I would never get out of jail. In a good week, I might poop 3 times. And that's with homefield advantage.

So that's how Lohan got out of jail so fast.

just give me a steady diet of Taco Bell and I'll be out in 4 or 5 days

I was expecting this to be some logic-defying gay test.
"OK, he passes normally (and passes normally). Clearly he hasn't been rogered up the poop chute. Cancel the hanging, boys."

Somacandra
Of course this is the one Fark thread where I don't see this chick on the side.

Of course. In this thread you tell her she's the only one and see someone else on the side.

Eat da poo poo?

Why do African guys always wear really loud cruise wear shirts? It's like they got their wardrobe ideas from Cosmo Kramer.

It has been many moons since he was free...

At least he is loose in the end!

Poop thread, and I got shiat for comments.

he was making Jenkem!

That's a lot of Courics.

Paging Fela Kuti...

Considering how much food you'd get in Nigerian prison, that probably translates to 5 years...

It's a good thing I poop about 5-7 times a week!

I AM MRS. MARIAM OMIDINA WIDOW OF LATE ACTOR BABATUNDE OMIDINA OF NIGERIA.

I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION. I ESCAPED ALONG WITH MY HUSBAND AND TWO OF OUR SONS TIMOTHY AND BASHER OUT OF NIGERIA TO ABIDJAN,COTE D'IVOIRE WHERE MY FAMILY AND I SETTLED, WHILE WE LATER MOVED TO SETTLED IN MORROCO WHERE MY HUSBAND LATER DIED OF INTESTINAL DISEASE.

HOWEVER, DUE TO THIS SITUATION WE DECIDED TO CHANGED MOST OF MY HUSBAND'S 25 SUCCESSFUL BOWEL MOVEMENTS DEPOSITED IN LAGOS PRISON...

Let me guess... they accused him of eeeting da poo-poo?

Why is someone grabbing his moob? I wish he could meet up with that Eat Da Poo Poo guy.

I'd only be in for two days after a four day bender.

4 + alcohol = 2
alcohol = -2

and

alcohol = happy++

So what does that make beer?

/-2++

Do they have a dedicated poop inspector for this, or just make the one of the black guys on the shift do it?

Oh, wait...

/doh?

DirkTheDaring: Let me guess... they accused him of eeeting da poo-poo?

Jake Havechek: Eat da poo poo?

Shiat.

danny_kay: steamingpile: That's a lot of Courics.

I'm still a little unsure how many Kardashians that is...

It's exactly 25 Sheryl Crow-Sheets.

coinspinner: I would never get out of jail. In a good week, I might poop 3 times. And that's with homefield advantage.

You might wanna get that checked out, you should be going at least once a day!

They will hear from the Anti-defecation League.

Give me a case of PBR and some McDonald's and I would be out in less than 48 hours.

The time time you think your job sucks, just be glad you're not a poop inspection in a Nigerian prison.

This could make an African-American just want to be an American.

feed the birds, feed the birds
droppings, droppings
feed the birds

Seen fleeing the scene....

Normally prison time should be measured by the number of times things come in the ass, not come out.

The drug enforcement agency said he had "allegedly tested positive to drug ingestion."

How do you test someone for drugs they swallow as a way to smuggle them?

Furthermore, 25? It took them 25 times to figure out he didn't do it? After about the 3rd you should be able to realize there are no drugs there.

I think this guy pissed off someone in the government and they came up with some ridiculous way to get even.

6655321: They will hear from the Anti-defecation League.

win

if you are a heroin addict and withdrawing that should take about 30 minutes. didn't they see Trainspotting?

If he were a Farker, he could have done that in one politics-tab thread.

Mattyb710: The drug enforcement agency said he had "allegedly tested positive to drug ingestion."

How do you test someone for drugs they swallow as a way to smuggle them?

Furthermore, 25? It took them 25 times to figure out he didn't do it? After about the 3rd you should be able to realize there are no drugs there.

I think this guy pissed off someone in the government and they came up with some ridiculous way to get even.

I don't know I think I might be more inclined to break the law if I knew some government lacky was gonna have to monitor my shiat stank the whole time I was imprisoned.

I think maybe some low level dude pissed off someone higher up and got assigned to "watch this guy crap and then dig through it for the next couple weeks" duty.

Did he EAT DA POO POO (new window)??

Hell, during my last colonoscopy prep, I would have been out before sundown.

There's an app for that.

Thelyphthoric: I'm just trying to figure out what qualifies as an unsuccessful bowel movement.

Most politicians.