Or you can strain used Folger's grounds through a dirty sweatsock into the toilet and drink it with a straw.

That's why I go to Cartel Coffee Lab in Tempe. They take the time to make a good cup.

We have a Kona roast my office uses. They typically put a full cup of grounds in the filter to make a pot (which is a typical 12 cup pot).

So that's a quarter cup more grounds then necessary (IMHO).

They won't even consider changing to a strong roast and using less coffee, because last time they tried to find a coffee, all hell broke loose, and they settled on the Kona.

That was 10 years ago

Perfect cup for me: Insert K Cup, press brew, skip the rest of the bullshiat

My wife swithced us to a fair trade variety called Love Buzz. It is half french roast for flavor and half light roast for caffeine. after a few cups I can move through time.

/since a switch to a 16oz mug from an 8 I've cut the number of cups per day in half.

Just gimme a goddamn cuppa coffee will ya?

People drink coffee for taste? I thought they drank it because it was the only way to survive hour long powerpoint meetings in dark rooms.

Open bag of HEB Cafe Ole' blend. Place appropriate amount in coffee maker. Add water. Wait five minutes. Drink.

Alternatively:

Pour coffee out of machines at work into mug.

There you go.

FTA:

"If the shot comes out very, very slow, that means the grind is too coarse," says barista Manni Girn of Steel Espresso. "It's also over-exposing the coffee beans, giving a husky, burnt tang.


False. If the coffee comes out too slow, the grind is too FINE. This barista is an idiot.

Step 1: Grind yourself some beans coarse
Step 2: Put appropriate/desired amount into bottom of french press
Step 3: Pour appropriate/desired amount of water just below boilng point over grounds
Step 4: Steep for about five minutes, plunge and pour
Step 5: Don't feel the need to leave home for good coffee

Expobar Brewtus, Mazzer Mini, Cuvee Meritage, PID @ 199f at naked portafilter.
come at me Bro. U got nothing.

I was kind of hoping to admire some high-brow obscenities.

May I offer: βάλλε εἶς κόρακας. "May your remains not be respectfully interred", in Ancient Greek.

Or, vos confutute! "Go F' yourselves", in Latin.

meat0918: We have a Kona roast my office uses. They typically put a full cup of grounds in the filter to make a pot (which is a typical 12 cup pot).
So that's a quarter cup more grounds then necessary (IMHO).
They won't even consider changing to a strong roast and using less coffee, because last time they tried to find a coffee, all hell broke loose, and they settled on the Kona.
That was 10 years ago

Possibly you do use Kona at the office, but probably not. If there is 10% Kona in the mix then the word Kona can be plastered all over the package. I realize I am being a bit persnickety. Even if it's a blend it may still be fine coffee of coarse.
"100% Kona Coffee" (with those words) is rather expensive. This goes for many single orchard coffees.

You can follow all those steps and still end up with a crappy cup. You can't explain that, "coffee scientists!"

This coffee maker produces steam that condenses as it passes through the grounds.
Great coffee but no bottom warming plate.

Sunday morning:

A nice hot cup of Peet's French Roast from the Black & Decker coffeemaker, then some bong hits and The Sopranos on A&E.

Mose: Step 1: Grind yourself some beans coarse
Step 2: Put appropriate/desired amount into bottom of french press
Step 3: Pour appropriate/desired amount of water just below boilng point over grounds
Step 4: Steep for about five minutes, plunge and pour
Step 5: Don't feel the need to leave home for good coffee

Step 6: Clean up the coffee grind mess that is now all over your counter and in your sink

impaler: poe_zlaw: Expobar Brewtus, Mazzer Mini, Cuvee Meritage, PID @ 199f at naked portafilter.
come at me Bro. U got nothing.

199f? That's pretty low.

[growlersoftware.com image 640x426]

Is that LED temp read-out your own doing?

Ablejack: meat0918: We have a Kona roast my office uses. They typically put a full cup of grounds in the filter to make a pot (which is a typical 12 cup pot).
So that's a quarter cup more grounds then necessary (IMHO).
They won't even consider changing to a strong roast and using less coffee, because last time they tried to find a coffee, all hell broke loose, and they settled on the Kona.
That was 10 years ago

Possibly you do use Kona at the office, but probably not. If there is 10% Kona in the mix then the word Kona can be plastered all over the package. I realize I am being a bit persnickety. Even if it's a blend it may still be fine coffee of coarse.
"100% Kona Coffee" (with those words) is rather expensive. This goes for many single orchard coffees.

Whoops, I forget the word "blend". Yeah, it's not 100%.

It's not too bad, especially since the person that made coffee by filling the damn filter so full that you got grounds in your coffee has been gone for a while. Now they just fill up the 1 cup measure and dump it in.

I was a barista once. A terrible barista mind you. (I'm too bitter for customer service)

But for every customer that remotely knew anything about what they were ordering, there were 100 or so who did not have the slightest idea. To many, each item on the menu was like some kind of magic recipe. They did not realize that behind all of these mystical Italian words is just the simple question of how much steamed milk do you want in your espresso.

The worst thing was Starbucks mislabels everything. We would constantly get people coming in and ordering a Caramel Macchiato. Then I would make a caramel macchiato and hand it to them and they would look at me like "what the hell is this?" Then I would have to explain to them that what they really wanted was a Caramel Latte with a dash of vanilla in it. A few times I tried skipping this scenario and telling the customer what they actually wanted right when they ordered the caramel macchiato, but this never went well.

Insert quarters, press "Black" button, take scalding hot paper cup out of dispenser, blow briefly to "cool", sip, burn mouth on liquid that is one degree below boiling, swear, repeat.

My process:

1) Buy case of Folger's Breakfast Blend on sale at Big Lots.
2) Buy cheapest filters available.
3) Scoop coffee into old, stained Mr. Coffee ex-wife gave me in 2001.
4) Fill with tap water. Ignore floating debris.
5) Press button.
6) Enjoy mediocre coffee in "World's Greatest Dad" mug.

I get gas station coffee on the way to work sometimes. The stuff they serve at the office tastes like ground-up bear shiat.

Qatmandu: Just gimme a goddamn cuppa coffee will ya?

Stumble in eyes half open. "Coffee. Black. Large." Stumble out.

headline reads like some sort of porno script.

iamrex: Well, whatever works for you I guess.

I, personally, just like it strong and black.

Yeah.. .but what about your coffee?

Moka pots.

Seriously.

impaler: poe_zlaw: Expobar Brewtus, Mazzer Mini, Cuvee Meritage, PID @ 199f at naked portafilter.
come at me Bro. U got nothing.

199f? That's pretty low.

[growlersoftware.com image 640x426]

You're forgetting the temperature offset between the boiler probe and the actual brew temp. Back when I suffered with my Silvia w/ PID, I think 220 was more like 202 at the shower screen.

/La Spaziale Vivaldi II, Baratza Vario.

impaler: Hardy-r-r: Is that LED temp read-out your own doing?

It's the siliva pid. I did have to install it myself.

Thanks. Think I'll get one.

ElVee: My process:

1) Buy case of Folger's Breakfast Blend on sale at Big Lots.
2) Buy cheapest filters available.
3) Scoop coffee into old, stained Mr. Coffee ex-wife gave me in 2001.
4) Fill with tap water. Ignore floating debris.
5) Press button.
6) Enjoy mediocre coffee in "World's Greatest Dad" mug.

I get gas station coffee on the way to work sometimes. The stuff they serve at the office tastes like ground-up bear shiat.

I bought my coffee maker for $4 at Goodwill. Unopened. They had a whole shipment of unopened ones. It has one button. On and off. It makes coffee. Good enough for me.

impaler: poe_zlaw: Expobar Brewtus, Mazzer Mini, Cuvee Meritage, PID @ 199f at naked portafilter.
come at me Bro. U got nothing.

199f? That's pretty low.

A doser on your coffee grinder? Philistine.

I usually just use an aeropress to make my thermos full of coffee for work. I do have a Gaggia Classic machine that I use when I feel like espresso but I usually prefer straight coffee.

Would it be too much to ask, Subby, for someone to actually make the Got Damb coffee right? Would it?

CruJones: ElVee: My process:

1) Buy case of Folger's Breakfast Blend on sale at Big Lots.
2) Buy cheapest filters available.
3) Scoop coffee into old, stained Mr. Coffee ex-wife gave me in 2001.
4) Fill with tap water. Ignore floating debris.
5) Press button.
6) Enjoy mediocre coffee in "World's Greatest Dad" mug.

I get gas station coffee on the way to work sometimes. The stuff they serve at the office tastes like ground-up bear shiat.

I bought my coffee maker for $4 at Goodwill. Unopened. They had a whole shipment of unopened ones. It has one button. On and off. It makes coffee. Good enough for me.

You working-class hero, you.

Would it be out of line to suggest a replacement article on how to give the perfect blowjob?

doubled99: Would it be out of line to suggest a replacement article on how to give the perfect blowjob?

flick beans locally, grind to appropriate firmness, warm up handle, rub hot handle, mount handle, suck off espresso immediately.

Also, the machine should be running at 9 atmospheres of pressure, the tamp should be about 40lbs of pressure and the espresso should take about 25 seconds to pull from the machine. If you are getting a cap, latte, or machiado, when the barista is steaming the milk, it should not make alot of noise. The foam creates a natural sound barrier, if you can hear the steaming and it is loud, that is called "screaming the milk" and that is a sign that your barrista is not doing it right and you will not get that rich creamy foam to top of your drink.

/barista for 6 years

StrangeQ: Mose: Step 1: Grind yourself some beans coarse
Step 2: Put appropriate/desired amount into bottom of french press
Step 3: Pour appropriate/desired amount of water just below boilng point over grounds
Step 4: Steep for about five minutes, plunge and pour
Step 5: Don't feel the need to leave home for good coffee

Step 6: Clean up the coffee grind mess that is now all over your counter and in your sink

I'm no expert, but I think you might be doing one of these steps wrong...

I just wash my grinds down the sink.

Just give me a can of Don Francisco Colombian coffee, a coffee maker, sugar, half n half, and I'm set.

Jack Daniels coffee isn't bad either.