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(The Hollywood Reporter)   The game show host from "Slumdog Millionaire" to play Indian Jack Bauer. OH MY GOODNESS, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF THE TIME   (hollywoodreporter.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, Slumdog Millionaire, Indian Jack Bauer, Anil Kapoor, Kiefer Sutherland, Indians, Kapoor, action series, Howard Gordon  
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1452 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Nov 2011 at 12:19 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2011-11-09 12:12:44 PM  
Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.
 
2011-11-09 12:16:28 PM  

dj_bigbird: Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.


Aaaaannnnnnnd, we're done here.

Kindly call me to confirm via telephonic conversation to accept your +1
 
2011-11-09 12:18:42 PM  
Wasn't Anil Kapoor ON a season of "24?"

Seems like he'd be the right guy for the job, then.
 
2011-11-09 12:20:39 PM  
Fail.

He was already on "24", Season 8
 
2011-11-09 12:26:23 PM  
TEN MILLION RUNNING OUT OF TIMES!
 
2011-11-09 12:27:44 PM  
My belly is too much swelling with Jack fruit Bauer.
 
2011-11-09 12:29:38 PM  
Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!
 
2011-11-09 12:32:24 PM  
Have you tried rebooting?
 
2011-11-09 12:35:04 PM  
Who wants to be a MEEELONAAAAIRE?
 
2011-11-09 12:35:40 PM  
Hello, this is ...Bob.
It will be interesting to see if he can curry a series.
 
2011-11-09 12:37:37 PM  

dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!


And HOW!

I actually read that headline out loud with an Indian accent for full effect. Then I giggled like crazy.
 
2011-11-09 12:38:05 PM  
Thank you, watch again!
 
2011-11-09 12:42:47 PM  
I just kind of zoned out into a daydream involving singing and dancing and colorful costumes.

/ChloooOOOoooOOOoooOOOOeeeeeeeee
 
2011-11-09 12:46:01 PM  

MaxxLarge: Wasn't Anil Kapoor ON a season of "24?"

Seems like he'd be the right guy for the job, then.


TrancePI: Fail.

He was already on "24", Season 8


You two should read the article. That's kind of how he got the job.
 
2011-11-09 12:49:22 PM  
www.visualphotos.com

My name is "Jack" and I am please to be commandeering this vehicle.
 
2011-11-09 12:49:44 PM  
I might actually watch this

/Most of the people in this thread: Hurr them foreigners sure do talk funny, he-yuck
 
2011-11-09 12:52:41 PM  

SlightlyManic: singing and dancing and colorful costumes


That would be an excellent way to fill in time so that the show takes the required 24 hours.

Much better than the requisite "You may think you've stopped the terrorist attack, Jack Bauer, but you have no idea how high up the conspiracy really goes--*shoot* *thud*"
 
2011-11-09 12:53:52 PM  

KelvinTheClown: You two should read the article. That's kind of how he got the job.


Well clearly, I already knew what it was about. So I'm sort of glad I didn't bother, now.
 
2011-11-09 12:57:14 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!

And HOW!

I actually read that headline out loud with an Indian accent for full effect. Then I giggled like crazy.


Did you know that India smells like poop?
 
2011-11-09 12:58:51 PM  

FloydA: My belly is too much swelling with Jack fruit Bauer.


That's what I clicked for.
 
2011-11-09 01:03:23 PM  
Thank you for calling CTU.

If this is an emergency, press 1.
For red herring plot contrivance, press 2.
If you are looking for Jack Bauer, stay on the line. Your wait time is... one hour.
 
2011-11-09 01:04:22 PM  
i305.photobucket.com
 
2011-11-09 01:05:17 PM  
I really hope they don't ruin each episode with a song and dance number. That's not Jack Bauer's world. Jack Bauer does not dance. Jack Bauer held dance down and shot it in the genitals.
 
2011-11-09 01:09:21 PM  

AcneVulgaris: ecmoRandomNumbers: dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!

And HOW!

I actually read that headline out loud with an Indian accent for full effect. Then I giggled like crazy.

Did you know that India smells like poop?


I thought that was Detroit and Cleveland?

In any case, I laugh at and make off-color jokes all the time, but the stereotype doesn't apply to Anil Kapoor. He's not some overseas tech support guy that speaks broken english, so making fun of him for it is kind of lame.

/I miss Outsourced. Laughing at differences is different than poking at them.
 
2011-11-09 01:11:05 PM  

dj_bigbird: Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.


That was amazing, in this regard.
 
2011-11-09 01:15:35 PM  

dustlesswalnut: /I miss Outsourced. Laughing at differences is different than poking at them.


That was a good show.
 
2011-11-09 01:18:21 PM  

clovis69: dustlesswalnut: /I miss Outsourced. Laughing at differences is different than poking at them.

That was a good show.


It's funny-- people I know that are racist thought the show was racist, while people I know that are not racist thought it was hilarious.

My wife was really upset when she learned it was cancelled; it was one of the three shows she ever watched. With Modern Family taking a nosedive into the ground this season, we're just down to Parks and Rec.
 
2011-11-09 01:19:11 PM  

dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!


Clean the friggin vindaloo outta yer panties kumar

Can't you curries take a joke?
 
2011-11-09 01:23:08 PM  

Calm Down You Spaz: dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!

Clean the friggin vindaloo outta yer panties kumar

Can't you curries take a joke?


I'm about as white as can be, and I can assure you that Fair and Lovely had nothing to do with it.
 
2011-11-09 01:29:00 PM  

Lsherm: I really hope they don't ruin save each episode with a song and dance number. That's not Jack Bauer's world. Jack Bauer does not dance. Jack Bauer held dance down and shot it in the genitals.


Jack Bauer's world is stupid and needs bangra dancing more than anything has ever needed another thing before.
 
2011-11-09 01:29:00 PM  
So, I guess Anil Kapoor talks like this? Oh, no he doesn't, but because he's Indian, we can assign him a stereotypical Indian sentence structure and it's somehow funny?

This is what racism is: when you take an individual, decide that his race is more significant than his personhood, and treat him accordingly.
 
2011-11-09 01:33:34 PM  
computer-gi...
 
2011-11-09 01:33:39 PM  

Christian Bale: So, I guess Anil Kapoor talks like this? Oh, no he doesn't, but because he's Indian, we can assign him a stereotypical Indian sentence structure and it's somehow funny?

This is what racism is: when you take an individual, decide that his race is more significant than his personhood, and treat him accordingly.


...oh GOOD for you...
 
2011-11-09 01:43:45 PM  

Christian Bale: So, I guess Anil Kapoor talks like this? Oh, no he doesn't, but because he's Indian, we can assign him a stereotypical Indian sentence structure and it's somehow funny?

This is what racism is: when you take an individual, decide that his race is more significant than his personhood, and treat him accordingly.


God, you're so cultured and awesome.
 
2011-11-09 01:43:55 PM  

Christian Bale: So, I guess Anil Kapoor talks like this? Oh, no he doesn't, but because he's Indian, we can assign him a stereotypical Indian sentence structure and it's somehow funny?

This is what racism is: when you take an individual, decide that his race is more significant than his personhood, and treat him accordingly.


1/10. I appreciated the overuse of rhetorical questions.
 
2011-11-09 02:17:36 PM  
Indian Jack Bauer, how would you defuse the bomb?

A: Cut the red wire B: Get the Bomb Disposal Unit
C: Cut the blue wire D: Make a big song and dance about it.
 
2011-11-09 02:19:38 PM  
23 of those hours are dancing.
 
2011-11-09 02:22:34 PM  

ah_look_at_all_the_lonely_people: Christian Bale: So, I guess Anil Kapoor talks like this? Oh, no he doesn't, but because he's Indian, we can assign him a stereotypical Indian sentence structure and it's somehow funny?

This is what racism is: when you take an individual, decide that his race is more significant than his personhood, and treat him accordingly.

...oh GOOD for you...


I LOL'd

/a racist LOL
 
2011-11-09 02:29:10 PM  

GungFu: A: Cut the red wire B: Get the Bomb Disposal Unit
C: Cut the blue wire D: Make a big song and dance about it.


D: has been covered before, with spectacularly fail-ish results! (new window)
 
2011-11-09 02:43:11 PM  
The difference between Jack Bauer and Indian Jack Bauer is that Indian Jack Bauer will actually get shiat done, while Jack Bauer consults his colleagues, will have about 50 meetings to discuss the QA testing, the UAT testing, and then the results of both tests and will ask you to end up doing the job anyway.
 
2011-11-09 02:44:26 PM  

dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!


Yes. They are funny.

/telling ethnic jokes is so uncouth
//but we laugh 'cuz they're based on truth
 
2011-11-09 02:46:26 PM  

TonnageVT: The difference between Jack Bauer and Indian Jack Bauer is that Indian Jack Bauer will actually get shiat done, while Jack Bauer consults his colleagues, will have about 50 meetings to discuss the QA testing, the UAT testing, and then the results of both tests and will ask you to end up doing the job anyway.


And Indian Jack Bauer will be phoning in his lines from a call center in Mumbai.
 
2011-11-09 02:51:07 PM  

GungFu: a call center in Mumbai.


Cost of living there's too high now for call centers.

Chennai and Hyderabad are the new Mumbai.
 
2011-11-09 02:51:34 PM  

ah_look_at_all_the_lonely_people: Christian Bale: So, I guess Anil Kapoor talks like this? Oh, no he doesn't, but because he's Indian, we can assign him a stereotypical Indian sentence structure and it's somehow funny?

This is what racism is: when you take an individual, decide that his race is more significant than his personhood, and treat him accordingly.

...oh GOOD for you...


What don't you farking understand?!?!?
 
2011-11-09 02:53:27 PM  
He needs a sidekick...

www.clch.org.uk

/it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken
 
2011-11-09 02:55:59 PM  

GungFu: And Indian Jack Bauer will be phoning in his lines from a call center in Mumbai.


We get it...He's Indian...He must certainly work at a call center.

/Would rather talk to someone in a call center in India than in the US, 'cause they can actually get shiat done.
 
2011-11-09 03:14:02 PM  
The downside is that the terrorists will be portrayed by redneck Americans, but everyone will be enthralled by the wife with sensual drawl who calls for her son, "Bobby Looooooooooooooke!"
 
2011-11-09 03:26:38 PM  

TonnageVT: GungFu: And Indian Jack Bauer will be phoning in his lines from a call center in Mumbai.

We get it...He's Indian...He must certainly work at a call center.

/Would rather talk to someone in a call center in India than in the US, 'cause they can actually get shiat done.


notsureifserious.jpg
 
2011-11-09 03:34:00 PM  

Tax Boy: SlightlyManic: singing and dancing and colorful costumes

That would be an excellent way to fill in time so that the show takes the required 24 hours.

Much better than the requisite "You may think you've stopped the terrorist attack, Jack Bauer, but you have no idea how high up the conspiracy really goes--*shoot* *thud*"


Why choose? I say the interrogation scenes would go better with elaborate choreography and sitar-laden background music. Especially if the inevitable confession is delivered in the form of a duet with a catchy chorus.

/And silken-clad dancers twirling hypnotically
//Hypnotically, I tells ya!
 
2011-11-09 03:50:43 PM  

bigmattress: Who wants to be a MEEELONAAAAIRE?


Came for this. Drove me nuts in the movie.
 
2011-11-09 04:30:31 PM  

Zombie Eater: He needs a sidekick...

[www.clch.org.uk image 320x467]

/it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken


Los Locos kick your ass.
 
2011-11-09 04:32:36 PM  

dj_bigbird: Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.


Please advice
 
2011-11-09 04:45:24 PM  

Grandemadaca: bigmattress: Who wants to be a MEEELONAAAAIRE?

Came for this. Drove me nuts in the movie.


Most Indians that learn English learn British English, which has different pronunciations than American English. (They still have Indian accents, but a lot of the difference you perceive is not their Indian accent but their British pronunciation.)
 
2011-11-09 04:49:39 PM  

Zombie Eater: He needs a sidekick...

[www.clch.org.uk image 320x467]

/it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken


OMG someone made a grown-up Wall-E!

SOOOOOO CUTE!

Oh, right, Apple Pixar stole Johnny 5, too.
 
2011-11-09 05:25:30 PM  
img269.imageshack.us
 
2011-11-09 05:28:18 PM  

dustlesswalnut: Grandemadaca: bigmattress: Who wants to be a MEEELONAAAAIRE?

Came for this. Drove me nuts in the movie.

Most Indians that learn English learn British English, which has different pronunciations than American English. (They still have Indian accents, but a lot of the difference you perceive is not their Indian accent but their British pronunciation.)


1957timecapsule.files.wordpress.com

/not relevant
 
2011-11-09 05:33:06 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: dustlesswalnut: Grandemadaca: bigmattress: Who wants to be a MEEELONAAAAIRE?

Came for this. Drove me nuts in the movie.

Most Indians that learn English learn British English, which has different pronunciations than American English. (They still have Indian accents, but a lot of the difference you perceive is not their Indian accent but their British pronunciation.)

[1957timecapsule.files.wordpress.com image 480x360]

/not relevant


This is Fark, surely you're used to it by now.
 
2011-11-09 06:02:36 PM  
If you survive please come again.
 
2011-11-09 08:51:25 PM  
Can't wait to see the choreography.

"We're running out of time.... let's dance!"
 
2011-11-09 08:53:48 PM  

dj_bigbird: Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.


Someone here has actually worked with Indians

/first time I saw the phrase I wondered what the fark I was reading
 
2011-11-09 10:42:24 PM  

dustlesswalnut: Grandemadaca: bigmattress: Who wants to be a MEEELONAAAAIRE?

Came for this. Drove me nuts in the movie.

Most Indians that learn English learn British English, which has different pronunciations than American English. (They still have Indian accents, but a lot of the difference you perceive is not their Indian accent but their British pronunciation.)



Bollox. No where in the UK does anyone pronounce 'millionaire' the way the guy did it in the film. It's their Indian accents.

Dee vay dey are learning dee ingalish is not from da British but but but from udda Indians, please.
 
2011-11-09 10:46:20 PM  
www.chakpak.com
 
2011-11-10 09:01:36 AM  

dj_bigbird: Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.


WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME TODAY MORNING
 
kab
2011-11-10 09:20:32 AM  

dustlesswalnut: Hahaha racist stereotypes are funny!


They certainly can be, yes.
 
2011-11-10 10:39:56 AM  

raygundan: dj_bigbird: Kindly do the needful and tell me where the bomb is.

WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME TODAY MORNING


PLEASE ADVICE?
 
2011-11-10 10:42:57 AM  
Loving the people in this thread who just discovered that comedy offends people.
 
2011-11-10 09:03:11 PM  
Hmm, they killed off Kapoor's character halfway through the last season. I guess this means a politician gets reincarnated as a counterterrorist agent?
 
2011-11-10 11:58:27 PM  
I met this guy in Heathrow once; my son and I were waiting for a flight to Manchester and he just walked in and sat down next to us. Chatted a little with him, he was quite nice. He looks remarkably young for his age (he has a daughter in her twenties) and has a remarkable baritone voice.
 
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