Cruelty is so hilarious.

The last two kids were awesome.

All the parents were dicks.

Fortunately, they have guaranteed their own punishment in the long term.

unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

A friend of mint told his kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, that means he's run out of ice cream.

Flint Ironstag: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

A friend of mint told his kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, that means he's run out of ice cream.

That might be the funniest worst thing I've heard all week, and I'm including "Jesusween".

God Is My Co-Pirate: Flint Ironstag: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

A friend of mint told his kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, that means he's run out of ice cream.

That might be the funniest worst thing I've heard all week, and I'm including "Jesusween".

That was many years ago. His children are adults now and, strangely, don't hate him. They do however never trust him.

When I was little, my parents told me that pizza only came with bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, and all the stuff I hated.
I never got a pizza the way I wanted until I paid for it my damn self.
McDonalds also heaped onions on all the burgers they made. Only way you could get it.

There should be an entire channel dedicated to videos of kids being tricked.

ytterbium: Last year, we ate some of one of my kid's candy. He told us that next year, he was going to count it and hide it from us.

Monday night, he came home and counted them all, 186 to be exact. He said, "There had better be 186 pieces in my bag when I get home from school tomorrow." He did count them all yesterday, subtracted what he ate, then counted them again today.

I'm assuming he'll be a 1%-er when he grows up.

Well, he can do math, so that's a good start.

quickdraw: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

Then you're doing it right. Otherwise payback is a biatch.

I never do shiat like that to my kids and you know what? Now that they are teenagers they know they can trust me. If I tell them something is a really bad idea they believe me because I never ever lied to them or tricked them.

Are you kidding? My dad did that kind of stuff to me all the time when I was a kid. It's a dad privilege. I look back on it now and think of how hilarious it was, but maybe that's because he taught me things like context and I matured (mainly due to his and my mom's upbringing) into a responsible and logical adult (and I was a pretty logical teenager, too) who is capable of separating jokes from real, deep trust.

brigid_fitch: Flint Ironstag: God Is My Co-Pirate: Flint Ironstag: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

A friend of mint told his kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, that means he's run out of ice cream.

That might be the funniest worst thing I've heard all week, and I'm including "Jesusween".

That was many years ago. His children are adults now and, strangely, don't hate him. They do however never trust him.

My father taught us the wrong words for things (curtains were called boxes, for instance) and purposely mispronounced words (sword with a stress on the w, knife didn't have a silent k). That was many, MANY years ago and all of us are adults now. Strangely, we never hated him and actually did trust him. Most of the time. We had to double check whenever he made a declarative statement, though.

My brother swears he's going to do that to his spawn. Tell them that a fork is called a spoon, etc. Then he's going to wait until they start school and laugh at them when they get home and freak out about it. He's also planning on giving the first two the exact same name and dressing them in different colours to "organize" them. One kid will have all green clothes, down to the underwear and socks and the other will have blue. He now has a serious girlfriend who's just a screwd up as him and I'm undecided whether I want him to breed or not. It will be hilarious on one hand but I may find myself footing the bill for the poor childrens therapy.

yeah those last two were funny, taking it real well. Then Mom brings up the peanut butter cups...the one ALMOST loses it. good kids

The tylenol poisoning in chicago ruined my halloween from age 8-up. Hopefully those kids aren't scarred.

ytterbium: Last year, we ate some of one of my kid's candy. He told us that next year, he was going to count it and hide it from us.

Monday night, he came home and counted them all, 186 to be exact. He said, "There had better be 186 pieces in my bag when I get home from school tomorrow." He did count them all yesterday, subtracted what he ate, then counted them again today.

I'm assuming he'll be a 1%-er when he grows up.

Perfect opportunity to replace the 'good' candy with something 'bad'. Peanut Butter cup for a fireball or something. You don't have to eat it, but see how long it takes the kid to go 'where's all the good stuff' and 'what is this crap'. Then point out he has been counting it to make sure you didn't eat it..... then eventually give him the 'good' stuff back.

quickdraw: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

Then you're doing it right. Otherwise payback is a biatch.

I never do shiat like that to my kids and you know what? Now that they are teenagers they know they can trust me. If I tell them something is a really bad idea they believe me because I never ever lied to them or tricked them.

So, you're saving it up for the mother of all jokes ? I like it.

Gilligann: I absolutely HAVE to do this when my kid is old enough. He's 6 months now, so i'm not entirely sure if he'll be old enough to go out next year.

Is 1 1/2 a good age to go out?

We took our 5.5 month old out this year for a walk around the neighborhood in his pumpkin outfit, and he had a blast checking out all the noisy kids that were running around. He also liked seeing dogs, though seeing so many in costumes seemed to confuse him a bit. (Seriously people, 5 dogs in costume in less than 5 blocks? Really?)

Taking your kid out next year should be great. Now, letting him have candy may be an entirely different story...

Came home from active duty to live with the 'rents and dad was POed to find all his beer gone.
Opened the back door and LO, there was 2 (two, cont 'em) cases of beer on the back porch, shilled in the October morning.
"must have been the beer fairy" I said, "Left an empty case out there last night, I did."
He just marveled at how I had mindfarked him back after years of crap.
We had a beer and lausghed over it.



beer fairy.

gotta love it.

The kids at the end are hilarious, even though I'm convinced the older brother was in on it. Either he's really mature and sarcastic for his age or he's a really good actor. Either way, they made the video.

Laugh it up, they'll remember that when choosing what home to place you a--hats in.

My dad told when when I was about five that we'd make a million dollars if I could come up with a perpetual motion machine. So, I threw myself into trying to design one. I came up with the most popular kook designs on the first day, and he explained why they didn't work. Then, I spent the next few years reading my older siblings and household collegiate-level books on physics, chemistry, and eventually philosophy.

That's why all yalls retarded compared to me fyi.

Nels: My dad told whenME (you drunkard) when I was about five that we'd make a million dollars if I could come up with a perpetual motion machine. So, I threw myself into trying to design one. I came up with the most popular kook designs on the first day, and he explained why they didn't work. Then, I spent the next few years reading my older siblings and household collegiate-level books on physics, chemistry, and eventually philosophy.

That's why all yalls retarded compared to me fyi.

that last kid took the news like a boss.

eat all my candy? fine then, you're going to get a tummy ache!

OnlyM3: Laugh it up, they'll remember that when choosing what home to place you a--hats in.

"But you said you'd visit. I miss my grandchildren. Mrs. Watson was my only friend here and last night---"

"Oh, hold on. Could you ask the nurse to turn on that video camera I sent? Thanks. Ok, continue."

Flint Ironstag: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

A friend of mint told his kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, that means he's run out of ice cream.

That made me and the wife laugh very hard - thank you

nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

Yeah I think most parents do something like that...

quickdraw: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

Then you're doing it right. Otherwise payback is a biatch.

I never do shiat like that to my kids and you know what? Now that they are teenagers they know they can trust me. If I tell them something is a really bad idea they believe me because I never ever lied to them or tricked them.

omg get over yourself

quickdraw: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

Then you're doing it right. Otherwise payback is a biatch.

I never do shiat like that to my kids and you know what? Now that they are teenagers they know they can trust me. If I tell them something is a really bad idea they believe me because I never ever lied to them or tricked them.


There's a thin, hypersensitive line between lying/tricking and joshing/ribbing. If the only basis my kids had for whether to trust me or not was on jokes and pranks (of which they are both becoming young masters) then I would be a hated, vilified and untrusted dad. Fortunately being a parent is a full time, 360 degree deal regarding all aspects of life. On things of importance or gravity I never prank or joke around and they know this. I think it's helped them to differentiate between things they should pay extra or serious attention to and things they should laugh off or scratch their heads at thinking 'WTF?' and forget about.

Not only do my kids trust and believe me when it counts, we also got to share the learned joy of pouring pre-iced water on their mom in her shower. Hilarity ensued and we enjoyed it much.

Oh, and that website sucked.

Noctusxx: If the Parents didn't come clean after turning off the Camera, then they are gonna have a fun trip tot the ER next year when the Kids try and eat all the candy as fast as they possibly can to keep it out of Mom and Dad's hands.

Are you serious?

When I was five, I ate too much Halloween candy and promptly barfed it all back up. I don't think you have to worry about a trip to the ER unless your little snowflake is diabetic....

Flint Ironstag: A friend of mint told his kids that when the ice cream truck plays its tune, that means he's run out of ice cream.

I told mine that the truck is actually an ambulance and they play that song when they're practicing their routes. It won't last, as my son is reading now, but then I'll just change the story to "no."

ytterbium: Last year, we ate some of one of my kid's candy. He told us that next year, he was going to count it and hide it from us.

My parents did a full "inspection" of our haul each year, and import duties were assessed at that time. I never had a Special Dark or Almond Joy from my pumpkin, that's for sure! I'm not so surreptitious, though, I just tell them that we share, and we do.

iron_city_ap: Peanut Butter cup for a fireball or something.

My 4-y/o went to a classmate's halloween party and they were giving out atomic fireballs in the gift bags. WTF?

quickdraw: nopokerface: unyon: If you have kids, then you already know that toying with their emotions for your own entertainment is mandatory.

I have 3, but I missed that memo.

Then you're doing it right. Otherwise payback is a biatch.

I never do shiat like that to my kids and you know what? Now that they are teenagers they know they can trust me. If I tell them something is a really bad idea they believe me because I never ever lied to them or tricked them.

What a ball you must be at parties.