FARK.com: (6720277) 14 'luxury' sex toys for the extremely rich and creepy. Come for the gold plated prostate massager, stay for the silver dog masks

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		14 'luxury' sex toys for the extremely rich and creepy. Come for the gold plated prostate massager, stay for the silver dog masks (cracked.com)		108
		More: Plug

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21982 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Nov 2011 at 8:51 AM | Favorite | share:

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108 Comments (+0 »)

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Cythraul

2011-11-10 08:06:36 AM

I don't know what's worse, the extravagant luxury spending on such generally self-indulgent items, or the fact that they're ruining perfectly kinky sexual pass-times by gold plating the raunchy, gritty, naughtiness away.

Ennuipoet

2011-11-10 08:14:26 AM

Please, these are for the nouveau riche, Old Money has a stable if imported sex slaves to pleasure them on demand!

PacManDreaming

2011-11-10 08:17:43 AM

FTA: "Thrill Hammer" sounds like the name of a high school band, but it's actually a "Teledildonic Machine" that honestly looks like a penis missile hidden inside a postmodern coffee table."

Holy crap! The comparing of Don King, a troll doll and a that tickling thing was funny enough, but I almost passed out laughing at this.

Rev. Skarekroe

2011-11-10 08:26:01 AM

And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

Grables'Daughter

2011-11-10 08:43:16 AM

/adds the gold handcuffs to wishlist

topcon

2011-11-10 08:54:04 AM

Someone should tell them that's just a gold plated door handle.

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion

2011-11-10 08:55:11 AM

Cythraul: I don't know what's worse, the extravagant luxury spending on such generally self-indulgent items

Wait, people are mad that rich people save money and then they're mad when rich people spend it? Make up your mind.

haywatchthis

2011-11-10 08:56:31 AM

why do i need a masturbation mirror

TheSneakerWhore

2011-11-10 09:02:36 AM

"Teledildonic Machine"

Heh.

Grables'Daughter

2011-11-10 09:04:59 AM

topcon: Someone should tell them that's just a gold plated door handle.

OR, someone should tell them just to use a door handle.

/just sayin'
//virgule virgule

Another Government Employee

2011-11-10 09:05:54 AM

The name is Plug. Butt Plug. At your service.

SkylineRecords

2011-11-10 09:08:26 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

Better hope it doesn't break off. Would probably turn your poop black for months.

jagec

2011-11-10 09:09:38 AM

That's one of the better Cracked articles in a while.

snocone

2011-11-10 09:11:04 AM

This is Fark.
It must be a red sharpie.

machodonkeywrestler

2011-11-10 09:12:57 AM

The key to getting a Cracked link approved is to submit it 1 day lat, I guess.

machodonkeywrestler

2011-11-10 09:13:35 AM

The key to getting a Cracked link approved is to submit it 1 day late, I guess.

Grables'Daughter

2011-11-10 09:14:18 AM

machodonkeywrestler: The key to getting a Cracked link approved is to submit it 1 day lat, I guess.

I figured there was some sort of a partnership thing going on.

Like I am guessing with the TruTV links.

bemis23

2011-11-10 09:17:23 AM

"Come for the gold plated prostate massager",

"stay for the silver dog masks"

What you did there subby....I see it.

/+1

IrateShadow

2011-11-10 09:17:27 AM

If you can afford to use $28 condoms, you cna probably afford a mistress that won't get pregnant.

HotIgneous Intruder

2011-11-10 09:23:58 AM

These items enjoy their largest popularity among the residents of the metro Washington, D.C. area.

/Perverse culture of wealthy mixed with perversion is perverse.
//Did my time in the slums of suburban Washington.
///Won't go back there. evar.

BrainyBear

2011-11-10 09:24:22 AM

Nice use of the PLUG tag, Subby.

rrtt22

2011-11-10 09:26:08 AM

good writing

Grables'Daughter

2011-11-10 09:27:06 AM

BrainyBear: Nice use of the PLUG tag, Subby.

I didn't even notice that.

Awesome.

SweetSaws

2011-11-10 09:30:19 AM

Toys? Eww, I prefer my hand, or the hand of a dead hooker

DrBenway

2011-11-10 09:30:20 AM

Cythraul: I don't know what's worse, the extravagant luxury spending on such generally self-indulgent items, or the fact that they're ruining perfectly kinky sexual pass-times by gold plating the raunchy, gritty, naughtiness away.

Decadence -- look it up.

HailRobonia

2011-11-10 09:31:21 AM

Another Pretentious Nickname

2011-11-10 09:31:47 AM

My butt plug is stainless steel.

I am the 99%.

dr_iacovone

2011-11-10 09:37:35 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

I hate people like you who steal from work. It takes away from my paycheck.
Please have the decency to return the item when you are done.

JRoo

2011-11-10 09:40:43 AM

Another Pretentious Nickname: My butt plug is stainless steel.

I am the 99%.

Luxury.

I have to use a broken stick with bark still on it.

More_Like_A_Stain

2011-11-10 09:42:23 AM

dr_iacovone: Rev. Skarekroe: And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

I hate people like you who steal from work. It takes away from my paycheck.
Please have the decency to return the item when you are done.

Already returned. Unwashed. Hope you're not a pen chewer.

trucktrash

2011-11-10 09:44:59 AM

"Mommy's playing Sonic with Daddy again"

minoridiot

2011-11-10 09:46:18 AM

TheSneakerWhore: "Teledildonic Machine"

Heh.

I had to resist the temptation to Google that at work.

fightingnewfoundlander

2011-11-10 09:50:24 AM

You really know how to work that plug, subby.

dr_iacovone

2011-11-10 09:52:13 AM

More_Like_A_Stain: dr_iacovone: Rev. Skarekroe: And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

I hate people like you who steal from work. It takes away from my paycheck.
Please have the decency to return the item when you are done.

Already returned. Unwashed. Hope you're not a pen chewer.

Was it the brown or red one? If it's the blue one, you might have some serious issues and I suggest seeing a doctor.

Grables'Daughter

2011-11-10 09:56:44 AM

dr_iacovone: More_Like_A_Stain: dr_iacovone: Rev. Skarekroe: And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

I hate people like you who steal from work. It takes away from my paycheck.
Please have the decency to return the item when you are done.

Already returned. Unwashed. Hope you're not a pen chewer.

Was it the brown or red one? If it's the blue one, you might have some serious issues and I suggest seeing a doctor.

I think it was red when he took it, brown when he put it back.

phrenicmonkey

2011-11-10 09:57:03 AM

Boss: "You're reading about sex toys on Cracked? Oh, that classic statue has her naughty bits blurred...carry on."

mgary

2011-11-10 09:57:38 AM

Another Pretentious Nickname: My butt plug is stainless steel.

I am the 99%.

Mine is glass. Transparency is important.

/Honest, I'm not hiding anything from you
//Well, except up my ass.

JRoo

2011-11-10 09:58:23 AM

Oil can! Oil can!

HailRobonia

2011-11-10 09:59:06 AM

phrenicmonkey: Boss: "You're reading about sex toys on Cracked? Oh, that classic statue has her naughty bits blurred...carry on."
[img526.imageshack.us image 211x320]

I think it is a joke. Just like my naughty bits.

starlost

2011-11-10 10:00:45 AM

the thrill hammer- i can't remember where i saw that floor jack but it is a less than $50 piece of crap from ch!na dressed up with fake i don't know what you would call those silver things on the side.

Gleeman

2011-11-10 10:00:53 AM

Grables'Daughter: /adds the gold handcuffs to wishlist

i.imgur.com

/Plug?
//nicely done, Subby!

Kit Fister

2011-11-10 10:01:17 AM

Grables'Daughter: topcon: Someone should tell them that's just a gold plated door handle.

OR, someone should tell them just to use a door handle.

/just sayin'
//virgule virgule

So what are YOU doing saturday?

UNC_Samurai

2011-11-10 10:02:18 AM

haywatchthis: why do i need a masturbation mirror

I don't see where you're coming from with this statement.

sotua

2011-11-10 10:02:50 AM

"platinum dildo with encrusted diamonds"? After the first use, you betcha!

Grables'Daughter

2011-11-10 10:05:14 AM

Kit Fister: Grables'Daughter: topcon: Someone should tell them that's just a gold plated door handle.

OR, someone should tell them just to use a door handle.

/just sayin'
//virgule virgule

So what are YOU doing saturday?

It depends if the gold handcuffs arrive by then.

Irving Maimway

2011-11-10 10:05:39 AM

Very familiar with the Thrill Hammer

Crabs_Can_Polevault

2011-11-10 10:07:55 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: And here I am, massaging my prostate with a Sharpie I stole from work!

Note: You should really not sniff it when you're done.

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf

2011-11-10 10:09:28 AM

#2

Damn furries

stonelotus

2011-11-10 10:11:13 AM

came for the gold plated coke straw. left disappointed.

PacManDreaming

2011-11-10 10:12:50 AM

stonelotus: came for the gold plated coke straw. left disappointed.

Coke straws are sex toys in your world? Remind me not to go anywhere near FL.

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