Cook them into the cookies first?

Like any naughty child, the TSA likes to open gifts before Christmas. Unlike any naughty child, they like to open other people's gifts before Christmas.

Besides, didn't they recently say their responsibility stops at carry-on stuff anyway? Even if they're aware of the presence of illicit material in other baggage? Put it in the Belly of the plane and it's no longer their problem.

And yes, I too feel quite a bit safer now.

Stoned passengers don't seem to be such a big safety issue.

Drunk passengers, on the other hand, are bad news.

Saborlas: Bah, I'm not too worried. Their success rate at catching people intent on blowing up planes remains 0%.

That's not exactly true. According to the fake newspaper stories in the video they run at LAX, they've caught mass murderers and terrorists.

So... is coal allowed on board a plane, or not?

All that money to catch terrorist and all they keep catching is stoner. I farkING HATE THIS WORLD!

You know, when they started that agency it was stated that their job was only to look for weapons. It was specifically spelled out that they wouldn't be checking for drugs.

/ I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The drug war has been keeping LE in business for over 100 years.

tjsands1118: All that money to catch terrorist and all they keep catching is stoner reefer terrorist. I farkING HATE THIS WORLD!

FTFY

SoCalSurfer: Cook them into the cookies first?

That's what I was thinking. Would the TSA actually run some kind of a test on snacks if you carry them on board?

After being damn near molested the last two times I flew, I'm cool with whatever gives those idiots headaches.

But if you're lucky the TSA will leave you a nice note.

tjsands1118: All that money to catch terrorist and all they keep catching is stoner. I farkING HATE THIS WORLD!

What if they catch stoner terrorists?

And they've been saying this for 20 years now, even before 9/11.

You have to be stoned to understand that headline.

SoCalSurfer: Cook them into the cookies first?

my thoughts exactly

BurnShrike: So... is coal allowed on board a plane, or not?

Doesn't it burn hot enough to melt steel?

Yes, I went there.

This is what I like to do when i go to the Oakland airport.

1. Weigh out a half a pound of marijuana.
2. Grab Marijuana prescription and medical card.
3. Place script, medical card, and marijuana in carry on luggage.
4. Proceed to airport.
5. Walk up to TSA agent and tell him I have half a pound of marijuana.
6. Board the plane with a huge grin on my face.
7. Make sure it's all gone before I get on my return flight home.

Rezinball: This is what I like to do when i go to the Oakland airport.

1. Weigh out a half a pound of marijuana.
2. Grab Marijuana prescription and medical card.
3. Place script, medical card, and marijuana in carry on luggage.
4. Proceed to airport.
5. Walk up to TSA agent and tell him I have half a pound of marijuana.
6. Board the plane with a huge grin on my face.
7. Make sure it's all gone before I get on my return flight home.

So what do you smoke the second week you're away?

CrispFlows: El Morro: After being damn near molested the last two times I flew, I'm cool with whatever gives those idiots headaches.

Vaseline.

Seriously, think about how much that would piss them off if the handles have something on them and their first thought is "The fark?! What IS that?"

Yeah, but then you'll get an enhanced interrogation. Sans vaseline.

someahole
You know, when they started that agency it was stated that their job was only to look for weapons. It was specifically spelled out that they wouldn't be checking for drugs.

/ I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The drug war has been keeping LE in business for over 100 years.

This. So this.

Work up a nice sbd for the occasion.

From now on, all of my carry-on bags will be wrapped as presents.

all of the items within my carry-on bags will also be wrapped.

Hopefully it is suspicious enough that the TSA will decide to open them.

Has anyone packed a can of snakes in their baggage yet? these TSA agents need something to cheer them up!

baggins2000: Has anybody done a poll recently asking American citizens if we would like to get rid of the TSA checks at airports.

The only purpose I see to the TSA is a constant reminder that the terrorist won.

Also to get money, it's always money. Hell the main expert that said we needed full body scan machines was but on the full body scan machine companies payroll a couple months after the government contract was signed. It was never about safety or terrorist, just money.

Having worked for the TSA for almost a decade, I am not amused by the perceived abuses of our agency. It boggles my mind why, in this day and age, a person would even think that they could bring a wrapped gift onto an airplane, either carry on or checked. How can they be surprised when we open them? The people complaining about the wrapping policy are the same ones that complain about the long security lines. Well, you morons, if you didn't bring contraband and wrapped gifts with you, then the lines would move a lot faster. You are solely to blame, though I imagine you the type that biatches about the police when you get a speeding ticket. Nothing is ever your fault or your responsibility, eh? Quit doing stupid things and our lives will be much improved.

spentmiles: Having worked for the TSA for almost a decade, I am not amused by the perceived abuses of our agency. It boggles my mind why, in this day and age, a person would even think that they could bring a wrapped gift onto an airplane, either carry on or checked. How can they be surprised when we open them? The people complaining about the wrapping policy are the same ones that complain about the long security lines. Well, you morons, if you didn't bring contraband and wrapped gifts with you, then the lines would move a lot faster. You are solely to blame, though I imagine you the type that biatches about the police when you get a speeding ticket. Nothing is ever your fault or your responsibility, eh? Quit doing stupid things and our lives will be much improved.

And you're obviously an idiot who couldn't get a real job so he you have to shiat on others peoples rights to afford you shiatty apartment and rusting car. It's not your fault you're just making it worst.

Cool story bro time:

I once made some "special" chocolate chip cookies to take on a trip to Las Vegas.

Before the trip, I went to the grocery store and got a dozen chocolate chip cookies from the bakery, and swapped them out, resealing the package and everything. Left the new ones in the same bag with the receipt, then put it in my carry on bag.

I was slightly nervous putting it through the scanner, but I was pretty confident of my plan. Then suddenly they grab my bag, hold it up, and call out "Who's bag is this!" My stomach dropped through the floor.

They opened it up, reach in, and pulled out the little tube of sunscreen that my dumb ass left in there.

No liquids, gels, or lotions allowed.

Ho Ho Ho

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee

Got any pizza?

Anybody know any good bow activated jack-in-the-boxes? Like something that will activate it by something besides an obvious hand crank.

But I can still smuggle drugs if they're wrapped in a condom in my colon, right?

tjsands1118: And you're obviously an idiot who couldn't get a real job so he you have to shiat on others peoples rights to afford you shiatty apartment and rusting car. It's not your fault you're just making it worst.

I know your type. I see you in line every single day. You are wearing sunglasses, indoors, possibly at night. Your carry on is one-and-a-half times the allowed limit, which you know, but knowing doesn't stop you from making an ass out of yourself. You look at me like I'm a mall security guard, someone so far below your social strata that you don't think twice about acting like a complete dickhead to me. You even think it's kind of funny.

Well, I've got this rubber glove here and you've just been randomly selected for further screening. Funny, isn't it?

spentmiles: tjsands1118: And you're obviously an idiot who couldn't get a real job so he you have to shiat on others peoples rights to afford you shiatty apartment and rusting car. It's not your fault you're just making it worst.

I know your type. I see you in line every single day. You are wearing sunglasses, indoors, possibly at night. Your carry on is one-and-a-half times the allowed limit, which you know, but knowing doesn't stop you from making an ass out of yourself. You look at me like I'm a mall security guard, someone so far below your social strata that you don't think twice about acting like a complete dickhead to me. You even think it's kind of funny.

Well, I've got this rubber glove here and you've just been randomly selected for further screening. Funny, isn't it?

This is why people hate TSA.

Capn.Brownbeard: This is why people hate TSA.

This is why spentmiles does what he does.

spentmiles: You look at me like I'm a mall security guard...

Mall security guard? TSA "agents" aren't good enough to lick dog shiat off the boots of a mall security guard.

Came here to say just bake the goods in? Duh.

/not that I've done it
//...ummm a friend of mine told me so :)

Tad_Waxpole: Cool story bro time:

I once made some "special" chocolate chip cookies to take on a trip to Las Vegas.

Before the trip, I went to the grocery store and got a dozen chocolate chip cookies from the bakery, and swapped them out, resealing the package and everything. Left the new ones in the same bag with the receipt, then put it in my carry on bag.

I was slightly nervous putting it through the scanner, but I was pretty confident of my plan. Then suddenly they grab my bag, hold it up, and call out "Who's bag is this!" My stomach dropped through the floor.

They opened it up, reach in, and pulled out the little tube of sunscreen that my dumb ass left in there.

No liquids, gels, or lotions allowed.

haha - I had the same exact thing happen to me...though I wasn't as discrete as you. I just had 3 dozen cookies in a ziplock that said 'Aloha, love mom'

/I was traveling to Hawaii
//awesome trip

Believe me, when I first started, I tried to treat everyone with respect and courtesy. I'm there to enforce the laws and regulations which are not devised by me but rather handed down to me in the hope that we can provide a safe and secure travel experience. But as the months wore on, and I interacted with dolt after dolt, each one somehow believing that he was a special case and the rules should not apply to him, and as the months wore into years, lines after lines of surly people, I realized something about you. You don't want to be treated with respect or courtesy. You want to be treated like insolent little brats who need their asses beat. Well, I can't spank you in front of a crowded airport, so I settle for the next best thing. FWAP. Everyone flinches when my rubber glove makes that sound. You animals really disgust me to the point if I found a explosive in the luggage, I don't even know if I'd say anything.

spentmiles: Believe me, when I first started, I tried to treat everyone with respect and courtesy. I'm there to enforce the laws and regulations which are not devised by me but rather handed down to me in the hope that we can provide a safe and secure travel experience. But as the months wore on, and I interacted with dolt after dolt, each one somehow believing that he was a special case and the rules should not apply to him, and as the months wore into years, lines after lines of surly people, I realized something about you. You don't want to be treated with respect or courtesy. You want to be treated like insolent little brats who need their asses beat. Well, I can't spank you in front of a crowded airport, so I settle for the next best thing. FWAP. Everyone flinches when my rubber glove makes that sound. You animals really disgust me to the point if I found a explosive in the luggage, I don't even know if I'd say anything.

You know the saddest part of this is if it was actually private sector his whinny ass would of been fired a long time ago, but nope it's near impossible to get laid off, even if you threaten to molest people for calling you on being an asshole. Got to love big government!

spentmiles: tjsands1118: And you're obviously an idiot who couldn't get a real job so he you have to shiat on others peoples rights to afford you shiatty apartment and rusting car. It's not your fault you're just making it worst.

I know your type. I see you in line every single day. You are wearing sunglasses, indoors, possibly at night. Your carry on is one-and-a-half times the allowed limit, which you know, but knowing doesn't stop you from making an ass out of yourself. You look at me like I'm a mall security guard, someone so far below your social strata that you don't think twice about acting like a complete dickhead to me. You even think it's kind of funny.

Well, I've got this rubber glove here and you've just been randomly selected for further screening. Funny, isn't it?

1/10

Only because you managed to get a bite

spentmiles: Believe me, when I first started, I tried to treat everyone with respect and courtesy. I'm there to enforce the laws and regulations which are not devised by me but rather handed down to me in the hope that we can provide a safe and secure travel experience. But as the months wore on, and I interacted with dolt after dolt, each one somehow believing that he was a special case and the rules should not apply to him, and as the months wore into years, lines after lines of surly people, I realized something about you. You don't want to be treated with respect or courtesy. You want to be treated like insolent little brats who need their asses beat. Well, I can't spank you in front of a crowded airport, so I settle for the next best thing. FWAP. Everyone flinches when my rubber glove makes that sound. You animals really disgust me to the point if I found a explosive in the luggage, I don't even know if I'd say anything.

LOL, MAXIMUM TROLLING!!!

5/10. Started off really strong but you should have quit after the second post.

Hahaha. Just read that last post. Might've gone a little far. I'm afraid to fly so I've never even been in an airport. Don't want people really believing there's some rouge TSA agent out there. Sounds like a shiatty job to have though.

AverageAmericanGuy: Stoned passengers don't seem to be such a big safety issue.

Drunk passengers, on the other hand, are bad news.

Eh, they *can* be bad news. I've flown hammered before and didn't cause any trouble. If anything it makes me more likely to sleep on the flight. Seats are too small and I have trouble falling asleep sleeping upright.

spentmiles: Believe me, when I first started, I tried to treat everyone with respect and courtesy. I'm there to enforce the laws and regulations which are not devised by me but rather handed down to me in the hope that we can provide a safe and secure travel experience. But as the months wore on, and I interacted with dolt after dolt, each one somehow believing that he was a special case and the rules should not apply to him, and as the months wore into years, lines after lines of surly people, I realized something about you. You don't want to be treated with respect or courtesy. You want to be treated like insolent little brats who need their asses beat. Well, I can't spank you in front of a crowded airport, so I settle for the next best thing. FWAP. Everyone flinches when my rubber glove makes that sound. You animals really disgust me to the point if I found a explosive in the luggage, I don't even know if I'd say anything.

I'll give you a 7 out of 10. You got a lot of bites, but 50% of the population has below average intelligence. The Boobies I read of yours was too obvious, but you can't really trash success.

Have these people not heard of the US Postal Service? Priority Mail flat-rate envelope.... use it.

/get "special" packages all the time addressed to my wife's ex-husband
//weed slashies