging out waiting for this movie are no different, no better or worse than the sports fans who tailgate next to stadiums before a big game starts. It's the same basic behavior but for a different event and venue.


Uh-oh! Looks like you jock sniffers just got PWND!!

i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-15 09:30:46 AM

Loomy: /Props to him for taking his daughter; if it wasn't this, it'd be some other tweeny BS, and he knows it, but does good by her anyway.


Yeah if my wife or 16 year old daughter asked me to come camping with them for this I'd think they lost their goddamn minds. If my 11 year old wanted to do this, I probably would. Daddy would also score some Kings tickets though. If Daddy is camped in front of a hockey rink, he's seeing hockey at some point.

/cheaper than Disneyland by far I'm sure
 
2011-11-15 10:09:24 AM

VimFuego: This is what a vampire looks like!!

[www.usmagazine.com image 338x468]


Am I doing it right?


Yes, yes you are!

i39.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-15 10:15:19 AM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-15 10:24:45 AM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-15 10:34:26 AM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-15 10:50:15 AM

AgtSmithReloaded: 900RR: PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.

Bingo. +1

[i41.tinypic.com image 299x441]


Guess what, sports fans: you're nerds too. Suck it up, football fanatics and baseball buffs. You're just as bad as, if not worse than, any Star Trek, Star Wars, or Twilight fan. You're jersey-wearing, game-watching, collectible-buying starstruck fanboys and fangirls, gathering with your friends to celebrate what you love. You'll wait in line for hours for tickets, wear the jerseys of your favorite players (essentially another form of cosplay, only it's more socially acceptable, for some unfortunate reason), you'll throw parties on game nights...you do it all, and yet you have the brass cajones to consider all of that that "normal" and "real" compared to sci-fi/fantasy fandom. Real? NORMAL?!? Please, watch any of these dumbass games and consider how much these self-important, juiced-up jerk-offs get paid way too much to run around a field or court with a ball or another item in their hands and tell me again how normal and real it all is.

Actually, when you really stop to think about it, sports fans are even bigger nerds than sci-fi/fantasy fans, because the vast majority of the latter only do their costuming or fan-related stuff at events that encourage it. Sports fans, however, will go around with their team logo ties, team jackets, the aforementioned jerseys, to normal and everyday places! With a few shocking and disturbing exceptions (see the movie Trekkies if you wanna know what I mean), you don't see nearly as many Star Trek fans running around the grocery store in Klingon or Romulan costumes, and you don't see any guys stalking the malls dressed like Edward Cullen. Well, actually you do, but they're just being emo.

So, these Twi-hards hanging out waiting for this movie are no different, no better or worse than the sports fans who tailgate next to stadiums before a big game starts. It's the same basic behavior but for a different event and venue.


Calm yourself, Nerdlinger. And that bra-bomb better work!
 
2011-11-15 11:27:40 AM

phatboy249: [images4.cpcache.com image 480x480]


+1. Too bad it's not envotenated.
/ where can I join?
// newsletter?
 
2011-11-15 12:44:42 PM
 
2011-11-15 12:48:26 PM

AgtSmithReloaded: Actually, when you really stop to think about it, sports fans are even bigger nerds than sci-fi/fantasy fans, because the vast majority of the latter only do their costuming or fan-related stuff at events that encourage it. Sports fans, however, will go around with their team logo ties, team jackets, the aforementioned jerseys, to normal and everyday places! With a few shocking and disturbing exceptions (see the movie Trekkies if you wanna know what I mean), you don't see nearly as many Star Trek fans running around the grocery store in Klingon or Romulan costumes, and you don't see any guys stalking the malls dressed like Edward Cullen. Well, actually you do, but they're just being emo.


Let's not forget the fact that fantasy sports leagues are essentially pen-and-paper RPGs but without things like swords and axes.
 
2011-11-15 01:14:42 PM
OK, back on track.

i44.tinypic.com

i43.tinypic.com

i40.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-15 02:04:55 PM

900RR: OK, back on track.

[i44.tinypic.com image 638x480]

[i43.tinypic.com image 640x426]

[i40.tinypic.com image 638x480]


I see the "Subspecies" series has been covered, so I'll just leave this here.

ferdyonfilms.com
 
2011-11-15 03:00:08 PM
blu-news.com

MONSTER SQUAD biatchES.

And wolfman most def does NOT have nards.
 
2011-11-15 03:31:28 PM
rue-morgue.com
 
2011-11-15 04:23:51 PM

calm like a bomb: [27.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


Farking THANK YOU.

Man, that took a while to get here.

Also would have accepted:

raptorlaw.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-15 04:34:02 PM

Mad_Radhu: hundreddollarman: Team Alice.

[i70.photobucket.com image 640x412]

Team Jessica.

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x400]


Holy motherfarking yes!

truebloodguide.com

www.magicmoviemachine.com

Bite me right now!
 
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