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(Grantland)   The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay   (grantland.com) divider line 273
    More: Amusing, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, tent city, Robert Pattinson  
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22373 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2011 at 12:20 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-11-14 12:47:09 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin? Is he actually anticipating porking that gorgon standing next to him?


Well, he's not exactly a feast for the eyes himself. Also, I think that's a woman.
 
2011-11-14 12:48:59 PM  
Prank Call of Cthulhu: Why is the guy on the right smiling that big shiat-eatin' grin?

probably because he realized he snapped that piece of shiat dog's neck on the barricade
 
2011-11-14 12:49:21 PM  
You call that camping? Puh-leeze. Some of these guys look totally heterosexual.

Twilight Moms: they're just happy to have something they can share with their teenage daughters that doesn't involve choking, even if it is non-threatening boys*.

*To a given value of the term "boy"--some of these guys are about thirty.
 
2011-11-14 12:49:43 PM  

Relatively Obscure: JackieRabbit: What the hell is Twilight?

It's what you're pretending not to know about right now.


I don't even own a bookshelf.
 
2011-11-14 12:50:09 PM  
Was the national "Pussy Whipped" convention next door?
 
2011-11-14 12:51:02 PM  
"Well, he's not exactly a feast for the eyes himself. Also, I think that's a woman."

You need to turn on your sarcasm detector.....
 
2011-11-14 12:51:05 PM  
what a sad pathetic race we have become
 
2011-11-14 12:54:21 PM  
a.espncdn.com
Richard (left): "We live right across the street, so this was really convenient.

Huh. I didn't realize the Nokia Theater had moved to Riverside.
 
2011-11-14 12:57:08 PM  
a.espncdn.com
Adam: "I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight.

Wow, it's like the Bizarro World Hipster. He was totally into Twilight before it mainstream and sold out.
 
2011-11-14 12:58:35 PM  
I liked this guy ("Don"):

a.espncdn.com

Caption: "I've see the movies but never read the books. I'm not a Twilight fan. I'm here for my daughter. I work at a hospital, so I had to take three days off. We got a hotel room, but we've been camping out for the past four nights. They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"

See, this just proves that hockey fans are the best.

/Props to him for taking his daughter; if it wasn't this, it'd be some other tweeny BS, and he knows it, but does good by her anyway.
 
2011-11-14 12:59:22 PM  
Billy: "I'm not a big reader."

Richard: "I've seen the movies, but not read the books."

Figures.

Janine: "Also, hockey fans are obnoxious."

But not as obnoxious as people who sleep out for days to see a movie that they could just wait a day for and buy a ticket for general admission, right?

/this country is in serious trouble
 
2011-11-14 12:59:32 PM  
WTF?!?

Seriously, sparkly vampires? My wife read the first one years ago and was laughing at what was supposed to be the serious parts.

If you are going to make a movie about the undead, for the love of god make it scary.

Walking Dead > Twilight... and you don't even have to pay for it (or camp out).
 
2011-11-14 01:00:51 PM  
FTA :

a.espncdn.com
"We're here for the honeymoon scene. But I don't think they'll show it - at least not the way I want to see it."

I can't decide if it's better or worse that he just wants to watch Kristen Stewart get her f**k on.
 
2011-11-14 01:03:09 PM  

Cheron: offmymeds: [fivehourfitness.com image 448x260]

I can think of at least one good reason to camp out for twilight tickets, the same reason men do almost everything, to get laid.


Yea, but they are doing it wrong. That is a great way to make friends with women. Not to have them lust over you.
 
2011-11-14 01:03:30 PM  
I can't think of a single movie premiere that I would camp out for it....unless, of course, it was Behind Snooki's Green Door: The Penicillin Years.
 
2011-11-14 01:04:50 PM  
as i scrolled through the pictures, i wondered two things:

1.) what are their fark handles?
2.) how many of them have already posted in this thread?

/3.) profit?
 
2011-11-14 01:04:50 PM  

gregory311: Billy: "I'm not a big reader."

Richard: "I've seen the movies, but not read the books."

Figures.

Janine: "Also, hockey fans are obnoxious."

But not as obnoxious as people who sleep out for days to see a movie that they could just wait a day for and buy a ticket for general admission, right?

/this country is in serious trouble



In fairness, this isn't just the local multiplex... They're camped out for the official "star-studded" premiere in hopes of seeing/meeting/getting autographs from the movie's stars on the red carpet.

Still ridiculous, but not quite "camping out at some random mall in suburbia for week" ridiculous.
 
2011-11-14 01:06:40 PM  
a.espncdn.com

Mom's eyes are pointing in different directions?
 
2011-11-14 01:07:07 PM  

metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.


This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight
 
2011-11-14 01:08:48 PM  

technicolor-misfit: gregory311: Billy: "I'm not a big reader."

Richard: "I've seen the movies, but not read the books."

Figures.

Janine: "Also, hockey fans are obnoxious."

But not as obnoxious as people who sleep out for days to see a movie that they could just wait a day for and buy a ticket for general admission, right?

/this country is in serious trouble


In fairness, this isn't just the local multiplex... They're camped out for the official "star-studded" premiere in hopes of seeing/meeting/getting autographs from the movie's stars on the red carpet.

Still ridiculous, but not quite "camping out at some random mall in suburbia for week" ridiculous.


See my last comment. :-)
 
2011-11-14 01:10:22 PM  
FTFA:

Don: "I've see the movies but never read the books. I'm not a Twilight fan. I'm here for my daughter. I work at a hospital, so I had to take three days off. We got a hotel room, but we've been camping out for the past four nights. They had a hockey game last night and it was a little crazy. The Kings fans were out here yelling 'Twilight fans suck!'"


Two things:

1) If I asked my Dad to take off three days from work and pay for a hotel just so I could take part in a silly hobby.......he would say no, shake his head, and then tell me to mow the lawn.

2) The Kings fans speak THE TRUTH.
 
2011-11-14 01:13:30 PM  
I feel very content that I have no idea WTF Twilight is.
 
2011-11-14 01:14:00 PM  
i881.photobucket.com



Is this guy going to do a homage to the birthing scene Fark was talking about a few months ago?
 
2011-11-14 01:14:39 PM  

rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.


I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.
 
2011-11-14 01:17:11 PM  

AcneVulgaris: rickycal78: Yeah, those weren't really men. The ones in those photos were former men that's had their ballsack lopped off by crazy wives. I don't care how much you love your significant other or wife, if you're camping out to get in to see Twilight as early as possible, you have lost the right to call yourself a man.

I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


speak for yourself, man
 
2011-11-14 01:17:16 PM  
Wow.

I weep for this country.

I love the snark in the article though.
 
2011-11-14 01:17:19 PM  

Marine1: metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.

There are limits.

/besides, they're friend zoned.



And I think we have a winner.
 
2011-11-14 01:19:13 PM  
So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.
 
2011-11-14 01:19:41 PM  

BohemianGraham: metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight


Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

I really hate the series because it glorifies an abusive relationship and pedophilia (the werewolf adults "imprinting" on a toddler... it's not romantic it's called grooming).
 
2011-11-14 01:21:05 PM  

Loomy: I liked this guy ("Don John Candy"):

a.espncdn.com

 
2011-11-14 01:21:30 PM  

shortymac: BohemianGraham: metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

I really hate the series because it glorifies an abusive relationship and pedophilia (the werewolf adults "imprinting" on a toddler... it's not romantic it's called grooming).


The thing that makes it more amusing is that Meyer is Mormon.
 
2011-11-14 01:21:47 PM  
As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.
 
2011-11-14 01:21:59 PM  
My mom, sister-in-law and stepsisters all love Twilight and can't seem to understand why I won't read it.
 
2011-11-14 01:23:30 PM  
I was expecting mincing and general wussiness but instead I saw a bunch of guys who seemed to be doing something nice for their wife/kids.
 
2011-11-14 01:24:39 PM  

Porous Horace: So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.


Vampires are factual things, in that they are significant elements of both folklore and modern popular culture. They have a number of common characteristics or tropes. Twilight violates those tropes, but not to advance a plot point or to make a comment about literature and popular culture. It does so willy-nilly, 'just because'.

/Twilight is crap
//So is 99% of every other vampire, werewolf, or zombie produce from the last 40 years
///Most fans of horror are solipsistic, masochistic, or have underdeveloped affect.
 
2011-11-14 01:26:01 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Mom's eyes are pointing in different directions?


Same thing I was wondering.

At least she can keep an eye or two out for aliens while her family enjoys camping out in civilization for once. That's proof of a mother's love right there.
 
2011-11-14 01:26:25 PM  

schief2: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]
Adam: "I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight.

Wow, it's like the Bizarro World Hipster. He was totally into Twilight before it mainstream and sold out.


He looks like he's there to get chicks.

But those aren't chicks most people want. I don't base that on appearance. I base that on the obvious stunted emotional growth and hallowed eyes they all have.

I work at a restaurant near where one of those Backstreet Boys/New Kids on the Block shows took place. The crowd that night was preferable to the Twilight premieres.
 
2011-11-14 01:26:40 PM  
technicolor-misfit
FTA :
"We're here for the honeymoon scene. But I don't think they'll show it - at least not the way I want to see it."

I can't decide if it's better or worse that he just wants to watch Kristen Stewart get her f**k on.


He's there with his daughter complaining about how the honeymoon scene probably won't be hot enough for him. What a winner. Oh, and he's also there for farking Twilight, for fark's sake. A Twi-fam? Blech.
 
2011-11-14 01:29:38 PM  

Mad_Radhu: [a.espncdn.com image 576x324]

Well, I guess two "3"s and a "4" does kind of make a "10".

Adam: "I went to the first Twilight premiere in 2008, which was before Twilight was Twilight. One time, I met Robert Pattinson at Taco Bell."


This is so hipster I am wondering if he's there under duress and just trolling.
 
2011-11-14 01:29:59 PM  
I"'m a big Twilight fan. I've seen the movies, but not read the books. The books are too graphic. But I'm really excited to see all the stars. They're all such wonderful actors. I got some great signatures already."

Just for this, and many other quotes from the article, several 'men' will recieve psychic cockpunches from me.
 
2011-11-14 01:30:15 PM  

FrancoFile: Porous Horace: So much fail, from Twilight fans to people who make "factual" statements about imaginary things like vampires. "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight" indeed.

Vampires are factual things, in that they are significant elements of both folklore and modern popular culture. They have a number of common characteristics or tropes. Twilight violates those tropes, but not to advance a plot point or to make a comment about literature and popular culture. It does so willy-nilly, 'just because'.

/Twilight is crap
//So is 99% of every other vampire, werewolf, or zombie produce from the last 40 years
///Most fans of horror are solipsistic, masochistic, or have underdeveloped affect.


Kind of like how Jesus ruined stories about Zombies.
 
2011-11-14 01:32:44 PM  
As a Kings fan who saw these horrible creatures the other day after the Kings destroyed the Wild, I was pretty shocked to see that there were a lot of men there.

/Saw a group throw a hot dog and a group of twihard girls.
 
2011-11-14 01:33:24 PM  
I had a decent experience with the first movie... but then again, I watched on TV with 10 friends trying as hard as possible to ruin it for the girl who picked the channel.

The baseball sequence made me realize something though; there really needs to be a Mutant League Football movie.
 
2011-11-14 01:33:35 PM  
I'll just leave this here...

The filthy critic reviews LOTR with his "vampyre" cousin (new window).

Best movie reviewer of all time! It's a shame he gave it up :(
 
2011-11-14 01:33:49 PM  

WTF Indeed: I saw the word "men" in that headline, but I couldn't find any in the article.


Alas, there was only one.

"I've see the movies but never read the books. I'm not a Twilight fan. I'm here for my daughter.

Men will do all kinds of stupid shiat for their daughters. I've seen Mylie Cyrus *and* Taylor Swift live.
 
2011-11-14 01:33:50 PM  

shortymac: BohemianGraham: metametameta: Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

This. I actually ran out of Black Seal (a 750ML/26er of Rum to be exact) before I finished the book. I aparently stopped when the plot began, at the baseball game.

/I'm a girl
//hate, hate, hate, Twilight

Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

I really hate the series because it glorifies an abusive relationship and pedophilia (the werewolf adults "imprinting" on a toddler... it's not romantic it's called grooming).


My thoughts exactly. I only read 90% of the first one, and watched the first film, after copious amounts of alcohol were involved. I agree with everything you said, as the whole thing is an abusive relationship. I'd only want to see this one to see how the hell they could even make this PG with the birthing scene.

My mother got an e-mail from her school saying that they're doing a special advanced showing at the local theatre for 200 of community collage students, with discounts on snacks, and she, knowing how much I hate the books, told me it was too bad it was on a Thursday night, and my car's broken (and already at her place), so I can't drive home to go with her to make fun of the movie. My mom is awesome.

brigid_fitch: As someone who stood on line for 8 hours to get a copy of the last Harry Potter book, I *should* be okay with this. I've dressed up as X-Men characters & in Star Trek uniforms to see various premieres. I cheered on the Star Wars people, even as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog destroyed them. Seriously, I should give these people a pass.

But I can't. Twilight is a black hole of suck that steals a little of your soul every page turn. The movies are total crap and completely irredeemable. To take off from work for 3 days to camp outside in hopes of catching a glimpse of some guy who's famous for playing a sparkly vampire & getting killed by Voldemort? Ridiculous.


This. I pre-ordered the last Potter film back in September on Blu-ray, and made fish finger cookies and custard for my friends this past weekend, yet Twilight disgusts me, and I can't help but laugh and make fun of the poor saps who fall for this crap.
 
2011-11-14 01:35:50 PM  
From what I've heard about this last book; if they gave it to John Waters, David Lynch or David Cronenberg to direct, I might go see it. But they didn't so my wife can go with her sister...
 
2011-11-14 01:38:57 PM  
My dad likes the movies. A lot of the "wtf" has been drained from my opinion on the matter. I just sort of stare at him blankly and hang my head when he gets all excited that a new one is coming out.
 
2011-11-14 01:40:18 PM  

AcneVulgaris: I dunno.. there's more poon at that campsite than most farkers will ever see.


Yeah, but said poon is connected to Fat Chicks who like Twilight.
 
2011-11-14 01:43:16 PM  

metametameta: You mean: Men who are getting crazy laid tonight photo essay.


Not even in the same ballpark as 'worth it'.
 
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