Colleen said no to the ring, but couldn't say no to the children.

"I know we have her blessing," says Colleen DeVita, now wearing the ring that was once her sister's.

So, she said no, but then took it after she died? What a heartless biatch!

Whatever blows her skirt up.

Meh. Show me the wife who lets her husband do it while she's alive.


/and both together
//and their mom too
///I'll be in my bunk

Wow, poor guy got a pretty severe downgrade, at least going by the picture in TFA.

Bonk, OK, Pork, OK, but Bork?

That article reads like a pitch for a Lifetime movie fo the week.

I couldn't get past the part describing the mansion.

That's creepy and weird.

Fjornir: F*ck cancer.

Cancer of the f*ck?

She looks kinda old for her age. 45?

Seems to me that the focus here was on the kids. Kudos to mom, dad, and sister for that.

*The bible nods approvingly*

My wife would never do something this evil to me.

Her sister?

~Shuddering ugh~

I can't believe they're even related.

/I suspect the sister is the milkman's kid

time now for the news

It's all for the kids.

(who were promptly sent to the woods with only a basket of food and the clothes on their backs right after the marriage)

Irish twins? Is that when one them gets drunk and the other can feel it?

EyeBallStu: Irish twins? Is that when one them gets drunk and the other can feel it?

Siblings born only about a year apart. The Irish were mostly Catholic, Catholics aren't supposed to use contraceptives, and the Irish like to get drunk and get down, so as soon as they pop out one kid the momma's knocked up with another one. My older brother and I are Irish twins, and his two sons are even closer in age.

illannoyin: My wife would never do something this evil to me.

Her sister? ~Shuddering ugh~ I can't believe they're even related.

/I suspect the sister is the milkman's kid

Um.... your wife is the milkman's kid sir.

Well, nice story and all but I can't feel that it's a bit wrong to throw all that kind of responsibility on a sibling. If they offer to do it, sure. But she probably has her own life she wants to live too, though perhaps she is happy with this setup now.

I can't help but feel***

tl;dr.

Well, I read a little, but I'm diabetic and my sugar level was spiking.

Is this gonna be some sorta Lifetime Movie of the Week? If so, I will kill my TV.

justoneznot: Well, nice story and all but I can't feel that it's a bit wrong to throw all that kind of responsibility on a sibling. If they offer to do it, sure. But she probably has her own life she wants to live too, though perhaps she is happy with this setup now.

Going off the details in the article, it doesn't sound like it. Seems like she's always lived in her sister's shadow and been happy to do so.

I'm guessing that Colleen is a lesbian who is in denial and is repressing her sexuality due to her religious beliefs. She probably married him due to her parents pressure for her to settle down, convenience, her sisters wishes, love of the children, and mistaking a bond she shared by proxy with the husband.

TsarTom: Wow. What a sad story.

Anyway, just happened to have this lying around.

Came here for that. Leaving satisfied.

The happy couple of couples (Venn couples?):

Crudbucket: EyeBallStu: Irish twins? Is that when one them gets drunk and the other can feel it?

Siblings born only about a year apart. The Irish were mostly Catholic, Catholics aren't supposed to use contraceptives, and the Irish like to get drunk and get down, so as soon as they pop out one kid the momma's knocked up with another one. My older brother and I are Irish twins, and his two sons are even closer in age.

Sheesh! That's gotta be hard on the ol' uterus.

Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: Fjornir: F*ck cancer.

Cancer of the f*ck?

the nastiest cancer of all. Pray you don't get it, it's a bit of a buzzkill

Mister Peejay: justoneznot: Well, nice story and all but I can't feel that it's a bit wrong to throw all that kind of responsibility on a sibling.

And if you're male and disagree with it, someone's going to write down an account of how you refused to get your brother's widow pregnant, and a couple thousand years later, people will think that it means masturbation is a sin.

Don't worry, though, your dad will take care of it for you, when he thinks your brothers' (yes, plural) widow is a prostitute and gives her his signet ring to hold in lieu of cash for his trick....

If the sisters were ex-navy it could be just another wave in the gene pool.

Wife: When I die, will you marry again?
Husband: Well, yes, I probably will.
Wife: (with quiver in voice) And will you live in this house?
Husband: Well, yes, it's paid for.
Wife: (voice rising) And will she sleep in our bed?
Husband: I don't see why not.
Wife: (sobbing) And will she use my golf clubs?
Husband: No, she's left handed.

Crudbucket: That's creepy and weird.

And an incredibly selfish thing for the dead sister to ask,

That article was written solely for women. By a woman. I had to stop reading when they went into how they shopped differently. Holy fark. Oh, and up to that point, no mention of what the guy thinks.

LeFort III: That article was written solely for women. By a woman. I had to stop reading when they went into how they shopped differently. Holy fark. Oh, and up to that point, no mention of what the guy thinks.

"Now when I fark [the sister] it's OK."

EyeBallStu: Irish twins? Is that when one them gets drunk and the other can feel it?

No, that's one when one gets into a jam and the other blames all their problems on the English.

Bork? She assassinated his character?

DanInKansas: EyeBallStu: Irish twins? Is that when one them gets drunk and the other can feel it?

No, that's one when one gets into a jam and the other blames all their problems on the English.

No, it's when both kids can only count to potato.

Anyone else think the husband was doing the sister on the side with the wife's approval.

My wife doesn't have a sister. But she does have a brother. I hope she doesn't suggest I go gay if she dies early.

Maturin: Wife: When I die, will you marry again?
Husband: Well, yes, I probably will.
Wife: (with quiver in voice) And will you live in this house?
Husband: Well, yes, it's paid for.
Wife: (voice rising) And will she sleep in our bed?
Husband: I don't see why not.
Wife: (sobbing) And will she use my golf clubs?
Husband: No, she's left handed.

Wife: When I die, will you marry again?
Husband: Well, no, I probably won't.
Wife: (with quiver in voice) Why don't you marry my sister?
Husband: That would be a bit creepy..
Wife: (voice rising) And what exactly is wrong with my sister? She's more like me than any other woman. Is my sister not good enough for you, now? Was I never good enough?
Husband: Well I guess she's alright, but...
Wife: (sobbing) I knew it! I knew it all along! All this time you've been lusting after my sister, haven't you, you bastard?

Its kind of taking control over the husband after death. Sounded more like watching over her kids and keeping an eye on the husband (keep her kids away from someone she didn't know). Sad story. Don't blame the woman with cancer really for the worry. Death is heavy stuff.

Sounds like the plot from Aki-Sora.

/But with less boinking.

Olympus Mons: Its kind of taking control over the husband after death. Sounded more like watching over her kids and keeping an eye on the husband (keep her kids away from someone she didn't know). Sad story. Don't blame the woman with cancer really for the worry. Death is heavy stuff.

Yeah, but still...my dying wish is that no one ever has a chance to move on from my passing, and that the grim reminder of my passing hangs over you for the rest of your days.

I'll bet this will become infuriating for the sister.

Husband: "Make me a sammich, will ya?"
Sister: "Make it yourself!"
Husband: "Your sister used to do it for me"
Sister: "Ugh, fine!"

Husband: "Let's do anal"
Sister: "Eww no! That's gross"
Husband: "Your sister used--"
Sister: "Yeah yeah whatever. Just stop saying that"

There was an episode of This American Life about how a dying woman spent her last months writing letters to her 8-year old daughter, with one for each birthday until she was 21, and then for other occasions... The letter about getting her period was very warm and loving, the letter about dating and boys was inappropriate and cruel.

the letters start out as a comforting memento of a traumatic loss, but as the daughter gets older and starts to get her own personality, the constant, unyielding voice of her mother from the grave haunts her. They had become so out-of-step with the girl's life - invectives to only date boys of her faith, letters that congratulated her on remaining a virgin, and mentions of a set of hobbies discarded and friends lost or left.

It's implied that the father 'loses' the two letters for her on her engagement and wedding day.

Death is death. People need to move on. If you can't move on you get stuck, and powerless to change your life in way that it needs to change in order to be fulfilling. Trying to impose your will beyond the grave is a deep sign of manipulation and distrust.

we need more bork license plates

That headline sounds like necrophilia.

NTTAWWT.

I have a friend whose wife was at one point seriously ill, while their kids were still really young. (She is fine now.) Of course they had a lot of conversations about how to handle the kids, etc. if she didn't recover.

He's the kind of person who would never want to be alone for long - he admits it, and she knows it. So apparently, she decided to list for him the various friends of hers that she would approve of him getting together with after she died, right down to all the reasons she thought each one might be appropriate (e.g., this one's a widow with small kids herself, the kids like this other friend and would get along, etc.).

I have to admit I was taken aback to hear she had said such a thing. If I were in her shoes, I'd want my spouse to grieve and then move on, but I couldn't begin to imagine specifying an acceptable list of options. After all, it's his life then, not ours...

Anyone else get the "Cymbalta" huge ad on the right of the page in which the distressed woman looks exactly like the lady in the article...very strange. In these days of google-ads and adblockers you never know what others are seeing, but it was startlingly weird!

rubi_con_man: There was an episode of This American Life about how a dying woman spent her last months writing letters to her 8-year old daughter, with one for each birthday until she was 21, and then for other occasions... The letter about getting her period was very warm and loving, the letter about dating and boys was inappropriate and cruel.

the letters start out as a comforting memento of a traumatic loss, but as the daughter gets older and starts to get her own personality, the constant, unyielding voice of her mother from the grave haunts her. They had become so out-of-step with the girl's life - invectives to only date boys of her faith, letters that congratulated her on remaining a virgin, and mentions of a set of hobbies discarded and friends lost or left.

It's implied that the father 'loses' the two letters for her on her engagement and wedding day.

Death is death. People need to move on. If you can't move on you get stuck, and powerless to change your life in way that it needs to change in order to be fulfilling. Trying to impose your will beyond the grave is a deep sign of manipulation and distrust.

Two points to add:
1. Mom was a strict Mormon and daughter was not so much, so easy to see why she got out of step.
2. Dad is Gordon Gee, president of THEEEEEEE Ohio State University. Made me realize he's only a partial, rather than complete, twatwaffle.

Mister Peejay: justoneznot: Well, nice story and all but I can't feel that it's a bit wrong to throw all that kind of responsibility on a sibling.

And if you're male and disagree with it, someone's going to write down an account of how you refused to get your brother's widow pregnant, and a couple thousand years later, people will think that it means masturbation is a sin.

Poor Anan got a bad rap, didn't he?

Isn't that "boink"?

Crudbucket: EyeBallStu: Irish twins? Is that when one them gets drunk and the other can feel it?

Siblings born only about a year apart. The Irish were mostly Catholic, Catholics aren't supposed to use contraceptives, and the Irish like to get drunk and get down, so as soon as they pop out one kid the momma's knocked up with another one. My older brother and I are Irish twins, and his two sons are even closer in age.

I'd never heard that term before. My sister was born 13 months before me, and my brother was born 13 months after me. I'd ask if that makes us Irish triplets, but my mom's Polish.

/third kid born before she could legally drink
//good thing she doesn't read Fark
///She's logged into IM right now, watching me...

TsarTom: Wow. What a sad story.

Anyway, just happened to have this lying around.
[daddytypes.com image 400x296]

ArcadianRefugee: The happy couple of couples (Venn couples?):

[spotted.heraldtribune.com image 521x718]

Something about that picture makes me think he took the sister for a couple test drives well before the wife died.

Take my husband, please! (new window)

I truly hope this doesn't happen to me.

My gf has a brother.

Salmon: I truly hope this doesn't happen to me.

My gf has a brother.

Right. But after you die, she's definitely going to shag him.

I don't know what was creepier, the whole "marry my sister when I'm gone" business, or the fetishistic description of their lives of material consumption. It was so smugly 1%-ish that I almost left the house to go find a local OWS branch I could join.

HotIgneous Intruder: Bork? She assassinated his character?

Naw, she grew a scraggly neckbeard.

bohica: Bonk, OK, Pork, OK, but Bork?

The seduction of the sister-in-law?

So, basically, they had a 3 way relationship already(polyamorous like the not-Mormons or otherwise). This was just formal acknowledgement of something they couldn't formally acknowledge before

bhcompy: So, basically, they had a 3 way relationship already(polyamorous like the not-Mormons or otherwise). This was just formal acknowledgement of something they couldn't formally acknowledge before

I wonder if the sister took a "vacation" before the appearance of one of the three children in the family.

Bork is the sound a broken gavel makes.

Sagus: Anyone else think the husband was doing the sister on the side with the wife's approval.

Yup, came here to say this.

Trapper439: Maturin: Wife: When I die, will you marry again?
Husband: Well, yes, I probably will.
Wife: (with quiver in voice) And will you live in this house?
Husband: Well, yes, it's paid for.
Wife: (voice rising) And will she sleep in our bed?
Husband: I don't see why not.
Wife: (sobbing) And will she use my golf clubs?
Husband: No, she's left handed.

Wife: When I die, will you marry again?
Husband: Well, no, I probably won't.
Wife: (with quiver in voice) Why don't you marry my sister?
Husband: That would be a bit creepy..
Wife: (voice rising) And what exactly is wrong with my sister? She's more like me than any other woman. Is my sister not good enough for you, now? Was I never good enough?
Husband: Well I guess she's alright, but...
Wife: (sobbing) I knew it! I knew it all along! All this time you've been lusting after my sister, haven't you, you bastard?

hahahahahaaaaaa ahahahahhaaaaaaaaaa You lusty bastard...
But weighing in the story...they do look alike so he gets the same wife almost with no saggy boobs or stretch marks...sounds like making the best out of a bad situation.

Alphax: She looks kinda old for her age. 45?

Cancer has a tendency to do that to you.

Crudbucket: That's creepy and weird.

No it isn't. It's actually quite common. Jewish law used to require that if a man dies, his brother is expected to take his wife as his own.

JackieRabbit:
Crudbucket: That's creepy and weird.

No it isn't. It's actually quite common. Jewish law used to require that if a man dies, his brother is expected to take his wife as his own.

Saying that it's "Jewish law" does not make the practice any less creepy or weird. Yahweh is a pretty creepy and weird god, after all.

Also I doubt that this particular law has been obeyed much in the last hundred years or so.

Did subby bork the Florida tag?

punkhippie: JackieRabbit:
Crudbucket: That's creepy and weird.

No it isn't. It's actually quite common. Jewish law used to require that if a man dies, his brother is expected to take his wife as his own.

Saying that it's "Jewish law" does not make the practice any less creepy or weird. Yahweh is a pretty creepy and weird god, after all.

Also I doubt that this particular law has been obeyed much in the last hundred years or so.

I want for you to tell me how marrying your wife's sister is creepy and weird, because it just isn't. My ex-wife's sister was hot. A complete biatch, but hot.

Once a person has passed a certain threshhold of wealth, they have so much effortless control over their life story that it takes a lot to make the story interesting again. I was a little nauseated that half this article was about a gigantic house.

Phlem Pickens: It's all for the kids.

(who were promptly sent to the woods with only a basket of food and the clothes on their backs right after the marriage)

Wow. I didn't even think of that. You just made my day AWESOME.

theorellior: I don't know what was creepier, the whole "marry my sister when I'm gone" business, or the fetishistic description of their lives of material consumption. It was so smugly 1%-ish that I almost left the house to go find a local OWS branch I could join.

This. This was my point right here.

I briefly and pretty jokingly talked about this with my husband. I had thyroid cancer this year (SO easy to get rid of). His response was: "Have you SEEN our son? He's adorable when he's not at home with us. After your funeral, I'll have pussy every day of the week if I want it."

And he's smart enough to keep his dick out of crazy, so I think he'll be fine if I bite it any time soon. :)

AngryJailhouseFistfark: BuckyFudge: ArcadianRefugee: The happy couple of couples (Venn couples?):

[spotted.heraldtribune.com image 521x718]

Something about that picture makes me think he took the sister for a couple test drives well before the wife died.

I had this same impression. If Husband did not boink the sister-in-law before Wife died, he was most certainly imagining the possibilities.

All three of them have the crazy eyes.

JackieRabbit: I want for you to tell me how marrying your wife's sister is creepy and weird, because it just isn't. My ex-wife's sister was hot. A complete biatch, but hot.

Um, when you treat a woman as a commodity to be traded off to a brother when her husband dies, that's creepy. And, in this day and age, weird. By the way, this was not an equal opportunity law. If your wife died, you didn't get dibs on her sister. Sorry.

Dracolich: *The bible nods approvingly*

There's a lack of the customary pillar of salt in this article.

On the other hand, if it was good enough for the crowned heads of Europe, by which I mean genetically devastating.

"Who, this? He's my brother...and my cousin!"

Irish twins?

ArcadianRefugee: The happy couple of couples (Venn couples?):

[spotted.heraldtribune.com image 521x718]

Where's the HERO tag for the husband²?

Bagging a pair of sweet-sweet thangs deserves a high-five.

/My own wife's sister was hot, now just lumpy and biatchy.

Ah speeling.

I now have a mental image of the poor former hubby running screaming from the swedish chef.

Makes you wonder if there was some 3some action going on prior?

Lucky bastard.

untaken_name: Wow, poor guy got a pretty severe downgrade, at least going by the picture in TFA.

Can't judge by just the pic man...

for all we know the sister who took over is a freak in the sack and the sister who didn't make it was ice cubes in bed.

punkhippie: Um, when you treat a woman as a commodity to be traded off to a brother when her husband dies, that's creepy. And, in this day and age, weird. By the way, this was not an equal opportunity law. If your wife died, you didn't get dibs on her sister. Sorry.

You know how I know you didn't read the FA? THE DYING SISTER ASKED HER SURVIVING SISTER TO TAKE HER PLACE AFTER SHE DIED. So it isn't a case of guys trading women back and forth. No one is being treated like a commodity in this situation.

That`s just weird

illannoyin: My wife would never do something this evil to me.

Her sister?

~Shuddering ugh~

I can't believe they're even related.

/I suspect the sister is the milkman's kid

Thankfully my wife is complete estranged from her sister so I'm in the clear.

This is creepy to the max IMHO. If my wife were to die I would do my best to move onto another phase of my life. That will be difficult enough without seeing her sibling all the time. Of course, we don't have kids (unless you count cats, but you probably don't).

bork???

JackieRabbit: You know how I know you didn't read the FA? THE DYING SISTER ASKED HER SURVIVING SISTER TO TAKE HER PLACE AFTER SHE DIED. So it isn't a case of guys trading women back and forth. No one is being treated like a commodity in this situation.

Besides the husband, the house, and the kids, you mean?

JackieRabbit:
You know how I know you didn't read the FA? THE DYING SISTER ASKED HER SURVIVING SISTER TO TAKE HER PLACE AFTER SHE DIED. So it isn't a case of guys trading women back and forth. No one is being treated like a commodity in this situation.

You asked me to explain why the Jewish law about brothers marrying widows was creepy and weird. So I did. Sorry that made you feel all shouty.

My wife's sister is already married, to a man who's more like my wife. The sister is more like me. It's kinda like the ending of Roseanne where, contrary to the series, the sisters were married to the opposite spouses. Just sayin'...