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(Detroit Free Press) Fail Man sideswipes a cop car at 1:49 AM, blows a .346 on the breathalyzer. As a bonus, he had three young children in the car with him   (freep.com) divider line 40
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4038 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2011 at 10:22 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-11-06 07:59:55 PM
Ta Da!
 
2011-11-06 08:17:26 PM
I hope the mother kicks his ass out.
Yeah, 3 kids or more is part of the dysfunctional equation.
 
2011-11-06 09:09:22 PM
A farklore hero!
 
2011-11-06 09:51:28 PM
Drew has kids?
 
hej
2011-11-06 10:26:14 PM
Or as Fark calls it, "monday."
 
2011-11-06 10:29:29 PM
hej: Or as Fark calls it, "monday."

Yeah, but this happened Saturday. Guy must have decided to get ahead on his irresponsible drunkard schedule.

/The Irresponsible drunkard schedule. The only day planner endorsed by Drew.
 
2011-11-06 10:29:41 PM
Can someone explain the verb "sideswipe" to me? I have no context outside of the N64 game Blast Corps.
 
2011-11-06 10:29:57 PM
hej: Or as Fark calls it, "monday."

Are you drunk?
:P
 
2011-11-06 10:31:42 PM
Cat With Two Heads: Can someone explain the verb "sideswipe" to me? I have no context outside of the N64 game Blast Corps.

two vehicles oriented parallel, making door-to-door contact...

/notsureifserious.gif
 
2011-11-06 10:32:11 PM
Cat With Two Heads: Can someone explain the verb "sideswipe" to me? I have no context outside of the N64 game Blast Corps.

Here ya go.... Link :) (new window)
 
2011-11-06 10:38:06 PM
Oh thank god! A fine citizen with kids, not like those losers with no kids.
 
2011-11-06 10:39:43 PM
Surely you wouldn't want his kids to be driving the car!
 
2011-11-06 10:39:59 PM
You know what blowing a .346 means? It means the cop doesn't know how to do a breath test properly.
 
2011-11-06 10:41:13 PM
when this story involves said drunk driver being an off-duty cop who was subsequently released without charges, it'll be interesting. Until then, "whateves."
 
2011-11-06 10:47:24 PM
Did he take a swig of makers mark before blowing on the tube? Anyway this thread is now about Whiskey.
imgs.sfgate.com
 
2011-11-06 10:48:11 PM
God forbid this person be prohibited from having a drivers license. Or owning a gun.
 
2011-11-06 10:48:16 PM
AbbeySomeone: Yeah, 3 kids or more is part of the dysfunctional equation.

Id' say he did an exceptional job notifying the authorities that he was drunk, didn't kill anyone, couldn't talk coherently, needed to be taken off the road, easier than walkin, and needed someone to temporarily take care of his children while he sobered up from over 1/3 of 1% BAC.

/bravo my good sir
//your jib, i like the cut of it
 
2011-11-06 10:48:39 PM
I am sure he is a productive member of society otherwise...
 
2011-11-06 10:51:45 PM
Uneven Displacement: when this story involves said drunk driver being an off-duty cop who was subsequently released without charges, it'll be interesting. Until then, "whateves."

those occurrences don't get published
 
2011-11-06 10:52:24 PM
No one was injured in the crash.
 
2011-11-06 10:54:15 PM
JasonOfOrillia: God forbid this person be prohibited from having a drivers license. Or owning a gun.

That's the pot smokers, stupid! THEY are the danger to society!

/FACETIOUS [fuh-see-shuhs] -->
 
2011-11-06 10:56:13 PM
JasonOfOrillia: God forbid this person be prohibited from having a drivers license. Or owning a gun.

Don't need a license to drive.

/helps if you're pulled over, but definitely not necessary to get behind the wheel as many demonstrate on a daily basis
 
2011-11-06 11:04:21 PM
Thisbymaster: Did he take a swig of makers mark before blowing on the tube? Anyway this thread is now about Whiskey.
[imgs.sfgate.com image 580x377]


You're a good man. Well... a terrible man. Errr.... a good terrible man. Either way, I like the cut of your jib sailor.
 
2011-11-06 11:23:14 PM
JasonOfOrillia: God forbid this person be prohibited from having a drivers license. Or owning a gun.

Or voting.
 
2011-11-06 11:53:19 PM
Can someone smarter than me do the math on how many drinks a .346 requires?
 
2011-11-06 11:58:19 PM
Link (new window)
 
2011-11-06 11:58:58 PM
hmmm, stupid box didna work.

http://oade.nd.edu/educate-yourself-alcohol/blood-alcohol-concentrati o n/
 
2011-11-06 11:59:52 PM
.346? He is lucky he is not dead based on that.
 
2011-11-07 01:15:03 AM
Thisbymaster: Did he take a swig of makers mark before blowing on the tube? Anyway this thread is now about Whiskey.
[imgs.sfgate.com image 580x377]


This happened in Pontiac Michigan... Chances are pretty good it was malt liquor rather than single malt scotch.
 
2011-11-07 01:41:40 AM
gwydion56: Drew has kids?

Not only kids but a smoking hot wife. Money, helping dorks get hot women since 3500BC
 
2011-11-07 01:46:04 AM
RepoManTSM: Can someone smarter than me do the math on how many drinks a .346 requires?

As a 230 lb guy, that would be about 18 beers consecutively, or 25 over a period of 5 hours. The BAC varies based on body weight and time. I have a breath analyzer that is pretty accurate, but I've never taken it that high as far as you know.
 
2011-11-07 01:49:18 AM
.346 is impressive any way you look at it. That's Hank the Angry Dwarv territory.
 
2011-11-07 01:52:39 AM
RepoManTSM: Can someone smarter than me do the math on how many drinks a .346 requires?

The equivalent of 21-23 1.25 oz. servings of whiskey over the course of 4 hours based upon each serving raising your BAC .02 and the metabolism of the same at the rate of .02 per hour on an average American male (220-240 lbs.). Or, if you prefer, 6-7 Long Island Iced Teas in said time period. That is, at least the way mine were made when I still drank alcohol.

Think about that: 21+ shots in 4 hours. Most people would be in the hospital or in a world of hurt, and this guy made it far enough to hit a police car. This is his 2nd DUI. Anyone want to guess how many times he made it home drunk out of his gourd? Hundreds, I'd bet. This guy is an alcoholic, any reasonable person can state that without fear of being contradicted.

Really, though, I only wonder one thing: what's his Fark handle?
 
2011-11-07 02:04:11 AM
blows a .346 on the breathalyzer

Wow! The most I ever blew was a .19, and I was PARKED, SOBERING UP, when the cops came and arrested me for being in possession of a motor vehicle while crocked.

I don't think I could have gotten THAT drunk and remained conscious.

Of course, I learned my lesson, after having to get a lawyer to get the charges dropped, having to spend some time at the station proving I was drunk, and being ignored as I was explaining just why I was SITTING THERE and not moving.

Next time I got plastered, I drove home.
 
2011-11-07 02:10:45 AM
That's barely more than 0.1 per child, which seems like a reasonable amount of alcohol consumption required for putting up with kids. Jail might be a nice escape
 
2011-11-07 03:03:23 AM
Rik01: blows a .346 on the breathalyzer

Wow! The most I ever blew was a .19, and I was PARKED, SOBERING UP, when the cops came and arrested me for being in possession of a motor vehicle while crocked.

I don't think I could have gotten THAT drunk and remained conscious.

Of course, I learned my lesson, after having to get a lawyer to get the charges dropped, having to spend some time at the station proving I was drunk, and being ignored as I was explaining just why I was SITTING THERE and not moving.

Next time I got plastered, I drove home.


Well I'm glad to see you learnt something from your experience!

After all, if we stop learning, we stop living...

/The location in your profile, it fits you!
 
2011-11-07 06:15:29 AM
Three kids in the car, and none of them were driving? What was he thinking?
 
2011-11-07 09:41:09 AM
About Tree Fiddy???
/Daiimm you monster!
 
2011-11-07 01:31:33 PM
The Aristocrats
/I am disappoint not in subby-line
 
2011-11-07 02:55:21 PM
This man is a jerk for keeping his kids up that late at night.
 
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