I heard that he really died that night, though the reports might have been exaggerated.

this is the sort of shiat that gets greenlit these days? On the front page?

We need a Mark Twain today. With Vonnegut dead, we're all out of good humorists.

AverageAmericanGuy: We need a Mark Twain today. With Vonnegut dead, we're all out of good humorists.

This.

And I will cockpunch anyone who mentions the name of that Prairie Home Farktard in response.

Balchinian: AverageAmericanGuy: We need a Mark Twain today. With Vonnegut dead, we're all out of good humorists.

This.

And I will cockpunch anyone who mentions the name of that Prairie Home Farktard in response.

Why the hate?

Garrison Keillor is funnier than Mark Twain.

Sock Ruh Tease: Garrison Keillor is funnier than Mark Twain.

/second

Aside from Stephen Frye I can't think of anyone alive today who comes close. Maybe Steve Martin.

FTFA

"They would bring their diaries to Mechanics Hall, open them on their knees and write what they were hearing. It was socially sanctioned," said Mr. Wright, who is at work on a book about Lyceum culture in America and organized a September symposium on the subject for the American Antiquarian Society.

Damn, Bloggers are everywhere

Sock Ruh Tease
"Garrison Keillor is funnier than Mark Twain."

If that is not a troll, then you seriously need counseling. Pretentious & douchewad are the first words that come to my mind when the name Keillor is mentioned.

I doubt you heard of him. I liked Mark Twain 150 years before he was popular. Then he sold out.

Jay Leno is funny?

Didn't Emperor Norton commission this guy for the story about those frogs?

Subby, you are a day off and historically and geographically incorrect. The attempt took place in London, and Mr Fawkes never succeeded in his bombing attempt...and he really wasn't all that funny if you ask me. Did kick a lot of ass though.

Unless you're a metal band whose appeal is becoming more selective, you will bomb in Worcester. It also might be the only city with nearly 200,000 population that shuts down its Main Street for burnouts every summer.

/lived there
//never once went to the Palladium

Mugato: AverageAmericanGuy: We need a Mark Twain today. With Vonnegut dead, we're all out of good humorists.

I assume you've never heard of a one Jay Leno?

One is more than enough.

Mugato: AverageAmericanGuy: We need a Mark Twain today. With Vonnegut dead, we're all out of good humorists.

I assume you've never heard of a one Jay Leno?

I nominate you.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: They turned on him when he started smashing those johnnycakes with the giant mallet

Well, to be fair, it was very difficult to get johnnycakes out of garments in the days before dry-cleaning.

[Twain] would come out on the stage, slouching, hands in pockets and look befuddled. He'd walk to the footlights, peer at the audience and not say anything for one, two, three minutes, as if he were thinking, 'What am I doing here?' The longer he did this, it would make the audience nervous, then one by one they would laugh.

Approves

Kenny boys documentary on prohibition had one of twains best quotes which could probably be the motto for today's republican party intheir quest to get big government on everybodys back.

"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits" - MT

AverageAmericanGuy: We need a Mark Twain today. With Vonnegut dead, we're all out of good humorists.

Well, it is getting cold. I'm willing to bet as the weather warms in the spring, those ice cream men will be back out

Worcester.

They need to put less Worcester and more shire in their sauce.

Garrison Keillor: "if you steal from somebody long enough [Twain], eventually you'll be compared to them."

Guess he was right.....

Hermione_Granger: Jay Leno is funny?

No. Next question.

Damn Carlos Mencia is older than he looks...

Wormtown Rocks!

fatalvenom: [lh3.ggpht.com image 640x480]

Welcome to Worcester, dollah twenty five please

Blast from my high school past. Nicely done.

Newspapers of small towns (like Worcester) should realize that if they put their paper ONLINE, it will (may) be read by people all over the world. Not everyone knows where Worcester is. Is it Worcester MA? UK? NY? PA? VT? WI? MD? or a whole host of even smaller cities named Worcester all across the globe?

Editors should realize this and require all bylines include not just the city, but also the state (that should be enough). And the online version of the paper should also include the state somewhere. I searched everywhere on the online version and couldn't find it.

/Also, Twain >>> Keillor, Leno, et al. Twain was not a comedian, like a Leno, or even a Keillor. Twain was a humorist, which is a different species. A humorist takes slices of life, perhaps exaggerates some parts of dramatic (and humorist) effects, and relates them to people. Sometimes the stories aren't funny at all, but could be enlightening instead.

Twain complained that the 1,700 people at his hourlong performance in Mechanics Hall were "the staidest, puritanical people you ever saw." They couldn't be roused even with "a hundred thousand yoke of oxen."

So upset was Twain by the audience that he added, "By George, the next time I come here I mean to put some cathartic pills in my lecture."

Nothing about his Lyceum lecture that night pleased the humorist and writer. He even railed against the event chairman's decision to sit on the stage behind him, "a thing I detest," wrote Twain. "He is the last one that can air his good clothes and his owlish mug on my platform. I will have no more of this."



TheRealSam_L_Clemens
LOL Worcester u guys sucked 2nite! smh. U staid puritans mofos LOL. #lighten up
140 years ago


TheRealSam_L_Clemens
Also wat wz deal with broseph on stage b/h me? staring at my ass lol wtf? English ppl suck yo. #as long as the check cleared
140 years ago


TheRealSam_L_Clemens
to worcester haterz: NEVER coming back to dis shiathole. firing my agent and burning my passport lol. #i will have no more of this
140 years ago

fatalvenom: [lh3.ggpht.com image 640x480]

Welcome to Worcester, dollah twenty five please

That's even funnier because Worcester has no Mass Pike exits. The dickwads in Boston got upset with Worcester during the design phase and intentionally ran the road outside of Worcester, with Auburn and Grafton exits only. Later they added a big horkin' interchange at Millbury (Route 146) because they needed to take Central Massachusetts minds off of the crazy spending on Boston's Big Dig.

Off topic, sorry. But perhaps Twain is the source for one of my favorite lines about my hometown: "If they were to give Massachusetts an enema, the hose would go in Worcester."

dericwater: Newspapers of small towns (like Worcester) should realize that if they put their paper ONLINE, it will (may) be read by people all over the world. Not everyone knows where Worcester is. Is it Worcester MA? UK? NY? PA? VT? WI? MD? or a whole host of even smaller cities named Worcester all across the globe?

Editors should realize this and require all bylines include not just the city, but also the state (that should be enough). And the online version of the paper should also include the state somewhere. I searched everywhere on the online version and couldn't find it.



I agree with your basic point, but Worcester is not a "small town" by any definition. I grew up in a town with a population of 3500. New Mexico, where I live now, has towns with like 75 people. Worcester is a minor city; it is also a shiathole. That much hasn't changed since Twain's time, although these days it's less Puritans and more wiggers shiatting in everyone's cereal, plus Massholes, which I don't think had evolved into their modern form yet 140 years ago.

/I would rather go to New Jersey than Worcester

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.- Mark Twain.

I had to learn that the hard way. My father-in-law is an asshole. The harder I tried to be nice, to say "ya suh" the meaner he was. Finally, I said "f*ck you". I say that as a literal quote. Brother in laws wedding, I had lots to drink, my FIL was acting like a twat. Again. Finally, I had enough and told I never liked him and to go f*ck himself. He's barely spoken to me since in the past 25 years. So, my advice to you, is the same Twain gave to me through his writing. Don't try and win someones approval. It never works out.
.
..
...
Yah, cool story etc.

rickythepenguin: nglish ppl suck yo. #as long as the check cleared


ha, idiot. worcester mass.

i thought the story was about him going overseas. never mind.

Trance750: Hermione_Granger: Jay Leno is funny?

He CAN be, if you're a fan of the dry, sarcastic humor (whuch I am)

He hasn't been funny in over 2 decades. And that's not dry humor.

dericwater: Newspapers of small towns (like Worcester) should realize that if they put their paper ONLINE, it will (may) be read by people all over the world. Not everyone knows where Worcester is. Is it Worcester MA? UK? NY? PA? VT? WI? MD? or a whole host of even smaller cities named Worcester all across the globe?

Editors should realize this and require all bylines include not just the city, but also the state (that should be enough). And the online version of the paper should also include the state somewhere. I searched everywhere on the online version and couldn't find it.

For the love of Christ THIS.

I had to look at the graphic on the page to figure out what Worcester the article was talking about.

And it's not just bylines... how about having it on the banner at the top?

Also, Colleges and Universities are guilty of this. It's amazing how hard it is to find out where some schools are located from the information on their website. (I normally have to dig down through "contact us" and see where they want snail mail sent to.)

And one more thing: This same problem goes to people on the internet. I'm still shocked how many people on a forum will say "anyone in the Metro area?" and then get mad when they are asked to clarify what they meant.

Thanks for reminding why I hated history in high school. Sooooo boooooring. It's like tabloids for over educated snobs.

David Sedaris? Anyone?