Like anything you say is actually going to sink into a head that thick.

Fairly solid. I would have preferred further explanation pages about why Adam couldn't marry the corpse, Billy, or the dog though.

Why would anyone voluntarily choose to talk politics with a crazy, partisan relative? What could possibly be gained from such an exchange?

Just because someone thinks homosexuality shouldn't be recognized as a valid sexual choice doesn't make them a right-wing teabagger. Why is homosexuality considered something that should be forced down America's throat but other sexual deviances are still taboo?

I really should be allowed to marry my toaster. Why must you make us live in sin, government?

ignatiusst: Just because someone thinks homosexuality shouldn't be recognized as a valid sexual choice doesn't make them a right-wing teabagger. Why is homosexuality considered something that should be forced down America's throat but other sexual deviances are still taboo?

This is true. It is, by and large, generational (if you want a citation someone will post the graph later). As for homosexuality being forced down America's throat -- yeah, so what? The people against it have lost. You can't put toothpaste back in the tube. Gay marriage will be legal in all 50 states within 10-20 years.

If only someone had thought of this argument years ago! Why, the number of FARK threads we could've simply avoided...

ignatiusst

Whoops. Or maybe not.

ignatiusst: a valid sexual choice

Not a valid sexual choice. A valid marriage configuration. Person A can marry Person B. Person B can marry Person C. Person A cannot marry Person C. The only reason is their gender. This is unequal protection under the law and a 14th Amendment violation.

ignatiusst: other sexual deviances

Name these other taboos which include consent.

ignatiusst: forced down America's throat

I'd make a homoeroticism joke here, but that'd be played out. Instead, I'll point to the constant use of the right of dominance imagery, in both success and failure. Why are you so fixated on rape and desiring of asserting your dominance upon others?

I don't bother, I just accept that they'll eventually die.

ignatiusst: Just because someone thinks homosexuality shouldn't be recognized as a valid sexual choice doesn't make them a right-wing teabagger.

Not a teabagger, but definitely a social conservative. "Sexual choice" being the dumbest part of that sentence, incidentally.

Why is homosexuality considered something that should be forced down America's throat but other sexual deviances are still taboo?

Oh, you're one of those. Well, no worries, as much as you like thinking about homosexuality being forced down your throat, all we really want is equal recognition under the law as straight couples.

How to explain the difference between a possessive pronoun and a contraction:

I don't care what you say. I'm still going to divorce my turtle so I can marry my headless Loli.

ignatiusst: Just because someone thinks homosexuality shouldn't be recognized as a valid sexual choice doesn't make them a right-wing teabagger. Why is homosexuality considered something that should be forced down America's throat but other sexual deviances are still taboo?

Since when does marriage have anything to do with sex?

Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Tell them that at the earliest time possible, you are going to institute a mental competency hearing, have them declared incompetent and send them off to the worst possible nursing home possible you can find where they can ponder what it feels like to not have their full rights and dignities as people for the rest of their stay.

thismomentinblackhistory: Gay marriage will be legal in all 50 states within 10-20 years.

I wish I could agree with your prediction but unfortunately some states are still pretty backwards. Today many places in Georgia, but not the entire state or even a majority of municipalities, are voting on whether or not to allow Sunday alcohol sales. I find it hard to believe that if we're just now getting around to that we'll get to the gay rights issue within the next quarter century.

Occam's Chainsaw: Not a valid sexual choice. A valid marriage configuration. Person A can marry Person B. Person B can marry Person C. Person A cannot marry Person C. The only reason is their gender. This is unequal protection under the law and a 14th Amendment violation.

That's just all there is to it. Marriage as a legal instrument is nothing more than a contract entered into by two natural persons. To deny this based on gender is absolutely unequal protection, I don't understand why the courts don't always interpret it as such.

Marriage as a religious institution is whatever the church wants to say it is, that's their business, but this is the government we're talking about here, not the church.

Really?

Why are you people responding to a troll as if he's serious?

Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

eraser8: Really?

Why are you people responding to a troll as if he's serious?

Object lesson. For every jerk-off that posts the above FOR TEH LULZ, there are five people who actually think like that.

I try to abridge the DERP for the sanity of others, though.

eraser8: Really?

Why are you people responding to a troll as if he's serious?

It really never ceases to amaze me.

what_now: I don't bother, I just accept that they'll eventually die.

I recently read that only 29% of Americans over 65 support interracial marriage. You can't reason with that.

Occam's Chainsaw: eraser8: Really?

Why are you people responding to a troll as if he's serious?

Object lesson. For every jerk-off that posts the above FOR TEH LULZ, there are five people who actually think like that.

I try to abridge the DERP for the sanity of others, though.

Who cares about the people who actually think like that, though? As someone earlier pointed out, the liberalization of sexuality has, by-and-large won-out in America. There may be people who don't like it, but it isn't like their opinions are going to affect what is, at this point, a foregone conclusion. You are just feeding trolls at this point (not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you).

SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

And, at the same time, the liberals promote Sharia law...which insists on the death penalty for active homosexuals.

How could not know this?

SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

Can we volunteer and get paid for that?

Diogenes: SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

Can we volunteer and get paid for that?

Are you volunteering to be the authority or the voyeur?

eraser8: SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

And, at the same time, the liberals promote Sharia law...which insists on the death penalty for active homosexuals.

How could not know this?

Congratulations on what might possibly be the stupidest thing I'll hear today.

As usual, this article uses straw men and ad hoc post logico ergo arguments to make the semblance of points without actually making any sense. *sigh* but this is what passes for intelligent commentary these days. Cute pictures and reducto ad fellatio to defend the indefensible.

So let's look at these one at a time.

Toasters. Well, this might seem valid, but only inasmuch as we're discussing modern-day toasters. But what kind of dim-witted person would presume that toaster technology will not evolve to a point in the future where this argument, the lack of ability to consent, will remain valid? You know who this sort of person is? The same sort of person who passed up the opportunity to buy Microsoft stock back in the day because personal computing was just a "fad." Visionless and blind. There are experts predicting basic levels of sentience in household appliances within the next few decades ... so what then? When toasters become self-aware, according the logic in this "article," they are now entitled to citizenship and marriage rights? When you fail to think ahead and consider all the future implications, it's exactly this sort of scenario you create. This is *exactly* how Hitler came to power.

And Billy, the ten year old child. Again, this argument presumes all kinds of suppositions. Are we this certain that time travel can never exist, that some pedophile will not find a way to travel into the future when Billy turns 18, marry him, then travel back to the past to molest him as his legal future spouse? Who's ready to deal with this can of worms? Not the writer of this article, obviously. And what if Billy has surgery and has his limbs replaced with the limbs of a grown man. Now he's adult over half of his total body area -- is he a child or is he a man? Do you seriously want our courts to have a final say in situations like this?

A corpse. Yeah, that's a rich argument given our modern-day society's fascination with the undead. Here's a newsflash, buddy -- the first step to social acceptance is media normalcy. You see enough zombies and vampires on TV and in the movies, they start to seem normal. All that needs to happen now is for us to find out they actually exist, and bam -- equal rights for the undead is a forgone conclusion. But now, you wouldn't think about that either, would you. Don't think the undead exist? Well, a few decades ago they didn't know about black holes, either. You deny those, too? Hypocrite.

And a dog. Really? A dog? Hey, buddy, you know what kinds of experiments they're doing these days on animals? What happens if some scientist creates a dog with human intelligence? Huh? Yeah, we're right back there with the future toaster.

So here's an idea for you, bright guy: try thinking about these things before you post. Just try it some time, and maybe you'll surprise yourself.

sweetmelissa31: what_now: I don't bother, I just accept that they'll eventually die.

I recently read that only 29% of Americans over 65 support interracial marriage. You can't reason with that.

They's miscegenated!

SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

That's how Larry Craig caught teh ghey. Ken Mehlman too, but he is out of the closet because he was forced to watch gheys make out on multiple occasions.

It takes repeated viewings to sink in completely.

eraser8: Diogenes: SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

Can we volunteer and get paid for that?

Are you volunteering to be the authority or the voyeur?

The kissers, duh.

pizen: I wish I could agree with your prediction but unfortunately some states are still pretty backwards. Today many places in Georgia, but not the entire state or even a majority of municipalities, are voting on whether or not to allow Sunday alcohol sales. I find it hard to believe that if we're just now getting around to that we'll get to the gay rights issue within the next quarter century.


Massachusetts legalized Sunday alcohol sales and gay marriage at the same time.

Occam's Chainsaw: eraser8: Really?

Why are you people responding to a troll as if he's serious?

Object lesson. For every jerk-off that posts the above FOR TEH LULZ, there are five people who actually think like that.

I think you have that backwards by a long shot, at least here on Fark.

The ratio of fake right wingers to real right wingers on Fark is at about 20:1 now.

An adult that is opposed to gay marriage for moral or religious reasons is not likely to ever change their mind. Regardless of the argument put forth. A child or adolescent might be persuaded to change their mind, but not an adult.

what_now: Massachusetts legalized Sunday alcohol sales and gay marriage at the same time.

Tsk tsk.

Soooo much sin....

what_now: Massachusetts legalized Sunday alcohol sales and gay marriage at the same time.

Next you'll tell me they will be able to buy a car on the sabbath!

/can't do that in PA
//but you can get booze

Diogenes: eraser8: SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

And, at the same time, the liberals promote Sharia law...which insists on the death penalty for active homosexuals.

How could not know this?

Congratulations on what might possibly be the stupidest thing I'll hear today.

Are you really suggesting that conservatives AREN'T simultaneously claiming that liberals want to force gay marriage on America AND force Sharia law (which condemns homosexuals to death) on America?

Have you not been paying attention? At all?

what_now: Massachusetts legalized Sunday alcohol sales and gay marriage at the same time.

I never understood banning booze on Sunday. Isn't that the one day of the week where you're supposed to imbibe?

Sin_City_Superhero: An adult that is opposed to gay marriage for moral or religious reasons is not likely to ever change their mind. Regardless of the argument put forth. A child or adolescent might be persuaded to change their mind, but not an adult

eraser8: SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

And, at the same time, the liberals promote Sharia law...which insists on the death penalty for active homosexuals.

How could he not know this?

I don't know. I am obviously for the death penalty for both my boyfriend and I.

Pocket Ninja: This is *exactly* how Hitler came to power.

Hitler was a toaster-farker? I had no idea that we had so much in common.

Pocket Ninja: So here's an idea for you, bright guy: try thinking about these things before you post. Just try it some time, and maybe you'll surprise yourself.

And this is why you are favorited as "Awesome."

I will admit it...I want to fark a toaster!

eraser8: Are you really suggesting that conservatives AREN'T simultaneously claiming that liberals want to force gay marriage on America AND force Sharia law (which condemns homosexuals to death) on America?

Have you not been paying attention? At all?

Poe's Law strikes again :-(

SphericalTime: eraser8: SphericalTime: Diogenes: Not having to hide yourself is not forcing homosexuality down your throat.

Well, you know, the liberals in the government have been known to kidnap conservative citizens and force them to sit down and watch gay people make out.

And, at the same time, the liberals promote Sharia law...which insists on the death penalty for active homosexuals.

How could he not know this?

I don't know. I am obviously for the death penalty for both my boyfriend and I.

That's what Republicans say. They claim liberals want marriage equality AND sharia law...two completely contradictory, mutually exclusive propositions.

RexTalionis: what_now: Massachusetts legalized Sunday alcohol sales and gay marriage at the same time.

I never understood banning booze on Sunday. Isn't that the one day of the week where you're supposed to imbibe?

Some states pull the uber dick move of only selling warm beer .... like that is going to stop the hardcore alcoholics they are trying to reach.

thismomentinblackhistory: Some states pull the uber dick move of only selling warm beer .... like that is going to stop the hardcore alcoholics they are trying to reach.

I drink warm beer. So does most of the beer drinking world. I don't get why Americans think this is weird.

ignatiusst: Who cares about the people who actually think like that, though?

Arguing enough of them to rationality is beneficial. It keeps the number we have to actively shun and/or purge down.

sigdiamond2000: I think you have that backwards by a long shot, at least here on Fark.

Oh, on FARK? Definitely. In the general populace? Assume five bigots for every loudmouthed bigot.

Diogenes: what_now: Massachusetts legalized Sunday alcohol sales and gay marriage at the same time.

Tsk tsk.

Soooo much sin....

And yet, the lowest divorce rate in the country.

Weird, that.

Staplermofo is going to be crushed when he learns he can't marry inanimate objects.