I'm not laughing.

Wanted?

Chariset: ....not a single post in this thread is making any sense. I'm going to bed in hopes my sanity will have remembered where I am by morning.

Well, the dog took the aircraft cairrier and ran away to peanutbuttertown to you too, bub.

I found a sound in the house one day, if you know who lost it, I'll give it away! This sound I found said, this sound belongs to a hot ray, ray, hot, pot, pot.

Somacandra: Great. I've been submitting periodic redlit reminders of this nationwide EAS test for months telling people not to panic and to tell others not to panic, and this is the GREEN? A dyslexic clown? At least some sort of "My balls are trapped in a nationwide EAS test help I'm so very scared" or "Pricipal . Caught sayof TV that has stoped beeping " See, told ya so" Is national attack or not. CNN Says yes. FEMA Looking for 911s -OR- "hello, I am to call police to EAS and wait for answer again" or even "I saw an Emergency Action Notification turtle." This? THIS? Well fark you Rob!

allow me to express my sincerest sympathies in your time of dellusion driven emotional distress.

Because you are so distraught I wont mock you too much or point out that this headline is WAY better than any of yours you list. More than once.

I hope they didn't change the EAS squawk or I'll have to change my ringtone again.

Well, the joke's on them! I haven't watched TV or listened to the radio in months :P

Damn, and I am going to be out and about at 1pm Dallas time, (Dallas has it's own time? I thought it only had oil and cattle) So, regrettably I won't be able to hear the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

/sending a get well card to Somacandra for the post traumatic stress she/he is under

Can't sleep, uncanny valley will eat me.

Chaos for control.

It's funny when a Farker only thinks about the *BEEEEEEEEEEEEP*.

Chariset: ....not a single post in this thread is making any sense. I'm going to bed in hopes my sanity will have remembered where I am by morningeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

FTFY

Chariset: ....not a single post in this thread is making any sense. I'm going to bed in hopes my sanity will have remembered where I am by morning.

as soon as the alligator gets off the escalator?

It's not clear when a national emergency alert would be used. It would not have been used for 9/11...

So why the hell even have the worthless damned thing?? An unknown amount of multiple jumbo jets, flying around full of jet fuel, purposefully crashing into targets and that wouldn't be worthy of telling people about???

But, a cyber attack that would take out a power grid.. yeah, use it for that where most people do not even have a backup radio anymore (and yes, I do have one - my old Nokia cell phone, with 2 batteries I keep charged, actually has a great radio in it, and internal speaker is surprising loud/clear - makes my iPhone speaker sound like a $0.59 pile of crap from Big Lots)

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP "This is an alert to tell you that your power is out!"

"Well no farking shiat! STFU and stop interrupting ma'tunes for crap I already knew about the second it happened."

"This was only a test. Had it been an actual emergency, you'd all be dead by now."

What the Fark am I reading?

Wait for the beep
You gotta leave your name, you gotta leave your number
Wait for the beep
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

TheMega: It's not clear when a national emergency alert would be used. It would not have been used for 9/11...

So why the hell even have the worthless damned thing?? An unknown amount of multiple jumbo jets, flying around full of jet fuel, purposefully crashing into targets and that wouldn't be worthy of telling people about???

But, a cyber attack that would take out a power grid.. yeah, use it for that where most people do not even have a backup radio anymore (and yes, I do have one - my old Nokia cell phone, with 2 batteries I keep charged, actually has a great radio in it, and internal speaker is surprising loud/clear - makes my iPhone speaker sound like a $0.59 pile of crap from Big Lots)

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP "This is an alert to tell you that your power is out!"

"Well no farking shiat! STFU and stop interrupting ma'tunes for crap I already knew about the second it happened."

Well, Yellowstone could decide to blow, a national warning system would be useful in creating a traffic jam that would block the evacuation of a quarter of the nation's people. So there's that.

The alert, to be broadcast at 1 p.m. Houston time,

Sooooo, what, that's 1964?

Remember kids, if they can test it on all radio and teevee at once, they can also SHUT DOWN all radio and teevee at once.

Sleep well.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been told to


RRRRUUUUNNNNNNN!

Best fark headline I've seen

[Sad] Legendary womans rights activist Betty Friedan passed away today at 73. World loses not only a fine broad, but great piece of ass

Funniest headline? I tell you what, I could have used some further ado.

Ah. More Paranoia courtesy US government.

Got to get ready for those commie terrist atomic bombs!!!

DUCK AND COVER!!!!

Match Game '76 filler music courtesy of subby

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

platedlizard: Well, the joke's on them! I haven't watched TV or listened to the radio in months :P

I'm gonna DVR it.

I don't get the headline. Seriously. I mean yeah, I get the BEEEP, he is wearing a clown nose. But I don't get the dyslexia bit, and it really isn't all that funny to me anyway...nor will it be if you have to explain it, I am sure.

Sorry Subbs, that is a headline fail.

-1

/Plus, proclaiming your headline to be the funniest in Fark history is like proclaiming yourself to be Fark's resident Queen Superfan. It just doesn't work that way.

Mayhem of the Black Underclass: [www.urban75.org image 300x220]

Well, at least someone did it. Maybe now people will stop complaining about how greenlBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEP

I submitted this with a better *BEEEP*

Somacandra: Great. I've been submitting periodic redlit reminders of this nationwide EAS test for months telling people not to panic and to tell others not to panic, and this is the GREEN? A dyslexic clown? At least some sort of "My balls are trapped in a nationwide EAS test help I'm so very scared" or "Pricipal . Caught sayof TV that has stoped beeping " See, told ya so" Is national attack or not. CNN Says yes. FEMA Looking for 911s -OR- "hello, I am to call police to EAS and wait for answer again" or even "I saw an Emergency Action Notification turtle." This? THIS? Well fark you Rob!


Wow, so glad you've been working diligently. How would anyone know it's a test, aside from the whole " THIS IS A TEST...." part scrolling across the TV???

"Believe or not, George isn't at home..."

CruJones: Wow, so glad you've been working diligently. How would anyone know it's a test, aside from the whole " THIS IS A TEST...." part scrolling across the TV???

"The alert, to be broadcast at 1 p.m. Houston time, will not display graphics stating the familiar "this is a test" message on some stations because of their technical limitations."

A woman in my office stated - "This would be a great time for a terrorist to attack, everyone would think it is part of the test."

I of course reported her to homeland security.

fredklein: CruJones: Wow, so glad you've been working diligently. How would anyone know it's a test, aside from the whole " THIS IS A TEST...." part scrolling across the TV???

"The alert, to be broadcast at 1 p.m. Houston time, will not display graphics stating the familiar "this is a test" message on some stations because of their technical limitations."

no Chyron generator for HD? What station can't afford to buy one? Owning a station is just a license to make cash. Just hold up a cardboard sign you brainless bast . . . but I repeat myself