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(Scranton Times Tribune)   University of Scranton cheerleaders' tales of drinking and oral sex a hoax. Prospective male students: "Shucks"   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
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11100 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2003 at 7:48 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

72 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-10-03 01:02:05 PM  
Of course the hazing allegations were dismissed. it's not hazing if the girls are willing participants.
2003-10-03 01:05:44 PM  
A lot of repeat links today.
2003-10-03 01:06:40 PM  
Err. Wait. Nevermind.

/half asleep after Taco Bell-induced food coma
2003-10-03 01:12:30 PM  
I don't care what they say. I'm still going to fantasize about University of Scranton cheerleaders blowing chunk and then chowing down on my manhood. Don't try to stop me.
2003-10-03 01:40:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-10-03 01:50:17 PM  
Their parents must be so proud.
2003-10-03 01:54:52 PM  
They must not get much sun in Scranton.
2003-10-03 03:20:36 PM  
But.... They said it was gonna be me.
2003-10-03 05:46:27 PM  
Hmm... now if this is a hoax, along the lines of that popular Las Vegas shoot-a-naked-woman-in-the-ass hoax, then there MUST be a videotape somewhere.

Farkers, you have your mission assignment. Now make Drew proud!
2003-10-03 07:02:09 PM  
No, it was the male cheerleaders who had to give the BJs.
2003-10-03 07:39:53 PM  
I think their coach is, uhm, "lebanese."
2003-10-03 07:51:01 PM  
Anyone wanna buy a plane ticket to Scranton?
2003-10-03 07:54:26 PM  
Gimme an 'H' - Gimme an 'E' - Gimme an 'A' - Gimme an 'D'!
2003-10-03 07:59:48 PM  
did anyone say this earlier? I'm guessing the parent of a girl that didnt' make the cheerleading squad, can you imagine what SHE looked like, yeesh!
2003-10-03 08:00:33 PM  
"...might still face disciplinary action for planning a party at which alcohol was to be served to minor underclassmen."

Planning? Must have found the to do list.

Step 1. Buy Booze
Step 2. Serve to minor underclassmen
Step 3. Limbo
2003-10-03 08:00:55 PM  
I thought the headline read, "University of Scrotum". Sheesh...
2003-10-03 08:07:16 PM  
Say it isn't so. I so wanted to believe.
At least it is still possible in the movies
2003-10-03 08:15:25 PM  
The whole story was just too big a load for me to swallow.
2003-10-03 08:16:25 PM  
Pasty, but tasty. Mmm-hmm.
2003-10-03 08:20:56 PM  
"Shucks"? Shouldn't that be "Sucks"?
2003-10-03 08:21:43 PM  
[image from too old to be available] or [image from too old to be available]

I'm leaning towards unlikely.
2003-10-03 08:22:41 PM  
I don't care what you say! I'm still going to remember them as the girls I thought they were!

Mmmm...Katie Juron.
2003-10-03 08:23:08 PM  
Front row, bottom left.

You guys can fight over the rest.
2003-10-03 08:24:56 PM  
I called it. Ergo I am better than all who did not.
2003-10-03 08:25:38 PM  
beat you by about 27 seconds Devilsnight! Katie is all mine...
2003-10-03 08:27:30 PM  
I used to live in Wilkes-Barre which is Scranton's sister city. And no, they don't get much sun there. That's why I live in Tucson now. I find it hard to believe that anyone is trying to stop college students (even if they are cheerleaders) from drinking. That's one of the biggest passtimes in Pennsylvania.
2003-10-03 08:36:25 PM  
Of course they said there was nothing to the claims of sexual abuse by clergy also....

When I lived in Scranton, U 0f S had not yet gone Co-ed. Simpler times.
2003-10-03 08:39:43 PM  
I don't think so devilsnight, I will bend you over and have my way with you....
2003-10-03 08:40:34 PM  
I was hoping it involveed 30,000 pounds of bananas.
2003-10-03 08:40:50 PM  

Damn, damn damn. Fine, I'll take the ugly one.
2003-10-03 08:42:05 PM  
Mike Oxlong

With a name like that, stay the hell away from me. Instead, go for one of the fine ladies from Scranton.
2003-10-03 08:42:46 PM  
I have already had all of them.
2003-10-03 08:43:06 PM  
euglena_x: You'd be surprised. Colleges get good press and occasionally funding for trying to cut down on underage drinking. Penn State tried to circulate the message that most students only have three or four drinks, but it didn't work and they went back to issuing citations.

And Pennsylvania in general doesn't get much sun outside of summer...though maybe coal dust or something is at fault for Scranton...
2003-10-03 08:47:24 PM  
...might still face disciplinary action for planning a party at which alcohol was to be served to minor underclassmen.

Um, it's a college. There has to be 5 of these every weekend night. Are they surpirsed they found out about this? You'd think they'd know about more of them.
2003-10-03 08:47:24 PM  
which one? they are ALL ugly!
but, wait, i am sure that they all have GREAT personalities, right?
2003-10-03 08:48:12 PM  
that would be 30,000 pounds of MASHED bananas...
2003-10-03 08:51:23 PM  
"Yes, we will punish all of those(whoever they are) who thought about the possibility of maybe planning a party where alcohol might possibly have been served to minors."
Philip K. Dick is yelling "I told you so" from the grave. God bless John Ashcroft, all we have to do is think about something, and in comes the SS. Any odds on no one getting punished for not doing anything(yet)?

/need beer
2003-10-03 08:54:06 PM  
I have a penis....
2003-10-03 08:56:31 PM  

How is Wilkes-Barre? I once read that it's the best hyphenated city in America and the area is known for its prosperous economy, honest government, lush greenery and pristine streams.

Is this true?
2003-10-03 08:56:31 PM  
Mike Oxlong..
That's great to hear.
2003-10-03 09:08:06 PM  
Those cheerleaders are more hotter than Elle Macpherson.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-10-03 09:09:14 PM  
I'd hit it..
2003-10-03 09:09:39 PM  
didn't the power of fark determine this 0.324 seconds after the original post?

uncorroborated anonymous letter indicting 'popular' kids ... the stooge who greenlit that article needs to have his job redistributed.
2003-10-03 09:09:40 PM  
thank God.
Cheerleaders don't need bad reps like that.
I did get cheer-rape hazed onto my cheerleading squad in high school, tho.
But nothing involving boys or booze. unfortunately.
2003-10-03 09:11:36 PM  
"The University of Scranton has concluded that the allegations contained in an anonymous letter received on Tuesday, September 30, are not true."

- WTF? How, exactly, did you do that?

"We have learned that students planned a gathering for Friday evening at which alcohol would be present. There is, however, no evidence that students were either pressured to attend the party or to drink."

- Since when do college students need "pressure" or any kind of persuasion to attend a party or drink?

"He said allegations concerning sexual activity 'are nothing more than rumor fueled by an anonymous letter.'"

- And he will continue to say this even when the college pron sites post the video footage.
2003-10-03 09:12:31 PM  
I went to "Da U" as she is affectionately known, and nobody hung out with a cheerleader when you could get some action from a beer pig at a late night.

* If I offended any of you ladies, you must have gone to Marywood.
2003-10-03 09:16:51 PM  
bottom to top:
yes yes yes yes no
yes yes yes yes yes no
yes (if drunk) yes yes yes yes

and Elle no matter how bad the photo: yes
2003-10-03 09:18:40 PM  
I would give any one of those cheerleaders jaw babies.
2003-10-03 09:20:22 PM  

"Lush greenery" and "not much sun" tend to go hand-in-hand. So I expect the lush greenery part to be accurate, at least, although I've never done more than drive through the place.

Whether it's the best hyphenated city is doubtful, since there are a few hyphenated cities in Western PA which manifestly must be better than Wilkes Barre. Eastern PA is generally a step down from Western PA, especially in high school football, despite the claims of the Easterners who think that having a few elite teams that breeze though an easy schedule and defeat a Western team worn out from having fought a battle every week in the state championship game somehow means that Eastern football is better.
2003-10-03 09:21:37 PM  

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