FARK.com: (6720852) Get down on the ground and do 100 pushups, you apple-knockin' jackwagons. Why? Because today is USMC day you maggots

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(Some Guy)		Get down on the ground and do 100 pushups, you apple-knockin' jackwagons. Why? Because today is USMC day you maggots (holidayinsights.com)		168
		More: PSA, United States Marine Corps, maggots, push-ups, Continental Congress, USMC day

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168 Comments (+0 »)

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thismomentinblackhistory

2011-11-10 11:39:26 AM

Good job subby. I was getting sick of all the hero tag hooahing.

basemetal

2011-11-10 11:49:46 AM

Thank you for your service, Marines!

2wolves

2011-11-10 11:55:58 AM

This got the green?

It's the Birthday of the Corps, not USMC day.

downstairs

2011-11-10 12:12:03 PM

2wolves: This got the green?

It's the Birthday of the Corps, not USMC day.

I think its commonly called "USMC day"

Thank you for your service, Marines! Ooh rah!

2wolves

2011-11-10 12:20:35 PM

downstairs:

I think its commonly called "USMC day"

I've never heard that. Ever.

Apparently only Holiday Insights on Google supports it. (new window)

Tell Me How My Blog Tastes

2011-11-10 12:25:26 PM

I'LL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND PUKE DOWN YOUR DEAD THROAT!!!!! YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG MARINE!!!!

//They're not Army, but as grunts I respect the hell outta them.

gopher321

2011-11-10 01:33:00 PM

Semper Fudge

xanadian

2011-11-10 01:43:24 PM

HOLY SHIAT HOW COULD I FORGET!? :(

Whiskey Dickens

2011-11-10 02:16:15 PM

Happy birthday to the greatest fighting force in the world!

Sticky Hands

2011-11-10 02:16:40 PM

crap, I totally spaced this! Guess I better run by the store on the way home for some last minute flowers, bubble bath and chocolates.

dabbletech

2011-11-10 02:17:35 PM

U Shaved Mom's Coont?

Sir Vanderhoot

2011-11-10 02:18:27 PM

Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to do a hundred pushups, but take it from this old gym rat, I've spent my entire adult life in the gym, and a program like this one can do more harm than good.

If you only train one part of your body (and that's all a single exercise like pushups is going to do for you), you're setting yourself up for injuries down the road. I've seen it a hundred times.

It's like putting a powerful engine in a stock Toyota Tercel. What will you accomplish? You'll blow out the drive train, the clutch, the transmission, etc., because those factory parts aren't designed to handle the power of an engine much more powerful than the factory installed engine.

Push-ups basically only train the chest muscles and to some extent, the triceps. What you really want to do is train your entire body, all the major muscle groups (chest, back, abdomen, legs, shoulders and arms) at the same time, over the course of a workout. And don't forget your cardiovascular work!

I'm proud of you guys wanting to do this. Three cheers! Falling in love with exercise, eating right, etc., is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. And you WILL fall in love with it if you can just force yourself to stick with it a year or two and experience the amazing progress you'll make.

But do it right, okay?

My advice, find a good gym, with qualified trainers who will design your programs for you (especially in the beginning, until you get the hang of it yourself) and guide you in your quest for physical fitness. Thirty to 45 minutes a day, three days a week, is all you'll ever need to do (I refuse to believe anyone is so busy that he or she cannot make time for that, especially considering how important it is).

And don't worry about being embarrassed or not being in shape the first time you walk into the gym. You have to start somewhere and almost every one of us were there ourselves at one time. So no one will say anything to you and very, very quickly you will progress way beyond that stage anyway.

Now get out there and do it! :-)

/wait, what website am I on again?

special20

2011-11-10 02:18:46 PM

Whiskey Dickens: [t2.gstatic.com image 284x178]

Happy birthday to the greatest fighting force in the world!

"Marche ou crève"

Savoir-Faire

2011-11-10 02:19:27 PM

I'm going to have to find some cake and beer later tonight.

Sumatra

2011-11-10 02:19:51 PM

God bless the Core!

maxx2112

2011-11-10 02:20:19 PM

Semper Fi, Devil Dogs!

/ get some!
// army slashies

NYCNative

2011-11-10 02:20:48 PM

I want to thank all Farkers who served in the core.

i.r.id10t

2011-11-10 02:21:20 PM

Being over 40, in bad shape, one of my big "I wonder what would've happend ifs..." is regarding signing up... was very very close to it... but decided to pass on it.

Grobbley

2011-11-10 02:21:31 PM

Thank you for continuing to support a corrupt government and killing brown people.

Combustion

2011-11-10 02:21:41 PM

Happy birthday!

--HM3

Coelacanth

2011-11-10 02:21:42 PM

Ooorah!

/Tried to join up, but too many health problems.

natazha

2011-11-10 02:22:14 PM

Back in the '70s I was in the Naval ROTC. Naturally, there were marines attached. The U. had ROTC units for all the services and we had a Tri-service party on the USMC birthday. I'm guessing because it was about half-way through the Fall term. Anyway, there was a three year run on the birthday cake. Something always happened to it. One year the cart lost a wheel. My senior year the Major and the Gunny decided to hand-carry the cake. The Major tripped over something and: Splat! Zero for Four.

Our Commander then rolled out the backup birthday cake he had ordered.

I can only admire the Marines and the job they have done for the country.

discgolfguru

2011-11-10 02:22:22 PM

"apple knocking"? Huh, that's a new one to me. I'll have to call someone an apple-knocker today.

Bomb Head Mohammed

2011-11-10 02:22:22 PM

thank you for your service marines, now go away.

study after study after study shows that the marines are an unnecessary expense that is kept around as a historical curiosity and because our most bootstrappy types are willing to fund welfare cases if they happen to wear uniforms. the jobs the marines do could easily be rolled into the other services with a huge cost savings, starting with marine fixed wing aviation.

so, thank you marines, and it's time to wrap this thing up.

of course, it will never happen because, well, republicans won't and democrats won't be able to for political reasons.

Two Hearted

2011-11-10 02:22:50 PM

Sir Vanderhoot: snip

/wait, what website am I on again?

I can't believe I read the whole thing.

groundhog

2011-11-10 02:23:02 PM

Happy Birthday USMC. And to all Marines, past, present and future, thank you.

kitsuneymg

2011-11-10 02:23:11 PM

Get down on the ground and do 100 pushups, you apple-knockin' jackwagons. Why? Because today is USMC day you maggots (holidayinsights.com)

lh4.googleusercontent.com

Jake Havechek

2011-11-10 02:23:17 PM

In a perfect world Marines should be sent in to kill everything that moves then pulled out. Occupation duty is for the Army.

MaliFinn

2011-11-10 02:24:15 PM

On April 15th before I biatch about paying my taxes I think of these gentlemen and consider it money well spent.

NINDroog

2011-11-10 02:24:18 PM

Semper Fi.

/0331 05-09

StanTheMan

2011-11-10 02:24:36 PM

Ha, in today's pussified, PC military, if a DI uttered the sentence in the headline he'd probably be court martialed.

The approved version:

"Ooh-Kaayyy thweeties, letth do thum ladies pushups, knees bent of course, and leth try not to perthpire too much, or our fabulous unis might get thoiled with perthperation! You go girl!"

Sin_City_Superhero

2011-11-10 02:26:14 PM

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy farking walrus-looking piece of shiat! Get the fark off of my obstacle! Get the fark down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

________________________________________________________________

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few Marines! God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?

________________________________________________________________

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any farking effort to get to the top of the farking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

________________________________________________________________

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
[tries to stop smiling]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well, any farking time, sweetheart!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I'm trying, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-farking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fark you! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I can't help it, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshiat! Get on your knees scumbag!
[Pyle drops down to his knees]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Now choke yourself.
[Pyle wraps his own hands around his throat]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Goddamn it, with MY hand, numb-nuts!
[Pyle reaches for Hartman's hand]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Don't pull my farking hand over there! I said choke yourself; now lean forward and choke yourself!
[Pyle does so]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you through grinning?
Private Gomer Pyle: [gagging] Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshiat, I can't hear you!
Private Gomer Pyle: [louder] Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshiat, I STILL can't hear you! Sound off like you've got a pair!
Private Gomer Pyle: SIR, YES, SIR!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That's enough! Get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shiatting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fark you up!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir

Whiskey Dickens

2011-11-10 02:26:19 PM

Sir Vanderhoot: Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to do a hundred pushups, but take it from this old gym rat, I've spent my entire adult life in the gym, and JEROMYGOD I TYPE A LOT OF WORDS ckly you will progress way beyond that stage anyway.
Now get out there and do it! :-)
/wait, what website am I on again?

CSB

/Riot
//Parties

buckeyebrain

2011-11-10 02:26:30 PM

Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle farks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES!

Foreground My Ass

2011-11-10 02:29:24 PM

/Semper Fi you old dogs...

groundhog

2011-11-10 02:31:28 PM

NYCNative: It's corps, not core dummy. And not corpse either, Barry, you moron.

jackmalice

2011-11-10 02:31:50 PM

Do you know that you can sign the Marine Corps Hymn to the tune of "Oh My Darling, Clementine?"

Misconduc

2011-11-10 02:34:33 PM

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ycvENBGzLCw/Tjv-BX19-FI/AAAAAAAAA2A/svpIf3No aag/s1600/9-Jelly-Donuts.jpg

Zafler

2011-11-10 02:34:41 PM

groundhog: NYCNative: It's corps, not core dummy. And not corpse either, Barry, you moron.

Account created: 2001-09-17 16:03:13

How the fark have you been around so long and not know that meme? Wife-like typing detected? Good thing it wasn't Naval aviators day, we'd be seeing jokes about people FLYing for the NAVY.

Misconduc

2011-11-10 02:35:40 PM

FLYnavy gets a round of applaud.

justanotherfarkinfarker

2011-11-10 02:41:59 PM

It's core. I should know, I served on the HMS Spring Break, 5th beer bong regiment. There was a beach landing in Cabo that still brings a tear to my eye when I think about it.

/got lost on the way to the service, joined the college
//Early vets day thank you to those who did serve

MrInstigator

2011-11-10 02:45:38 PM

Happy Birthday Marines.

Semper Fark

/E4/0656/2001-2005

Kit Fister

2011-11-10 02:47:20 PM

Semper Fi, marines.

/Know what the Marines call the Navy? TAXI!
//You know what everyone else calls the Marines? The Navy's Men's Department

zabbers

2011-11-10 02:47:42 PM

last night i posted "Happy Bday Marine Core Soldiers"
when i get home from work i'll see how many bites there are!
/no facebook at work
//no smartphone, flip-phones por vida, ese

CPT.Goodlaw

2011-11-10 02:48:25 PM

Dear USMC,

Happy Birthday.

Love,

Your older brother, the United States Army.

Ctrl-Alt-Del

2011-11-10 02:49:14 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: It's core. I should know, I served on the HMS Spring Break, 5th beer bong regiment. There was a beach landing in Cabo that still brings a tear to my eye when I think about it.

/got lost on the way to the service, joined the college
//Early vets day thank you to those who did serve

I'm sure i speak for all of the other core soldiers when i give you a hearty Semper Fib!

dothemath

2011-11-10 02:52:27 PM

Not a Marine but I can do 70.

***Dad is a Marine and Vietnam Vet***

steamingpile

2011-11-10 02:52:44 PM

I seriously doubt most could do 100 pushups, it may be in the 10% range and Im talking real push ups, not the girl ones which are really just bending down.

MarkMartinFan

2011-11-10 02:58:09 PM

2wolves: downstairs:

I think its commonly called "USMC day"

I've never heard that. Ever.

Apparently only Holiday Insights on Google supports it. (new window)

All I know is that I got the day off with pay....

/down side is I have to take a vacation day after Thanksgiving....

One Bad Apple

2011-11-10 02:58:28 PM

Happy B-day Uncle Sam's Misguided Children and thank you for protecting me from all those scary lava monsters that hate my freedom

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