Another real vampire:

This is what a vampire looks like!!




Am I doing it right?

The_Sponge: 900RR: I was just about to post the same pic but you beat me!! Your Fark-Fu is impressive. Loved Fright Night.


It scared the crap out of me when I was 9, but IMHO, it's the best vampire movie from the 80s.

You may be right! If you liked Salem's Lot, check out The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler with Darren McGavin... two kick ass early 70s TV movies with scary as hell vampires. You can get them both on a double-bill DVD.

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

I was dragged to the first two movies by a friend who was obsessed with the books. I could get over the sparkles and teen love story aspect but what I couldn't get over was the sheer unlikeability of all the main characters.

I would have loved to see a bunch of drunk hockey fans yell at the Twilight campers. Would have been better if it was Philly though.

they still make eunics?

"Yeah, I love that dude...that umm.... thats the vampire... and the wolf one too..........

Want to share my tent?"

Rent Party: Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.

I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.

It's okay. Someday you'll feel good about yourself.

Rent Party: Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?

Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.

OK, now please tell us what Twilight is about in such simple terms, and why you would rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into Sex and the City.

I charge you, sir, to defend Twilight.

I'm glad my current GF never forces me to watch Twilight with her. I guess it's because if she tries to make me watch those, I'll also aggressively invite her to watching my zombie movies lol!

You're saying the reasons Edward sucks is because he's gay, too sensitive, or should be MORE VIOLENT?

So that in addition to being emotionally abusive, you want him to be violent, sadistic, and PHYSICALLY abuse as well?

"I hate Twilight because Edward is a creepy, manipulative, controlling, overprotective stalker".

Bella Swan's ubiquitous "cock goes here" look.



Cock goes here.



I'm about to suck your cock right here.



Cock. Bring it. I am sucking it.

Oznog: [www.bsckids.com image 500x292]

Bella Swan's ubiquitous "cock goes here" look.

[www.fantasybooksandmovies.com image 350x164]

Cock goes here.

[images.wikia.com image 300x429]

I'm about to suck your cock right here.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x480]

Cock. Bring it. I am sucking it.

Oh, is that what it is. I thought it was her waaaay too much botox face.

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.

By each each other.

Oznog: [9.i.blip.tv image 120x68]

You're saying the reasons Edward sucks is because he's gay, too sensitive, or should be MORE VIOLENT?

So that in addition to being emotionally abusive, you want him to be violent, sadistic, and PHYSICALLY abuse as well?

"I hate Twilight because Edward is a creepy, manipulative, controlling, overprotective stalker".

Oh forgot the link:
The Real Reason Guys Should Hate Twilight (new window)

Rent Party: Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.

I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.

Link (new window)

Who's your daddy?

Oznog: Oh forgot the link:
The Real Reason Guys Should Hate Twilight (new window)

Really?
"Here is an easy to follow guide for the guys on the right versus the wrong reasons to hate on Twilight. With the release of New Moon, there has been an awful lot of sexist, homophobic, patriarchal crap floating around the internet and I just wanted to set the record straight."

"I hate sexists. Also, if you have a penis, so here's how you should think."

Relatively Obscure: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

I'm a big Twilight fan. I've seen the movies, but not read the books. The books are too graphic.

Well, to be fair, Breaking Dawn features a fetus that breaks the spine of her mother, and then needs to be removed via c-section... using its father's teeth to rip through the uterus.

And then the werewolf boyfriend 'imprints' on the newborn.

I am not making this up.

Let there be a blood bath!!!



Patience, fledgling.

Mugato: shortymac: Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

The Rifftrax makes it all worth while.

/line?

No, what you want is Twilight: The Broodening (new window)
which then links to the sequels Broodening Harder, Twilight 3: Electric Broodaloo, and a trailer for Twilight 4: Broodening Dawn.

Damn they nailed the plot and character problems all over.... and Bella's "Foamy The Squirrel" voice, me likey!

Knara: Rent Party: Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.

I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.

It's okay. Someday you'll feel good about yourself.

Probably. You're always going to be stupid, though.

bigmattress: Rent Party: Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?

Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.

OK, now please tell us what Twilight is about in such simple terms, and why you would rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into Sex and the City.

I charge you, sir, to defend Twilight.

Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"

A brief recap of the series for those of you who have managed to avoid it.

Work safe, the image was too large.

Mugato: "I listened to the books - I'm not a big reader"
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
There's a shock.

I used to listen to books, then I discovered books on tape - they're really an improvement (not so much in this case).

Rent Party:
Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"

You've defended Twilight nicely. Sleep well.

I briefly considered joining the Taliban on reading that article.

Oznog:

Totally unrelated to the thread but Oznog do you play UO on Chessy? You just have no EIP.

Somebody made an entire series of gay porn called "Twinklight": Trailer (SFW) (new window)

I gotta say, Twilight makes more sense as gay porn. Cable gets fixed and everything.

Mad_Radhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Well, I guess two "3"s and a "4" does kind of make a "10".

3s on the right and the 4 on the left?

Anyways, when I want vampires I go John Carpenter style.

People wonder why I hate pop culture. This. This is why.

bigmattress: Rent Party:
Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"

You've defended Twilight nicely. Sleep well.



I would add that "Twilight" is pure escapist fantasy for its mostly juvenile audience whose tastes are still developing and growing.

"Sex and the City" is a deadly-serious aspirational roadmap for middle-aged women who should farking well know better by now.

At least some undefined portion of the "Twilight" nimrods have a chance of outgrowing that nonsense... The "Sex and the City" twits have done pretty much all of the growing they are ever going to do, and even with three or four decades of personal development time under their belts, they STILL haven't managed to get past obsessing over shiny objects like a pack of overgrown rodents.

I saw a facebook page titled "Back in my day vampires sucked blood, not cock!"

they look Mormon

I always wanted a daughter but if the price of that is having to endure crap like the "Twilight Saga" I praise Allah that he only gave me sons!

Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?

THIS x1000