if you thought the Skip It was dangerous, you fail at life.

/two-run, two-jump, two-hop-hop

I actually had the Creepy Crawlers Oven. Looking back on it, I can't really figure out why a 9 year-old girl had a toy like that, but I remember having a lot of fun with it.

/and second degree burns

Bah. When I was nine my dad bought me Rusty Metal Grab Bag. We had to use our imagination; none of this x-cube stuff.

Safest toy (not counting splinters):

MaestroJ: He was a meter maid, and wasn't working long enough for Workman's Comp.

If he was drinking and playing skip-it on the job, he has bigger issues......like being dismissed outright, for cause.

I remember the commercials for all of those. Amazing how well advertising sticks in your head after all these years. I was a teenager by 1992, so I was too old to own any of these, but I do remember them. Depending on how weighted that Skip-It ball is, yeah, that could really conk you in the ankle.

I like how they essentially redesigned the Easy Bake Oven for a male perspective.

MaestroJ: Cool Story Bro on Skip It:

One of our friends found his sister's old Skip-it. This was one of those ones specifically geared toward girls and looked like a giant flower. After having a few beers in him he decided "I wonder if I'm still good at a Skip It?" Naturally being much stronger than he was as a kid, he starts winging it around. The chord thing catches his other leg, and it swings up and smashes him on the side of the knee. He falls, tries to stand up, falls again and says, "I think we have a problem." But he decides to finish his beer before we take him to the hospital.

This man tore his ACL on a Skip-It. He was a meter maid, and wasn't working long enough for Workman's Comp. Fail.

Why would he even be eligible for a Worker's Comp claim if the incident happened at home while drunk? (I'm assuming he was at home, but if he was at work drunk he would still be ineligible for WC and probably jobless for being drunk at work.)

Even in the halcyon days of my youth, I can't believe we ever thought the pogo-stick was a good idea. I mean, seriously.....no one saw that coming? Really?

MaestroJ: Cool Story Bro on Skip It:

One of our friends found his sister's old Skip-it. This was one of those ones specifically geared toward girls and looked like a giant flower. After having a few beers in him he decided "I wonder if I'm still good at a Skip It?" Naturally being much stronger than he was as a kid, he starts winging it around. The chord thing catches his other leg, and it swings up and smashes him on the side of the knee. He falls, tries to stand up, falls again and says, "I think we have a problem." But he decides to finish his beer before we take him to the hospital.

This man tore his ACL on a Skip-It. He was a meter maid, and wasn't working long enough for Workman's Comp. Fail.

Uh, dude, workman's comp is for injuries sustained while on the job, not while drunk at your friend's house.

I remember Clackers (new window). Just one of the many re-imagined Ninja weapons that kids find irresistible.

This article is nearly the same as a Cracked post from four years ago:

Link (new window)

As a little kid, I'd try to see how high I could throw lawn darts straight up into the air. I'm surprised that my family and I are still alive.

Clackers (new window)
must...study...linking...

I remember back in the Sixties this cool toy gun that shot pennies. Pretty hard, too. The sure don't make those now.

I don't remember either knowing or hearing about any kids killed in those all metal jungle gyms that used to be in the parks, although I think they were designed by people who hated kids. Those all metal slides got so hot in the summertime it was like baking yourself alive, for all of two seconds.

The Water Wiggle. You have elected the way of pain.

johnson442: I remember Clackers (new window). Just one of the many re-imagined Ninja weapons that kids find irresistible.

There was a guy at a parade a couple of weeks ago who was selling what were essentially clackers. Only, the balls are now about two inches in diameter with LEDs blinking in them on foot-long strings. Somehow, the clackers of our youth seem a LOT safer than these new ones.

Also, I'd like to add slap bracelets to the list. I'm glad they're coming back, though, for today's generation to realize what a horrible (and sometimes painful) accessory they are.

The Dragon Fly crap was the only thing looked dangerous.
Hair chewing doll looked painful and probably scary as hell to a young girl.
The oven, to a retard, could cause injury or fire.

The rest were just toys. Unless you were a super farking nerd, which I suspect a larger % of you are than the people I encounter everyday, then I suppose you could get all worked up and hit someone too hard with the Star Wars crap.

While it wasn't a dangerous toy, the worst one I remember getting for Christmas was a Viewmaster with scenes of America's historical sites. What freekin' 6 year old wants to look at Mount Rushmore and the Statue of Liberty?

When I was 7 I was running behind my hoop and stick and tripped over a rabbit that my 9 year old brother had just shot with his 30.06. I landed face first into a cow pie and swallowed one of the mushrooms growing in it. I tripped balls for two days. Mom gave me some of dad's whiskey to calm me down.

I loved my skip it and it wasn't dangerous. I hurt myself more often with the pogo stick.

I don't know what the psi on these things were, but it was quite high. My oldest had one of these. For awhile.


157 decibels. My brother had one of these, and I can still hear it, feel it, and am not suprised that some kids lost hearing from them. Honestly though, they weren't all that fun. They only fired huge blasts of air, and you really can only do so much with that against a slingshot.

/Yes, when I was a kid, slingshots were considered toys, and you weren't completely dressed unless you had one on you.

Balchinian The Water Wiggle. You have elected the way of pain.

I had forgotten about those. I HATED mine. They made the hose on that thing just long enough to wrap around your body so you would get smacked in the face by that smiley faced plastic cup.

offacue: When I was 7 I was running behind my hoop and stick and tripped over a rabbit that my 9 year old brother had just shot with his 30.06. I landed face first into a cow pie and swallowed one of the mushrooms growing in it. I tripped balls for two days. Mom gave me some of dad's whiskey to calm me down.

I call Bullshait!

My balls are usually around my ankles. Is this not true for anyone else? Must be how well endowed I am

/ depends on how hot it is

IamKaiserSoze!!!: Toys were already pussified by the '90's.

The '60's and '70's however had plenty of toys that could seriously f*ck you up

[i781.photobucket.com image 640x293]

done in one

Just gonna slap one of these on:



/they could really do some damage back in the day.

Those Sky Dancers are no joke. My sister had one and at one point got it in her head to launch it at me. It feels like getting biatchslapped by Tinkerbell on a bender.

I'm more offended they found a way to market Sky Dancers to boys.

How did the Metal Molder not make the list?

don't forget this handy dandy:

Yup - Jarts/lawn darts in the early 70's. Anything else is Pussy-stuff. At a picnic at a friend's house we threw a jart so high/hard that it stuck in the woodwork in the side of the house.

My brothers had a 1970's Creepy Crawlers thing-maker. The version for girls that I was stuck with made pink butterflies instead. There was no lightbulb and no plastic housing to slide it into. It plugged into the wall and had an actual heating element. The lack of a "housing" allowed maximum exposure of hot metal to childhood skin, and also maximum exposure to hydrocarbon fumes.

Hair-eating babydolls are nothing. The neighbor kid put a reved-up "whizzer" (look it up) in my long hair once. Almost had to cut it out.

/get off my lawn