That's horrible. We should all have licenses in order to carry sharp objects

The Internet has destroyed more industries than it has created. Online blogger websites have surpassed print media in popularity. Email has destroyed the nation's finest service, delivering mail since this country was formed. Those are obvious, but if you look deeper, you see the scissor manufacturers taking a hit too. Honestly, do you even own a pair anymore? Not kitchen shears, that's different, but a god honest pair of scissors. I doubt it.

I've worked for a scissor company for three decades, and since the invention of the internet, we've seen sales decline drastically, year over year. At this point, I'd rather pour salt in my eyes than look at last quarter's sales figures. I hope the tip-tapping thieves like blogging about your OWS protests, because you are the reason that America's has no jobs. Sad.

Headline! Thanks, subby. You gave me a good laugh on a day that promises to be as freakin' "awesome" as the preceding two weeks.

/NCSB.

I'm getting a kick out of this thread 'cause I spend a lot of time at that library.

/csb

Kif, we have a conundrum

...Lizard, Spock?

neck bleeds on rope, rope whips pig, pig jumps over the stigh, and I can get home tonight...

I thought Spock stabs the lizard?

Lizard poisons Spock. Spock phasers scissors. Rock crushes lizard. Paper disproves Spock. Scissors decapitate lizard. Lizard eats paper. Spock phasers rock.

I don't know why Spock couldn't phaser the Lizard before it poisons him. That's why Starfleet issues sidearms, right? And I suppose Spock could phaser the paper before the reader could read the proof. (Or the phaser the reader, if he's too late.)

They should provide free scissors to the homeless. The round ended, non neck stabby kind.

Sounds like a conundrum...

redpanda2: Kif, we have a conundrum

It took TEN POSTS before the Zapper shows up?

Why do you fight it so hard, Earl?

Wanted for questioning:

spentmiles: The Internet has destroyed more industries than it has created. Online blogger websites have surpassed print media in popularity. Email has destroyed the nation's finest service, delivering mail since this country was formed. Those are obvious, but if you look deeper, you see the scissor manufacturers taking a hit too. Honestly, do you even own a pair anymore? Not kitchen shears, that's different, but a god honest pair of scissors. I doubt it.

I've worked for a scissor company for three decades, and since the invention of the internet, we've seen sales decline drastically, year over year. At this point, I'd rather pour salt in my eyes than look at last quarter's sales figures. I hope the tip-tapping thieves like blogging about your OWS protests, because you are the reason that America's has no jobs. Sad.

I use scissors to trim my ball hair. Tell me where to find your company and I'll consider buying my next pair of ball hair trimmers from you.

Rock, Paper, Dynamite

Treize26: Rock, Paperscissors, Dynamite

Goddammit.

vexle: spentmiles: The Internet has destroyed more industries than it has created. Online blogger websites have surpassed print media in popularity. Email has destroyed the nation's finest service, delivering mail since this country was formed. Those are obvious, but if you look deeper, you see the scissor manufacturers taking a hit too. Honestly, do you even own a pair anymore? Not kitchen shears, that's different, but a god honest pair of scissors. I doubt it.

I've worked for a scissor company for three decades, and since the invention of the internet, we've seen sales decline drastically, year over year. At this point, I'd rather pour salt in my eyes than look at last quarter's sales figures. I hope the tip-tapping thieves like blogging about your OWS protests, because you are the reason that America's has no jobs. Sad.

I use scissors to trim my ball hair. Tell me where to find your company and I'll consider buying my next pair of ball hair trimmers from you.

Gotcha covered.