FTFA "No, really. Your CV really, really stinks.

Who the fark refers to a resume as a 'CV' outside of academia?

/still has OS/2 listed on his resume from 1990
//hasn't prevented me from getting work

Dominic Connor outsources all his articles to a contractor in Mumbai.

bravian: FTFA "No, really. Your CV really, really stinks.

Who the fark refers to a resume as a 'CV' outside of academia?

/still has OS/2 listed on his resume from 1990
//hasn't prevented me from getting work

CV in England is different from CV in USA/Canada.

To sum up:
Writer: "Why is this shiat on your CV or it's formatted in this hideous manner? My automated CV slurping system chokes on these WHAAA WHAA."


That useless bit of fluff is on the CV because people, exactly like you, have at some point requested it. In fact, every time I take it OFF the CV I get asked what religion I am when you call. It's blue on black because that's what the "CV writers" your firm recommended to me did to it, go talk to them you employ them FFS.
Why is my CV "overly long"? Because when I hack off the previous experience to make it a more manageable document, people like you whine at me on the phone that I'm not showing enough experience.

You farking recruiters have demanded CV's contain everything and the kitchen sink, stop whining that I have sent you the kitchen sink... with my CV taped to it.

/CV isn't blue on black
//Might have deployed "Hello Kitty CV" for positions I didn't want.

nunoyo: CV in England is different from CV in USA/Canada.

Really? After all those times flying over the pond for business I never noticed that.

/the more you know

bravian: FTFA "No, really. Your CV really, really stinks.

Who the fark refers to a resume as a 'CV' outside of academia?

/still has OS/2 listed on his resume from 1990
//hasn't prevented me from getting work

Nobody does.
A CV is different to a résumé - it's much more in depth.
In the UK and EU, CVs are more common; In the States and Canada, they're only really used in Medical and Academic fields.

bravian: nunoyo: CV in England is different from CV in USA/Canada.

Really? After all those times flying over the pond for business I never noticed that.

/the more you know

Yep. From wiki (I know, but it's easy, and there are more sources if you want them):

In the United Kingdom, a CV is short (usually a maximum of 2 sides of A4 paper), and therefore contains only a summary of the job seeker's employment history, qualifications and some personal information. It is often updated to change the emphasis of the information according to the particular position for which the job seeker is applying.[3] Many CVs contain keywords that potential employers might pick up on and displays the content in the most flattering manner brushing over information like poor grades.[3] A CV can also be extended to include an extra page for the job-seeker's publications if these are important for the job.
In the United States and Canada, a CV is used in academic circles and medical careers as a "replacement" for a résumé and is far more comprehensive; the term résumé is used for most recruitment campaigns. A CV elaborates on education to a greater degree than a résumé and is expected to include a comprehensive listing of professional history including every term of employment, academic credential, publication, contribution or significant achievement. In certain professions, it may even include samples of the person's work and may run to many pages. Many executives and professionals choose to use short CVs that highlight the foci of their lives and not necessarily their employment or education.

Link (new window)

sarah_t_s:
That useless bit of fluff is on the CV because people, exactly like you, have at some point requested it. In fact, every time I take it OFF the CV I get asked what religion I am when you call. It's blue on black because that's what the "CV writers" your firm recommended to me did to it, go talk to them you employ them FFS.
Why is my CV "overly long"? Because when I hack off the previous experience to make it a more manageable document, people like you whine at me on the phone that I'm not showing enough experience.


What does your religion have to do with doing a job? Yikes. I'm glad they're not allowed to ask that here, as I wouldn't tell them.

Maybe resumes are used a little differently across the pond, but here at least, they're not supposed to be a biography, but a one page summary of what you can do and have experienced and why you stand out and should get an interview. Having had to read resumes in the past, I can feel this guy's pain.

FTFA: Over the next few years you are asking to be paid more than the cost of a Ferrari and the desk space, computer kit and coffee you use over that time means you cost at least twice what you earn.

So I take it this guy has a huge desk, a super computer, and coffee delivered by Juan Valdez.

Gordon Ramsay's Datacenter Nightmares

ReverendJasen:
What does your religion have to do with doing a job? Yikes. I'm glad they're not allowed to ask that here, as I wouldn't tell them.

Honestly? I've no idea, yet I have repeatedly had people on the telephone asking me that question. So I stuck it on my C.V. to stop people asking. Same for nationality (Whilst I don't have a regional accent it's quite clear I'm a brit on the phone).

ReverendJasen: resumes are used a little differently across the pond, but here at least, they're not supposed to be a biography, but a one page summary of what you can do and have experienced and why you stand out and should get an interview. Having had to read resumes in the past, I can feel this guy's pain.

A resume is generally speaking a single A4 sheet of paper that gives a breif overview of your career & skills. A CV is supposed to be a longer and more complete document covering education, career history along with bullet points about the position. I keep a copy of both and universally the first question I get asked when I send a resume is: Do you actually a CV I can read, because this is useless to me?

The only conclusion I can draw from TFA is that the author is either lazy or incompetent. This reads like a waiter's blog entries with titles like "Why people should tip at least 25%" and Would it kill you to order an appetizer or dessert once in a while?"

Reading a resume is fine art, but one that can be learned. I can scan a resume in seconds and determine if the candidate has the skills or not, and I don't need to pussy out when there's a formatting bobble or spelling/grammar mistake. I also realize that a person's favorite subject is himself, and he's going to add stuff in there that he's happy about telling people. His alma mater's fight song might get in there, or the name of his first parrot, or the title of an article he wrote for some journal about feline urinalysis. It doesn't matter. I can flip through those paragraphs like they were pictures from a co-worker's tropical vacation.

If a recruiter doesn't have the ability to eliminate noise with a single glance and zero in on the stuff that matters, then he needs to find another job.

It might not be inability to read a resume. Sometimes recruiters are lazy. (Gasp! Really?) They think that because there are a LOT of responses, that relieves them of the responsibility of screening them. Well too bad. Sometimes you have to suck it up and start reading resumes. And if you can't whip through a couple hundred of them a reasonable timeframe, then see the line above.

Worse, he seems to think it's acceptable for a recruiter or HR professional to not have an understanding of the core skills that his company is attempting to hire. Sounds to me like a recipe for a bad hire. Companies who hire or select their candidate pool based on buzzwords and keyword matches deserve what they get.

I am constantly amazed at recruiters who have no qualms about shotgunning emails to every Tom, Dick and Harry who matches "unix" on their keyword search but then whine and moan when candidates shotgun THEM because their job req's keywords contain "unix." They can't have it both ways. They need to either limit their "are you interested?" emails to people whose resume's they've actually read and think are suitable or shut up when they get dogpiled by thousands of candidates who are just as indiscriminate as they are.

If a recruiter can't be bothered to figure out if a candidate is suitable for his company or is incapable/unwilling to acquire to skills to determine if that is the case, then the company is probably not worth working for. That's a hard lesson to learn, especially when the economy is this bad. But unless you are actually starving or about to lose the house, the RIGHT NOW job will end up costing you more in the long run than waiting for the RIGHT job.

TFA: You could have used those lines for a buzzword that might have got you an interview.

If the hints of personality retardation leeching out of your vitriolic drivel didn't offer enough reason to skip you as an employer, then this sentence alone should effectively drive away anyone with any level of intelligence and/or self-respect. Good luck getting that Ferrari to write code for you, jackass.

English recruiters are weak. They usually smell like alcohol-puke and BO, like most English people.

Some kid recruiter called me, asked what versions of Unix I knew. I said HPUX, Solaris, SCO and Linux. He said sorry, they were looking for someone with AIX.

As a typist, I've typed on Royal, Brother, IBM and Corona machines. But perhaps the client wants someone with experience on an Olivetti.

Maybe AIX is *vastly* different than any other version of Unix. Who cares. I'm just glad I don't have to work in farking London.

patcarew:
Maybe AIX is *vastly* different than any other version of Unix. Who cares. I'm just glad I don't have to work in farking London.

a few oddities, it often dumps you at ksh rather than the more familiar bash, so that can catch people out but no, it's not vastly different.

And I've had that exact same conversation with a recruiter.

sarah_t_s:


And I've had that exact same conversation with a recruiter.

Probably the same guy trying to fill the same posting, 12 years later, LOL.

Yo, England! I wish you all the best. Good luck with that.