Bay probably wakes to the sound of TNT detonation every morning.

...farking seriously? No one thought to post this before me?

Michael Bay Presents: EXPLOSIONS (new window)

Phil Moskowitz: I miss the feeling of being wowed by non artistic cinema. I remember that feeling as a kid. Almost as good as highschool sex. I literally switch off watching this guys nonsense.

I find that as I get older, I care less and less about the action in an action movie and more about the motives of the characters in it. Don't get me wrong, I love action. I just think a fight scene that drags out 5+ minutes does nothing to advance the plot and assists neither character's motivation (other than they want to kill each other). I'm happy with a Shakespearean "They fight. Tybalt dies." card, so we can get on with the rest of the story. It's not important how Romeo kills Tybalt. The only thing that matters is that Romeo kills him.

One recent film I watched and farking LOVED was X-Men: First Class, and other than the rushed finale it has almost no extensive fight scenes or ridiculous Baysplosions. In fact, most of the movie is a study of great, complex, deeply moving characters, and all the classic tropes are there: The childhood revenge arc, teenage alienation and persecution, the curse of being different, the precocious protagonist, betrayal and loss, irreconcilable differences, and overcoming one's handicaps and turning them into strengths. It even has a badass split-screen training montage where six different heroes are all honing their skills. That is more fascinating to me than them going around beating people up.

Star Wars is somewhat the same. Despite the jaw-dropping special effects, the movie was never actually about space action. It was just a really solid story that took its time telling it, and it told it well (the first 45 minutes has our heroes farting around in the desert, for crying out loud). You can't say that about the prequels, or about Bayformers, or about any other sub-par dreck that sacrifices substance for style.