Don't Panic, things will be ironed out.

What, subby, Is the "Ironing" tag on vacation?

Because she's steamed?

unavailable for comment

He should have just protested.

*jots note*



got it!

If the average Farker knows as much about ironing as I do then we won't be sewing a long thread here.

insert generic 'ironic' joke

Looks like he'll be Martinized when the shirts come back with extra starch and a missing sock!

I'd say that if you light the ironing board on fire, there's very little chance that she will be pressing anything...

/hey, cut me some slacks, it's been a long week

Everytime I read a Fark article from NW Florida Daily News, I have to check if it's someone I know from my days in Navarre.

/Redneck Riviera Pride is a helluva thing

But she definitely won't press your shirt!

If he bought for her for Christmas, it's OK.

Good headline, much more subtle than the in-thread jokes.

Safety tip: Never stand near a pissed-off woman who's holding an iron.

This sort of domestic violence is a pressing problem.

Larry Lynn whatever his name is looks like a pirate. Arrrgghh.

offmymeds: [images.onset.freedom.com image 560x420]

Safety tip: Never stand near a pissed-off woman who's holding an iron.

He wants some shtank on his swing low and got wacked upside the head with a smoothie?

She deserved it.

Lol. Jokes on you ex-bfs! I dont own an iron or ironing board!

Porous Horace: Looks like he'll be Martinized when the shirts come back with extra starch and a missing sock!

She's gonna go all one hour cleaners on him and iron his nuts.

EmmaLou: Lol. Jokes on you ex-bfs! I dont own an iron or ironing board!

Is that why they're ex-bfs?

Well, duh, subby.

Of course the girlfriend would be pissed if her boyfriend burned down her ironing board.

His shirts aren't going to iron themselves, Honey.

Publikwerks: EmmaLou: Lol. Jokes on you ex-bfs! I dont own an iron or ironing board!

Is that why they're ex-bfs?

Nah she probably just leaves the clothes in a heap for a month at a time.

/yes ladies, some of you are slobs too...

Monster! He took away everything that defined her as a woman!
/joking!

CSB: A female friend of mine had been dating for a short while. The one time I met him, my "he's got teh crazy" radar lit up full force. Eventually, she broke up with him. And that's when she learned the tillerman35 rule of dating crazy:

You don't quit crazy. Crazy has to quit you.

Actually, he was mostly sane about the breakup, but there was one incident that will forever be in my memory. About 2AM one morning, my friend called me and asked if I could come over and hang out with her for the rest of the night. She sounded upset, so I asked her what was the matter. It turned out that she had come home after a date only to find this guy in her apartment sitting on the couch in the dark. He said "hello." She screamed. He apologized profusely. She kicked him out. End of story, right?

Wrong. As she was talking to me, she walked around her house and made gruesome discovery: He had cleaned the whole place. He did the dishes, swept up, straightened the living room, did the laundry (even folded her underwear), etc. She never did find out WHY he did all that. Our guess was that he wanted to get in her good graces or something. But breaking into an ex-girlfriend's house (technically walking into it since she had forgotten to ask for her key back) and folding her dainties? That might be considered a little weird in some circles.

Anyway, we never heard from him again so apparently Crazy quit her when he realized that he had goofed up. My wife (fiance at the time) used to joke that she planned to date this guy and periodically break up with him when the housework got ahead of her.

The weird thing about these stories is that the people in them are still around (probably). Somewhere, there's a guy who remembers this as one of the lowest points of his entire life. He probably lost Teh Crazy in his late 20's, met a nice girl and settled down. But every now and then, he cringes when the memory of that night comes to mind. I know he does- I have at least a half dozen similar nights in my memory that I periodically cringe about. None quite as amusing as this one, but then I was never quite that creative. I was definitely that stupid, though. The one bad breakup I had, I would probably have employed the "if I clean her place, she'll take me back" strategem. Fortunately, I never thought of it. Plus I hate cleaning anyway.

So if you're that guy reading this CSB, I apologize for bringing up a bad memory. (And if you're my old friend, I apologize for not keeping in touch.)

Not a smooth criminal.

/Sha-mon!

I love my ex-girlfriend.