Now this is a heartwarming story.

So players quit playing hard after their big payday? NO WAY!!

see: Chris Johnson

I guess they clicked through that slideshow to #4

But but but but....I was told Belicheat could cure him of the gallopping Jamarcus disease! Was I lied to? Here on FARK!?!?!?

GimpyNip: Fark Sports: Yesterday's News. First!

They probably didn't like that the exact same headline was submitted 20 times and they where hoping that someone would at least submit something more creative. When that didn't happen, they just decided to greenlight the ESPN submission.

I read it as Three New England Patriots... I was hoping to see Tom Brady quoted as saying Albert is a douche

This is now the Ped State thread about Joe Paterno's resignation.

mikaloyd: But but but but....I was told Belicheat could cure him of the gallopping Jamarcus disease! Was I lied to? Here on FARK!?!?!?

I hoped he could.

I guess you can't fix fat and stupid.

Tell him to take OchoCinco with him, fer crissake.

PowerSlacker: This is now the Ped State thread about Joe Paterno's resignation.

Can you really call "yeah, I'm retiring at the end of the season" a resignation from someone who's 85?

degenerate-afro: PowerSlacker: This is now the Ped State thread about Joe Paterno's resignation.

Can you really call "yeah, I'm retiring at the end of the season" a resignation from someone who's 85?

There better be a thread later today with the headline "Penn State tells Joe Paterno to go be old somewhere else".

InOmnibusCaritas: PowerSlacker: This is now the Ped State thread about Joe Paterno's resignation.

No, it has been deemed that we don't get one of those.

Except for the ones that already exist, you mean.

PowerSlacker: This is now the Ped State thread about Joe Paterno's resignation.

I listened to the open of Jim Rome's show today. Hearing Joe address those idiots that were on his lawn last night, and him leading them in a "we are penn state" chant made me want to kick puppies.

And I really, really like puppies.

mikaloyd: But but but but....I was told Belicheat could cure him of the gallopping Jamarcus disease! Was I lied to? Here on FARK!?!?!?

Does Dan Snyder get his money back??

AdmirableSnackbar: InOmnibusCaritas: PowerSlacker: This is now the Ped State thread about Joe Paterno's resignation.

No, it has been deemed that we don't get one of those.

Except for the ones that already exist, you mean.

Unlike the modmins, I think Paterno's announcement to resign at the end of the season is worthy of its own thread.

Hey, hey, hey!

Belichick on Haynesworth: "Didn't work out." I presume he means Albert and the gym.

I still can't forget the Skip Bayless ravings how New England won the offseason with the Haynesworth and Ochocinco acquisitions.

Zero accountability in the gum-flapping profession. I would really enjoy if they would add a little stats pop-up when they went Camera 2 close-up on some of these guys, like they do when the batter steps up to the plate.

Skip Bayless
Season Average: .184
Bold Predictions: .070
Reiterations: 546
Cop-Outs: 1785
Favorite Exercise: Shake-Weight

PunchDrunkPanda: I still can't forget the Skip Bayless ravings how New England won the offseason with the Haynesworth and Ochocinco acquisitions.

Zero accountability in the gum-flapping profession. I would really enjoy if they would add a little stats pop-up when they went Camera 2 close-up on some of these guys, like they do when the batter steps up to the plate.

Skip Bayless
Season Average: .184
Bold Predictions: .070
Reiterations: 546
Cop-Outs: 1785
Favorite Exercise: Shake-Weight

Ha! Skip Bayless: The Paul Wolfowitz of sports punditry.

kronicfeld: You were told that with Belichick's track record with problem children like Randy Moss and Corey Dillon, and his "my way or the highway" attitude with the likes of Ty Law made it a reasonable acquisition. If any coach had a chance of coaxing a good performance out of Haynesworth, it was Belichick, and he would also not hesitate in the middle of the season to cut his fat ass if he underperformed.

There was a little of that sure, but more of the other.

PowerSlacker: Unlike the modmins, I think Paterno's announcement to resign at the end of the season is worthy of its own thread.

You know, there exists an Anti-FARK website for people who are upset with FARK. I could tell you what it is but the mere mention of the name used to mean getting the hammer. It may still.

PunchDrunkPanda: I still can't forget the Skip Bayless ravings how New England won the offseason with the Haynesworth and Ochocinco acquisitions.

Zero accountability in the gum-flapping profession. I would really enjoy if they would add a little stats pop-up when they went Camera 2 close-up on some of these guys, like they do when the batter steps up to the plate.

Skip Bayless
Season Average: .184
Bold Predictions: .070
Reiterations: 546
Cop-Outs: 1785
Favorite Exercise: Shake-Weight

Maybe not with all of their predictions (you'd be something like 0-97,365 your first hour on the air), but they should start tracking some of their predictions, like they do on MNF with picking the winners.

// Bayless would be the 1962 Mets of predicteratin'

I was hoping both McNabb and Haynesworth would flourish, just as more salt in the wounds of Redskin fans. Alas, neither has come to pass.

I'll just have to find solace in their current on-the-field trainwreck.

mikaloyd: PowerSlacker: Unlike the modmins, I think Paterno's announcement to resign at the end of the season is worthy of its own thread.

You know, there exists an Anti-FARK website for people who are upset with FARK. I could tell you what it is but the mere mention of the name used to mean getting the hammer. It may still.

I'm not anti-Fark in any way. Just surprised that the biggest sports story going right now is getting minimal coverage here.

PowerSlacker: mikaloyd: PowerSlacker: Unlike the modmins, I think Paterno's announcement to resign at the end of the season is worthy of its own thread.

You know, there exists an Anti-FARK website for people who are upset with FARK. I could tell you what it is but the mere mention of the name used to mean getting the hammer. It may still.

I'm not anti-Fark in any way. Just surprised that the biggest sports story going right now is getting minimal coverage here.

I don't think there needs to be a separate thread for every single update on the situation. Now, when the decision comes down from the Board of Trustees (hopefully later today) that will be worthy of a Fark thread. At this point we know Joe is gone at the end of the season. Later today it could be he is gone today or maybe after the game on Saturday (which I think would be the correct call).

fatalvenom: I guess you can't fix fat and stupid.

I know at least a dozen dead rappers who strongly disagree ...

PunchDrunkPanda: I still can't forget the Skip Bayless ravings how New England won the offseason with the Haynesworth and Ochocinco acquisitions.

Mike Lombardi is the worst.

Belichick brings in Haynesworth, Ocho Cinco and trades back 15 times in the draft to pick up a an always injured cornerback (who then gets injured as a rookie) and a couple of runningbacks in the 2nd round who don't even play = "This guy is such a genius, he's just operating on a whole other level from the rest of the NFL!! He's playing chess and everyone else is playing checkers" -- Mike Lombardi.

InmanRoshi: PunchDrunkPanda: I still can't forget the Skip Bayless ravings how New England won the offseason with the Haynesworth and Ochocinco acquisitions.

Mike Lombardi is the worst.

Belichick brings in Haynesworth, Ocho Cinco and trades back 15 times in the draft to pick up a an always injured cornerback (who then gets injured as a rookie) and a couple of runningbacks in the 2nd round who don't even play = "This guy is such a genius, he's just operating on a whole other level from the rest of the NFL!! He's playing chess and everyone else is playing checkers" -- Mike Lombardi.

Pretty bad whiff, but I do like Lombardi when he wrote for NFP - haven't followed him much on NFL Network. He redeems himself with some of his commentary I think, whereas Bayless just trolls Crawford for two hours a day.

balthan: I was hoping both McNabb and Haynesworth would flourish, just as more salt in the wounds of Redskin fans. Alas, neither has come to pass.

I'll just have to find solace in their current on-the-field trainwreck.

Most likely, you'll be able to find that solace fo a long long time.

But what's wrong with Brady? His passes are all over the place and he's missing his receivers. I wouldn't be surprised if the Pats missed the playoffs because they just have too many flaws. So at the most they can beat the Jets at the Meadowlands this Sunday and let the season sweep be one highpoint of the season.

As a Redskins fan, I fully expected Fat Al to revert back to his Tennessee form and just eat guys alive (figuratively) now that he was with the Pats.

It's actually refreshing to see that Al personally is just a horrible human being who stopped trying once he got paid, and on an organizational level, they're acutally letting guys go who aren't worth keeping (see also, McNabb) - that's a weird and different thing for me to see this org do. Usually we let people like ryan Clark and Antonio Pierce go for no good reason, then they go on to have great careers elsewhere.

A few years ago I decided to splurge and actually buy an official NFL jersey. I'm a titans fan and I wanted someone who stayed here forever so I thought why not Haynesworth he's been here forever. He left the next year and his rapid descent into stupidity followed shortly after. I was able to pull his name off the back but I'm still rocking #92. The moral of my story is don't even spend over $100 on anything in a league where players switch teams quickly. Also try to avoid buying a douche's jersey

/Go Titans

skinink: But what's wrong with Brady? His passes are all over the place and he's missing his receivers. I wouldn't be surprised if the Pats missed the playoffs because they just have too many flaws. So at the most they can beat the Jets at the Meadowlands this Sunday and let the season sweep be one highpoint of the season.

Take a look at the Pats schedule, if they beat the Jets on Sunday they are pretty much a lock for the playoffs.

ModernPrimitive01: A few years ago I decided to splurge and actually buy an official NFL jersey. I'm a titans fan and I wanted someone who stayed here forever so I thought why not Haynesworth he's been here forever. He left the next year and his rapid descent into stupidity followed shortly after. I was able to pull his name off the back but I'm still rocking #92. The moral of my story is don't even spend over $100 on anything in a league where players switch teams quickly. Also try to avoid buying a douche's jersey

/Go Titans

I bought a Todd Heap Ravens jersey a few years ago for the same reason (well, that and I didn't want Boller, either Lewis, or Ed Reed; Ngata's jersey went on sale the year after).

The jersey went 9-10 (1-2 in the playoffs) and the numbers are starting to flake off, so it got retired before last season anyway.

// shiat, it was almost exactly 7 years ago - my 23rd birthday
// I feel old
// leaning towards a #92 Ngata before next season
// Sizzle?

ModernPrimitive01: A few years ago I decided to splurge and actually buy an official NFL jersey. I'm a titans fan and I wanted someone who stayed here forever so I thought why not Haynesworth he's been here forever. He left the next year and his rapid descent into stupidity followed shortly after. I was able to pull his name off the back but I'm still rocking #92. The moral of my story is don't even spend over $100 on anything in a league where players switch teams quickly. Also try to avoid buying a douche's jersey

/Go Titans

My issue is that whenever I acquire an official jersey something happens almost immediately that invalidates the jersey. I ordered a Chris Spielman jersey (favorite player all-time) and the day it arrived he retired due to injury. I was gifted by my uncle a powder blue Tomlinson Chargers jersey (uncle lives in SD area) a few weeks before he played his final game in San Diego, and my official Jim Thome Phillies jersey lasted only slightly longer, although I can break that one out of retirement again.

The only official jersey I will ever purchase going forward will be the Phillie Phanatic, as he will never be traded, sign elsewhere, or retire.

AdmirableSnackbar:
The only official jersey I will ever purchase going forward will be the Phillie Phanatic, as he will never be traded, sign elsewhere, or retire.

That's why I have my own name/number jersey. The only way they go away is if they fall apart, which is why its worth the extra $$ for the good ones.

Herm Edwards said it best. Loving football was the key. Fat Al did not love playing football. He loved what playing football got him. Big differecnce.

iron_city_ap: AdmirableSnackbar:
The only official jersey I will ever purchase going forward will be the Phillie Phanatic, as he will never be traded, sign elsewhere, or retire.

That's why I have my own name/number jersey. The only way they go away is if they fall apart, which is why its worth the extra $$ for the good ones.

That's OK to do as long as you never wear it in public.

GimpyNip: ModernPrimitive01: A few years ago I decided to splurge and actually buy an official NFL jersey. I'm a titans fan and I wanted someone who stayed here forever so I thought why not Haynesworth he's been here forever. He left the next year and his rapid descent into stupidity followed shortly after. I was able to pull his name off the back but I'm still rocking #92. The moral of my story is don't even spend over $100 on anything in a league where players switch teams quickly. Also try to avoid buying a douche's jersey

/Go Titans

Considering he was suspended for 5 games for stomping on a guy's head before you bought the jersey...

This. They have 2 teams with a winning record in their last 8 games.

@Jets this Sunday
Bill in Foxboro in December.

They also have the Iggles, but you're never really sure which Iggles team is going to show up.

InOmnibusCaritas: No, it has been deemed that we don't get one of those.

I'm a little bit confused about the uproar for more paterno threads anyway myself. There's a lot to be disgusted by there for sure. But I think it would be easy to be more disgusted if we weren't talking about an assistant coach who quit over a decade ago. Put the man in jail if he's guilty but beyond that it's just not a super fun story to discuss.

Obscure Login: Take a look at the Pats schedule, if they beat the Jets on Sunday they are pretty much a lock for the to get whipped in the first round of the playoffs.

fixed

kronicfeld: particularly given the vast number of draft picks New England has stockpiled

I've been hearing about that for a long time now. Reckon when old bellicheck is gonna use some of those picks and pick himself some good defensive players? You can't take them with you you know. How many years since they won a playoff game? What the fudge is he waiting on?

ModernPrimitive01: A few years ago I decided to splurge and actually buy an official NFL jersey. I'm a titans fan and I wanted someone who stayed here forever so I thought why not Haynesworth he's been here forever. He left the next year and his rapid descent into stupidity followed shortly after. I was able to pull his name off the back but I'm still rocking #92. The moral of my story is don't even spend over $100 on anything in a league where players switch teams quickly. Also try to avoid buying a douche's jersey

/Go Titans

I go for retired/iconic players. I can't bear to part with that kind of cheese for something that will be irrelevant in 2 years.

I started this rule after I bought my Vikings Moss jersey (the year before he was traded to the Raiders).

Link (new window)

- or -

Link (new window)

Bucs claim him off waivers.

From the Twitters:

The Bucs released DT John McCargo to make room for Haynesworth.

@Joy_of_Painter They only had to drop one guy to make room for you? Have you been slimming down?