The greatest American melon tragedy was Soleil Moon Frye getting a reduction. Two, actually.

l real tragedy is that the the thread has made it this far without some SFW melons. I'll start:

Subby is forgetting the premature death of Anna Nicole Smith.

Gallagher was a tragedy not only to melons, but to the entire world of comedy.

Who cares, honeydew is where it's at.

Iniamyen1: Who cares, honeydew is where it's at.

Honeydew is the money melon

BroVinny: l real tragedy is that the the thread has made it this far without some SFW melons. I'll start:

[cdn02.cdn.thesuperficial.com image 480x720]

Wellon Dowd: [jerseychaser.com image 299x394]

Sorry, that was uncool. Please accept my apologies.

cbackous: Fun Fact: Gallagher has a chemical engineering degree from University of South Florida

Also, he is a craaazy bigot.

:)

MELON THREAD!

Surly U. Jest: MELON THREAD!

Can anyone in here explain what was funny about Gallagher? He was very popular.

This thread is already shaping up nicely.

Standard Deviant: Can anyone in here explain what was funny about Gallagher? He was very popular

Hang over from the 70s. People weren't thinking too coherently in the early 80s.

Cantawhat?

Bri_Bri_Gooch: Standard Deviant: Can anyone in here explain what was funny about Gallagher? He was very popular

Hang over from the 70s. People weren't thinking too coherently in the early 80s.

Melon humor was all the rage back then. Letterman was dropping them off towers, Gallagher was smashing them. It seemed like a good idea at the time, like disco.

Subby, listeria is a danger to peoples intestines, not a danger to melons. Gallagher was a danger to people's minds.

Standard Deviant: Can anyone in here explain what was funny about Gallagher? He was very popular.

You can probably attribute his popularity to lowest common denominator/ prop comic stuff.
He played at the comedy club where I bartend a few years ago.
He did about an hour of straight stand-up before he started smashing shiat.
His straight comedy was actually insightful, and pretty funny.

That said, he was a major asshole.

cowgirl toffee: One of America's greatest melon tragedies...

[img444.imageshack.us image 196x257]

I have a suspicion that her knees really ARE sharp.

elev8meL8r: cowgirl toffee: One of America's greatest melon tragedies...

[img444.imageshack.us image 196x257]

I have a suspicion that her knees really ARE sharp.

Not to mention that the melons and the knees are British.

Standard Deviant: Can anyone in here explain what was funny about Gallagher? He was very popular.

Actually, there is a lot of Gallagher hate here on Fark that is unwarranted. He had a string of specials in the 80s and 90s and I'd seen most of them and they had their funny moments. Years later I saw him at the Laurie Auditorium at Trinity University and he did a solid 2 1/2 hours of stand up comedy where he re-told some of the jokes from all of those specials and for each joke, he had a different twist, a different follow up a different call back, essentially made all that old material new and funny again. I thought it was pretty impressive especially the 2 1/2 hours of stand up. Most acts are lucky to scare up a solid 10 or 20 minutes.

I know. CSB

He's definitely no Dane Cook, seeing how his jokes actually had punchlines and a point.

[APPROVED!]

I liked his bit on words...
/and the moose douche that shoots...

What about Shannon Hoon? Blind Melon tragedies don't count?

Jack Black 62: Hey dumb asses!!! Wash your damn food and you won't get sick!

/channeling Good Eats

Musk Melons

/end channel

Not a melon fan (even with my DD's... no I will NOT send you BIE and call me an AW all you want, I've had a shiatty week anywho), I prefer berries. Mmmm... raspberry reduction with chocolate shavings and sambuca.

Kind of a boring story, but hey. it does have a link to a slideshow of teacher sex scandals! (all woman of course)

srhp29: What about Shannon Hoon? Blind Melon tragedies don't count?

Blind Melon was great. Especially his song, "Goin' Downtown Gonna See My Gal".

Spanky3woods: "Actually, there is a lot of Gallagher hate here on Fark that is unwarranted."

Are you unaware that he's gone full-retard since then?
http://www.salon.com/2010/07/03/this_week_crazy_gallagher/

If he faded off into the sunset as the goofy prop comic with the hammer-gag, I'm pretty sure he'd be fondly recalled like the rest of the 80s pop culture detritus we tend to push onto pedestals around here. But he didn't fade away. He didn't even burn out. He started setting fires for attention.

That tends to color people's memories of even the good old times.

Jack Black 62: Hey dumb asses!!! Wash your damn food and you won't get sick!

Normally that works. Normally.
In the case of the cantaloupes, the Listeria bacteria has been absorbed into the skin and passed into the meat of the melon. Wash all you want, you still get the bacteria.

Your mind's in listeria
it's like the darkness is light
Listeria, am I scaring you tonight?
Listeria, ain't used to what you like
Listeria, Listeriaaaaaa

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: the meat of the melon

Is that some kind of tranny thing?

Standard Deviant: Can anyone in here explain what was funny about Gallagher? He was very popular.

He was not popular for being funny. He was a big supporter of equal rights for immigrant fruit pickers and held many protests and fundraisers for the cause.

I work for a company that designs and manufactures production equipment for a food processing company. One of our vendors tried to interest us in footings for the machines we make. (We make our own "feet" for our machines.) The footings he was pushing had an opening in the top with a bearing inside - enough of an opening where moisture would collect inside during sanitation.

I told him that moisture buildup can lead to listeria, and he said (somewhat defiantly), "Well, it's only in the feet." He was unaware of just how serious listeria is. It actually shut down a meatpacking plant here for 6 months a few years ago.

That vendor is now an in-house order taker and no longer handles outside sales.

(NSWF) I hear this is how they contracted Listeria Link (new window) (NSFW)