Christianity hadn't taken over and made everything sinful and shame based?

/.obvious

It's not as easy to sculpt a vagina?

That cock worship wasn't something I came up with?

What do ancient penis decorations say about us?

That we're a sexual species, and sex is as important to us as food and shelter are?

Every single one of us Farkers is here because a long line of our ancestors had sex. Lots of it. Unfortunately, we're on Fark so the chain won't go much further.

It's a shame that many religious, Christianity in particular, in our western culture have tried to distance us from the natural world and segregate us from what makes us human.

Jock #1:What's up, babes?
Womynist #1: Pack up your rape culture and take a hike!
Jock #1: You want a brewdog?
Womynist #1: We're not interested in your penis!
Womynist #2: Wait, wait, I think he's offering us a beer.
Womynist #2: Um... Yes. We, would like, a beer.
Jock #1: Okay!
Womynist #1: So it's like, if you're nice to them, they *bring* you things?
Womynist #2: Exactly.

Check out ancient Roman art. They were more obsessed with penises than any culture I've ever seen. They also did hilariously weird thing with them (NSFW if your office is prudish):

Link (new window) - Flying penis/flying cat penis where all of the limbs are also penises.

Link (new window) - Statuette of a gladiator fighting his own penis, which has turned into a panther and is attacking him.

Link (new window) - Painting of Priapus, the phallic god, weighing his own enormous penis against a pile of fruit while cross-dressing.

Those Roman were whack, man.

Whoops. Let's try that gladiator one again.

Link (new window) - Again, NSFW if your office is stupidly prudish.

That dick jokes have always been funny and always will be.

That there were always dildo manufacturers?

Occasionally we find them to be convenient improvised bludgeons

That our ancestors had too much time on their hands?

/And their own penis IN their hands

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: It's not as easy to sculpt a vagina?

I'd vote for this post if I could.

Need Help Soonish: That cock worship wasn't something I came up with?

And this! lol

That based on the pics in TFA I think I may have been short changed by mother nature!

(did I just say that out loud?)



lol well j/k then

Okieboy: That based on the pics in TFA I think I may have been short changed by mother nature!

(did I just say that out loud?)



lol well j/k then

Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

DROxINxTHExWIND: StevetheSkull: That our ancestors had too much time on their hands?

/And their own penis IN their hands


I know. They should have been as busy as we are now...

To be fair, lots of farkers, fark with their penis in there hand.

///Double entendre? I simply don't know what your talking about!

BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

It is also important to remember that the less endowed fellows have an easier time talking the ladies into anal!

Need Help Soonish: BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

It is also important to remember that the less endowed fellows have an easier time talking the ladies into anal!

It also helps getting deep-throated if you don't reach past her tonsils.

The designs observed on 30 of the 42 portable phalli, explain the researchers, "probably represent decoration produced by skin scarification, cutting, piercing and tattooing," and could very well "provide a clue to the anthropological origin of current genital tattooing and piercing."

Portable phalli? They wanted $22, but I talked them down to $17....

BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

What I lack in enthusiasm, I make up in chloroform.

elev8meL8r: BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

What I lack in enthusiasm, I make up in chloroform.

Oh, you sweet talker you!

costermonger: That guitars are phallic symbols?

Sybarite: We've always been obsessed with our ding-a-lings?

The penis mightier than the sword.

DROxINxTHExWIND: The transition from a strictly animalistic relationship with sex to a human one-a process sometimes referred to as sexual hominization-probably happened a long time ago over the course of a long biological and sociological evolutionary process.

Born too late.

As was 4chan:

/apologies if this is slightly nsfw

I decorate my penis with a vagina.

We decorate ancient penises because it's illegal to decorate young ones.

First prize?

What I "hate" about anthropology is they always try to find some profound meaning in what they find. Not everything has to be about fertility rites and such. Sometimes things are just humor, art or playthings. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

In particular it is difficult to separate out the real beliefs from celebrations. Future people might find evidence of Santa Claus and figure we actually believed in him. And Halloween isn't really a "day of the dead" even though there are plenty of skulls and skeletons displayed by a lot of people. On the other hand, Santa Muerte is a real cult with real believers, and there are some societies with real "day of the dead" beliefs. But outwardly, it is really difficult to distinguish based on archaeological evidence -- finding a bunch of skull images can just be a tough-guy aesthetic, a Halloween tradition, an entertaining horror, or a serious belief.

Need Help Soonish: BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

It is also important to remember that the less endowed fellows have an easier time talking the ladies subby's mom into anal!

There, that's better.....

Mrs wambu is all the penis decoration I need.

/makes penis look stunning, huge

BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

It is also important to remember that the less endowed fellows have an easier time talking the ladies into anal!

It also helps getting deep-throated if you don't reach past her tonsils.

Hay! They make a cream for that :)

jabelar: What I "hate" about anthropology is they always try to find some profound meaning in what they find. Not everything has to be about fertility rites and such. Sometimes things are just humor, art or playthings. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

In particular it is difficult to separate out the real beliefs from celebrations. Future people might find evidence of Santa Claus and figure we actually believed in him. And Halloween isn't really a "day of the dead" even though there are plenty of skulls and skeletons displayed by a lot of people. On the other hand, Santa Muerte is a real cult with real believers, and there are some societies with real "day of the dead" beliefs. But outwardly, it is really difficult to distinguish based on archaeological evidence -- finding a bunch of skull images can just be a tough-guy aesthetic, a Halloween tradition, an entertaining horror, or a serious belief.

So what you're saying is that, to someone unfamiliar with our cultures, religion and general goofiness are indistinguishable from one another...hmmm...

/can't say I disagree

jabelar: Santa Muerte

Cool!

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Because

Submitted First With a Better Headline: Those Roman were whack, man.

The Romans - Japanese before the Japanese were Japanese

Detractable Penis-King Missle (new window)

They tell us that before the invention of the internet and limitless porn being piped into your bedroom, men had time to do other things with their hands than fap. They thought about fapping.

Need Help Soonish: BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: BurnShrike: Need Help Soonish: Just remember... The average penis size in the US is about 6 inches. If your packing about that, you got nothing to worry about.

What I lack in size, I make up for in enthusiasm.

It is also important to remember that the less endowed fellows have an easier time talking the ladies into anal!

It also helps getting deep-throated if you don't reach past her tonsils.

Hay! They make a cream for that :)

A cream to make your penis small enough to fit in someone's mouth?

No thanks.

DNRTA too lazy. Is the penis gourd going to make a comeback?!?

/mine's ready

Ancestors were not as big tight assed as people today?

stuffy: Ancestors were not as big tight assed as people today?

Judging by some of the art-work I've seen, their asses were looser not tighter.

SB&GC,T



obscure

Who likes ancient penis decorations?

I like the new models.. Roughly 21 years old, 5'8", with a great body... those make *much* better penis decorations.

Seriously, if you guys can't figure out that those are all ancient DILDOES, for the use of ancient lesbians and ancient man-haters of all kinds, just sniff them. The ancient stank is prolly still on them.

What do ancient penis decorations say about us? So gland you asked

What, no pun subby?

I so disappoint.