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(Hollyscoop) Spiffy Jessica Biel does the ol' "I'd do another nude scene if the director would say that it's tastefully done" routine   (hollyscoop.com) divider line 51
More: Spiffy, Jessica Biel, nude scenes, Mila Kunis, engagement rings, Justin Timberlake  
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6766 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Nov 2011 at 11:04 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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GreenAdder [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 08:19:28 PM
So would I, Jessica, but no directors ever call me.
 
Adolf Oliver Nipples [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 08:34:18 PM
If I were the director I'd tell her anything she wants to hear to get her to drop her clothes. This time make it a "tastefully done" movie that requires total nudity for extended periods of time, complete with HD cameras.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 09:39:56 PM
Good, the lighting in her last nude scene was sub-par.
 
slayer199 [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 10:07:21 PM
Translated - "I'm desperate for work and don't want to do Skinamax movies"
 
unyon [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 10:18:04 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: If I were the director I'd tell her anything she wants to hear to get her to drop her clothes. This time make it a "tastefully done" movie that requires total nudity for extended periods of time, complete with HD cameras.

Personally, I'd like to see her in a tastefully done gangbang scene.
 
Tickle Mittens
2011-11-12 11:08:13 PM
Is this the thread where everyone agrees Ulee's Gold should have had more nude scenes?
 
Apos [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 11:13:56 PM
Tickle Mittens: Is this the thread where everyone agrees Ulee's Gold should have had more nude scenes?

If Jessica Biel was part of it,then yes.
 
lasercannon
2011-11-12 11:20:29 PM
Tickle Mittens: Is this the thread where everyone agrees Ulee's Gold should have had more nude scenes?

Dude, she was 15 when she filmed that movie came out..... That is too old for someone to do their first nude scene.
 
zombiegoat
2011-11-12 11:32:40 PM
lasercannon: Tickle Mittens: Is this the thread where everyone agrees Ulee's Gold should have had more nude scenes?

Dude, she was 15 when she filmed that movie came out..... That is too old for someone to do their first nude scene.

I think we're done here. You win a prize.
 
JasonOfOrillia
2011-11-12 11:33:18 PM
Christ, anything to get her out of that godawful dress.

/funny how most clothing looks better when it's not on her.
 
Cyno01 [TotalFark]
2011-11-12 11:34:51 PM
Yeah, i just did a GIS for "powder blue" "jessica biel". I... dont think that counts as tasteful.

/fap
 
zappaisfrank
2011-11-12 11:43:39 PM
As long as that rockin' ass is bare, I'm ok with this!
 
rickycal78
2011-11-12 11:54:54 PM
I'd take tasteful over the nudity in Powder Blue. Her nude scene there was kind of depressing. Yeah yeah, I know 2 dudes on the couch, but that whole scene with the wax and the crying kinda turned me off.
 
The_Great_Hambino
2011-11-13 12:08:26 AM
Cyno01: Yeah, i just did a GIS for "powder blue" "jessica biel". I... dont think that counts as tasteful.

/fap

That reminds me... you can do video searches on Google.


/DAT ASS
 
TyrantII
2011-11-13 12:26:17 AM
Yeah, cause playing a stripper is tasteful. Heh.
 
Assimilate This
2011-11-13 12:30:21 AM
FTFA: Great, yet another movie where I have to cover my boyfriend's eyes. He can't know that there are women look like that.

Really? You have a problem with your boyfriend seeing naked women on a movie screen? REALLY?
 
rocky_howard
2011-11-13 12:38:56 AM
FTFA: Jessica, who recently ruinited with boyfriend Justin Timberlake

pawsru.org
 
colimar
2011-11-13 12:40:58 AM
jamiedubs.com
 
zarberg
2011-11-13 12:43:49 AM
Assimilate This: FTFA: Great, yet another movie where I have to cover my boyfriend's eyes. He can't know that there are women look like that.

Really? You have a problem with your boyfriend seeing naked women on a movie screen? REALLY?

My wife is usually drooling as much as I do when there are hot naked women on screen.
 
S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.
2011-11-13 12:44:36 AM
Hmmmm. Jessica Biel. I always have to try to remember what she looks like. Then I come to thread, and not even any pictures. That says it all.
 
Third_Uncle_Eno
2011-11-13 12:48:21 AM
Mugato [TotalFark]
Good, the lighting in her last nude scene was sub-par.

you were paying attention to the lighting?? ;-) :p
 
PizzaJedi81
2011-11-13 12:50:08 AM
S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Hmmmm. Jessica Biel. I always have to try to remember what she looks like. Then I come to thread, and not even any pictures. That says it all.

pohdiaries.com

And the most pertinant image:

legacy.barstoolsports.com
 
zarberg
2011-11-13 01:03:17 AM
PizzaJedi81: S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Hmmmm. Jessica Biel. I always have to try to remember what she looks like. Then I come to thread, and not even any pictures. That says it all.

[pohdiaries.com image 371x500]

And the most pertinant image:

[legacy.barstoolsports.com image 390x573]

Also wik:

jessicabiel.fansiter.com

www.celebs09.com
 
braedan
2011-11-13 01:33:38 AM
PizzaJedi81: And the most pertinent image:

I'll link the gifs below rather than just posting them in the thread.
Remember the good 'ol days when Fark reveled in the debauchery?

Being an adult stinks.

Ass Wiggle (new window)

Nice Tits. (new window)
 
contrapunctus
2011-11-13 04:15:30 AM
When did 'tastefully done' become the language of rationalization for modern attention whoring?

\\Any nudity with Biel is tasteful.
 
MagSeven
2011-11-13 05:40:40 AM
Assimilate This: FTFA: Great, yet another movie where I have to cover my boyfriend's eyes. He can't know that there are women look like that.

Really? You have a problem with your boyfriend seeing naked women on a movie screen? REALLY?

Or she could be joking, Mr. Miss the Obvious.
 
adhamh
2011-11-13 09:15:19 AM
Only in America is topless considered "nude".
 
Kurmudgeon
2011-11-13 10:31:25 AM
rickycal78: Her nude scene there was kind of depressing. Yeah yeah, I know 2 dudes on the couch, but that whole scene with the wax and the crying kinda turned me off.

Nothing messes up a good thing like bummer nudity. Show them titties and be happy about!
 
Thagnut
2011-11-13 10:50:37 AM
She had a great scene with Adam Sandler where she basically let him paw at her bra for a couple minutes.

Better than nood (!)
 
Flappyhead
2011-11-13 11:08:57 AM
You know, I've got a great idea for a tasteful nude scene. It involves her and Shakira in a "Best Ass" contest involving a lot of wiggling, bending and stretching as the climax to an emotional story about life, love and loss. The working title for the movie is Greatest Thing Evar.
 
ghoti_nap
2011-11-13 11:25:12 AM
Flappyhead: You know, I've got a great idea for a tasteful nude scene. It involves her and Shakira in a "Best Ass" contest involving a lot of wiggling, bending and stretching as the climax to an emotional story about life, love and loss. The working title for the movie is Greatest Thing Evar.

Ass II - The Great Shake-Up ?

//Probably sweep the Golden Globes and the Oscars
 
HempHead
2011-11-13 11:26:30 AM
adhamh: Only in America is topless considered "nude".

Americans are afraid of the nipple.
 
rickycal78
2011-11-13 11:30:46 AM
Flappyhead: You know, I've got a great idea for a tasteful nude scene. It involves her and Shakira in a "Best Ass" contest involving a lot of wiggling, bending and stretching as the climax to an emotional story about life, love and loss. The working title for the movie is Greatest Thing Evar.

I've got a better idea. I'll be the judge of that Best ass contest, but it involves motorboating both of their asses and having them both sit on my face for long periods of time.
 
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick
2011-11-13 11:39:43 AM
Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

Gimme a thick and feminine cutie and I'm good.
 
Smackledorfer
2011-11-13 02:14:15 PM
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

Gimme a thick and feminine cutie and I'm good.

You are that guy, and no she doesn't. Define think or be dubbed a chubby chaser.
 
Smackledorfer
2011-11-13 02:21:54 PM
*thick
 
braedan
2011-11-13 02:39:01 PM
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

Gimme a thick and feminine cutie and I'm good.

I think this is more Gordie's style:

images3.makefive.com

/Three simple words...
 
Diogenes Teufelsdrockh
2011-11-13 02:55:40 PM
Flappyhead: You know, I've got a great idea for a tasteful nude scene. It involves her and Shakira in a "Best Ass" contest involving a lot of wiggling, bending and stretching as the climax to an emotional story about life, love and loss. The working title for the movie is Greatest Thing Evar.

I'm thinking: Garden of Eden with Eve (Biel) and Lilith (Shakira) as lesbian lovers? Lots of tasting of forbidden fruits to ensue.
 
garandman1a
2011-11-13 03:30:21 PM
Smackledorfer: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

Gimme a thick and feminine cutie and I'm good.

You are that guy, and no she doesn't. Define think or be dubbed a chubby chaser.

I don't know if it's a mannish thing or not, but to me she is definitely a butterface and always has been. Plus, she has been with Justin Timberlake, NOT a selling point.

Still, she does have a great bod, built for speed. Which is good, because I would finish quite fast given the opportunity.
 
Flappyhead
2011-11-13 04:06:53 PM
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.


Doggie style my friend. I could spend a whole weekend bouncing my abs off that ass.

/I like the face
 
PizzaJedi81
2011-11-13 04:43:45 PM
Flappyhead: /I like the face

I agree. It's one of the prettiest I've ever come across.
 
Flappyhead
2011-11-13 04:50:58 PM
PizzaJedi81: Flappyhead: /I like the face

I agree. It's one of the prettiest I've ever come across.

LIAR!!!
 
PizzaJedi81
2011-11-13 04:57:50 PM
Flappyhead: PizzaJedi81: Flappyhead: /I like the face

I agree. It's one of the prettiest I've ever come across.

LIAR!!!

I have so, and I have the stains on my monitor to prove it!
 
Mentat [TotalFark]
2011-11-13 05:00:21 PM
The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

What the hell kind of men do you hang out with?

Tell me you wouldn't.
 
TyrantII
2011-11-13 05:48:13 PM
garandman1a: Smackledorfer: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

Gimme a thick and feminine cutie and I'm good.

You are that guy, and no she doesn't. Define think or be dubbed a chubby chaser.

I don't know if it's a mannish thing or not, but to me she is definitely a butterface and always has been. Plus, she has been with Justin Timberlake, NOT a selling point.

Still, she does have a great bod, built for speed. Which is good, because I would finish quite fast given the opportunity.

Butter face? Manish face?

WTH are you guys smoking?

As for who Hollywood celebrities are with, heh. We're going to be arguing which sloppy seconds is better? Really? Yeah, fun times.
 
The Numbers
2011-11-13 08:05:38 PM
Mentat: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

What the hell kind of men do you hang out with?

Tell me you wouldn't.

Thank God she's not an AW.
 
Flappyhead
2011-11-13 08:43:45 PM
Mentat: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

What the hell kind of men do you hang out with?

Tell me you wouldn't.

I'm fairly certain ten more seconds of that would've resulted in the first ever girl on girl rape on daytime television.
 
zarberg
2011-11-13 08:51:13 PM
Kurmudgeon: rickycal78: Her nude scene there was kind of depressing. Yeah yeah, I know 2 dudes on the couch, but that whole scene with the wax and the crying kinda turned me off.

Nothing messes up a good thing like bummer nudity. Show them titties and be happy about!

I know what you mean about the crying thing. I call that "every time I have sex."
 
wistfulparanoia
2011-11-13 10:01:09 PM
The Studman69 is strong in this thread.
 
That coward David Lopan
2011-11-13 10:11:36 PM
Mentat: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Not to be "that guy," but she has a mannish face.

What the hell kind of men do you hang out with?

Tell me you wouldn't.

Now that's a girl who knows she's hot. And I agree with her. Just last night my buddy and I were discussing how she is absolute perfection.
 
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