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(ESPN) Strange Big Ben leads parade of NFL players who wear their wedding bands during games because their wives like it   (espn.go.com) divider line 51
More: Strange, NFL Players, Big Ben, David Akers, Troy Polamalu, penalty boxes, John Kasay, Steve Weatherford, middle fingers  
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2140 clicks; posted to Sports » on 04 Nov 2011 at 1:14 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-11-04 10:48:55 AM
I assumed it was some sort of court ordered tracking device for Ben.
 
2011-11-04 01:16:22 PM
Its probably because his wife doesn't trust him
 
2011-11-04 01:16:41 PM
If I had a reputation for outright douchery with women, I'd probably also like to make every reminder to the world possible that I actually got hitched over the offseason.
 
2011-11-04 01:19:29 PM
I'm surprised Romo doesn't prominently wear his to try to convince us that she's anything but a beard.

The first time one of these guys gets a broken finger and the ring gets stuck and has to be cut off or, God forbid, the loss of circulation leads to amputation of the finger, I'm going to laugh. Was it worth it?

I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. My wife doesn't care, it upsets her not at all. If their wives are so vainglorious that they need to see their man wearing a ring those marriages are not going to be around very long.
 
2011-11-04 01:21:42 PM
I read about half that article... then I realized I had read half the article and felt stupid.

I stopped reading it.

/who cares?
 
2011-11-04 01:30:21 PM
Killer Cars: If I had a reputation for outright douchery with women, I'd probably also like to make every reminder to the world possible that I actually got hitched over the offseason.



Rothlisberger also wears a penis ring during games.
 
2011-11-04 01:30:39 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: The first time one of these guys gets a broken finger and the ring gets stuck and has to be cut off or, God forbid, the loss of circulation leads to amputation of the finger, I'm going to laugh. Was it worth it?

I think the more probable event would be getting your finger ripped off when the ring gets caught in someone's facemask (or between two facemasks). And I have played with several rugby players who got ring tattoos on their fingers. Wouldn't that be a better solution?
 
2011-11-04 01:56:36 PM
I ref football and soccer, in addition to playing hockey.

My wife would kill me if I DID wear my ring doing any of those.
 
2011-11-04 02:00:14 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason.


yeah, the navy had these monthly magazines with disturbing pictures of what happens when you wear rings around hatches / live electric circuits.

GIS "degloving" / "degloving injury"
 
2011-11-04 02:01:03 PM
AdmirableSnackbar: Adolf Oliver Nipples: The first time one of these guys gets a broken finger and the ring gets stuck and has to be cut off or, God forbid, the loss of circulation leads to amputation of the finger, I'm going to laugh. Was it worth it?

I think the more probable event would be getting your finger ripped off when the ring gets caught in someone's facemask (or between two facemasks). And I have played with several rugby players who got ring tattoos on their fingers. Wouldn't that be a better solution?


This. Wearing a metal band around your finger while having 200+ lb men run at you full speed is just asking for a missing finger. Every team I ever played on required us to remove any accessories (chains/necklaces, class rings, earrings (unless they're just studs) and all that) strictly because of that fear of ripping a finger clean off/choking/other painful actions.
 
2011-11-04 02:01:21 PM
I remember how Eva Longoria wanted Tony Parker to always have his wedding ring on, so he got a tattoo of a ring on his finger. Then she divorced him.
 
2011-11-04 02:05:50 PM
Romo'd in 4 posts. Close to the record, but not quite.
 
2011-11-04 02:05:51 PM
ESPN reports on topics that the nation cares about.

/must have been a break in Tebow coverage
 
2011-11-04 02:09:12 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. .

Thus the legend of Adolf Oliver Nipples, Ace Fighter Pilot, was born
 
2011-11-04 02:09:43 PM
Treygreen13: Romo'd in 4 posts. Close to the record, but not quite.

Sorry, I got here late. I was going for the 2nd post but two guys snuck in under the wire. Still, it should have been the Boobies. It's obligatory.
 
2011-11-04 02:10:01 PM
Just get a wedding ring tattoo. The ring is going to fark up your pass.
 
2011-11-04 02:10:19 PM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2011-11-04 02:11:08 PM
mikaloyd: Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. .

Thus the legend of Adolf Oliver Nipples, Ace Fighter Pilot, was born


I'm not a pilot. I'm an enlisted guy, 1A371, Airborne Communications. I'm not FLYNAVY by any stretch of the imagination.
 
2011-11-04 02:14:12 PM
Since so many of these guys wear necklaces of some sort the obvious would be just to thread the ring onto the necklace. The pitcher in Texas isn't the only one to do it, I've seen other MLB players do it as well.

/also thinks Ben wears his on a direct order from the Rooneys now that he's a Married ManTM
 
2011-11-04 02:14:33 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: mikaloyd: Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. .

Thus the legend of Adolf Oliver Nipples, Ace Fighter Pilot, was born

I'm not a pilot. I'm an enlisted guy, 1A371, Airborne Communications. I'm not FLYNAVY by any stretch of the imagination.


Thank you for serving.
 
2011-11-04 02:14:40 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: mikaloyd: Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. .

Thus the legend of Adolf Oliver Nipples, Ace Fighter Pilot, was born

I'm not a pilot. I'm an enlisted guy, 1A371, Airborne Communications. I'm not FLYNAVY by any stretch of the imagination.


You gotta admit, ol' Buzzy did a good job keeping up the act for quite some time.
 
2011-11-04 02:15:59 PM
Lt. Cheese Weasel: Killer Cars: If I had a reputation for outright douchery with women, I'd probably also like to make every reminder to the world possible that I actually got hitched over the offseason.

Rothlisberger also wears a penis ring during games.


/It's actually the same ring.
www.retardzone.com
 
2011-11-04 02:38:12 PM
AdmirableSnackbar: Adolf Oliver Nipples: mikaloyd: Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. .

Thus the legend of Adolf Oliver Nipples, Ace Fighter Pilot, was born

I'm not a pilot. I'm an enlisted guy, 1A371, Airborne Communications. I'm not FLYNAVY by any stretch of the imagination.

You gotta admit, ol' Buzzy did a good job keeping up the act for quite some time.


Prolly wore his ring while he was typing and it did him in.
 
2011-11-04 02:43:00 PM
AdmirableSnackbar: You gotta admit, ol' Buzzy did a good job keeping up the act for quite some time.

They usually do, until they get caught and the typical trainwreck ensues. Then they take the knowledge they gain from their exposure and go elsewhere with a much improved story. But I digress. This is about how Tony Romo married a beard, not military fakers.
 
2011-11-04 02:43:24 PM
The big danger is ring avulsion. You can GIS for it but don't blame me for what you see.
 
2011-11-04 02:55:33 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: AdmirableSnackbar: You gotta admit, ol' Buzzy did a good job keeping up the act for quite some time.

They usually do, until they get caught and the typical trainwreck ensues. Then they take the knowledge they gain from their exposure and go elsewhere with a much improved story. But I digress. This is about how Tony Romo married a beard, not military fakers.


So it is about people keeping up an act for an extended time. Buzzy, Romo, Roethlisberger...
 
2011-11-04 02:56:49 PM
rudemix: The big danger is ring avulsion. You can GIS for it but don't blame me for what you see.

uggg...
 
2011-11-04 03:15:23 PM
I heard he had about a dozen of the same rings made up in case he looses one in the girl he's raping.
 
2011-11-04 03:29:02 PM
Spanky_McFarksalot: I heard he had about a dozen of the same rings made up in case he looses one in the girl he's raping.

no you didn't. you just made that up.
 
2011-11-04 03:44:35 PM
Spanky_McFarksalot: I heard he had about a dozen of the same rings made up in case he looses one in the girl he's raping.

Maybe he should make them tighter?

monkwich: no you didn't. you just made that up.

He said it out loud and then heard himself say it.
 
2011-11-04 03:54:29 PM
Is this supposed to be silly or something? How about the Swiss soccer player who got his ring stuck on a fence while celebrating a goal score. It ripped his finger off AND he got a yellow card for delay of game.

Link (new window)
 
2011-11-04 03:58:59 PM
Donnchadha: Spanky_McFarksalot: I heard he had about a dozen of the same rings made up in case he looses one in the girl he's raping.

Maybe he should make them tighter?

monkwich: no you didn't. you just made that up.

He said it out loud and then heard himself say it.


Maybe he should get them looser?

/got nuthin
 
2011-11-04 04:14:33 PM
Ben would be a much better person and teammate if he spent more time around Tim Tebow.

/not a better QB though
 
2011-11-04 05:13:17 PM
Lt. Cheese Weasel: Killer Cars: If I had a reputation for outright douchery with women, I'd probably also like to make every reminder to the world possible that I actually got hitched over the offseason.



Rothlisberger also wears a penis ring during games.


Less of "ring" per se and more of a "shock collar" and not so much "during games" as "at all times" It was part of his agreement with Roselle to reduce the suspension to four games
 
2011-11-04 05:15:03 PM
rickythepenguin: Adolf Oliver Nipples: I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason.


yeah, the navy had these monthly magazines with disturbing pictures of what happens when you wear rings around hatches / live electric circuits.

GIS "degloving" / "degloving injury"


A little warning beforehand next time, so much for dinner....
 
2011-11-04 05:24:06 PM
Magorn: It was part of his agreement with Roselle to reduce the suspension to four games

Little behind the times, are we? That Bo Jackson guy really is a hell of a player, isn't he? Did you see the way he ran over Bosworth? Man, I sure hope he takes care of himself, it would suck if he got a career-ending hip injury or something...
 
2011-11-04 05:37:28 PM
Neil Rackers, K, Houston Texans: "I've done it my entire career. I like for people to know that I'm married. And quite frankly, I'm a strapping young lad, so I have to ward off the chicks any way I can.

Hilarious.
 
2011-11-04 05:45:47 PM
I've worn mine on a chain around my neck for the same reason. On my hands, they either get wrecked or they injure me somehow.

I saw one guy lay his left had down and touch his ring to the terminal on a car battery without realizing it while his steel-toed boot was on the bumper and the nose was touching the fender. He now has three toes on that foot. The smell was not nice.

Plus I'm commonly either working on powered electronics and/or futzing with chemicals, both of which are just asking for hurt.

I've seen AAA-league guys put electrical tape around/over it during games as a compromise.
 
2011-11-04 05:50:39 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: Magorn: It was part of his agreement with Roselle to reduce the suspension to four games

Little behind the times, are we? That Bo Jackson guy really is a hell of a player, isn't he? Did you see the way he ran over Bosworth? Man, I sure hope he takes care of himself, it would suck if he got a career-ending hip injury or something...


Wow my brain really went and wrote Roselle when pulling the datafile marked "NFL Commissioner"?-holy crap I'm old.... (well at least they both have a double "L" in their names
 
2011-11-04 05:54:43 PM
As smart as Ryan Fitzpatrick is, he's a dumbass for wearing his wedding band, but at least if anything happens it's on his non-throwing hand.
 
2011-11-04 06:41:47 PM
I figured it was just a reminder not to rape people.
 
2011-11-04 07:08:35 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples: I'm surprised Romo doesn't prominently wear his to try to convince us that she's anything but a beard.

The first time one of these guys gets a broken finger and the ring gets stuck and has to be cut off or, God forbid, the loss of circulation leads to amputation of the finger, I'm going to laugh. Was it worth it?

I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. My wife doesn't care, it upsets her not at all. If their wives are so vainglorious that they need to see their man wearing a ring those marriages are not going to be around very long.


Military marriages are suddenly the gold standard of stability.
 
2011-11-04 07:22:19 PM
AdmirableSnackbar: I think the more probable event would be getting your finger ripped off when the ring gets caught in someone's facemask (or between two facemasks). And I have played with several rugby players who got ring tattoos on their fingers. Wouldn't that be a better solution?

Not sure about more probable - I remember my dad just jamming his ring finger playing basketball and it got to the point where it was either the ring finger or the ring getting cut off.

/never wear my ring playing sports
 
2011-11-04 08:44:49 PM
ks1415: Neil Rackers, K, Houston Texans: "I've done it my entire career. I like for people to know that I'm married. And quite frankly, I'm a strapping young lad, so I have to ward off the chicks any way I can.

Hilarious.


I don't know. I find Neil Rackers very attractive, noticed him during the 2009 Superb Owl. Don't care for him with the buzzcut tho.
 
2011-11-04 09:09:26 PM
Magorn: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Magorn: It was part of his agreement with Roselle to reduce the suspension to four games

Little behind the times, are we? That Bo Jackson guy really is a hell of a player, isn't he? Did you see the way he ran over Bosworth? Man, I sure hope he takes care of himself, it would suck if he got a career-ending hip injury or something...

Wow my brain really went and wrote Roselle when pulling the datafile marked "NFL Commissioner"?-holy crap I'm old.... (well at least they both have a double "L" in their names


Taglliabue?

/Just kidding
 
2011-11-04 10:26:50 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples:

I fly in the military, and wearing rings is strictly forbidden for a reason. I haven't worn mine on my finger for nearly a decade, I wear it around my neck with my dog tags. My wife doesn't care, it upsets her not at all. If their wives are so vainglorious that they need to see their man wearing a ring those marriages are not going to be around very long.


Came to say this, except the "I fly" part. I used to fly. My family flies. I used to work in aircraft safety and there was a monthly magazine. In the back were accident photos of people's hands with fingers removed or the skin flayed from the fingers. Nasty stuff.
 
2011-11-04 10:32:00 PM
"big ben" is one ugly fuxk. Who would marry that hideous, stupid, rapey troll and then live in pittsburgh?
 
2011-11-05 12:05:58 AM
duckpoopy: "big ben" is one ugly fuxk. Who would marry that hideous, stupid, rapey troll and then live in pittsburgh?

A woman who loves money?
 
2011-11-05 01:30:05 AM
duckpoopy: "big ben" is one ugly fuxk. Who would marry that hideous, stupid, rapey troll and then live in pittsburgh?

0/10
 
2011-11-05 04:19:19 AM
Just another step in the process of ingratiating a serial rapist to the general public.

i.imgur.com
 
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