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(Sun Sentinel) Florida Protip: If you jump into a river in hopes of avoiding being caught by the cops, it helps if you know how to swim   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 20
More: Florida, Man Jumping, New River, Broward Sheriff's Office, rivers  
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1801 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2011 at 7:20 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



20 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
Ed Finnerty [TotalFark]
2011-11-09 07:10:41 PM
The suspect was heard screaming, "This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!"
 
stuhayes2010
2011-11-09 07:25:32 PM
He's black, he should of known blacks cant' swim.
 
poe_zlaw
2011-11-09 07:26:17 PM
"It's dangerous," Moschella said. For fleeing defendants, "It appears to be attractive just because it's near the courthouse and might be an easy escape."

So how many people make a run for it once they are at the courthouse?. I mean-- why go to court if you're just going to run away once you get there?
 
Hector Remarkable
2011-11-09 07:31:24 PM
Although sometimes a friendly sea-creature will rise up and give you a ride away.
Of course, the danger there is that the creature might swallow you, and you could spend days in the belly of the beast, just reading parchment by candle and pondering your fate.
 
Tergiversada
2011-11-09 07:31:37 PM
Ed Finnerty: I'm sure the suspect doesn't have a beautiful house. He lives in a van down by the river.
 
Creoena
2011-11-09 07:34:55 PM
stuhayes2010: He's black, he should of known blacks cant' swim.

This.
 
thesubliminalman
2011-11-09 07:39:12 PM
You can climb a mountain
You can swim the sea
You can jump into the river
But you'll never be free

or something like that, sorta kinda
 
davidphogan
2011-11-09 07:39:23 PM
In January 2010, two homeless men were playing a drinking game called "when push comes to shove," and one knocked the other into the water, where he drowned.

How does that game work?
 
Mr. Potatoass
2011-11-09 07:41:17 PM
♫ Come on in make a little bit of magic with me
Come on in begin the beguine together
Honey
Sugar
Baby
Come on in I'm gonna teach you how to swim
Right up
The river of love
The river of love ♫
 
Kumana Wanalaia
2011-11-09 07:41:20 PM
it helps if you know how to swim

"He was able to swim across the river, but then couldn't get out and was showing signs of distress," Mandell said.

fail
 
mdeesnuts
2011-11-09 07:53:38 PM
I have bathed in snowmelt rivers during extended camping trips.

/learned something new on that first trip
//nutsack forced one of my balls into my body cavity
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2011-11-09 07:55:26 PM
mdeesnuts: I have bathed in snowmelt rivers during extended camping trips.

/learned something new on that first trip
//nutsack forced one of my balls into my body cavity

That's why it's called "snowmelt" and not "bathwater" you know.
 
poe_zlaw
2011-11-09 08:12:41 PM
"April 2010 saw a man disappear early one morning from a riverside nightclub. He was later found drowned. "

I bet it was bad ass for April when the year 2010 finally came around. I mean-- I would love to be living in the year Zlaw.
 
poe_zlaw
2011-11-09 08:16:32 PM
PS.. In the bottom of the page, there is a section called "recommended for you". If you dont why there is a Florida tag-- now you know.
 
Ed Finnerty [TotalFark]
2011-11-09 08:16:38 PM
Everyone can swim. Panic is the problem here.
 
miss diminutive
2011-11-09 08:35:57 PM
Ed Finnerty: Everyone can swim. Panic is the problem here.

Johnny Cementshoes disagrees with you.
 
sallyjuneabigailmay
2011-11-09 08:54:00 PM
img42.imageshack.us

Agrees, thinks it would probably be a good idea

/has kinda let herself go lately
 
Anderson's Pooper
2011-11-09 09:09:03 PM
Had a local case like this in April after 6 weeks of thaw/rain. They found him hung up on the dam a month later - 3 miles downstream. Another "Bath Salts" user so no major loss.
 
LOGINGOESHERE
2011-11-09 09:10:00 PM
Ed Finnerty: The suspect was heard screaming, "This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!"

This makes too much sense!
 
whatwasthat
2011-11-09 10:14:12 PM
I read that as "If you jump into a river of hopes. Avoid being caught by the cops..."

I wish I had a river of hopes.

/In the middle of the night
//I go walking in my sleep
///From the mountains of faith
////To the river so deep
 
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