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(Grantland)   The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay   (grantland.com) divider line 273
    More: Amusing, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, tent city, Robert Pattinson  
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22370 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2011 at 12:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-11-14 01:44:08 PM

shortymac: /I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!!


You can add me to the "girls who hate Twilight" list. I read the books out of absolute sheer boredom while suffering from chronic insomnia. I cannot understand their appeal--Mary-Sue main character, 2-dimensional supporting cast, boring, predictable plotlines, all horribly written. The entire series boils down to "Mousy, awkward nobody is instantly the center of attention at new school, ends up with a creepy stalker pedo who beats the crap out of her on their wedding night, but it's okay because he didn't really mean it."

/The one and only advantage to reading those books: I can yell at the Twi-tards without being a hypocrite. I read the books--I KNOW how pathetic they are.
//Then I give them a copy of The Hunger Games.
 
2011-11-14 01:46:45 PM
Porous Horace

So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.


I once "staked" a female vampire wannabe freak whose 'youwho' was all sparkly - then I realised it was just glitter.

/then it was just all matted
 
2011-11-14 01:49:41 PM

WTF Indeed: I saw the word "men" in that headline, but I couldn't find any in the article.


The hockey fans?
 
2011-11-14 01:54:05 PM

The Homer Tax: AcneVulgaris: I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.

Yeah, but said poon is connected to Fat Chicks who like Twilight.


I like a juicy fat girl, yes, I do, but I don't so much care for the Twilighters. Too much phoney-romantic idealism at work. That leads to intolerable an relationship.
 
2011-11-14 01:55:40 PM

szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...


Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...
 
2011-11-14 01:57:28 PM

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


You just described 85% of American women...

/misogyny, it's what's for breakfast!
 
2011-11-14 01:58:39 PM
That's a rather unfortunate looking group of people.
 
2011-11-14 01:58:54 PM
Why aren't the police breaking this up with tear gas?
 
2011-11-14 01:59:05 PM

Allen. The end.: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...


Yes, and yes.
 
2011-11-14 02:00:44 PM

schief2: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Richard (left): "We live right across the street, so this was really convenient.

Huh. I didn't realize the Nokia Theater had moved to Riverside.


Whenever I hear the term "brain-dead white trash", I will forever see this photo in my head. The icing on the cake is the puke tattoo on his wife's chest. CLASSY.
 
2011-11-14 02:03:15 PM
"My daughter made our shirts, and for a specific reason: We're on Team Kristen. Here, look at the back ..."

a.espncdn.com
 
2011-11-14 02:04:44 PM

IAAl: "My daughter made our shirts, and for a specific reason: We're on Team Kristen. Here, look at the back ..."

[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]


I don't understand what this is referring to. I guess that is a plus for me.

/please don't explain either.
 
2011-11-14 02:05:05 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark:
I like a juicy fat girl, yes, I do, but I don't so much care for the Twilighters. Too much phoney-romantic idealism at work. That leads to intolerable an relationship.


I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

2.bp.blogspot.com

You want to talk about unattainable expectations? No one really expects you to be a sparkly undead hardbody, but you better take her out to dinner every night and pick her up in a towncar. Or you don't really love her...
 
2011-11-14 02:06:27 PM

Allen. The end.: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...


John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?
 
2011-11-14 02:10:18 PM
As much as I dislike Twilight on principle, I still have to go with Kevin Smith's take on the whole phenomenon.
 
2011-11-14 02:10:33 PM

brigid_fitch: As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.


The difference between everything you supported and Twilight is simple: they all have at least somewhat positive messages (hell, I can't stand Harry Potter, but I see some genuinely positive upsides to it).

Twilight, though...there's just so much "ick" in the messages of Twilight I honestly don't know where to begin.

/didn't read the books
//read Cleolinda's recaps, which, for the money and time, were much better
///would find Twilight silly if it weren't really, really creepy

chitlenz: Best movie reviewer of all time! It's a shame he gave it up :(


Yeah, what the hell happened to that guy? I was so disappointed when I discovered he stopped posting.
 
2011-11-14 02:12:06 PM

Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?


Yeah! Well, his early work, anyway. Now I like his "stand-up" stuff. But "Desperate Living" is a tried-and-true litmus test for determining who you want to hang out with.
 
2011-11-14 02:12:32 PM

Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.


False dichotomy.
 
2011-11-14 02:12:42 PM
They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.
 
2011-11-14 02:14:06 PM
Reminds me of when I went with some girlfriends to see "Puppetry of the Penis"

The gays were well represented, as were the groups of "girl's night out"-ers.

Then there were the couples. You could just tell the guy did something wrong, and this was punishment. They were not there voluntarily.

And, I'm betting they didn't get laid that night, but their wife/girlfriend tried making shapes with their penis. That mighta hurt the un-trained penis.

Now, these guys at Twilight? Well, far too many of them look as if they are there voluntarily. Either gay or the wifey/girlfriend has custody of the ballsack would be my guess. That, and there are a lot of freaks in the world.
 
2011-11-14 02:14:22 PM

Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?


Cronenberg is the one that's not from the U.S., not Waters. David Cronenberg is Canadian. Which is still technically "American" depending on the intended usage.

Although I might entertain the argument that Waters is from a whole other planet.
 
2011-11-14 02:18:28 PM

Allen. The end.: Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?

Yeah! Well, his early work, anyway. Now I like his "stand-up" stuff. But "Desperate Living" is a tried-and-true litmus test for determining who you want to hang out with.


Ah okay. I just wasn't sure. I didn't think he'd done that much that was interesting. Maybe I should go back a bit.

Splinshints: Beluga Heights: John Waters is one of your three favorite American directors?

Cronenberg is the one that's not from the U.S., not Waters. David Cronenberg is Canadian. Which is still technically "American" depending on the intended usage.

Although I might entertain the argument that Waters is from a whole other planet.


Well regardless of where he's from, I just am not all the impressed with Waters.
 
2011-11-14 02:19:12 PM

brigid_fitch: shortymac: /I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!!

You can add me to the "girls who hate Twilight" list. I read the books out of absolute sheer boredom while suffering from chronic insomnia. I cannot understand their appeal--Mary-Sue main character, 2-dimensional supporting cast, boring, predictable plotlines, all horribly written. The entire series boils down to "Mousy, awkward nobody is instantly the center of attention at new school, ends up with a creepy stalker pedo who beats the crap out of her on their wedding night, but it's okay because he didn't really mean it."

/The one and only advantage to reading those books: I can yell at the Twi-tards without being a hypocrite. I read the books--I KNOW how pathetic they are.
//Then I give them a copy of The Hunger Games.


All you girls-that-hate-twilight sure have read a whole lot of it and know quite a bit about it. Well, I suppose you can't hate something you know nothing about.
 
2011-11-14 02:20:48 PM

chookbillion: A lot of posters here really buy into machismo.


I don't really get into this discussion often. To me, being a man isn't about how many people you can beat up, how much you can drink or how many power tools you own (though there's certainly nothing wrong with these things). It's about taking care of your responsibilities, working to better society, and conducting yourself in a manner that allows you look in a mirror and respect what you see.

I don't have anything against Twilight, at least more so than any other goofy zero-calorie form of entertainment. But taking several days off of work at the behest of your dead-eyed, illiterate wife/progeny so that you can be a street person while waiting for a stupid movie?

I don't do this often. At all. But MAN CARD REVOKED.
 
2011-11-14 02:20:49 PM

Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.


Entirely appropriate analogy.
 
2011-11-14 02:21:56 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu:
a.espncdn.com
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?
 
2011-11-14 02:22:00 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 02:22:06 PM
i59.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-14 02:22:57 PM

IAAl: "My daughter made our shirts, and for a specific reason: We're on Team Kristen. Here, look at the back ..."

[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]


Is that shirt on a human being or is it on some kind of mannequin/scarecrow?
 
2011-11-14 02:24:07 PM

PYROY: Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.


1/10
 
2011-11-14 02:27:25 PM

Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.



Speaking of somebody who has dated both types, I'd rather go out with a Sex and the City fan.
 
2011-11-14 02:27:31 PM

Beluga Heights: Well regardless of where he's from, I just am not all the impressed with Waters.


Yea, I don't get the draw either. I've always been of the opinion that if your only real talent is shock and vulgarity it's because you don't have any real talents. Grotesque can be interesting, I just don't think it can be interesting in and of itself.
 
2011-11-14 02:28:32 PM
Not really a good looking bunch.
 
2011-11-14 02:28:43 PM
They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Hockey fans rule so hard.

That being said, the guy hoping to see Kristen Stewart get her fark on in this is doomed to disappointment considering that in the book the farking was skimmed over except for Edward breaking the bed and very nearly Bella, who only coos about finally being close to him. I read the books more out of curiosity since so many women around me were going apeshiat over them. There's six hours of my life lost to godawful Mary Sueing I'll never get back. They made me sicker than the stomach flu I had at the time.

/on Team Twilight Blows Goats
 
2011-11-14 02:28:45 PM
I'm on team "Seres Victoria wastes them all with one shot from her Harkonen Cannon."
 
2011-11-14 02:29:25 PM

PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.


Bingo. +1

i41.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-14 02:30:55 PM

schief2: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Richard (left): "We live right across the street, so this was really convenient.

Huh. I didn't realize the Nokia Theater had moved to Riverside.


909'ers
 
2011-11-14 02:32:20 PM
twilightseriestheories.com
 
2011-11-14 02:33:43 PM

PYROY: They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

Personally, I believe sports fans are just as gay as twilight fans, but they're also typically fatter, dumber, louder and more useless. I also think the reason the terrorists haven't bombed any major American sporting event is because they realize it would only make us a better nation.




Personally, I have a strong feeling that you were always picked last in sports.
 
2011-11-14 02:34:47 PM

Latinwolf: Prank Call of Cthulhu:
[a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?

That's a guy?


That's the joke.jpg.
 
2011-11-14 02:34:55 PM

Trocadero: [twilightseriestheories.com image 365x200]



Heh.

/Kept hoping that Ron Swanson would shoot off his knees with a 12 gauge.
 
2011-11-14 02:34:56 PM

Allen. The end.: szyska: From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...

Wow. You just named my three favorite American directors! Creepy...


Cronenberg is Canadian.
 
2011-11-14 02:37:16 PM
#OccupyForks
 
2011-11-14 02:39:05 PM

Splinshints: Beluga Heights: Well regardless of where he's from, I just am not all the impressed with Waters.

Yea, I don't get the draw either. I've always been of the opinion that if your only real talent is shock and vulgarity it's because you don't have any real talents. Grotesque can be interesting, I just don't think it can be interesting in and of itself.


I don't necessarily love Waters, but his use of grotesque is not without purpose. He's basically a bitter version of Tim Burton.
 
2011-11-14 02:40:06 PM

VimFuego: Is that shirt on a human being or is it on some kind of mannequin/scarecrow?


It is on what at one time was a human being and now is a dried up husk.
 
2011-11-14 02:43:50 PM
cdntheologianscholar.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-11-14 02:45:12 PM

Knara: Rent Party: I'd rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into this show.

False dichotomy.


Nope. That would be if they implied that those were the only two categories that existed. That was simply a comparison between the two.

For example, saying "I'd rather own a Ford than a Chevy," isn't a false dichotomy. Saying "Ford is the best car maker because Chevy sucks," is.
 
2011-11-14 02:46:48 PM
Ghey!

/NTTAWWT
 
2011-11-14 02:47:00 PM
I'm not a Twilight fan, but I have to say; I think it might be enjoyable to do something kind of like this. Maybe I'm just weird?

First, at it's core, you've just got a bunch of people sitting around and doing nothing. So it's pretty similar to camping or fishing or tailgating....a lot of people enjoy that stuff. Only, here, you would have a disproportionate amount of young women. Cha-ching! A social situation where everyone is just 'sitting around' and outside, where being quite for formal isn't expected is about as good as it gets for meeting people.
 
2011-11-14 02:47:34 PM

This text is now purple: Cronenberg is Canadian.


Crap! You are correct, sir.
 
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