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(Grantland)   The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay   (grantland.com) divider line 273
    More: Amusing, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, tent city, Robert Pattinson  
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22370 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2011 at 12:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-11-14 02:50:46 PM

szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...


I saw five minutes of one of the movies once. It almost made me want to throw up. That said, I would see them without question if David Lynch had directed them.

/kcor s'teL
 
2011-11-14 02:51:29 PM
 
2011-11-14 02:51:52 PM

The_Sponge: Trocadero: [twilightseriestheories.com image 365x200]


Heh.

/Kept hoping that Ron Swanson would shoot off his knees with a 12 gauge.


•"I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department. And that includes the men."
 
2011-11-14 02:52:23 PM

brigid_fitch: As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.


THIS

/can't find my repeating bear or he'd be here too
 
2011-11-14 02:52:28 PM

thebigfarker: I've done a lot of things i'm not proud of to get laid, but there are limits.

/Hell, going to this after the croud dies down is really pushing those limits.


FTFY
/ now says what you REALLY mean.
// Twilght: Breaking Wind (LOL!)
 
2011-11-14 02:52:34 PM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 02:53:36 PM

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


It's soft porn. Every author has something like it on his or her hard drive--the backbone of writing, after all, is that you see all of these stories and how they go wrong, so you fix the stories...and just apply it to eroticism.

However, most of us have enough IQ points to not publish them.

/Seriously. Stephanie Myers may be rolling in cash, but she shames all true literature and authors by printing that POS.
//I mean, if you're going to write for Harlequin, write for farking Harlequin and get over it.
 
2011-11-14 02:56:54 PM

linuxpyro: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

I saw five minutes of one of the movies once. It almost made me want to throw up. That said, I would see them without question if David Lynch had directed them.

/kcor s'teL


You owe it to yourself to watch the first movie with RiffTrax. It's absolutely hysterical.
 
2011-11-14 02:57:18 PM

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


Getting pegged doesn't count.
 
2011-11-14 02:57:50 PM

Fear the Clam: metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.

Getting pegged doesn't count.


kinky.
 
2011-11-14 02:59:02 PM
I would stand in line for my daughters sake (if I had one),but have zero/zero interest in that kind of stuff ,or that harry potter shtick either.
Want a good read?
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain ,appallingly hysterical and appallingly....appalling
 
2011-11-14 03:00:28 PM

The_Sponge: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

Speaking of somebody who has dated both types, I'd rather go out with a Sex and the City fan.


THIS. It's been my experience that the Twi-tards tend to refer to the male gender as "boys". And SatC women don't need a limo and five star restaurant (a woman who does is simply a biatch, regardless of which media they take in)...they just want respect; acknowledgment of the fact that they are independent women.

Twi-tards identify with a young girl with zero personality who wants to be led around and treated like property.

I'll take a strong woman every day.
 
2011-11-14 03:04:03 PM

AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


If there is one thing I have learned from reading Fark comments it would be "Dont. Stick. Your. Dick. In. Crazy."
 
2011-11-14 03:04:31 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


It might be male, but it's definitely a horse.
 
2011-11-14 03:10:35 PM

ProfessorOhki: Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.

Nope. That would be if they implied that those were the only two categories that existed. That was simply a comparison between the two.

For example, saying "I'd rather own a Ford than a Chevy," isn't a false dichotomy. Saying "Ford is the best car maker because Chevy sucks," is.


By only presenting the two options, it is implied that those are the only choices.
 
2011-11-14 03:11:07 PM

The Homer Tax: AcneVulgaris: I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.

Yeah, but said poon is connected to Fat Chicks who like Twilight.


You just gotta man up, throw a fistful of glitter in the air, and whip out your harpoon. It'll all work out.
 
2011-11-14 03:12:22 PM

bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.


A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?
 
2011-11-14 03:14:09 PM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2011-11-14 03:21:22 PM

Knara: ProfessorOhki: Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.

Nope. That would be if they implied that those were the only two categories that existed. That was simply a comparison between the two.

For example, saying "I'd rather own a Ford than a Chevy," isn't a false dichotomy. Saying "Ford is the best car maker because Chevy sucks," is.

By only presenting the two options, it is implied that those are the only choices.


No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.
 
2011-11-14 03:22:31 PM

Quasar: bigmattress: I'll take a strong woman every day.

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?


Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.
 
2011-11-14 03:23:02 PM
My boyfriend is never allowed to make fun of me again for waiting in line 8 hours to see Episode I. It could have been much, much worse.
 
2011-11-14 03:25:08 PM

Rent Party: Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.


Interestingly, Twilight is about a shallow, vacuous, spoiled woman with unreasonable expectations about how men (who are vampires and werewolves) should treat them.
 
2011-11-14 03:27:18 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


OMG! Is that a Pocket Dog he has? I certainly hope someone revoked his Guy Card...
 
2011-11-14 03:34:02 PM

Rent Party: No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.


Derp.
 
2011-11-14 03:37:30 PM

Knara: Rent Party: No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.

Derp.


On your way, then, Aristotle.
 
2011-11-14 03:37:48 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 03:40:10 PM

basemetal: Not one man card amongst them.


This. Genetics may make them males but their actions do not make them men

thechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 03:42:08 PM

bigmattress: acknowledgment of the fact that they are independent women.


Ironic giving that they're being identified, in this case, primarily by their interest in a show in which the main characters are defined primarily by their dysfunctional interactions with and longing for men and unreasonable attachments to arbitrary material goods designed to make them look pretty for men....

As someone who was subjected to both movies and much of the TV show by my wife, I never got that whole "it's about independent women" thing. The main character's entire driving purpose seems to be to her desire to attach herself to a strong male partner that will define her role in life for her. Another one is just a disgusting slut who becomes an absurd caricature of a strong woman by being cast in such an over-the-top maneater role that the whole thing becomes satirical by the end of the first season, the brown-haired one is your typical pretty princess archetype from the 50s and the red-haired one that is supposed to be the most independent and strong-willed of the four is the worst of all. She is ultimately subverted into a traditional domestic role by a husband that wins that title by brow-beating her into marriage after he knocks her up with one nut. She effectively is his prey and ultimately becomes everything that typifies a domineering male-female relationship.

That show was really stupid and I resent the fact that I had to watch enough of it to be able to write that prior paragraph....
 
2011-11-14 03:42:49 PM

Rent Party: Knara: Rent Party: No, it does not. What we might imply from your bit of retardedness is that one must present every woman ever shown on screen or fall victim to your false dichotomy.

The fact that no premise or conclusion was claimed should be enough for you to realize that no fallacy at all can take place.

You may go back to your corner and STFU now.

Derp.

On your way, then, Aristotle.


You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.
 
2011-11-14 03:48:33 PM

8DragonFark: AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.

If there is one thing I have learned from reading Fark comments it would be "Dont. Stick. Your. Dick. In. Crazy."


Crazy sex is good sex but you need an escape plan and don't let them know where you live or work.
 
2011-11-14 03:48:59 PM

AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


Unfortunately, each one is attached to a fully-grown 200+ lb mentally disabled person or a 10-17 year old mentally disabled person. Why not just go hoggin' at the bar where you can get sauced and they keep out the tweens?
 
2011-11-14 03:49:08 PM

Knara:
You're a very angry, stressed out person, aren't you.


I'm just smarter than you. I can see how that would cause you difficulty.
 
2011-11-14 03:51:44 PM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 03:52:08 PM
www.lolwtfcomics.com
 
2011-11-14 03:53:31 PM
roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 03:53:43 PM
s11.bdbphotos.com
 
2011-11-14 03:54:37 PM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 04:01:40 PM
i44.tinypic.com

...and for this special family outing, Hacksaw Jim Duggan lent his crossed-eye to his wife, "just this once."
 
2011-11-14 04:03:53 PM
To all you Tweens and weird dudes:

This is what a vampire looks like!!

i42.tinypic.com

(Not a 90210 character)
 
2011-11-14 04:04:35 PM
The homely women who showed up at this premiere were hoping to get laid by Robt Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. The effete men who showed up at this premiere were hoping to get laid by Robt Pattinson and Taylor Lautner
 
2011-11-14 04:08:38 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


Oh god, thats the 4th time seeing that photo so far and i just noticed the dog in his(?) pocket.
 
2011-11-14 04:09:19 PM
dobrochan.ru
 
2011-11-14 04:10:49 PM

Hipchewy1: I weep for humanity.


Oh, stop weeping. People who "weep for humanity" are annoying. Of course Twilight is totally gay. Not the NPH cool gay but the Andy Dick gay gay. But weep for humanity? Name an era that didn't have some stupid shiat that people flocked to.
 
2011-11-14 04:14:33 PM

Cyno01: Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?

Oh god, thats the 4th time seeing that photo so far and i just noticed the dog in his(?) pocket.


The dog is probably wondering "Why, God? WHY?"
 
2011-11-14 04:15:05 PM

900RR: To all you Tweens and weird dudes:

This is what a vampire looks like!!

[i42.tinypic.com image 540x401]

(Not a 90210 character)



Also this:

i623.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 04:15:19 PM
Another vampire:

i43.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 04:16:06 PM
After my girlfriend dragged me to 'the happening' I command veto power on all movies we see. I have not seen a crappy movie in theatres since, and there has been a lot of awful movies she has gone to. Yes, she is excited to see twilight. Maybe the flames play that night, would work out for both of us.
 
2011-11-14 04:18:05 PM

The_Sponge: 900RR: To all you Tweens and weird dudes:

This is what a vampire looks like!!

[i42.tinypic.com image 540x401]

(Not a 90210 character)


Also this:

[i623.photobucket.com image 640x426]


I was just about to post the same pic but you beat me!! Your Fark-Fu is impressive. Loved Fright Night.
 
2011-11-14 04:18:46 PM
Team Alice.

i70.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 04:20:33 PM

Mugato: Hipchewy1: I weep for humanity.

Oh, stop weeping. People who "weep for humanity" are annoying. Of course Twilight is totally gay. Not the NPH cool gay but the Andy Dick gay gay. But weep for humanity? Name an era that didn't have some stupid shiat that people flocked to.


Heh, Andy Dick is an unfunny douchebag.
 
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