FARK.com: (6698984) You can only stab so many defense lawyers before the judge stops giving you new ones

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		You can only stab so many defense lawyers before the judge stops giving you new ones (heraldnet.com)		39
		More: Obvious

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5909 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2011 at 5:04 PM | Favorite | share:

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PowerSlacker		2011-11-02 05:07:32 PM

You are allowed an infinite number of repeat links on Fark though.

Somaticasual		2011-11-02 05:08:38 PM

"sorry, jeffrey, we can't just keep buying pets for you"

- jeffrey dahmer's parents. you know, a few years before the nastiness.

skinink		2011-11-02 05:08:38 PM

Because the guy might stab a lawyer the judge actually likes.

Maedros		2011-11-02 05:09:12 PM

Why do they keep saying "allegedly" when there seem to have been witnesses to all of the attacks?

jayhawk88		2011-11-02 05:10:28 PM

I bet this guy though he had found one hell of a loophole.

"They have to assign me a lawyer, if I just keep stabbing them, I can putting this off forever!"

mottsnil		2011-11-02 05:12:29 PM

Christ take away a mans drugs and he gets all stabby.

watson.t.hamster		2011-11-02 05:12:42 PM

No new, fix old.

BigNumber12		2011-11-02 05:13:40 PM

Arlington police Officer Michael Sargent was seated at the prosecution's table and caught the movement out of the corner of his eye. He grabbed Monson's arm and swept the man's leg.

i186.photobucket.com

Approves

LoneWolf343		2011-11-02 05:15:15 PM

Being "unable to assist in his own defense" comes to mind...

cgraves67		2011-11-02 05:17:22 PM

Maybe now he'll do the judicial system a favor and stab himself.

Daobaz		2011-11-02 05:25:24 PM

At least they finally got the point.

ZAZ		2011-11-02 05:25:41 PM

I like that the "case law" hyperlink goes to relevant case law instead of past stories in the newspaper with the keywords case law.

apoptotic		2011-11-02 05:26:48 PM

Maedros: Why do they keep saying "allegedly" when there seem to have been witnesses to all of the attacks?

It's a CYA move so that if he somehow gets acquitted it'd be harder for him to sue them for defamation; they'll drop the "allegedly" once he's actually been convicted.

kbotc		2011-11-02 05:28:23 PM

I do not envy public defense attorneys. My aunt was one and she was stabbed in the foot by someone she was defending. She lost her job over it as well (The state decided she should be done with workman's comp before she was able to walk).

/CSB

Wizard Drongo		2011-11-02 05:28:58 PM

Maedros: Why do they keep saying "allegedly" when there seem to have been witnesses to all of the attacks?

Because until someone has been found guilty, they are presumed innocent. Whilst it is fine for you and I to state something as if we believe it to be true (like "he stabbed his lawyer"), if a member of the media or press do so, it could be seen by members of an eventual jury, thus meaning they could prejudge the defendant, and result in an unfair trial.
It also (at least in Scotland it does), can land the papers in the dock for contempt of court, especially if the trial is actually in progress; a good example of this was a famous murder a few years back, where a newly-opened sleazy-tv station had one of it's "news reporters" (aka blonde big-titted moron) outside the Old bailey, who ended her piece with "hope they find him guilty, the murdering bastard" or words to that effect. The Judge felt that this could potentially cause the jury if they heard of it, to be contaminated, and of course, once it's out there, any new potential jurors are also likely to have seen it, and ruled the station in contempt.
Live!TV I think was the tabloid tv station. Might be wrong on that though...

EggSniper		2011-11-02 05:32:23 PM

Fool me twice ...

CowboyUpCowgirlDown		2011-11-02 05:35:22 PM

I submitted a better headline:

Stab three lawyers and you won't get another. Promise?

dumbandilikeit		2011-11-02 05:37:49 PM

Pic of the fine upstanding citizen (new window)

jjorsett		2011-11-02 05:39:58 PM

How many guards, lawyers, and civilians do you have to attack and/or murder before nobody will much care if you accidentally fall down ten flights of stairs at the jail? After reading his history, that seems like the least wasteful way of dealing with pure human debris.ob

Unfreakable		2011-11-02 05:50:07 PM

PowerSlacker: You are allowed an infinite number of repeat links on Fark though.

If you could point me to the previous Fark link in question I'd be ever so grateful

GleeUnit		2011-11-02 05:50:51 PM

FTA: Monson said he was worried about the jury seeing him strapped into a restraint chair.

"How can they fairly judge me when they see me in a chair like this?" he asked.

Uhhh.. Buddy? I would be a bit more concerned with the fact that the jury.. You know, the one that gets to decide on your guilt or innocence? Yeah, they saw you stab a guy. I would say you can consider yourself judged.

dumbandilikeit		2011-11-02 05:55:47 PM

Unfreakable: PowerSlacker: You are allowed an infinite number of repeat links on Fark though.

If you could point me to the previous Fark link in question I'd be ever so grateful

The "repeat" was probably when he did this for the second time :)

Marcintosh		2011-11-02 05:58:58 PM

Kurtz advised jurors to ignore the restraints. The judge also ordered the jury to disregard the incident involving Cantor's pen, and the defense attorney's sudden absence.

Laughing so hard at the story it's hard to breathe.

that's not an argument
yes it is
no it's not
yes it is
GAINSAY is not
HAHAHAHAHAHA

One Bad Apple		2011-11-02 06:03:37 PM

Murder ? Well, now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means. I know what *you* think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made up word. A politician's word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie, and have a BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD *STAB STAB STAB STAB*

/Can't wait for his parole hearing

Hassan Ben Sobr		2011-11-02 06:05:36 PM

"What? Should I not have done that?"

Unfreakable		2011-11-02 06:05:40 PM

dumbandilikeit: The "repeat" was probably when he did this for the second time :)

Maybe but I hate repeats as much as (maybe more than) many of you, and I'm in a position to fix it in about ten seconds if this is actually a repeat.

Sinto		2011-11-02 06:15:04 PM

Unfreakable: dumbandilikeit: The "repeat" was probably when he did this for the second time :)

Maybe but I hate repeats as much as (maybe more than) many of you, and I'm in a position to fix it in about ten seconds if this is actually a repeat.

Unfreakable, you are Fark's Angel of Death when it comes to repeats

dumbandilikeit		2011-11-02 06:20:08 PM

Marcintosh: Kurtz advised jurors to ignore the restraints. The judge also ordered the jury to disregard the incident involving Cantor's pen, and the defense attorney's sudden absence.

Laughing so hard at the story it's hard to breathe.

that's not an argument
yes it is
no it's not
yes it is
GAINSAY is not
HAHAHAHAHAHA

My guess is the jurors are now thinking "What's the biggest charge we can agree to so we can get this guy locked up for a VERY long time"

2wolves		2011-11-02 06:20:51 PM

dumbandilikeit: Pic of the fine upstanding citizen (new window)

He's insane. Take the time for an psych eval, then put him down if there is no hope.

Unfreakable		2011-11-02 06:21:38 PM

Sinto: Unfreakable, you are Fark's Angel of Death when it comes to repeats

It hurts quality, and I want Fark's quality to be as good as possible. Not only with killing repeats, but across the board.

Sock Ruh Tease		2011-11-02 06:26:27 PM

If you cannot stab your own attorney, an attorney will be stabbed for you.

blazemongr		2011-11-02 06:34:30 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: If you cannot stab your own attorney, an attorney will be stabbed for you.

I'm okay with this.

One Bad Apple		2011-11-02 06:41:40 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: If you cannot stab your own attorney, an attorney will be stabbed for you.

Dibs on that job

JanusofZeal		2011-11-02 06:46:04 PM

ZAZ: I like that the "case law" hyperlink goes to relevant case law instead of past stories in the newspaper with the keywords case law.

Holy crap. That's pretty amazing. I wouldn't even think to click on it. I've been trained that links mid article = advertisement. I feel like they deserve a prize for that.

Seriously, why did you even click it? Do you still have hope?

ZAZ		2011-11-02 07:01:25 PM

JanusofZeal

I checked where the link went before clicking. The words seemed like an odd pair to trigger automatic linkification and I figured the link might be useful.

platedlizard		2011-11-02 09:23:21 PM

Meth, it's a hell of a drug.

Submitted First With a Better Headline		2011-11-02 10:30:33 PM

Marcintosh: Kurtz advised jurors to ignore the restraints. The judge also ordered the jury to disregard the incident involving Cantor's pen, and the defense attorney's sudden absence.

Laughing so hard at the story it's hard to breathe.

Yeah. The motions that the judge is going through here are hysterical. "Now, everyone pretend that he didn't stab that guy and judge his drug-addled self fairly."

I feel bad for the people getting shanked, but at least this animal is going away for a long time, no doubt.

arbitrary		2011-11-03 09:07:25 AM

mid-article: "Monson is charged with possession of methamphetamine"
Reaction: "Wow, Meth can make you do farked up things"

Last line of article: "That is in addition to a second-degree murder charge connected to the Jan. 2 shooting of Brian Jones, 30, who was killed while talking on a cellphone in a south Everett apartment."
Reaction: "Oh, well, fark meth, this guy is dangerous anyways."